A/N: Oh my God, I am SO sorry for the really long update! My internet was down. The only time I had internet was when I was in school and in the gym. I will make it up to you guys - since I missed like two weeks, you'll get a chapter sometime this week. Please follow, favorite, and review! Seriously it all means the world to me. Anyhow, here's your chapter 16. Hope ya'll enjoy! (And happy mothers day!)
Chapter 16
The room is filled with light rays coming from the window, the only noise detectable is the faint beeping coming from a machine connected to Helen. Closing the door slowly behind him, emerald green eyes meet with chocolate brown.
"Where's Ziva, dear?" Helen asks when she catches sight of her visitor.
Tony flashes his Dinozzo smile at Helen as he finds a place to sit. "She's working, remember? Someone has to watch the place."
She nods. Soon silence stretches between them, but neither is willing to speak. So Tony turns his attention to the television in front of the two. After mere minutes of his attention focused on the graphics in front of him, Helen taps Tony on the shoulder. "How are you, Tony?"
His face still plastered to the television screen, he replies, "Good. Work's been pretty busy. You know, the usual."
"And how about you and Ziva?"
Whipping his head around so fast to face Helen, he swears he pulled something. Instinctively, Tony places a hand on his neck, soothing the rising pain. "Me and who?"
Honestly though, he couldn't really blame her. Tony knew exactly what she was talking about. Sure, they are a couple, but with Ziva, he feels it's best to not advertise their relationship. To him, she is more than just a one night stand.
"Oh, Tony. You honestly think no one sees that there is nothing going on between you two? Both of you are too obvious." Helen continues as her eyes lock with his. "Since the day you came in that library, I knew you were troubled. I could tell by your eyes, dear. They looked sad. And yes, we had just met but I knew there was something on your mind. Maybe it was about a woman you loved.
But as his thoughts begin to move forward, to the time where he first went to that damn library, was he that obvious?
"And since the day Ziva started working at the library, she was troubled. I could not connect the pieces before, but now I can. You make her whole, Tony. You are indeed meant to be." Helen pauses, letting the last words linger into his mind. "You are her soul mate."
His lips part as he takes in Helen's words. His mind rushing back to the time where she asked him about soul mates.
"Do you ever think about soul mates?"
"They were on Decca, right? Big hit mid 70's.. Sort of a disco thing..Sing a few bars, I'll get it."
"You'll never get it."
His eyes widen as he mentally gives himself a Gibbs slap. Why didn't he take to heart what she asked? Was he that clueless? However the question that has been lurking into his brain was undeniably unmistakable. Does he believe in soul mates? Or better yet, does Helen? "You believe in that stuff?"
Helen cracks a genuine smile and nods. "I do." She reaches out to place her hand on top of Tony's,"and you should too."
She pauses after a beat, her hand still on top of Tony's. Helen squeezes his hand as their gazes meet. "Tell her you love her, Tony."
Tell her? Make the commitment-phobe say the one thing he never thought of saying? Sure, the only person in his entire life that he pictured himself pouring out his feelings for was Ziva. It is Ziva. But why can't he bring himself to do it? Maybe it's the fear of being rejected. Or the fear of her not returning his feelings. Or worse, she could break up with him because she doesn't feel the same about him. Oh God, nothing is worse than seeing the love of his life walk away. But like Gibbs, his gut is rarely wrong. He wants to tell her, man, how bad it physically aches him of the realization that this time, words need to be exchanged. And out of all words, the main one is the L-word.
If only it was that easy.
After guiding two teenagers to the biography section, she returns to the front desk. She checks the time. Half an hour past noon. Sighing, she pulls out a large, old book with a ripped hard cover that is caked with layers of dust. Ziva starts to check for all the returned books so they can be put back to their original places. Though a gruff voice catches her attention, bidding her a greeting. "How did I know you were here?"
Walking towards the desk, he gives her a smirk. "Someone tells me you've been working here while the librarian is the hospital, huh?"
She looks up and regards the silver haired man. "What can I help you with, Gibbs?"
"Nothin. My gut told me to come here."
Ziva's eyes light up as she shows her radiant smile. "Like always, your gut is never wrong, yes?"
"What'd'ya want Ziver?"
Inhaling slowly, she lets their gazes drop. "I want to come back to NCIS. I think I am ready now," she mumbles.
"Is that so?"
She exhales, exasperated by his reply. "Yes."
"How do I know you won't leave again?"
Rising her head to lock eyes with his, Ziva could feel his piercing cold blue eyes see through her. "Gibbs, you have my word. I want to come back. I am ready. But-"
"But?"
"Helen," Ziva says softly, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Helen?" He repeats.
"Yes, Helen. With her being the hospital..who is going to run the library? And ever since I came back to America, she basically took me under her wing. I owe her, Gibbs. I..I just cannot leave this library."
One corner of his mouth tugs upwards. With no hesitation, Gibbs leans over the desk and kisses her head before he leaves to her own thoughts. Whispering in her ear, he says softly,"Do whatever feels right, Ziver."
The door opening startles him from his wake. Flickering his eyes towards the entrance behind him, an elated grin suddenly spreads across his face. Tony returns his attention to the older woman in front of them, memorizing the steady rhythm of her slow heart beat. Ziva's hand finds its way to Tony's shoulder and squeezes it, immediately he places his hand over hers.
"How is she?"
"Doing better, I guess," Tony mumbles. Although truthfully, Helen looks paler than she was the first day when she was admitted. The thought of Helen leaving them actually terrified him more than telling Ziva he loves her. If it wasn't for Helen, their friendship, no, relationship would not have been at this stage in life. He owes her that much.
Movement from the bed quickly seizes his thoughts but they do not stay far away from his mind. Lurking with every new wave anxiety. A raspy and barely audible voice fills the room. "Is Ziva here, sweet heart?"
"Open your eyes, Helen. She's right here," Tony reassures her.
Flicking one eye open, indeed she is here. Sighing contently, Helen shuts her eyes, observing the hospital room through sounds. One thing that can be evidently heard is incoherent whispering ahead of her. After a hushed argument embarks, Helen hears a door open and close. When she opens her eyes, Ziva is standing in an uncertain matter, rocking on her heels. "Is there something you want to say, dear?"
Refusing to make eye contact, Ziva takes the seat Tony recently sat in. Leaning forward, Ziva quietly speaks, "Helen, I feel so conflicted. I am torn between jobs. I-I do not know how to choose."
Oddly enough, if this was Ziva's resignation, it doesn't hurt as much as she thought. Helen weakly takes Ziva's hand and places her palm on top. "Sweetie, it was bound to happen someday. Someone like you, I mean. Despite your love for literature, Ziva, you would not work at a library forever. Do what you love, dear. I think you deserve to go back at what ever you did before."
"Helen, if I do go back, what will happen to the library? You're still in the hospital for God sakes."
Giving Ziva a faint reassuring smile, Helen continues,"I was thinking of selling it. I'm getting too old to run that place. As much as I love books, I think the library deserves new owners. Maybe you could help me with the paper work, huh?"
Ziva stares in disbelief. The thought of the library having new owners to some extent, worries her. However maybe this can have a good outcome. Helen is too weak to run the workplace by herself. Although like Ziva, she is too stubborn, she would rather sell the place than hire more employees. If Helen does end up selling the library, Ziva hopes that the new owners will take good care of it. It is a place of sanctuary after all. "I will think about it," Ziva replies hesitantly.
That was all it took for Helen. Ziva's approval of what has been stuck in her head was very satisfying. Now, however, Helen must believe that Tony can take the leap of faith by telling Ziva how he feels. In all honestly, they both needed a push. Hopefully in the end, they will have their happy ending.