Seth drained his wineflask and reached for more, Atem watching him sadly. The high priest was already sufficiently drunk, but he had no intent to stop drinking. Atem drank with him, but he was careful to drink much less than the priest. Seth was upset, and Atem wanted to be clear-minded enough to stop him if he should try to do something foolish.
"How could she?" Seth growled bitterly before throwing his head back and taking another gulp of wine. That action alone was enough to throw him off-balance, and he fell back onto the cushions that filled the floor. Atem crawled over and took the wineflask from the priest's hand before anymore spilled out. Perhaps he should have taken the wine from him long ago.
"How could she?" Seth repeated in a strangled whisper, his eyes watering. His mood was being directed by the capricious current of the river of wine he'd consumed, and Atem's heart ached for his cousin. He'd never seen Seth drunk, never seen anyone drink this much in one sitting. Even after he'd gotten sick an hour ago, he'd kept drinking. He squeezed his sapphire eyes shut as if that could keep him from acknowledging the tears that his eyes now shed, as if that could keep him from acknowledging the pain he felt.
"I'm sorry." It was all Atem could think to say that wouldn't throw Seth into another rage or another fit of tears. He'd tried talking sense to him, and it had accomplished nothing. Seth just needed time to feel—which was something he'd never allowed himself before, and as such, there was too much pent up within him that now spilled out.
"I bet she planned it all along," Seth muttered angrily, eyes still closed.
"You know that's not true," Atem murmured calmly, shifting himself so that he could hold Seth's head in his lap and stroke his hair. Seth wouldn't remember this in the morning, so Atem was feeling a bit bold. "Kisara's incapable of malice."
"Don't defend her," Seth snarled, blinking more tears from his eyes. "Not when she… she…"
"She broke your heart." Atem whispered the awful truth as he lifted the corner of his own tunic to dry Seth's tears, then caressed the tear-stained cheeks with his gentle hands. Seeing Seth like this was breaking Atem's heart, and he wished that he had the power to console the priest. He hoped that he could tell Mana that Seth was getting over it, but it seemed like his cousin needed more time. And a bit more wine, though not tonight. He'd already drunk far too much, and Atem had let him, out of pity. That made this his fault.
"All women are capable of it," Seth spat angrily. "They're all bitches."
"And you're drunk," Atem said evenly, ignoring Seth's last comment. "You're miserable, exhausted, and extraordinarily drunk. I think it's time I got you to bed." He sighed wistfully, picturing Seth naked in his bed, the way he wanted him. That wouldn't be happening tonight, though, not with Seth so far from his right mind. It might not happen ever, but if it was to happen, it wouldn't be under these circumstances.
"I'm fine here," Seth grumbled, reaching for the flask again, but Atem snatched it and tossed it across the room out of his reach. "Hey!"
"You do not need to drink anything more tonight," he said sternly. "You're already going to be wretchedly sick tomorrow, and I don't think you want to make yourself sick again tonight." He stroked Seth's flushed cheeks with his thumbs, leaning over his head until their faces were close, upside down though they were.
"I don't care," Seth muttered, his eyes watering again.
"Yes you do," Atem rebuffed effortlessly. "And I care about you, so I'm not going to let you drink yourself to an early grave."
Seth sighed, feeling the ache in his chest more deeply than before—if that was possible. Even if he was sober, he wouldn't be able to recall the last time someone had so openly expressed any kind of affection for him. With his friends, it was an unspoken premise implied by their loyalty to each other and their pharaoh, so there was no need to say it aloud. "You do?"
"Of course I do," the young pharaoh murmured, his eyelids drooping as his lips brushed against Seth's without thinking. "I have always cared for you, Seth. I always will."
Seth shivered from the soft kiss. What surprised him was that he found it to be so pleasant. He tilted his head to repeat the sensation, and their lips met more solidly this time, but only for a few moments.
"You need to sleep." Atem shifted Seth's head out of his lap, and struggled through the process of getting Seth to first sit up, then stand. "I don't think I can get you back to your own room. Would you mind staying here with me tonight?"
"No, I wouldn't mind," Seth muttered, leaning heavily against the pharaoh.
Both of them stripped out of their formal wear to the barest of their garments—well, Atem stripped both of them down—and then climbed into Atem's large bed. Well, Seth collapsed and was helped the rest of the way in by his cousin so that they could finally sleep for what remained of the night.
"I told you that you'd drunk too much," Atem laughed, watching with amusement as the high priest clutched a pillow to his head and grumbled an unintelligible response. Atem gazed down at his cousin in pity, then reached over and pat the pillow that rested over Seth's head. "Take the day to rest. You'll be no good to any of your students, or to me, in the state you're in. I'll send someone to attend to you. You are welcome to stay here."
Atem's tender words were not lost on the hungover brunette, but he wasn't able to express his gratitude until the evening when he saw him again. Before then, though, Seth took the opportunity to bathe and dress in fresh clothes.
He finally left his state of hiding that evening to join his colleagues at dinner, which proved to be very healthy for him. The atmosphere was jovial, positive, supportive, mostly because none but of them but Atem knew what had happened between Seth and Kisara the night before. For an hour or two he was able to pretend that he was alright. Or maybe, for that brief period of time, he actually was alright.
Mahad teased him about his inability to hold his liquor while Shada reprimanded him for drinking as heavily as he had. He could take the friendly mockery and the fatherly admonishes from his friends, though. He was the youngest among the bearers of the Millennium Items, save the pharaoh himself, and he could stand the playful banter because he knew they meant no harm. When there was a moment of laughter between his elders, Isis quietly offered him her new hangover remedy that she'd been working on, for which Seth offered his gratitude. Isis's herbal concoctions tended to be quite effective, so he trusted her.
They all continued to joke and laugh for the remainder of dinner, and when it was over, Atem called Seth aside for a private discussion. They walked out to the balcony, Atem waiting for the others to be fully evacuated from the room behind them before he spoke. Seth noticed his discretion and was grateful for it.
"How are you holding up?" the pharaoh asked softly, leaning against the banister.
"I've… been better. I try not to think about it." Seth answered slowly and honestly, knowing better than to try and fool Atem with a claim that he was alright.
"I meant, how are you holding up after last night's binge?" Atem glanced up at Seth with a grin as the priest chuckled, his upright, rigid posture starting to relax a bit.
"I've had better days and never a hangover worse than this one," Seth answered with a faint smile. "Thank you for your generosity in allowing me the day to recover. You were right: I did drink far too much."
"That's alright; I was the same way when my father died," Atem replied softly, and for a moment, they both stood in silent recollection of the late pharaoh—and his brother. Seth still couldn't forgive his own father for what he'd done, so he quickly pushed his memories of Aknadin out of his mind. He couldn't deal with that right now.
"I don't think I can take much more betrayal." The words slipped out of him as he stared up at the stars.
"I beg your pardon?" He didn't understand where that comment had come from.
"I was just thinking about Kisara and… Aknadin," Seth explained, refusing to meet his pharaoh's amethyst gaze. He'd been deeply wounded twice now, experienced incredible pain at the hands of two people he'd trusted and deeply cared for. He didn't think he could survive being stabbed in the back a third time.
"Seth, look at me," Atem ordered sharply as he straightened up. Of course Seth obeyed instantly, turning his head to look down at his monarch. "You will not be betrayed by any member of my court or by me. Do not let your fear stop you from trusting me or anyone that I trust. Do we have an understanding?"
"Yes, Pharaoh," Seth answered promptly.
"Do you mean that?" Atem queried, reaching out to hold Seth's hand in his own.
"I do." They shared a moment where their eyes were drawn irrepressibly together, both pairs of eyes sparkling brightly in the moonlight.
"Come." It was all Atem said as he tugged Seth along by the hand and silently led him to his bedchambers. When they arrived, he turned to his priest and said, "One last drink before we retire for the night. What do you say?"
"One won't hurt, as long as it's only one."
Atem laughed as he handed Seth a drink and held up his own.
"To life." The toast was simple, and they both downed their drinks in one go, since Atem had been purposefully stingy with the alcohol. They put the glasses down, and Atem took Seth's hands in his own, surprising the blue-eyed priest and making him look down at his cousin in confusion.
"Do you remember much of last night?" He spoke softly, an earnest look in his large eyes.
"What do you mean?"
"Do you remember that we kissed?" The words were calm and soft, something cool and soothing in his tone, like silk or water. Seth blinked at him in surprise and dug down into his memories.
"I-I'm not sure," Seth answered hesitantly.
"May I remind you?"
Seth hesitated, taking a moment to be sure he knew what he wanted.
"You may."
They kissed softly at first. If Seth was honest with himself, he just wanted to forget his pain, and Atem was the first one to offer. He hadn't had any intimacy since Kisara had reentered his life, moved to celibacy by his love for her and his willingness to wait. Now, he had nothing and no one to wait for.
That wasn't to say that he didn't care about Atem, or that he couldn't see that Atem cared about him. It was just too soon for him to love again, and Atem seemed to understand that. Seth pulled back from the kiss, looking at Atem with uncertainty.
"You don't have to do anything you don't want to," the young pharaoh murmured as he caressed Seth's cheek. "And if you don't stay tonight, the offer is always open."
Seth didn't have an answer for him. He was too filled with doubt and hesitation to know what to say, or to say anything at all. But he did kiss him again, and one thing led to another until they were in bed and Atem was finished undressing them both. He could see the fear in Seth's eyes, how unwilling he was to be hurt again and how much he burned for intimacy.
"Is this really what you want?" he asked softly, running a hand through the priest's chestnut locks. He liked the way Seth looked when he was just himself, no ceremonial robes or any artificial adornment to his natural beauty.
"I think so," Seth breathed out. "At least, I know I trust you."
"Good." One more kiss, this one deeper as Atem wrapped his fingers around Seth's member, eliciting a groan from him. That was perhaps Seth's last lucid moment for the rest of the night.