An hour after arriving, Adam sat in the dungeon with demonic handcuffs keeping him contained, Dean prepared some African dream root after hearing that Cas' brain activity hadn't changed, Gabriel was back on his feet, and Sherlock had no idea what he was doing or why he was there. But if Gabriel was right about his being a fallen angel, Sherlock wanted to be more comfortable with this world that he was apparently a part of.
Sam grabbed a pack of syringes and asked Dean, "You sure you'll be alright here without us?"
Dean swished the dream root mixture around in a glass. "Yeah, I'll be fine. I need to help Cas, but somebody's gotta help that kid. You might want to take Benny with you in case Adam becomes a problem," he said.
"I'd like to help cure Adam," Sherlock said.
Sam asked, "You sure?"
Sherlock nodded.
Sam said, "Group field trip it is." He handed Sherlock the syringes and said to Dean, "Be careful. I don't want to have to trip on dream root to save your ass later."
"Duly noted," Dean said, "Well, bottom's up." He downed the disgusting looking tincture and promptly collapsed on the bed next to Cas.
"Is that how that always works?" Sherlock asked.
Sam nodded and said, "Yeah, it's definitely weird, but you get used to it."
Sam turned to the Doctor and asked, "You'll watch over them, won't you?"
"Of course. If Gabriel can't make the flight, tell River, and she'll take you."
"I will, will I?" River said with mock incredulity.
Sherlock found it safest to follow Sam down the hall to where Gabriel was standing watch over Adam.
"We doing this?" Gabriel asked.
"Yes," Sherlock said.
Gabriel chuckled, "You, too, huh?"
When Sherlock entered the room, John sat across from Adam.
"What are you doing here?" Sherlock asked.
"I'm coming with," John said, meeting Sherlock's gaze, "What are you doing here?"
"I'm helping to cure Adam," Sherlock said, "I would think you'd be getting back to Mary."
"She called to say she's alright and that Mrs. Hudson is taking good care of her. She said staying out with you was probably a good idea so I don't smother her," John said.
If Mary knew what John had told Sherlock, he doubted she would've suggested that.
"You can't cure me," Adam said quietly.
"Oh, really?" Sam asked, entering the room fully, "Why's that?"
Adam glared at Sam as he said, "Because I was down there too long. The fact that I'm a demon is the only reason I'm not dead."
Sam grinned, clearly not believing him.
"I'd need injections of angel blood to even have a chance at being human again, but the last I checked, that's not what you cure a demon with," Adam said.
"So, you're an expert now, huh?" Sam asked.
Adam said, "I learned a thing or two in the cage."
"You need my blood," Sherlock interrupted.
"What?" Sam and Adam asked in unison.
Gabriel laughed and said to Sherlock, "You're a quick thinker. I like that."
"You need angel blood but human blood," Sherlock said, "So, logically, you would need a human angel."
Sam looked at Sherlock curiously and asked, "Are you sure you want to give your blood for this?"
Sherlock nodded. It was better than doing nothing.
Gabriel clapped a hand on Sherlock's shoulder and transported him to an empty church. One by one, Gabriel brought the rest of them until John, Sam, Benny, Adam, Sherlock, and Gabriel all stood in front of several disused pews.
Benny and Gabriel sat Adam down on a pew and checked his restraints. John glanced at Sherlock, and there were so many unspoken things in that look that Sherlock practically threw himself towards Sam Winchester. Anything John needed to talk about needed to wait.
"What do you need me to do?" Sherlock asked Sam.
Sam said, "You know, I can do the blood thing if you want. It might take more blood, but if you're not comfortable-"
"No, it's fine. I want to help. And it's not healthy to lose so much blood. You cured a demon not very long ago. You should give your blood a chance to replenish," Sherlock said.
"You have a point," Sam said, "Well, the first thing you'll need to do is confess."
"Confess. Like going to confession?" Sherlock asked. He'd never given a confession. Not a real one anyway.
"Yeah, just confess your sins," Sam said, "It's just to unburden yourself so your blood is purer. Don't worry too much about it."
Sherlock tried not to over think it, but what counted as a sin anyway? Wasn't that something angels should know?
Sherlock walked over to the confessional and closed the door. It was darker than he was expecting.
"I have no idea what I'm doing," Sherlock muttered to himself. He felt absolutely ridiculous.
"I never believed in God," Sherlock said aloud, "But if statues move, and I'm an angel, I suppose anything's possible." He took a deep breath and tried peering into the listening side of the confessional. The last thing he needed was someone hearing this train wreck of a confession.
"Sins. Hmm. Well, I lie a lot. I've lied, and deceived, and manipulated, and I did kill Magnussen, but I did it to get justice, so I'm not sure if that counts." He paused and looked around the dark closet sized booth. He was really quite bad at this. But people were waiting for him. Sherlock needed to at least try to take this seriously.
"I suppose I could just list regrets, right? I regret not having a better relationship with Mycroft. Well, it's not like he's the easiest person to have as a brother, so I don't exactly consider that one my fault or anything. Still, regret," he said.
Sherlock knew, though, his biggest regret. It smacked him in the face on a near constant basis. But saying it out loud was something he'd never done before. "I regret me," he said softly.
The words didn't bring about any catastrophic change. No debris came falling from the sky to wipe him from existence. Nothing changed from the confession. But if there was a God listening, Sherlock supposed he should elaborate.
"I regret myself. I'm always in the way. I was in the way of this whole case, I'm in the way of my best friend's happiness, I'm sure Mrs. Hudson wouldn't mind if the upstairs flat was vacant. I wouldn't be at all surprised if I fell from Heaven because I was in the way up there, too," he said, "I'm even in the way of criminals in London, and that is the only good thing that has ever come of my being completely unwanted and out of place. Maybe if my blood works to cure Adam, I'll have an idea of why I exist at all, but my biggest regret has been and always will be me." The only time he'd ever remotely felt worth while was when he was working with John, but he was in the way again because of that.
Still, saying it all aloud did make him feel lighter in a way.
Before he left the confessional another thought popped into his mind. "Oh," he said, "And I definitely regret ever finding that video of Mrs. Hudson dancing on youtube. That was...an unfortunate discovery."
As he stepped back out into the church, John gave him a sideways glance. For a moment, Sherlock thought John may have overheard him, but he didn't get long to worry about it. Sam and Adam were clearly about to come to blows.
"I don't get why you're so hostile with us. We got you out of the cage. A little gratitude or at least respect would be nice," Sam snapped.
"You don't get it, do you?" Adam spat, "You put me there. You don't get points for saving me from a situation you put me in."
Benny put a hand on Sam's shoulder to move him away from Adam. He said, "The way I hear it, the angels forced you to be Michael's vessel. Yeah, you ended up in the hole, but that was stop the apocalypse. Sam was never supposed to get out and neither were you. It would start the end of the world all over again to open the cage."
"Then what the hell did he do?" Adam asked flatly, gesturing to Gabriel.
Gabriel said quickly, "I risked the apocalypse. It was stupid. It was a stupid plan, though I never said Dean was particularly smart."
"Where is Dean?" Adam asked with an edge to his words.
Sam said, "He's trying to figure out what's going on with Cas."
Adam laughed loudly, tilting his head back as his eyes flicked to black.
"What?" Sherlock asked.
Adam focused his dark gaze on Sherlock and said, "There's no fixing Castiel. It's hilarious that Dean would even try."
"What's wrong with Cas?" Sam asked.
Adam said, "Cas didn't fair any better than I did in the hole, but those angels were not happy that he tried to get you out of there. After Death got your soul out, Lucifer and Michael took out their frustration on Cas. It wasn't pretty. After he took as much as he could, Cas shut himself down. He's basically brain dead. What you saved from the cage is the shell of an angel and a pissed off demon. Are you happy now?"
Benny said quickly, "Son, if you want to go back to hell, I am more than happy to grant your wish. But if you want to stay here and keep those pretty teeth in your head, I'd change that attitude quick, you understand me?"
Adam, in a stroke of intelligence, met Benny's threatening gaze and stayed silent.
Sherlock tied the rubber tourniquet around his bicep, grabbed a syringe, and drew blood from his arm.
"It scares me that you're so good at that," John said.
Sherlock knew this was a reference to his former drug use, so he opted to ignore the comment. He bent his elbow to stem the blood flow and gave the full syringe of blood to Sam.
Sam took a deep breath and asked Adam, "Are you ready?"
Adam gritted his teeth but nodded reluctantly.
Sam, with surprising gentleness, pushed the needle into Adam's neck and pressed the plunger.
"Now, we wait an hour and do it again," Sam said.
Sherlock walked over to a dusty pew and sat down. He really wasn't a fan of waiting.
Over two hours later, they had completed the third injection and were waiting for Sam's timer to tell them to do the fourth. Sherlock sat on the same dusty pew, holding his arm up with his elbow bent. He wasn't feeling any effects of blood loss even though he was drawing 10cc's of blood at a time. He'd never really had an issue with wooziness from losing blood, but it felt unnatural now that he knew what he was.
John scooted into the pew next to Sherlock and asked, "How are you doing?"
"That's a complicated question, John," Sherlock said.
John faced Sherlock and said, "Seriously, Sherlock. Are you okay?"
"Not really," Sherlock said, "But there's not much to be done about that."
"What's going on?"
John asked. His friend was clearly concerned, but Sherlock just wanted to fix Adam and leave.
"I'm not very good at this whole fallen angel business," Sherlock said, "And I feel horrible for coming between you and Mary-"
"Sherlock, that's not-"
"I know you're staying with her, but I still feel responsible for causing strain on your relationship."
"You shouldn't feel bad for that. I told you how I felt, not the other way around. If any strain or whatever was put on my relationship with my wife, I put it there."
"I didn't have to reciprocate. I could've made it easier-"
"I don't regret telling you," John said.
Sherlock paused for a moment. "But you're still staying with Mary," he said.
John sighed and said, "I can't just leave her. I love her. It's complicated."
"Are you going to tell her how you feel about me?" Sherlock asked hesitantly. Honestly, he was just curious. He wasn't trying to cause problems or pressure John. He wasn't even sure if he wanted Mary to know. It would probably be easier for John if she didn't. But she was John's wife. She should know.
"I don't know," John said, "I do suppose you'll be impossible to live with if I don't tell her, though."
"Well, you won't be living with me, so it shouldn't be a problem for you either way," Sherlock said.
"Sherlock-" John started.
Sam called over, "Sherlock, it's time for round four. You ready?"
Sherlock gladly got up, grabbed a syringe, and gave Adam the fourth injection.
"That's really starting to sting," Adam said.
Sam seemed like he was on the verge of saying something, but Gabriel said, "Here. Give me your hand."
Adam looked at Gabriel skeptically but slowly let the archangel take his hand. With a small burst of light from Gabriel's hands, Adam gasped.
"What the hell did you do?" Adam asked.
Gabriel grinned and said, "I took away your pain. Seriously, for the next twenty four hours, don't hurt yourself. You won't be able to feel it."
Adam cracked his neck and seemed pleasantly surprised. "Thanks," he said softly. Gabriel patted Adam on the shoulder and plopped next to Sam on a pew.
Sherlock looked over at John, but he was in no hurry to continue that conversation. Instead, he sat away from the others in a far pew and tried to relax.
Five injections in, Sherlock's arm was a bit sore, but otherwise, he seemed to be fine. John had thankfully taken Sherlock's standoffish behavior as a sign that he wanted space.
Benny, however, took the opportunity to come and talk to Sherlock. The man's presence wasn't exactly unwanted but definitely unexpected.
"So," Benny said, sitting down next to Sherlock, "For a guy who volunteered to do this, you seem like you really don't wanna be here."
Sherlock stayed silent. He didn't know Benny nearly well enough to respond to something like that.
"Tell me if I'm wrong, but you seem like you didn't know about being a fallen angel till recently. I might be completely nuts, but if that's what's eating at you, I get it," Benny said.
After a moment, Sherlock asked, "You 'get it'?"
"I'm a bit of an expert on being not quite human," Benny said, "You just gotta remember that what you are doesn't define who you are."
"What are you talking about?" Sherlock asked.
Benny said with a grin, "I see Dean hasn't been talking about me." He pulled back his lips, exposing his gums, and extended several sharp fangs.
Sherlock scooted back, trying not to show just how confused he was.
Benny retracted his fangs and laughed, "It's okay. I don't bite. That's what I'm trying to say. I'm a vampire, but that's not who I am as a person. You're a fallen angel, but that doesn't mean you have to get your grace back and start playing a harp up by the pearly gates. You can do whatever you want. It's your life. If you want to go get your halo, you can, but if not, you can just go back to your life. You'll just know a little bit more about yourself is all."
Sherlock contemplated his words. While it didn't help with the situation with John and Mary, which weighed most heavily on his mind, it did help to hear those words. He wasn't sure what he wanted to do. Maybe he could get his grace back, or at least, he could try to get his memories back. But he didn't have to do anything because he was an angel. He didn't have to get acquainted with this supernatural world just because he used to be part of it. Benny was right, and it helped greatly.
"Thank you, Benny," Sherlock said.
Benny stood up and said, "Don't mention it, brother."
Twenty minutes later, Sherlock gave Adam the sixth injection. It seemed to be working since Adam had mellowed considerably, but since Gabriel numbed Adam's pain, it was hard to tell what progress they were really making.
On the second to last injection, Adam's emotions let them know they were definitely getting somewhere.
As the needle left Adam's neck, the young demon asked, "Why are you even bothering to cure me?"
Sam said, "It was my fault you were in there in the first place. Fixing past mistakes, you know?"
"Yeah, I guess that makes sense," Adam said, "But what am I supposed to do when I'm human? I have no family, my mom's still in Heaven, and I have nowhere to go."
Gabriel said, "You could do whatever you want. You could go back to school, travel, get a new lease on life. Whatever you want to do."
Adam struggled not to cry and said, "I don't want to be alone anymore."
Sam said, "Well, you don't have to be alone. The world's full of people. But if you want people who will understand what you've been through, there's more than enough room at the bunker. You've got family if you want us."
"You'd let me live with you guys?" Adam asked.
"Sure we would. You're family," Sam said, "And it's certainly never boring around there."
Sherlock started to wonder if they'd let him stay at the bunker. He'd miss Baker street, but he'd probably be able to do some good with the Winchesters.
"No kidding," Gabriel said, "With the shit you boys get into, boredom might feel like a vacation if it ever happened."
Sam stared at Gabriel and turned to John, saying, "Does it say in the books how long he's not been dead?"
John shook his head and said, "I was as shocked as you were when he showed up."
Sam turned back to Gabriel and asked, "How long have you been watching us, Gabriel? Seriously?"
"Would you get mad if I said I always keep tabs on you two?" Gabriel asked impishly.
"Gabriel. Straight answer. Please," Sam said.
"Straight answer? Fine," Gabriel said, "Well, I was watching when you were born since you guys were supposed to end the world. Got curious about the hunting thing, so I tested you at that one college. I had to lay low after Lucifer killed my double, so I guess there were a couple days in there that I took a break, but really, I've been watching you guys your whole lives."
Sam gaped at Gabriel.
"See, that look. That look right there. That's why I didn't want to tell you. Just think of me as a guardian angel so it doesn't seem so creepy, okay?" Gabriel tried.
Sherlock walked away as Sam continued interrogating Gabriel. He sat on a pew and took a deep breath. Maybe he could get his grace back and watch over John that way. It would ease the situation with Mary, but he'd probably be in Heaven more. That could leave a lot of people vulnerable in London. If he didn't have such a high client base, maybe he could consider really being an angel, but there were crimes to solve and puzzles to sort out.
By the time they gave Adam the last injection of Sherlock's blood, the consulting detective was much more at ease with the idea of staying human. Adam's black eyes retracted to reveal his hazel. He coughed and gasped and asked Sam, "What happened to you when you got your soul back?"
Sam said, "It wasn't pretty. I nearly died."
Adam closed his eyes. "That's what I thought," he said, "Am I going to die?"
Gabriel said, "Not unless you want to. If you go catatonic from hell exposure, I can put blocks in your brain to help you. Whatever happens, we'll figure it out, okay?"
Adam looked at the archangel and said sincerely but weakly, "Thank you."
"Did it work?" Sherlock asked.
Adam focused for a moment and said, "I think so. I can't flick my eyes or smoke out. I feel sort of cemented. God, it's dizzying."
Sam took off the now useless demon handcuffs and pocketed them.
Gabriel snapped his fingers, and they all were back in the bunker.
Adam collapsed, not being able to handle his own weight. Sherlock, standing nearest to him, caught him under his arms.
They helped Adam get into a bed in one of the bedrooms.
Before anyone could leave the room to let Adam rest, the former demon said, "Sam, I'm sorry."
Sam looked at Adam, confused, and asked, "For what?"
"I should've listened to you and not trusted the angels. I should've fought harder against Michael. I'm sorry I let them find me. None of this would've happen if I'd just listened to my brothers," Adam said.
Sam said softly, "Well, it's over now. Rest up, and we'll take care of you. I'm gonna check on Dean, but I'll be back, okay?"
Benny said, "I'll keep an eye on the kid." Adam closed his exhausted eyes as Sam went to check on Dean.
Sherlock didn't know what happened to someone if they took dream root for a person who was a shell like Adam had said, but it definitely seemed like cause to worry.
Instead of following Sam, Sherlock stayed with Adam. He felt good knowing his blood had been able to give Adam his untwisted soul back. He knew if he stayed with the Winchesters or at least kept himself involved in the supernatural world that he'd be able to help more people like this. But Sherlock knew where he belonged, and that was Baker street. The situation might be complicated, but it was the right thing to do. He was needed there. And it felt so good to know that.