Well... here it is folks; the last real chapter (there will be an odd little epilogue in a few days). I am up to chapter 4 of my first non-HTTYD book and intend to work on it for the next month, but I hope to be back with a short story or two around september to october. Feel free to keep in touch, Marty & Moon =^..^=
40 Ye Tortures
"So then... how long can you stay?" Dianta asked the Dragon Riders sitting in her front room.
"Oh we're not staying" Astrid smirked as she looked down by the front door and gestured with her head.
Dianta turned to see what her friend was trying to tell her, and saw that her mother had packed her a rucksack.
"Am I going too? She gasped before getting a little suspicious "Wait a minute... do you need a dragon sitter again?"
"Not exactly" Hiccup admitted "Did you know that Queen Sigrid is going to have a baby?"
"Yes... we all do" she nodded as she sat down on the couch "Messengers have been sent out over the entire country with the good news."
"Well she is going to need an official Dragon Keeper in the Royal Stables; someone who can take Skywolf out and keep him happy during the later part of her pregnancy."
"me?" Dianta squeaked.
"Do you want the job?" Astrid asked.
"But what about the farm? With Dad back in the navy..."
"Don't you worry about that" her mother smiled "we'll manage and besides, this is an official position; you'll be earning a proper wage... just like your father."
"So... so I'm moving to Bolthorn Castle... NOW?"
"Oh it's even better than that" Hiccup smiled "You'll return to Berk with us for a month..."
"Maybe two" Astrid corrected.
"Or two, for some intensive training... with your very own dragon."
"eep!" she squeaked again.
"That's not fair" Rowan whined "how come she gets her own dragon and I don't?"
"Well because she has shown herself to be responsible and mature" Karin declared.
"And who said she would come back with only one dragon?" Astrid hinted.
"Err... What?" Hiccup questioned Astrid's judgment.
"But you young man, have not had any dragon training" Astrid continued "and the only person with enough experience in Elydonia, and with time to train you, would be your sister. So tell me Rowan; could you listen to her and treat her with the proper respect due to the Royal Dragon Keeper of Bolthorn Castle, or would that be too much for me to expect of a seven year old?"
"Actually, he's eight now" Karin noted.
"NINE NEXT MONTH" Rowan protested.
"Well we will have to see what kind of a nine year old you turn out to be" Astrid sounded stern "I'll try and talk Chief Stoick into letting us bring back two dragons when we return, but remember; you'll still be living on the farm, and if your mother tells us that you're not ready... we'll take it back with us when we leave."
"She's not joking either" Dianta nodded "Don't forget they left me behind for the same reason."
"What do I have to do?" he asked.
"Nothing major dear" Karin smiled "but not crying 'IT'S NOT FAIR' all the time would be a good start."
A few minutes later, when Dianta and her mother had finally finished saying goodbye (i.e. crying), the newest Dragon Rider stood waiting next to Stormfly.
"Well... what are you waiting for?" Astrid asked.
"Don't you want to get on first? Dianta asked.
"Oh I'm not going on Stormfly; HERE BOY!" she shouted and gave a loud whistle.
Karin and her children all jumped when a large part of the tree they stood near, suddenly changed colours and dropped down next to Astrid.
"Oh that's right" Hiccup realised "You've never seen a Changewing before, have you?"
"A... a Change... wing?" Dianta stuttered "Does that mean... you're giving Stormfly... to ME?"
"WHAT!?" Astrid was startled "NO WAY."
"All this means is you'll be riding Stormfly back to Staggshund, and then on to Bolthorn" Hiccup informed her "Astrid and I are going on a very special mission tonight that will require the use of Ghosts... unique camouflage abilities."
"AND I WANT MY DRAGON BACK WHEN WE'RE DONE" Astrid gritted her teeth.
"Of course" Dianta agreed as she petted the purring Nadder "No one would ever give up a beautiful dragon like you, would they girl? I don't suppose I could have a Nadder too, could I?"
"Can't promise for sure" Hiccup confessed "but we'll see what we can do."
The door creaked softly as it swung slowly open; the man behind it was just too tired to move beyond a shuffle. It was a big enough job to run a country, but an empire took things to a whole new level, so he had just given orders that he was not to be disturbed for at least six hours; during which he planned to be mostly unconscious. He moved over toward the soft bed, his candle giving just enough illumination to light his path.
"Good evening Borges" a low threatening voice emitted from the shadows of the lonely room.
The sudden shock hit so hard, that he dropped the candle. It extinguished before it struck the floor and the room was plunged back into total darkness, but only briefly; soon a soft blue light began to fill the room.
"Oh n-no" the man shivered as he saw the light came from the opening mouth of a black dragon.
Two men stood either side of the beast; the shorter had his hand on the back of the dragon's head, while the taller one stepped menacingly closer.
"Don't worry Borges" the tall man suggested "we only want to talk... and I think it would be good for you to hear precisely what we have to..."
As King Joric drew nearer to the timid man, something struck him as very wrong.
"Wait a minute... WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?"
High up on the ruins of the tower, Astrid sat with Ghost watching over the New Loran Capital. The dragon resisted the urge to roar loudly, just like he used to do back when he lived in the area. Astrid wanted him to be quiet, and Ghost wanted Astrid to be happy with him. It had been very frustrating for the proud Changewing to find he had lost the ability to understand his friend's words, but that ability returned soon after they had landed on the tower; he did not know how or why, but he would never take that skill for granted again.
"I... I just don't... I just don't believe it; everything you said... it's all true."
"I am a Viking warrior" Dylan smirked "I may embellish, distort, misrepresent, fabricate, deceive, misstate and exaggerate... but I would never lie."
"So... that girl... is the Snot-Turkey?" she asked.
"Defiantly not" Dylan corrected "That is Astrid who, along with Hiccup, is one of the future leaders of the tribe. Just as it was typical behaviour for Snotlout to take my dragon, it is just like Astrid to bring him back to me."
Dylan stared at the spider in front of him and pondered her for a moment.
"You need a name; a noble name... like Astrids."
"Why would a spider need a name?" she asked just as she realised "Wait a minute... you've got one... haven't you?"
"Yes indeed" he said proudly "My name... is Dylan!"
Biological scientists the world over, would pay large sums of money for film, video, or a sound recording of what came next; one of the few examples in all history of... a spider laughing.
"When you've quite finished" Dylan huffed "I have decided to give you a similar name to that of the late wife of Chief Stoick; you shall be called... Valkyrie."
"Valkyrie?" she stopped laughing and her eyes widened (all eight of them); she liked the sound of that name.
"Now that has been settled" Dylan noted "it's time for us to go."
"GO, go where?"
"Back to Berk of course... on my dragon."
"ARE YOU SERIOUS!?" for the first time in her short life, she was truly frightened.
"D-don't hurt me... please."
"I won't hurt you... if you cooperate" Joric threatened "NOW WHERE'S Borges?"
"Emperor Borges is dead sir" the shivering man informed them "I am the temporary interim prime magistrate in charge of emergency government administration with special powers of compulsory oversight."
"You're what?"
"I'm the boss... for the next few days at least."
Hiccup saw that things were no longer going to plan, so he hurried over to the door and locked it.
"So what happened to Borges?" Joric enquired.
"He err... had an accident... with a sword... or two... and a balcony. He arrived here several hours ago in the Imperial Coach declaring that you had killed Emperor Scias and that he was taking over, but the soldiers you released outside the city had already told us that you claimed it was Borges himself who killed Scias."
"I only know that I didn't kill Scias, and I left him alive with Borges" Joric declared.
"You have to understand the mood of the powerful people in New Loran" the magistrate informed them "For many years, they were all happy, rich and getting richer because of Scias's obsession with Gryphons, Dragons and other mythical creatures. He just kept expanding the empire, over taxing the conquered lands and as a result, we all had it good; but then... the real dragons appeared and everything changed."
"And not for the better I assume" Joric nodded.
"No; Scias started spending all incoming wealth on building up the navy with intentions of getting all the dragons for himself, and err... well you know how that turned out."
"So what happened with Borges?" Hiccup asked.
"He arrived with stories of the evil Elydonians, and Scias's final command to build up our forces in order to conquer you; all this after the dragons had caused so much havoc in the city, at the naval port and at sea... so we've decided that we have a new opportunity here... and the only person in our way is... or should I say was, Borges."
"Hence the swords" Joric noted.
"And the balcony" Hiccup added.
"Precisely" the magistrate agreed "I know you have no reason to trust me... but we've got a plan... and I think you'll like it."
"I'm listening" Joric hinted.
"Okay... let's get down to business; I assume you came here to give Borges some kind of ultimatum not to invade Elydonia. If you'd wanted him dead, I never would have made it to the centre of the room alive."
"Go on."
"You are not the only one who feels threatened by the empire, and that puts New Loran in constant danger on both sides; attack from without and mutiny from within. In fact our biggest threat is from the lands we have already conquered. So now we have this great opportunity to send ambassadors everywhere, and tell everyone that it was all Scias's fault... who is now dead... and the next tyrant has been overthrown before he had the chance to cause any trouble."
"So you intend to disband the empire?" Joric was surprised at this development.
"Not so much... more sort of change it into a united commonwealth of independent countries. It gives their leaders the chance to go from being nothing more than local governors, to being kings, presidents or prime ministers without an uprising... and who wouldn't want that."
"And you think you can pull this off?"
"We hope so; you have to remember that although the last year has been nothing but a downhill slide for us here in New Loran, we are still very rich. So if we send out our ambassadors on ships filled with supplies, and a bit of gold for the leaders" the magistrate smirked "we should be able to win them over."
"So what do we do now?" Hiccup asked.
"We leave I suppose" Joric replied "But don't forget Mr. Temporary interim prime magistrate in charge of emergency government administration with special powers of compulsory oversight..."
"Please... call me Bob."
"Well... Bob... if we see any armed forces approaching by land, or by sea... my wife has a dragon... and it's bigger than this one."
"I-I swear to you... all you will see anywhere near your borders, is a Diplomatic Party."
"And they will be most welcome" King Joric smiled and patted the magistrates shoulder.
"No movement down in the courtyard" Astrid informed Hiccup as he, Joric and Toothless arrived on top of the tower "so I think we've gotten away with it. Well... how did it go?"
"I... that is... we... umm."
"Stop mumbling Hiccup and tell me; did you convince Borges not to move against Elydonia?"
"We didn't have to... Borges is dead."
"Dead?" she was taken aback "So who's in charge now?"
"Bob" Hiccup informed her.
"Bob? Okay... so what does that mean?"
"To tell you the truth" Joric admitted "I'm not sure... but hopefully we'll find out more when the Ambassador arrives at the border."
"What Ambassador?" Astrid asked as Toothless flew off again "WILL SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON AROUND HERE?"
" I don't believe it... I'm sitting on a dragon's head... and We're FLYING!"
"Great, isn't it?" Dylan could not stop grinning.
"If I was wearing pants, I need to change them" Valkyrie admitted "and how come I know what pant's are anyway?"
"I don't understand how it works exactly, but everything I know, you will know too" Dylan informed her.
"So my head will fill up with rubbish about snotty turkeys, legged fish and stuff like that?"
"And so much more my dear... much, much more."
"Oh... I can hardly wait" Valkyrie sighed; wishing she'd given this a bit more thought before jumping in so far out of her depth.
"So... we're just going to leave New Loran and hope for the best?" Astrid asked after all had been explained to her.
"I don't see that we have much choice" Joric admitted "I don't have the right to tell them what to do... and they appear to be on a good track."
"You were going to tell Borges what he should do" Astrid accused the King.
"Not really; I was only going to threaten him personally if he should send his armed forces into Elydonia" Joric corrected "Rulers like him only want to risk other people's lives and not their own."
"And what if this new Commonwealth of Nations decides to gang up on you?" Hiccup asked.
"No one said we couldn't send out our own ambassadors" Joric grinned "And when the Elydonian Ambassador is accompanied by a member of the Royal Family riding a dragon, I think negotiations will go the way we desire."
Although they were not sure if it would all work out quite as Joric hoped, Hiccup and Astrid had other thoughts on their minds; one was to get home and start the training of the Royal Elydonian Dragon Keeper, but their biggest thought was simply to spend as much time as they could wrangle, lying in each other arms once again; Berk was calling them home.
The title of this final chapter may have been another one of Spike Milligan's epic poems, but I like to think of it as a note Emperor Borges was planning to send to his Chief Interrogator down in the dungeons before his... accident... with the swords... and the balcony.
These words should not merely be read, but recited in a voice dripping with malice and evil (like the witches from Macbeth... or Nixon from Futurama).
Thanks to everyone for reading this story, and especially to Midoriko-sama, fanfic71, Sarnakh the Sunderer, Stripesides222 and biancaruth for your reviews and messages; you've all kept me going... daily.
YE LISTE OF TORTURES
Bluned on ye Grunions
and krelled on his Grotts
Ye legges will be twergled
and pulled thru' ye motts!
His Nukes will be Fongled
split thrice on yon Thulls
Then laid on ye Quottle
and hung by ye Bhuls!
Twice thocked on the Phneflic,
Yea broggled thrice twee.
Ye moggs wiIl be grendled
and stretched six foot three!
By now, if ye victim
show not ye sorrow,
Send him home. Tell him,
"Come back to-morrow" (cackling laugh).
This is also the fate of all those who didn't review this story (Moon is sharpening his claws as we speak... on my leg).