14 Do You Take This Viking
"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?" Kylan shouted as Toothless and Skywolf set down outside the Bolthorn Castle stables "AND WHERE'S ASTRID?"
"She should be along soon" Hiccup answered "I hope."
"Wait a minute" Kylan just noticed the brides condition "what's wrong with Sigrid... AND WHY IS SHE TIED DOWN."
"Now don't panic; she had a little accident and by accident, I mean that she accidently got shot by an accidental arrow" Hiccup informed those nearby.
"Tis but a scratch" Sigrid grinned while still appearing tipsy.
"Is she drunk?" Kylan continued the interrogation.
"No... just drowsy; she lost a lot of blood last night."
"Oh this is just great; the King is already going out of his mind, but when he hears about this..."
"Don't you worry about Joric" Sigrid giggled "he'll be fine once we get on our honeymoon; grrrrowl."
"Oh no, she's passed out again" Hiccup sighed.
"You two" Kylan pointed to some guards "get Sigrid off that dragon and to the anteroom."
Hiccup sighed and shook his head as Kylan moved forward to cut the ropes that held Sigrids waist and feet; why was it that all the women he knew carried knives, even when they were dressed up for a wedding? If he believed that everything was going to be alright once the Dragon Riders got back to Bolthorn Castle, then Hiccup was in for a big disappointment, but he was pleased when Astrid and her dragons finally appeared ten minutes later.
"Hey Babe" Astrid smiled when she noticed Dianta was standing with him.
"I figured that with another dragon in the mix we could really do with some help keeping them all calm during the wedding" Hiccup informed her "so I asked Dianta if she minded missing the main ceremony.
"Good idea" Astrid nodded.
Hiccup seemed happy, but then his countenance changed somewhat "Wait a minute, what are you wearing?"
"What do you mean Hiccup? This is just the same old stuff... and that reminds me; I'd better go and get changed for the wedding."
"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE YOUNG LADY" Astrid was a little worried; Hiccup had never spoken to her like that before.
"Yes Hiccup; did you want something?" she smiled innocently.
"I thought I told you... not To Take ANY RISKS."
"What are you talking about... err... honey?"
"Don't you honey me" Hiccup fumed.
"Sweetie? Sugar plum perhaps?"
"I can't believe you went back to Baldcrest Hill for your shoulder armour; WHAT IF YOU'D GOTTEN CAUGHT? YOU WERE ALL ALONE BACK THERE!"
"I didn't take any BIG risks" she lied a bit "I was flying high above the hill when Ghost suddenly started swooping down on the soldiers, burning some trees and causing a lot of confusion so while they were all running around like headless chickens, I just swooped in and..." Hiccup grabbed the sides of Astrids head softly but firmly and stared deeply into her eyes.
"Don't... take... such... risks" he demanded before kissing her so passionately, that her legs soon became as weak as Sigrid's.
"Umm... okay" she grinned a minute later "no risk taking thereof."
"Make sure Dianta's okay with Ghost an then go and get ready" Hiccup ordered before kissing her forehead and stomping off in a huff.
"Gee I'll bet it's nice to be loved like that" Dianta grinned.
"Oh be still my beating heart" Astrid smiled "now then, let's see how Ghost reacts to you."
Dylan pondered the dragons as Astrid and Dianta strode by them; the first one they passed was Skywolf.
'The lady's dragon' Dylan thought as the girls walked on towards Toothless 'and the boys dragon.'
Stormfly dozed on the ground as her rider passed by 'The girl's dragon' Dylan nodded.
'And... the spider's dragon' he smirked as he leapt off of Astrid's headband and onto Ghosts nose.
If Astrid and Dianta could hear on the micro level, they would have been very surprised to hear Astrid's favourite Viking battle song and if one of them happened to have a magnifying glass, they may have noticed that a strange looking web was slowly taking shape between the Changewings eyestalks. It was far from a normal web and it bore a striking resemblance to the kind of vertical boat hull houses that one would find in a certain Viking village, located firmly on the meridian of misery.
After a few minutes of introductions, during which even Astrid was surprised at how calm and cooperative Ghost was acting, the time came for Dianta and four handpicked guards (who all happened to be from the town of Staggshund) to prepare the dragons for the ceremony while Astrid went to change her clothes. She only made it halfway through the stables when someone grabbed her wrist and pulled her into an empty stall. She instantly reacted like the warrior she was and prepared for a fight by twisting her arm free and stomping hard on her attackers foot.
"That doesn't hurt you know" Hiccup admitted although he was glad that she didn't get him on the right foot... which would have been the wrong foot.
"Hiccup! What are you doing?" Astrid started.
"I... I wanted to apologise" he took her hands in his "I shouldn't have shouted at you like that and..."
"Hey" Astrid decided to shut him up by kissing him again "we've been through this before Babe and I would have to be pretty stupid not to see that you were just worried about me."
"Yeah but... it's like... well... I trust you and all but... when I'm not there... and I don't know what's happening..."
"I understand" she kissed his cheek "and I forgive you this time... but just watch your step or I'm marrying Snotlout instead."
"Ha" Hiccup laughed as she walked off "I'd like to see that... err no... wait a minute... no I wouldn't."
Anyone who has ever tried to organise a wedding will know just how difficult and stressful it can be, but when the bride is a Viking warrior, the stress level definitely goes up a bit. When that same bride keeps threatening to pass out at any time, you can safely elevate the stress levels at least three smidgens, plus an extra tad and a half if there is a government official involved... and there was.
BANG BANG BANG!
"You've had plenty of time to get changed, now I demand that you let me back in."
Yolon DeGroot Esquire thumped his fist on the anteroom door a few more times until Kylan at last slid back the bolt and allowed him access. DeGroot had a very important task in Elydonia, or so he would always tell everyone.
"Without me, our heritage would be lost" was what he always told anyone who would listen.
He said it so much, that he really should have had it printed on a t-shirt, if it were not for the fact that nobody wore t-shirts in those days. Yolon DeGroot Esq. was the man in charge of all the items of great significance in Elydonia. If a certain sword had been used in a certain battle by a certain hero, then DeGroot had it, kept it safe, and knew all of its history from the time of its first creation (including the history of whoever created it) and the objects entire useful life, all the way through to how it came to be in the Royal Collection as well as any subsequent ceremonial use thereafter.
"OH MY GOD! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"
And that was why DeGroot was now standing in the doorway of the anteroom adjacent to the throne room in Bolthorn Castle on the event of the marriage of Sigrid the Strong, fairest of all the Viking Warrior Maidens of Berk (or so Joric thought every time he looked at her) to King Joric the Fifth of Bolthorn (the lucky bastard); for it was DeGroot who had provided the Wedding Dress from the afore mentioned Royal Collection.
Kylan only wanted to get Sigrid out of her armour, cleaned up a bit and into the dress before the wedding guests started asking for a toilet break because they had been waiting for several hours for the ceremony to begin, but DeGroot had gone on and on about how important the dress was and how careful they needed to be. His admonitions had included a very long and drawn out story of how the dress had been first worn by Princess Thingummy before being altered to fit Lady Whosit and then repaired after she had tripped over the train and ripped it. And if that wasn't boring enough, the whole story of how it had almost been destroyed in the Great Fire of Port Yoric was included before Kylan finally managed to get him out of the room and start on Sigrid (who had slept through most of the story anyway).
"We didn't mean to" Kylan apologised for the blood red stain on the sleeve of the dress "one of the pearls got caught in her bandage, and seriously; who makes a wedding dress with such long tight sleeves?"
"She must take it off immediately" DeGroot insisted "I must soak that sleeve before the blood dries."
"Oh no you don't" Kylan threatened "I've got a knife here and if you try to take this dress, it will end up with more blood on it... YOURS."
"THE KING WILL HEAR OF THIS" DeGroot did some threatening of his own before he stormed off.
"I kind of think he'll notice" Kylan shrugged as she turned to Sigrid "Oh will you please wake up?"
It had taken a lot of effort, but the time had finally come. Hiccup had also encountered a few delays while getting ready when King Joric had insisted on a full and detailed explanation as to why they were so late (he had expected them to return the previous night) and how his future wife had been almost killed.
"You'll have plenty of time to hear about all that later, but now I have to get going" Hiccup told him before hurrying off to the anteroom.
Joric just sighed and went to take his place in front of the throne after apologising again to the guests.
"You look amazing" Hiccup declared to the beautiful bridesmaid in her cream, sleeveless, high waisted satin dress.
"I still feel naked in this thing" Astrid replied but she always said that when she was not permitted to wear her shoulder armour or carry her battleaxe... and she had tried to get away with both before Kylan forbade her with threats of violence.
Sigrid was doing her very best to walk unaided but Hiccup and Astrid were not about to let go of her, just in case and even though Kylan was supposed to be following at a distance, she could not help moving closer with her hands out... just in case.
"I know you're supposed to walk behind us" Hiccup said to Astrid "but I think you'd better stay by her side... just in case."
"I think your right" Astrid agreed as Sigrid stumbled again "just in case."
Hiccup signalled the conductor to start when they all reached the main entrance to the throne room and a few seconds later, fifteen long brass horns began the Royal Elydonian Bridal Fanfare.
"Okay then... here we go" Sigrid straightened up and tripped over her own foot, but fortunately her fellow Dragon Riders were ready to support her as they began their journey down the aisle... only four and a half hours late.
To Sigrid, the floor of the throne room was more like the deck of a ship and with every step if felt as if it were pitching up in a different direction. It seemed very appropriate to her then, that the brides side of the room was almost entirely made up of the crew of the Noble Pigg; the ship that had first brought Sigrid and Astrid to Elydonia when they had been kidnapped by the former Prince Nainn. Sigrid scanned the crowd while Hiccup and Astrid did their best to keep her going straight. She could see Farg Ponomon, one of the men who had kept her under guard, sitting with his fellow sailor Toki, who could not stop crying with joy. Further forward were Gauk and Karin, Dianta's parents with Hak and several villagers from Staggshund. The King's brother, Godfred Thorn and Sigfus Jolfson his closest advisor, stood with King Joric as Best Man and Groomsman respectively and standing in front of the throne, ready to perform the ceremony, was none other than Lord Boron who would forever hold the record as the man who had the shortest ever reign as King in Elydonia, a position that he held for several days only, and also the only man ever to abdicate voluntarily.
Hiccup was supposed to simply give Sigrids hand to Joric before stepping back to the side, but instead he had to lean her against the King and move back with care... just in case.
I finished this chapter on the evening of the 12th of March and then went to bed. I awoke the next morning to the sad news about the death of my all time favourite author, Sir Terry Pratchett. I can highly recommend his books to anyone who loves a good fantasy story and a good laugh; honestly they are so funny. My favourite book of Terry's is 'Guards! Guards!' and it has dragons in it... well... tiny ones anyway. Only this great man could come up with a flat planet populated by people whose idea of a Space Program is to lower a wizard in a basket, from a crane over the edge of the world and a medieval computer with the words 'Anthill Inside' marked on it
He also came up with many memorable characters including Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson, who at six feet six inches in height, is the world's tallest dwarf and Susan the part time nanny, monster fighter and the granddaughter of Death himself, who incidentally rides a white horse named Binky (Binky is a living horse because when Death rode a skeletal steed, he kept having to stop and wire bits back on. Death also tried a fiery steed, but it repeatedly set his barn and his robe on fire). The Death of Rats also features in some of his books and is known as the Grim Squeaker.
R.I.P. Terry; you are already sadly missed.