HELLO DON'T KILL ME

" Alright, " Harriet says, raising her voice so everyone can hear her. A cluster of girls are now surrounding Thomas and I, " You talk first, then we will. "

It goes off like a bell in my head.

This… Harriet… She's the girl my brother dated. I don't remember how that ended up, but it seems to have been disastrous. The way he would look at her over his shoulder when she was at WICKED those couple weeks was so full of longing, even though he had Brenda.

She doesn't even remember him.

Thomas clears his throat. "All I know about your group is what I learned from Aris. And it seems we all went through pretty much the same thing inside the Maze. But since we escaped, lots of things have been different. And I'm not sure what you know about WICKED. "

" Not much. " Sonya cut in. I look at how close she and Reed are, and scan her posture for any tenseness, discomfort, or rigidness. But she looks completely relaxed. She trusts him. Just what the hell happened while he was ' dead '? Do they know what he did?

" Well, I've learned a lot about them. And so has Louisa. " Thomas casts a glance at me, one that says I will be talking and telling my part of the story.

" Yea, we saw her at WICKED headquarters. We were surprised to see her here. "

" Surprise! " I say, throwing my hands up and putting a jubilant grin on my face, " We're all stuck in the same hellhole! "

Thomas elbows my side.

" We're all here because we're special, " He continues as if I never said anything. I feel a rock digging into my butt and shift, only succeeding in making it worse. " We're being tested in one way or another. A lot of the things they're doing doesn't make sense. They're just part of the trials—what WICKED calls the Variables. "

" And sometimes Variables happen naturally, infections and the like. Maybe you'll get saved. Maybe you'll be left to rot and die. "

Thomas glares at me again. Obviously, I'm not helping. Apathy is settling in, and I force myself to think about what might happen to Thomas if I keep doing this. About what might happen to Newt and Minho and the others.

" I don't understand all of it, not even close, but I think this whole thing about killing me is just another layer. Another lie. So… I think this is just another Variable to see what we'll all do. "

I nod. Thomas is smart. I knew he would think of something to help us.

" So you want us to risk our lives because of this brilliant deduction. " Harriet says, not looking too happy about what Thomas said.

" That's exactly what we want you to do. " I say as a slight breeze carries through the cliffside. I wish it would dry the sticky sweat on my neck, but I know that's like wishing for rain. " Killing us has no point. None. I know things about WICKED that you don't. I know what extent they'll take things, how their minds work. If you kill him, I won't tell you a damn thing. I'll leave you clueless and completely at the mercy of those bastards at WICKED. "

Harriet looks over at Sonya, who just shrugs.

" Isn't the whole point of this to kill our competitors' leader? Weed out the weak and leave the strong? " Harriet looks doubtful, her green eyes traveling between Thomas and me. I shake my head no, feeling glad to have gained some composure but also trying to focus on the task at hand.

" No, think about this. How are you showing any strength by killing me? We're outnumbered and you all have weapons. How does that prove who's stronger? " I look at all the girls surrounding us, weapons casually by their sides and within easy reach. I think about the gun pressing against my back and wonder who would win.

None of the girls say anything.

" Don't blindly follow someone, ' I say, scratching my head, " Be independent, make rational decisions. You've already proven your power by kidnapping us. "

Huh, kidnapping. Like we're a bunch of kids instead of a bunch of fully matured adults capable of handling the mental and physical pressures of such a test. Oh, wait. We are kids and we can't handle this very well. Or at least I can't. The things that happened in the Maze seem so much preferable to the feeling of grief that won't stop suffocating me.

" Tell us what you know. " Harriet says, " And we'll talk to Teresa about letting you live. "

" No, not until you can guarantee our lives. "

Harriet looks at all the girls, their sunburnt faces, and then back at us. " To tell you the truth, we've been thinking the same types of things. But we wanted to see what you had to say. Teresa should be back soon. We'll talk about it when she gets here. "

Harriet stood, signaling the end of the little meeting. I feel like hitting my head on a wall, or crying, or sleeping. She starts to shove their belongings into bags, and I'm reminded of the little one I had at the beginning of this whole fiasco. I wonder what happened to the thing.

Reed casts a glance in my direction but I can't be bothered to clare at him. It's too much work. I'm going to save my energy for something important like thinking about how screwed we are. I'm not about to tell anyone I think we're all probably going to die, but that doesn't mean I can't think it.

" Thomas, " I say, rising to my feet to stretch my leg. He turns his head towards me. " Let's try not to die, alright? "

…..

Sweat drips down my face and I wipe it away. One more step, one more step, one more step. It runs through my mind, repeating like a broken record. My legs are wobbly and tired, my breath is coming in shallow gasps.

Minho has been pushing us ever since Thomas and Louisa got taken.

Judging by the position of the sun, I'd say it's a little past noon. Probably around 2:00. We've been on a steady incline for a couple of hours. My legs burn and all I want to do is sit down and chug what little water we have left.

But the thought of Louisa stuck with Reed, Reed, keeps me going. She may hate me, but I will not let her be used and hurt by him again.

God, I hope Tommy can keep her safe. If we follow Group B, they'll be hurt. It's driving me crazy not know if she's okay. She seemed extremely distraught when she saw Reed. First, a blank face, and then she was screaming and crying, and probably losing her mind. I just wanted to gab her hand and lead her away...

Her tone and face when she saw I was carrying her flashes through my mind and I cringe. She hates me. Hates me.

I have to get over it. I have to. I wish she could just understand why I did what I did. Or, maybe even scarier, she does understand and still hates me. I had pushed her away before because she kept the fact that I had a sister away from me, and now I regret doing that.

My anger wasn't unjustified, it was just childish. She was doing it because I'm not immune, and Nandini is a Crank. She was trying to save my life. As soon as she found out that we all had the Flare she told me the truth and pleaded for me not to hate her. How come, when I plead for her not to hate me, she practically tells me to fuck off?

I'm sick of thinking about this.

" Everybody take a break, " Minho says, slowing to a stop ahead of me, " We're moving again in five minutes. "

Everyone mumbles an okay and just kind of plops down on the ground. I follow suit, gladly taking the pressure off of my legs. I feel like, once we get over this mountain, it'll be a straight shot to the Safe Haven. Then we can get the cure and be safe. Didn't Janson guarantee that?

"Aris, " I say to him. He's sitting next to me, breathing heavily with sweat dripping off of his face and dirt smeared across his forehead. " What's Group B like? "

" Worried about those two? " He asks, raising an eyebrow. I nod my head as a canteen of water is passed to me. I take a sip, and then a bigger sip, and then a large gulp, relishing in the feeling of it soothing my burning throat. " Group B is… Fierce. "

" Fierce? "

" Yea. They're intense, brave, courageous, and willing to do whatever it takes to survive. " He sounds wistful and his eyes seem like they might glass over, as if he's thinking about someone from Group B. I think I remember him mentioning something about a girl named Rachel. I don't remember anything else, though. Aris spends most of his time with Thomas.

" So if they have to kill Thomas and Louisa…. " I trail off, not really wanting to say it.

" They will. " He doesn't bother to sugarcoat it or anything. I suppose we're past the point of niceties, and they're virtually useless now. They could block us from seeing what is really happening, I guess. " But, they can be swayed with moral points. If those two sticks are smart enough they could save their own lives. "

But there's still the matter of Reed. Aris told us that when he himself got there, Reed had already built a presence. I don't know how long he had been there, but it was long enough to get those girls to trust him. All this time we thought he was dead, when he was actually surrounded by girls and stuck in a maze so much like our own.

" I think, you're biggest concern, should be surviving. Not about Louisa surviving, or Thomas surviving, but yourself. " He picked at a loose strand on his pants, " I can't stand Louisa because she's so self-centered. She causes so many people to worry about her, and then she goes and hurts others without even thinking twice about it. "

Well… True enough.

" Despite that, she's been through hell and somehow managed to survive, just like the rest of us have. All of us have developed the ability to survive even when things get rough. But you can't do that if you're distracted. So focus on the task at hand. Not them. "

I've never heard Aris talk so much.

I just stare down at my feet, comprehending his words. I want to worry about Louisa and Thomas. Isn't that natural? To worry about the people you love? I just, I don't know what either of their mental conditions are. Tommy really liked Teresa. Really liked her. A betrayal had to have been mind boggling. And then Louisa… Seeing someone you thought was dead standing in front of you… I'd go out of my mind.

But Aris is right. I know Louisa can take care of herself. I know Thomas can take care of himself. I just have to make sure I make it to the Safe Haven alive so I can see them again.

I just wish I could tell Minho to calm down. Right now he's pacing, a hand shoved into his hair. He's worried about her more than I am, and that scares me. I don't know what happened between those two, but it's none of my business.

" Minho, just calm down. " Frypan says, " You're making me dizzy with all of your pacing. "

" No, I can't calm down. I'm about ten seconds away from sprinting to the Safe Haven. It's just—they're with him. "

" He's not that bad, honestly guys. " Aris says, wiping his forehead with his sleeve. It just smears the dirt there more.

" Not that bad? Not that bad? " I see a tick in Minho's jaw as flames dance in his eyes, " He raped and abused Louisa. Who knows? Maybe he's doing it to all of Group B. Maybe he swings both ways and Thomas'll get hurt too. I don't know. All I know is that they aren't safe with him around. "

" What good are you to them if you're dead? " I say, pulling one of my knees up so I can put my arm on it, " I know for a fact Louisa will kill you if you die. "

He laughs, but there isn't any humor in it. He's gone full on crazy. Maybe the Flare has already gotten to him.

" You don't have any room to talk Mr. ' let's cut her leg off to save her and then I'll mope around because she won't talk to me. '. Don't be a stupid shuck face. You don't even seem to be worried about them! "

I clench my jaw. " Bloody hell, Minho! My best friend and the girl I love are in danger. Of course I'm worried about them. But I'm also worried about getting through the day so could you please sit the hell down and shut your damn mouth! "

He grits his teeth and then crouches down, shoving his hands into his hair. I understand how he feels, because it's exactly how I feel.

I open my mouth to speak but Frypan beats me to it. " We're all worried about them. Every single one of us. But you don't see us panicking, now do you? "

He squeezes his eyes shut.

" Basically, " Nandini says, from her spot leaning against a dead tree, " He's saying get your shit together. "

He abruptly stands, taking me by surprise. His eyes open and his hands leave his hair and go to his sides.

" I'm going to scout ahead. " He says as he turns and walks away, being mindful of the rocks and crevices in the ground. I go back to looking at my feet, a single, solitary thought running through my head.

If WICKED lets us survive, I'll slaughter them for what they've done to us.

….

I tried being calm in front of them. I honestly tried. But Louisa's face from back in the Maze when she was showing us those bruises, from when she told us what happened, keeps flashing in my mind. I'm practically shaking because of it.

I'm scared for her. I'm worried about her.

If I get to the Safe Haven faster, maybe I'll see her there, unharmed. And Thomas, oh for heavens sake that stupid shank. We knew he was supposed to be killed by Group B, but we didn't do enough to prevent it. We walked right into their trap. I'm the leader. I was supposed to help these stupid shuck faces and keep them from getting hurt!

But Louisa got her leg chopped off, and Thomas has been kidnapped by the very people that are supposed to kill him.

It's all my fault. If only I had done something!

I huff as I kick a rock, biting back a frustrated yell. Louisa trusted me to protect her. They all trusted me to protect them. I failed. I've failed. What Louisa said after she got her leg amputated rings through my mind, causing my stomach to flip.

Don't betray me like Newt did. Don't hurt me.

Is this the same thing?

No, no. Now I'm just being irrational.

I take a deep breath and actually start to do what I said I would. I look around at the sparse, dead trees, some small bushes, rocks, and red dirt. There's nothing. No Cranks, no trace of-

Footprints.

There's a large cluster of them heading up to a cliff that's on my left, about a hundred or so yards away. I can just barely make out the heads of Group B standing there. My heart does a flip as familiar sandy blonde hair becomes visible, and the head bobs up and down like the person is limping. She's alive. She's alive. She's alive.

I release a shuddering breath. It doesn't do much to put me at ease, but, Louisa is alive, and she's able to stand. That's enough for now. It'll have to be.

I turn and start to walk back to the group. As much as I want to stay here and watch over Louisa, I can't. We have to start moving towards the Safe Haven again. There's only a couple of days left. If we don't make it in time, we don't get the cure, and we'll be left out here to rot and die just like every other Crank.

And that is one thing I definitely do not want to happen.

….

" What is it you wanted to tell me? " Teresa asks, putting her hands on her hips. With the setting sun behind her she looks menacing, and I have to squint at her. Why couldn't she have stood on the other side? The sun is making my eyes hurt.

" Well… " Thomas trails off, looking over at me for support.

" We wanted to tell you… " I say, scratching the back of my neck, " That you shouldn't be such a bitch. "

Thomas elbows me in the side again.

Oops.

" Was that it? " She asks, picking at one of her fingernails idly. I can't believe the person who used to be my best friend was reduced to such a state. I mean seriously! Can't she go against WICKED a little? Why follow their every rule and bide their every wish? She could at least spare us.

" No. " Thomas glares at me, " We wanted to say— "

" Quite frankly, I don't care. " Teresa says before turning away to address her group. I gape at her, disbelieving. She could at least give us five minutes of her time to hear us out. " All of you, get your stuff together. We're leaving. Group A is getting too close and we need to get to the Safe Haven. "

I cast a glance at Thomas. When are they going to kill us?

I stand and brush the dirt off of the back of my pants. My hand brushes the handle of the gun and I pull my shirt down, hoping no one notice. I also hope no one notices the gun shaped bulge against my back. As long as no one touches me I should be fine.

I turn and look over the cliff one last time, at the view that I've been staring at for the past couple of hours as they rested. I can see the Familiars trudging through the dirt and dead trees, their heads held high. It's nice to know that they didn't panic, and that no on eliot their mind. I'm half-tempted to yell out at them to move their asses a little faster, but I couldn't be bothered to spare the energy.

" Alright, " Reed grabs my arm and pulls me away from the cliff, " Let's go. "

As usual, I tense up. My mind is just screaming that this is wrong, that he shouldn't be here. Nothing can change the fact that I thought he was dead. My skin is crawling where his sweaty hand is touching me, well, my sleeve. But still. I don't want him near me.

" Why do I have to walk with you? " My voice shakes.

" Because I was the one that wanted you to come along. " He says as I limp beside him, past a girl stomping out a fire, and with the rest of the group that are descending down a hill. Thomas has two girls carrying machetes on either side of him, and I feel the tiniest sliver of pity for him. At least I don't have to worry about Reed chopping my head off.

Or at least I don't think I do.

" Why did you want me to come along? Is this a Variable? Are you a Variable? Is this all to illicit a reaction from me? " I ask all the questions in one breath, my mind racing. Yes, yes. That is probably what happened. WICKED sent him here to get more brain waves out of me, to-

" No… " Reed looks at me, confused, " I just wanted to apologize. "

" So you kidnapped me? "

" Hmm… Possibly. "

My leg starts to quiver, the one that has the prosthetic attached to it. It's aching from where Teresa hit it so many times, but I will not let Reed carry me again.

" I'm sorry for what happened in the Maze, and I'm sorry I caused you so much pain. I remember the bruises, I remember everything. " He says, looking down at the ground instead of at me. He actually sounds sincere, and that scares the everliving hell out of me. " When WICKED let me remember those two weeks, I was disgusted with myself. No one deserves to be treated like that. I'm just glad to see you didn't let it affect you much. "

Didn't affect me much?

That time, with Lee, when I froze, scared out of my mind. The times I've doubted myself and the people around me. It affected me a lot more than I would care to admit.

" Yea, " I say, " Good thing it didn't affect me much. "

The words have to claw their way out of my throat. I feel like I might puke. This could be a trick, and Reed was never controlled by WICKED. Maybe he wants to do what he did again! I won't let that happen. Not for a second time. I won't get scared if he tries anything. I won't. I won't.

I see Harriet slow her pace to walk beside Thomas. She leans close and whispers to him, and they carry on a conversation like that. I briefly wonder if I've left anyone like Noah. If, like Harriet, I was close to someone and just can't remember it. I know for a fact I don't have all of my memories back; what if there's someone lost in those memories that haven't returned?

Ugh, it's giving me a headache just thinking about it.

" How is everyone? " Reed asks, his voice coated with hope. I don't look at him as I answer, instead electing to stare at the ground underneath my feet.

" Only Newt, Minho, Thomas, Frypan, and Clint are still alive. The rest died. " I try not to sound to apathetic. It's very sad that all of those people died, but I didn't know them personally. The best I can do is not mourn for them but instead get revenge in their place. WICKED killed them, so I'll kill WICKED. It's as simple as that.

His shoulders sag, " Oh. "

" My condolences. " I mumble. I don't really mean it. It's hard to be sincere when you could lose your life at any given moment.

Rocks crunch under my feet and branches scratch at my face. The sound of footsteps and hushed conversations fill the air. We're so close to the Safe Haven, the last heat of the day almost turns bearable. We're so close to finally surviving, to getting to live.

I'm so close to being able to avenge the deaths of my family.

HEY I'M NOT DEAD

So so so so sos so so sorry for not updating for nearly a month. I realized that there's like six chapters left in the story and my mind just stopped producing words and I got stuck in a rutt for forever. Every time I tried to write, my mind would be like " ... no " Once I finish Fighting For You I have to write the third and after the third story, that's it! I won't be able to write in Louisa's POV Anymore and her adventures and basically I had a crisis.

DON'T WORRY THO. I THINK I'VE FIXED IT

{ review responses }

mazerunner26 ~ thank you

chipmunk1123 ~ Reed is unpredictable and he scares me tbh.

Martine9295 ~ Happy coincidences? I really hope I get Louisa's and everyone's emotions sorted out and soon. If I don't, the third story won't have a strong start.

{ end of review responses }

Once again, I am so so sorry. I felt so guilty about not updating but every time I tried to write it felt like someone had a put a wall in my mind and every word in the english language just flew out of my mind. It was so frustrating!

And I'm also kind of scared to write the last story. Does that make sense? Probably not.

Anyway, I'm super hungry because I kind of skipped breakfast to finish this so I'm going to go eat.

Have a nice day, evening, morning, afternoon, night!