31 Sometimes Panic Just Isn't Enough

If only watches had been invented back on first century Berk, Astrid would be looking at hers now to see how long Victor had been gone. Some people might suggest that she could have looked at the time on the smartphone Hiccup didn't pull out a tear in space-time in the last chapter, but he was many miles away so she couldn't look at what he didn't have...

...my head hurts.

"Come on Astrid; tell me how clever I am" Victor demanded as he returned to where rider and dragon were hidden.

"Where did you get that?" Astrid smiled broadly as she caught the jacket Victor threw to her.

"Oh you're gonna love this" Victor explained "I found out that Emperor Scias is dead and Borges is telling everyone that King Joric murdered him."

"I dare say it was probably Borges that did the killing" Astrid huffed.

"And I think you're right but whoever did kill Scias, did it in a warehouse near to where the ships blew up. So I went and had a quick look round and... voila; a jacket with the Kings seal on it."

Astrid let Stormfly smell the jacket and the three started to move back around to the north side of the naval yard, checking every place where anyone had fled into the forest as they went.

"I know you're gonna think I've gone a little potty in the head, but I do believe I just heard something that sounded like the roar of a Monstrous Nightmare."

"And I do believe you're right Gobber" Stoick agreed.

"Really truly?" Gobber's face brightened.

"Yes" Stoick declared "I think you've gone potty in the head."

"It's people like you, my dear Chief, who cause unrest in the masses."

Inside the palace, Nobles, Aids and Servants still back away in fear as twenty fake soldiers led five genuine dragons towards the central courtyard of the Imperial Palace.

"I think they look sufficiently nervous for our present requirements" Fishlegs whispered to Hiccup.

"That they do" Hiccup agreed as he reached down to loosen a very import strap "In five everyone; four... three... two..."

In a simultaneous set of actions, the Dragon Riders went to work; Ruffnut pulled back on her Zipplebacks lead to give Snotlout some room while Fishlegs got the two Gronckles salivating with a few chunks of choice granite.

"SIT DOWN YOU STUPID DRAGON!" Snotlout shouted.

His blunt order had the exact effect on Hookfang that everyone expected; the dragon did not sit down, but instead opened its mouth wide and half swallowed Snotlout. Many of the people in the palace screamed and ran as Snotlouts legs dangled out of the dragon's mouth.

"Good boy Hookfang" the muffled voice of Snotlout declared.

While all eyes watched in horror as the young man was apparently eaten by the beast, Hiccup slipped off his leg and hid it underneath the New Loren soldier's tunic he wore; then Fishlegs tossed the lumps of granite stone in opposite directions. Meatlug galloped quickly to the left while the Gronckle Fishlegs had borrowed from Olaf hovered off to the right to retrieve the treat while people everywhere ran for their lives in all directions.

"AAARRGH... MY LEG, MY LEG!" Hiccup drove the panic home as he fell to the floor, holding his stump and writhing around in mock pain while Toothless crouched and tensed his body, roaring so loudly that dust and plaster began drifting down from the ceiling.

"GET OUT" the Elydonians in soldiers garb cried out to anyone still nearby, even though everyone was already running in panic "GET OUT BEFORE THEY KILL YOU ALL!"

A few of Hiccups allies stood by the massive front doors of the palace moving people outside while some of the others opened the big windows on the sides of the entry hall to shepherd more out that way.

"KEEP EVERYONE OUTSIDE TILL WE'VE GOT THESE DRAGONS BACK UNDER CONTROL" the great Elydonian actor and part time sailor called out to the palace guards before he slammed the doors shut.

"That should buy us ten to twenty minutes" Hiccup declared as he refitted his leg.

"Well that was a waste of time" Victor sighed as he, Astrid and Stormfly arrived at the top of a low cliff on the northern side of the New Loran docks.

"Well if Joric didn't escape into the surrounding countryside" Astrid pondered "then he's either been recaptured..."

"No word about that buzzing around the port" Victor noted.

"Or he's still hiding somewhere down there. If I wanted to avoid capture" Astrid continued her pondering "then where would I go?"

"Actually the question is, where would a King go?" Victor pointed out.

"No... we're both wrong" Astrid realised "When I first met Joric he wasn't a King, he was a Ship's Captain and I think he may have gone where he still feels more comfortable."

Victor noticed that Astrid was pointing to where some small two man row boats were stacked on the edge of the northern side of the dock.

"Do you seriously think he would try to get all the way back to Elydonia in one of those?"

"He's not trying to get back home" Astrid smiled "just away from here; come on Victor.

The young boy had to hurry lest he lose his lift, as Astrid leaped into her saddle once more.

"COME BACK HERE, YOU BAD DRAGON!" Snotlout cried out as he pursued Hookfang up the fifth flight of stairs.

While most people in the palace had fled, there were still some on the upper levels, but fortunately for Snotlout almost none of them were guards. So when the Monstrous Nightmare came rushing towards them, the Nobles and servants simply ran for their lives and hid in the nearest lockable room. When he did come across someone with a spear or sword, Snotlout just shouted at them to protect the Nobles, and because he was dressed in a soldier's uniform, they quickly obeyed (although it was true that the guards were just happy to be given an easy task, and were not ordered to tackle the smouldering dragon).

"I can't believe that worked so well" Snotlout said to himself as he reached the flat palace roof and made for the base of the towers.

It was quite easy for him to find the one with Tuffnut and his friends in it, as it was the only one with its conical roof demolished by a Changewing.

"Hookfang; stay here and guard the roof" Snotlout ordered his dragon as he unlocked the door at the tower base and hurried up the internal stairs.

The diversion attack would be starting any minute (if it hadn't already), so Snotlout knew he had better hurry and retrieve Tuffnut and his friends before returning to the base of the tower; Hiccup and the prisoners were counting on him to hold the roof for the eventual evacuation. His ego swelled with pride, just like it always did when he was doing an important task (not that it needed to be inflated any further), when a large lump of stone glanced off of his shiny soldiers helmet with a loud clang.

"OWW! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOIN' UP THERE?"

"Snotlout... is that you?" Tuffnuts voice echoed down the tower "What are you doing in that outfit?"

"Trying to tell you that it's time to go; now stop trying to kill me and come on."

Tuffnut and the Elydonian sailors cheered as they started down the steps; it had been very boring waiting for something to happen, but if they had bothered to keep an eye out in the streets below and not just in the tower, they may have noticed the dragons being led inside. There was only one member of their little band who was not happy to see everyone rushing off, and that was Dylan.

"What the..." he said to himself as they all disappeared "Snotlout you slimy little... WHERE'S MY DRAGON?!"

"Now that looks promising" Astrid declared as she pointed to a small sandy beach just over a mile north of the New Loren Naval Dock.

A clear line in the sand led from the water's edge to a forest, and as soon as Stormfly had touched down Astrid and Victor followed it to find a small rowboat hidden under some tree branches.

"Stormfly; seek" Astrid ordered; the extremely alert dragon sniffed at the boat and instantly recognised a slightly more salty version of the aroma on the jacket.

The young Viking girl and her junior spy accomplice, were soon chasing after Stormfly as she began crashing her way through the trees with single minded determination.

The jailer in charge of the outer section of the dungeon opened the tiny hatch in the heavy prison door and looked out at the soldiers standing before him.

"Wadda ya want?" he asked bluntly

"We've got another one of those Dragon Riders" the soldier informed him "We just want to throw him in with the others."

The jailer stood on his toes so he could look down and see Fishlegs the prisoner.

"What's the password?" the he demanded.

"No it isn't" declared the soldier.

"Umm... huh?" the jailer scratched his head.

"The password... it isn't What"

"I don't understand" the jailer was easily confused.

"You said the password was 'What' and I'm telling you, it isn't" the soldier declared "so if you don't know what the password really is, then you must be an enemy agent."

The jailer began to panic as the small group of soldiers all drew their swords and stared at him with suspicion in their eyes.

"I KNOW THE PASSWORD" he blurted out in fear of his life, even though he was behind a locked door.

"Then what is it?" the soldier sneered.

"PANSY; IT'S PANSY!"

"That's better" the soldier nodded as he and his men put away their weapons "Now open this door."

"Y-YES SIR" the panicking continued as the jailer fumbled with his keys.

As soon as the door finally swung open, the soldiers all filed in with Fishlegs in the middle.

"I don't want to hear anything about you making up strange and comical passwords ever again" the soldier ordered as he got right up in the jailers face.

"N-no sir... it will n-never happen again sir."

"Good; two of my men will guard the door here while you take the rest of us down to the other Dragon Riders and their friends."

"Right away sir" the jailer was rapidly developing a distinct dislike for the military.

"I'll stay here and keep a lookout" one of the fake soldiers whispered to his partner as the jailer lead the others deeper into the dungeon "while you go and tell Hiccup that we're in."

Meanwhile at the front entrance to the palace, an important message had just arrived from the city walls.

"Hello?" Ruffnut opened the huge door a little and poked her head out in response to the pounding of the guards outside "What do you want?"

"A report has just come in that there are men on dragons flying around outside and firing on the city walls; THEY'RE ATTACKING US."

"Well what do you want me to do about it?" she asked as her soldier's helmet slipped a little to the side.

"Haven't you got those dragons under control yet?" the guard inquired "We need to find the members of the senate, most of who are still inside, and receive their orders."

"Err... bad idea... um, still very dangerous in here... everyone is hiding from the wild dragons... running about upstairs and downstairs and err... in milady's chamber."

"What are you talking about?" the guard was starting to lose his temper with this short and quite feminine looking soldier "I can see the big two headed dragon is trying to hide behind the door, and the black one is curled up over there with those other guards and... hang on a second... didn't that runty soldier get his leg bitten off before?"

"Err... yes... yes, but um... it got better."

Ruffnut could see that she had totally lost her advantage so she signalled her dragon to puff a little green gas in the guards face and light it up. The guard and his companion must have been thrown back over fifteen feet by the small explosion and they fell to the ground with cacophony of clanks and clatters near the top of the outer courtyard.

"It was a boring conversation anyhow" Ruffnut declared as she slammed the door shut "HICCUP; WE'RE ABOUT TO HAVE COMPANY!"

I hereby declare chapter 39 to be the weirdest thing I've ever written. I can hardly wait to find out what everyone thinks of it... oh, and I hope you Star Wars fans enjoyed the little reference at the end of this chapter (I should have put "Aren't you a little short for an Imperial Soldier?" in there somewhere).