"You can't go back to Purgatory, Dean," Cas said.

Dean sat on the edge of his bed in their motel room shaking his head. "Somebody's gotta do it, Cas," he said.

Cas pressed, "Let someone else do it."

"Nobody knows that place like we do," Dean said, "And somebody's gotta warn Benny about a weeping angel being dumped on his side of the court."

Cas started pacing across the wooden floor. "I don't like this plan," he said, "I could go."

"No," Dean said flatly.

Dean rested back on his bed and shut his eyes. Cas was never going to Purgatory again. Not if Dean had anything to say about it.

"Why not? I could find Benny, and I was there just as long as you were. Longer, actually," Cas protested.

"No," Dean repeated.

Cas said, "At least let me go with you."

Dean sat up and felt his eyes slide to black out of defense. He made sure not to look at Cas' grace. No need to go blind.

"I said 'no,' Cas," Dean snapped.

Cas fixed him with his piercing blue gaze. "What's going on?" he asked.

Dean hesitated as he got his eyes back to normal. He didn't want Cas in Purgatory, because he was afraid of losing him. If he lost the angel again, he didn't know what he'd do.

Dean swung his legs over the side of the bed so he was facing the opposite bed. "Cas, can we talk?" he asked.

Cas replied, "We are talking, Dean."

"No, I mean...can we talk about what you said earlier?" Dean clarified.

Cas lowered his eyes to the ground. He sat down on the other bed and sighed. "I'm sorry," he said, "I should never have just blurted that out. We have more important things going on than whatever feelings I have. I really shouldn't have said anything-"

Dean cut him off by leaning forward quickly and pressing their lips together in a soft kiss. It felt so good to hear Cas express his feelings; hearing him apologize for it just wasn't allowed. And Cas' lips felt incredible, so the silence and the kiss were quite the twofer. Meg was right, he did feel a bit cleaner. He wondered what the kiss would've felt like if he weren't a demon. For the first time since Dean woke up with Crowley standing over him and the First Blade in his hand, Dean started to consider letting Sam turn him human.

When Dean pulled away, Cas stared at him in total shock. Dean felt his pulse racing. Was that okay? Should he have asked first?

"Dean, I...umm...I'm confused," Cas said.

"I should've told you sooner," Dean said, "But the people I love always end up dead or worse. I couldn't take that chance. Not with you."

"I don't know what to say," Cas said.

"Say you'll drop it with the Purgatory thing," Dean said.

"Dean."

"I mean it. Drop it. I can't handle the thought of you back in there."

"How do you think I feel?" Cas snapped.

"You didn't have to leave me in there," Dean said flatly, "I had nightmares for months of losing you at the portal. I cannot go through that again."

Cas said quietly, "I'm sorry, Dean."

"It's okay. Just stay here, okay? Please?" Dean said.

Cas sighed, "Okay. But you'd better come back."

"I will," Dean promised.

He laid back on the bed and shut his eyes. Dean didn't need sleep in his demonic state, but if he tried hard enough, he could imagine he felt tired.

"What if it doesn't work? What if the angel sends you back in time instead?" Cas asked.

Dean sighed and sat back up. Clearly their conversation wasn't over. "I can teleport now, Cas. You don't need to worry about it," he said.

Cas shook his head, "Demons can't time travel, Dean. I could probably retrieve you, though."

"And use up the rest of your grace? No, forget it."

"Dean-"

"No. You saw what rescuing Sherlock did to Gabriel. You'd burn out your grace, and you'd die. Simple as that."

"So, what are we supposed to do if you get sent back?" Cas asked.

Dean said, "Gabriel could pick me up. He clearly wasn't affected by the fall. And if he can't, the Doctor kind of has a time machine. It'll be fine, Cas." Dean laid back in bed and shifted the pillow under his head for some extra comfort.

Cas tilted his head at Dean. "Do you actually require sleep?" he asked.

Dean sighed, "No. And it's annoying as hell. I like sleep, but I'm never tired. I like food, but I'm never hungry. It's very irritating."

"It would seem that being human is something difficult for you to let go of," Cas said.

"We're not talking about curing me again, Cas," Dean warned. Though it would be nice to experience kissing Cas as a human, being a demon still gave him a serious edge, one that he wasn't quite willing to let go of or discuss.

Cas shrugged. "I wasn't talking about that. I just find it interesting," he said, "I can't stand sleeping. It feels so unnatural, but I need it. And food...I liked food as a human, I hated food as a full fledged angel, but now, it all just tastes like its molecular structure even if I wanted it to have taste. It's interesting that your demonic state hasn't changed how you feel about human things."

Dean rolled over to face Cas. "You need to sleep?" he asked.

Cas nodded, "An angel's grace makes sleep unnecessary. My grace, lacking as it is, can't sustain me."

Dean sighed and knew he had to ask the important question. He just didn't know what answer he wanted.

"Cas," Dean said, looking at the fallen angel, "Are we really going to do this?"

"Do what?" Cas asked.

Dean sat up and took in Cas' confused expression. He really didn't want to say the words.

"Are we actually gonna be in a relationship?" Dean asked.

Cas smiled at Dean, making Dean mirror the expression almost involuntarily.

"I see no reason why not," Cas said.

"Well, dating me is dangerous for one thing," Dean said, "For another, I'm awful to be around. I know that. And there's the fact that we'd have to tell Sam."

Cas grinned and said, "I still see no reason why not."

"So, we're going to do this? Even though, with our lifestyle, we'll probably end up dead because of it?" Dean asked.

Cas said, "Yes."

Dean smiled and laid back. They were being stupid. Attachments were always a bad thing to have in their lives, but Dean would be lying if he said he wasn't nonsensically happy about all of this.

"Come here," Dean said, beckoning Cas over to his bed.

Slowly, Cas curled up next to Dean. Dean wrapped his arm around Cas and pulled him closer.

"Maybe this will help sleeping not suck so bad," Dean said.

Cas rested his head on Dean's chest and nodded.

Dean couldn't believe he was cuddling with Castiel.

"So, are you going to tell Sam about us, or do I have to do it?" Dean asked.

Cas shrugged, "I don't think Sam will mind, so I don't see why it'll be a big deal to tell him." Dean rolled over to be face to face with Cas, but he made sure his arm stayed under his new boyfriend.

"You don't think Sam will mind?" Dean asked, "He may not have a problem with it, but he will freak."

"I think Sam, given how he's been around Gabriel lately, will understand," Cas said.

"Sam and Gabriel? Really?" Dean asked.

He could see it, and Sam was spending much more time with Gabriel and the Doctor than he was with Dean and Cas, but he also chalked that up to Sam being uncomfortable with Dean being a demon.

"Yes. I think there may be something between them. I know for sure that Gabriel is far too attached to Sam," Cas said.

"What?" Dean asked.

Cas said quietly, "I know you don't quite remember it, but when Gabriel killed you all those times, he was trying to teach Sam a lesson. He was trying to impress the point that Sam can't always save you. While I strongly disapprove of his methods, Gabriel was far too invested in Sam's ability to get by without you, and you hadn't even broken the first seal yet. Like I said, he's too attached."

Dean tried to process this without having the urge to kill Gabriel. Again. That bastard.

"I thought he did that to make sure I went to hell and broke the seal without Sam interfering so the apocalypse could get on its way, and he could go back to his family," Dean said.

Cas nodded, "That may very well be, but have you seen how Gabriel looks at your brother?"

Dean sighed in mock frustration. He really tried not to notice that sort of thing.

"So, you're saying Sam will probably be okay with us dating," Dean said.

Cas nodded and released a small yawn.

"You should get some sleep," Dean said. He wished he could get some damn sleep. Sometimes being a demon really sucked.

Cas rolled over in Dean's arms and said a quiet, "Goodnight, Dean."

"Night, Cas," Dean replied.

He shut his eyes and held Cas closer to him. He was spooning with a fallen angel. Dean tried not to feel uncomfortable about that. It was Cas, though, and it felt good to have him in his arms.

Maybe, even if he couldn't sleep, holding Cas and watching over him would make the night feel less like demonic insomnia and more like home.