Chapter 2

The Finest Tea in All of Magus

The Magus Sector turned out to be eerily quiet… When Talwyn said that it was Intangible, I didn't think that it would be a literal meaning. There was nothing here! Not even a couple of asteroids to fill this dark corner of space. We rode through the inhabited sector speechless and after another 5 minutes of searching we were still stuck with a empty space for our view - Wait no! There was 1 - Count 'em 1 - asteroid in this sector… I groaned out of frustration.

"I guess you were right. Our intel was total BS. That green buffoon is going to get a hiding when I get back to him" The Smuggler laughed, a bit more than necessary and I gave him a questioning look.

"Well, Friend. As much as I would love to see that... I don't think that we will be getting back home in such a hurry."

"What? Am I missing something, or are you being sarcastic? I really can't tell with you sometimes."

The Smuggler just looked at me for a couple seconds, annoyed, before turning his attention back to the empty space ahead of us and answering me.

"Friend. This isn't the place we're meant to be precisely. Ya see, we need to find 'The Gate' to get in here."

"So where in hell is this bloody gate?"

"Have you ever wondered why this sector is 'Intangible?" He left my question in the queue behind another and cut me off before I could say anything to it.

"Ever wondered why it's recommended to stay away, from this here sector?" I nodded.

"Have you even heard of this sector before your idiotic friend told us to give it a visit?" I sheepishly shook my head.

"It's 'cause its a villains sector." He explained without explaining it and I gave him a look of confusion which caused him to sigh.

"Criminals, Crooks, Antiheroes, Bad guys. They come here! It's a… Safe Haven, of sorts. It also means that only the before mentioned villains and crooks can get in and out of this here sector… Anyone else see's all this!" He splayed his arms out to emphasise the emptiness surrounding us.

"Riiight… So does that mean you can get us in?" I asked him eyebrow raised, hoping for a straight answer for once.

"Nope… Not until we find the gate, that is."

"Great… Just great. How long will this take?"

"Gee you're like an annoying little kid, aren't you? Yes I can take you there… But like I said, it's a villain's sector. When they come to our ship to let us in, they won't. Everyone around these parts knows you. The Hero. The Savior. The Last Lombax… And his metallic robot sidekick. So tell me, why in hell would they let you of all people in? Except for the fact that they would ambush you… All at once..." I let out a frustrated sigh.

"Well I didn't come round here just to leave so you could finish this mission on your own!"

"You won't be leaving…" The man said slyly while turning away to a secret compartment in his ship and looking around.

"Well… What've you got planned? A hologuise? Or-" I Blacked out suddenly with the last thing I remember being a flash of silver…

"Oh hey! You're that smuggling feller aren't ya?" I heard a muffled voice as I came to. "Could you sign here please? We're re-instating the passport policy, though long time users like yourself get it free. Now there will be no more border patrol! Just swipe and continue."

Passport policy? What are we doing at an airport? Was all I though through my foggy mind. I had the worst headache from what I think was a silver hammer that the Smuggler had hit me with… Speak of the devil, I heard his voice.

"Oh that sounds great friend. Just here? Great. T... S... Now is that all?"

"Yes sir! Our customs are still the same… They were just losing money in what they call an 'unneeded area of expertise" The muffled voice huffed and seemed down by this, and It seemed that The Smuggler cared a little bit too.

"Oh, that's too bad, Frank. I hope you find another job before Lucy tries eating you again, eh?" The two then laughed for a bit. I then made the mistake of opening my eyes and felt the headache grow as well as introduce its new pet to me. Dizziness. God, it was almost unbearable. I think I groaned because I was quickly rewarded with a sharp kick up the ass by someone, the Smuggler himself most likely. What the hell was he doing?

I groaned again louder this time and received another kick up the hiney.

"Are you sure it's nothing? The muffled voice asked, presumably about my groaning noises.

"Ahh no, just another one of them goddamn annoying pets. You know, Mertels? The most Annoying Frustrating Pain in my Ass Right Now bird." I received another kick.

"Ahh yes, but the right ones are worth a charm, aren't they?"

"Yep. Now I'm sorta in a hurry Frank, gotta get down to business as usual. So gimme a call some other time."

"Oh, yes. Certainly. You may go as you please… Uh just one more thing actually…"

"Yes, Frank?"

"What do your initials stand for? T.S.?" The Smuggler chuckled at this before answering. Obviously no one knew his real name, heck even I was curious. I perked my ears up as far as I could to make sure I heard this.

"The. Smuggler." was all the muffled voice and I got before they said their goodbyes and we zoomed off.

After a couple of minutes of speeding we jerked to a stop and I felt a hand around my neck pull me out of the cramped space I was in before.

"What the heck do you think you were trying to pull back there?!" He screamed at me before chucking me down and retrieving a shutdown Clank from the same space he got me from.

"What was I doing? What were you doing? You locked me in some cabinet with Clank for who knows how long!"

"47 minutes and 23 seconds… But I did that for a reason, friend. Look around and you'll thank me for it."

I looked out the front windscreen of his ship almost expecting an empty void. But it wasn't. This sector was filled to the brim with energy and movement. Chases. Shooting. Small wars even. Yet the same area about 47 minutes and 52 seconds ago was empty, hold for that one asteroid I saw floating around.

"How is this possible you might ask? Well If I told you I'd lose my privileges around this place, so lets just say one bad dude mixed science and magic and… Voila!" He waved his arm at the almost hectic sight before us.

"So you needed to lock me up with a small cabinet for what reason?"

"You don't have a passport, neither does you little friend. So even if you put on a hologuise, we'd have needed to go through the whole 'NBG' path. Plus your heroes and you'd be very easy to snuff out.

'Any villain, self-proclaimed bad guy and/or ne'er do well who is caught assisting a hero into our sector will be killed on sight. No exceptions.'

Thats the only rule."

I could've argued about the fact that I could've hidden there on my own accord, amongst other things. But I decided to drop it. Arguing wouldn't get us anywhere.

"Okay. That sounds cheery. So what now?"

The Smuggler shifted past me and slid his hand across the wall until a compartment opened up. He then pulled out two hologuises and chucked one of them at me.

"Your name is Tony. You are single and poor with an expertise in Grubbel Grubs. Your helping me with some of those before mentioned grubs for some bolts. Clank on the other hand will be Antoinette. Your brothers daughter who you're looking after."

I pushed the button on my belts latest feature and found myself turning blue. I had turned into a species that looked fairly close to a Novailian… But with features of other species too. You couldn't put your finger on just one…

"What species am I exactly?"

"We call you 'Mixis'. Your new species was built in a lab and somehow survived. You're native to this sector and no one really likes you…"

"Great. Okay. So where are we gonna find this Blackheart guy? It's not like we really know anything about him… Really we've just been told his name."

"Friend. Would I take you into this sector if I didn't know what I was doing?

"If it wasn't for all those leviathan souls I'm sure you wouldn't be here at all…"

"Touche… Anyway. Believe it or not, I have a plan. First off we're going to be visiting an old friend on planet Prixsies. He knows all of what goes on around here, from politics to a war between two species of ants. After we know a bit more about our enemy, we'll gear up, kill him, and get you out of here before the whole sector is on to us."

"Well let's get to it then."

We had landed on Prixsies an hour ago. A barren wasteland lay ahead of me. Miles and miles of nothing except for the metropolis in the direct centre. The sky was a browny colour from pollution and there were massive black clouds hovering above the city from metal chimneys that were scattered around the clump of metal. It looked ruthless, a place you didn't want to mess with, let alone the people inside it. We passed through the force field surrounding the city and began looking for a place to land, only to find that it would cost us 50 bolts an hour. The Smuggler had his own way of dealing with these things and some rich guys Hovarri got pinned for not having a ticket and kept by the parking lot owner… Yes The Smuggler had his ways...

We walked through the city giving dirty looks to everyone else who was giving dirty looks to us - I think it was a custom here. But I did not like it here. My hand kept twitching towards my wrench at my belt. I felt the need to protect myself from this place. I felt like there we're dozens of eyes peering through the cracks and through my hologuise. But no one came at us.

Surprisingly we ended up at a tea shop which had 'The Finest Tea In All Of Magus' as they had proudly printed on the outside wall of the shop. But when I reached the interior, a putrid smell overcame me, even Clank could sense something bad in the air. Pairs of eyes turned around to size us up. Not just pairs actually, triplets and two septuplets of eyes on slimy stalks. It felt like we just walked into an old western bar… except much worse.

Seconds passed and so did the centre of attention as a fat man in a suit started screaming to a gently plucked acoustic guitar and everyone cheered the man on. As the spotlight was on his, we decided to make our move an ask around about Blackheart, starting with the bartender.

"Hello good men. Would you like some tea?" He asked us enthusiastically.

"We would like to ask you some questions actually" The Smuggler crossed his arms, but the tea keeper was stubborn.

"No tea no service! Now get out. I have customers waiting for me." I looked behind us and found the whole room empty except for a like of tea lovers glaring at us, ready to chuck us out.

"Drinks on me!" I shouted without thinking. A roar erupted and I was picked up quickly. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Clank giggling away under his hologuise as I rode the wave of tea lovers who didn't put me down till their tea arrived. 10 minutes well wasted.

They put me down when the bell that signalled their tea was being served rung, and each individual shook my hand and thanked me… Not what you would expect from a hard looking bunch like these guys, though I guess everyone has a soft spot…

I walked back to The Smuggler and Clank after the big screamer performer crushed my hand, drank his tea and declared his next song be dedicated to me. The Smuggler let out a laugh as I approached.

"Gee, Friend. In all my years coming to this place, I ain't never seen anyone do that before. Kudos!"

"Uh, thanks. Is the 'Tea Man' ready to see us? Or is it going to take another round of tea?" The Smuggler opened his mouth to speak, but his voice is not the one I heard.

"You have proven yourself worthy of the Tea Bar Association… TBA for short... Come, mixed one. We have much to discuss..." The bartender told me through his scratchy voice.

We followed...