A/N: I'm running out of ways to say thank you to you guys! You rock, all of you. Hope you enjoy The Five.
The Five
"Leave me dreaming on the bed
See you right back here tomorrow, for the next round
When I dream, I dream of your lips
When I dream, I dream of your kiss"
The lovely Elena and I are taking a trip to Whitmore College today, accompanied by the not quite so lovely Bonnie. It wasn't exactly my idea of how to teach Elena but at this point I'll take what I can get.
First though I'm going through the recently departed Connor's boxes of junk in the hopes that I can find something that tells me what the hell Klaus meant by 'the five', since Klaus himself has conveniently disappeared leaving no answers in his wake.
"So what is all this?" Stefan asks me as he stands examining the hunter's stake. "Some personal items that I snaked from the vampire hunter's RV. May he rest in peace; I'm searching for a supernatural handbook"
"You know for a fact he was supernatural?" well no, I guess not but he definitely wasn't natural.
I pull the vampire poison in a bottle out of the box, gonna want to get rid of that. Elena had werewolf venom in her system yesterday, Klaus gave her his blood thank god, but I still think we ought to get rid of the easy-access death juice.
"Guy magically appears just as someone blows up the entire Founder's Council. He's covered in a tattoo that only Jeremy Gilbert, of all people in the world seems to be able to see" seriously, why? As if we don't have enough Gilbert problems as it is.
"Klaus mentioned something about him being one of the 'five' then he kamikazes himself with explosives. Sound natural to you?" and are you just gonna stand there all day, or are you gonna help a brother out?
"What's the five?" that, my friend, is what I would like to know. I swear to god if there's another four of these guys running around I am going to lose it. My phone starts ringing, it's the sheriff.
"Liz Forbes my favourite sheriff" no, oh no, no. "What? That's...concerning. Keep me posted" Fuckery! Make that five of the, well, five, running around out there.
"What you're not gonna tell me?" Stefan asks after I hang up and put my phone away while studiously ignoring him. "Can't tell you, private, we're in a fight" hey, Meredith told me to sort things out with Elena and Stefan, but I figure one outta two ain't bad.
"You're in a fight. I'm not in a fight, I'm over it. I've been over it" he is? "You're not still mad at me about Elena?"
"You let her feed on you, I'm always gonna be mad at you but we're not in a 'fight'" hmm, well maybe I can sort things out with my brother too, everybody wins.
"Very well then, they didn't find any remains at the explosion sight" so no dead hunter after all. Klaus must have stolen him. To what end I have no clue.
"So Connor's still out there?" yep, looks that way. "I'm gonna need you to get on this today" I'm busy so he can go find Klaus and get information; he'll probably have better luck anyway given Klaus's strange affection for him.
Ah, here comes the fun part he doesn't know about yet. "I have to take Elena to college" and Bonnie, god.
"I'm sorry, you have to do what exactly?" oh come on Stefan, dumb doesn't suit you brother. "I'm teaching her how to feed. She needs to learn snatch, eat, erase now more than ever" and definitely before she tries to eat her ex-boyfriend again.
Stefan opens his mouth to argue his case but I start before he can "Ah-ah, we're not in a fight, remember?" and it's college, what's the worst that can happen?
Plus, as much as I'd love to let loose with Elena, maybe indulge in a little more blood-sharing, I have a feeling that'll be hard to do with Little Miss Judgy Pants along for the ride. I also have a feeling that that's the exact reason Elena insisted we tag along with Bonnie. Girl wants me bad, shame she can't just admit it really.
Elena finally lets me know she's ready to get on with our day and we pick up Bonnie and drive out to Whitmore. I fucking hate this place. Of course I can't tell anyone that so I just have to be a big boy and suck it up. At least it looks a hell of a lot different from the last time I was here for a, prolonged period of time. Focus, Damon. Breathe.
"Are you sure you're okay with this?" Elena asks Bonnie when we step out of the car, "If I could spell you out of wanting blood I would but I can't so, better you learn this now than at Freshman orientation"
I really should start tracking down the newest Whitmore on my hit-list; the kid must be around Elena's age by now so it's probably about tim-
"Something tells me that college isn't in my future anymore" fucking hell Salvatore, head in the game dammit. I'm here to help Elena, not reminisce over bad memories or think about killing people.
"Oh stop with the pity party, if I can go to college you can go to college" this was a bad idea. I should not have come here, why did I agree to this? I can't stop looking and I don't even know what I'm looking for. There's nothing to see here anymore, everybody's dead and buried.
"You went to college?" Sabrina asks with a surprising amount of shock, the hell do people think I've done with my eternity? I don't just kill people you know.
"Sure plenty of times, I always had a thing for sorority girls" I flash Elena a look and just like that I'm back, trip down memory lane officially over.
"You're disgusting" judgy pants retorts, "I know" but Elena is smiling and that's good enough for me.
"When I say the word witch what pops into your head?" judgy, bossy, fickle little things, we enter the room in the middle of the professor guy's lecture and take a seat.
"Is that him?" Elena asks, "He's kind of" – "hot?" Bonnie supplies. Pfft, looks kinda creepy if you ask me. Besides, they're with me, how much more hot do you want?
"...responsible for everything that goes bump in the night; from ghosts, to vampires, to doppelgangers" wow, anyone would think he knew us.
"What is this guy Witchipedia?" I ask, leaning closer to Elena which makes her laugh. You know, she hardly ever laughs, like really laughs. I'd like to change that.
"Shut up" ah Bonnie, always so quick to spoil all my fun.
"What if I'm a...Ripper?" Elena whispers at me, "you're not a Ripper" Stef's a special case, in most ways actually. "What if I am?" – "Well then pick someone and we'll find out" that is the whole point; I'm teaching her so she doesn't become a Ripper.
Elena looks around the room and I start to explain the basics of picking prey. I wrap my arm around her shoulders and speak directly into her ear 'cause I know how much it affects her when I do that.
"What you want is the little blonde, pretty girl, self-absorbed, easily flattered. You just have to separate her from the pack and make your move" so essentially, Caroline, pre-vamp. Elena nods in agreement though I'm not convinced she took all of that in.
"Am I interrupting you?" yes, yes you are actually, "or is it maybe the other way around" I take my arm away from Elena's shoulders and straighten up, "no I was just saying how much I love witches" – "You and me both brother" well maybe he and Bonnie can get it on, with any luck this one won't cheat on her with a ghost.
Elena sends me a sly little smile and I gotta say I love vampire Elena. Don't get me wrong, I'd love Elena if she sprouted a second head, but vampire Elena is fucking sexy. And I know I might be playing with fire, and I know I'll probably be the one who gets burned but like I said, now that she's a vampire it feels like all the rules have changed and I wouldn't be, well, me, if I didn't keep fighting for her. I've come way too far to give up now.
When the lecture's over we follow the little blonde I picked out for Elena outside, "she's young and healthy, she'll heal up like a charm, just keep your eye on the ball okay?" I try and calm down her ever-increasing agitation.
"It's not a game Damon" well sure it is honey. Life's a game, if you know how to make it fun.
"Fine it's not a game; it's a high-stakes dangerous manoeuvre now just go. Just like we practiced, that's all you have to do" Elena runs up to the girl and gets on with her little speech while I stand guard.
"This isn't gonna hurt, please don't scream" she compels and stage one is complete. "Who's that?" what's she doing? "It's my little sister" oh god, brilliant. We are gonna be here all day.
"Get out of here, go back to class" Elena compels again. Technically that right there'd be stage three, only she skipped the eating part. "The hell are you doin'?" she saw the picture of the kid, yeah, I got that.
"Everybody is someone's uncle or father, or camp councillor or bible study teacher Elena you don't know these people, why do you care?" oh now I've gone and done it, foot, meet mouth.
"I care because I'm still me" yeah you're you, but you're a whole new you and you gotta figure out how to put the pieces of yourself together 'cause otherwise we're gonna be here all month and I love ya, but I don't know if I can stay in this place for that long.
"I still have the same feelings Damon. I'm sorry if that spoils your master plan to turn me into some super vampire" oh come now Elena nobody likes a bitch. I shake my head at her because honestly I don't know how to get through to her right now.
"What's goin' on?" – "Nothing, Elena's just educating me on the importance of feelings" Bonnie hands Elena a flyer for a frat-party, thank god.
"Oh nice, the answer to all of our problems. A frat party, douche-central, which is why you'll be eating very well tonight" Bonnie looks at me like she's ready to condemn me again, "So what should we go as, victims or killers?" I ask before she gets a chance.
I come up with the genius idea to dress like Jack the Ripper and his victims and we head for a costume shop where we pick our outfits. Maybe this day won't turn out so badly after all.
"Hey I'm Frankie, unassuming serial killer" the stoner kid I passed over earlier greets us when we enter the 'murder house' uninvited, thankfully 'cause otherwise that would have been ten kinds of awkward.
"I'm Jack and these are the two lovely ladies I just...Rippered" huh, I wonder if this is how my brother feels.
"Welcome to the Murder House. Bloody Mary's free until midnight" well thanks Frankie, don't mind if I do.
"Oh look, professor creepy" I point him out to Bonnie so she can hopefully go away and leave Elena and me alone. "I'm gonna go talk to him" well great "you do that" now, Elena's turn. "Come on, pick one" and please, don't take all night about it.
Elena spots a guy drop a roofie into a girl's drink, "I think I found one" – "Roofie guy? Nice choice, go get 'em" clever girl, found a way to be both moral and a vampire. I watch as she knocks into him and gets her flirt on, god damn but she's sexy, and when she walks away the guy follows instantly. Not like I don't know that feeling well.
I follow behind because the chances are I'll have to pull her off and when I walk into the room she's got her fangs in his neck. Oh, for the days when those fangs were in me.
"Now remember the idea is not to kill him" no, she's not stopping. Come on 'Lena, I know you can do it.
"Elena step away from the edge" I reach out to touch her but I don't make contact, "'Lena" that did the trick. She pulls away and compels the guy to leave and forget. Clever girl, I knew she could do it.
"Nice touch, how do you feel?" she wipes the blood from her mouth and her eyes are shining with that fire that I've missed so damn much.
"I feel good" well hell, so you should. She giggles and throws her arms around my neck, huh, this is new. May as well embrace it while I can.
"I want more" she whispers in a husky voice that does wonders for rapidly growing parts of my anatomy and nothing for my self-control. Yeah, I want more too honey.
When Elena disentangles herself from my arms she gives me a sexy little smile and grabs my hand to lead me through to the dance floor. I am kinda likin' 'take charge' Elena, she's fun. She dances around the room, biting, feeding, compelling as she goes and I always knew she would make a glorious vampire and I was right. 'Course I usually am so nothin' new there then.
When I finish feeding on a girl I turn to find Elena and if she isn't in the middle of the dance floor dancing her sexy little ass off. And she's happy. I stalk towards her like the predator I truly am and she rewards me with a smile before wrapping her arms around my neck.
Every touch. Every smile. Every drip of sweat that comes from her body is like an electric shock with a direct line to my dick and then she's running her hands on my chest and licking the blood off of her fingers and at the risk of sounding repetitive I think this girl has just ascended to a whole new planet of sexy.
And it's just not enough anymore. I want her, please let me take you.
And then, that horrified look comes back again. The one I saw for the first time the other day in the Grill. What's going on?
"Oh my god" I reach out and stroke her cheek in an attempt to soothe her and bring her back but she just repeats herself and leaves. Well, at least there were words this time. It's an improvement I suppose.
I turn around to watch her leave and find, Bonnie. Of fucking course. Bonnie and her condescending, judgy little attitude just itching to make Elena feel like fucking shit about herself because that's just what. she. does. Fuck!
And now I'm gonna have to deal with it. I knew this was a bad idea, coming with Bonnie I mean. I follow them outside and Elena looks like she's about to cry.
"I should be here with Stefan. I shouldn't be here with him" and, ouch. "I should be going through all of this with Stefan" well I guess the party's over then. I clear my throat to alert them to my presence and Bonnie spins around to glare at me. "Guessin' we should hit the road" get you back to Saint Stefan and all.
"You were supposed to help her and you let her get completely out of control" on the contrary, witch, I've never met a baby-vamp more in control than Elena Gilbert and I am beyond sick of her friends. Honestly, she needs better ones. Fact.
"She's not out of control, she was having fun" until you came along and ruined it all. "This isn't fun. She's acting like a different person" oh for fuck sake.
"She is a different person. She's a vampire, we're a predatory species; we enjoy the hunt, the feed and the kill and when the guilt gets too bad we switch off our humanity and we revel in it" I swing my head to look at Elena because she knows I'm right and I am so sick of this, and I am not one to sugar coat things either.
"Is that what you want? Her to be like you?" no, I want her to be who she is. And who she is a whole lot more like me than anyone would like to admit, anyone apart from me that is.
"She already is like me. And you know what makes me able to drink my fill, and leave someone breathing and not rip their head off like my brother? Is that I can revel in it. I can make it fun" I push past Bonnie and throw Elena a look that I hope conveys my disgust in her friends and not her and head for the car.
Journey home should be a whole pile 'a fun. At least my raging hard-on is completely gone. Fighting with a judgy little bitch'll do that to you, yeah, nobody likes a bitch. I fucking hate this place.
When we get home I walk Elena to her front door, "Well then, goodnight" and turn to leave.
"Damon" damn voice draws me back in every time. "I'm sorry" well that's unusual. "Things got a little heated at the party and I shouldn't have let that happen. It's just that I...I feel like" what?
"What do you feel Elena?" I have got to stop asking these questions!
"When you tell me what a vampire should be deep down, I believe you. I think that you're right and I...I hate that feeling because I don't wanna be" – "You don't wanna be like me" she doesn't respond but I'm pretty sure it's what she means, and then she shakes her head but the front door opens before she can speak.
I fucking hate this porch. Next time I'm staying in the car. It's Stefan, of course.
"Hey" – "What are you doing here?" Elena asks him, oh probably just waiting to make sure I didn't corrupt your precious, fragile heart with my tortured, twisted darkness.
"Just hangin' out with Jeremy, we had a couple things to talk about" lies, Stefan never hangs out with Jeremy alone, that's my thing. And the kid doesn't even like Stefan all that much. On account of him letting his sister die and all. Can't say I blame him really.
"Any news on the hunter?" I ask my brother. "No, no nothin' new" yeah well, it's been a day for that. "Well then today was a bust. She's all yours" I leave without a goodbye or a goodnight. I need to get off this damn porch and get a drink.
At least Elena learned to feed today, it's better than nothing. She sure does have the act of leavin' a guy high and dry down to perfection though.
Dear Diary,
Today Damon and Bonnie and me took a trip to Whitmore College so Damon could teach me how to feed. Bonnie was going anyway and I thought it would be, safest, if we tagged along with her because I don't think being alone with Damon is a great idea right now.
When I told Stefan, he asked why I couldn't go to Caroline for help and I told him that she doesn't understand how hard it is, and then I told him not to be jealous, that he's the one getting me through all of this and I wished it could be him.
When did I become such a little liar? I feel like I'm losing myself, I don't know who I am anymore.
Tonight we went to a frat-party and I got all caught up in the blood-lust and the, well to be truthful I just got all caught up in the Damon-lust. I practically threw myself on him and we were dancing, dirty, sexy, sweaty dancing and it was euphoric! God I want him, so badly, it's like, all the time!
And then Bonnie came and she looked horrified with me and I love her, she's been my best friend forever and I love her so much but sometimes she's just so damned judgy! She said that I was acting like this because of Damon, but it's not, it's not Damon at all it's me! That's what terrifies me, I have no idea who I am anymore and I hate it.
I don't know if I can do this, I don't know if I can survive like this. Part of me just wants to end it all, but then I think of Jeremy, I'm all that he has left so I know I need to find a way through this, no matter what it takes, I have to figure it out.
When I got home Stefan was waiting for me and I told him that I learned to feed, which is at least one good thing to come out of today and I told him that I'm feeling things I don't want to feel and I told him that I'm becoming someone I don't want to be but I didn't tell him that I got hot and heavy with his brother, again. More lies.
I've become my worst nightmare. I've become Katherine. I can't do this. I am just like Katherine. Something has to change.
Elena