Hi guys! Unfortunately, this took forever, but I am going to step up my game. It's summer, and I have plenty of time to post and write. Now, Virmire is coming up, and I would appreciate feedback on how to approach the mission with the Ridley factor mixed in now. Anyways, here is chapter 10.
After we kissed, the first few seconds were a haze. All I could remember from those stand still seconds are Shepard's sea green eyes and the after shocks of our earth shattering, overwhelmingly passionate, kiss. As soon as my immense shock wore off however, I bolted from the scene, pushing past Shepard and running straight for the crews quarters, where he couldn't follow without waking up a dozen people. After I ran away, I hadn't seen him much, and that was purely on purpose. From Garrus' frequent chats though, I could piece together that he was pissed off. Silently pissed off, but still pissed off.
As I walked a short way to the elevator, I was on alert for any presence of Shepard. When the elevators doors opened, I found the area inside pleasantly unoccupied. I reached over and pressed the button for the shuttle bay, and the doors slid closed. hen I entered the shuttle bay, I made a beeline for the requisition desk, and started to download the files I needed onto my omni-tool as fast as I could. But, as if the universe was working against me, Shepard's usually joking but now steely voice called out from behind me, "We need to talk."
"Is there a reason why, commander?" I said, too much of a comedian to let an ample opportunity to tease pass me by. I also might have admittedly been stalling, but only a little bit.
"You know why, Ridley. Don't joke. Follow me," and judging from his tone of voice, I was in no position to argue. We stepped into the elevator together and Shepard pressed the button for the crew deck. We went slowly up in silence, an unbreakable tension settling between us.
When we arrived on the deck, Shepard lead me (albeit angrily) to his quarters. As soon as the door zoomed shut, I felt an overwhelming sense of doom settle over me.
"You... We can't ignore each other. Not just because I'm the commander of this mission, but because we are an hour out from Virmire, and you are our strongest fighter. We need with your head in the game, not distracted by me or this mess we've created. So let's figure this out, then do our jobs." Shepard had let out in one breath, his voice solid and his remorse obvious.
I scoffed, "You make it sound so easy."
"It doesn't have to be complicated. Let's just leave it at you don't like me but I like you, hmm?"
I closed my eyes. How could I explain how I had started to fall for this man, but we couldn't be together because of what I was? The nightmare that had been my childhood? The demons that would follow me for the rest of my life? What could I say? "Whether or not you believe me Shepard, the truth has a cost, just like lies do.
"What is it that you think will happen if we are together? I just don't understand it."
"It's hard to explain. But it's not you and it's definitely not whether or not I have feelings for you, because I do, more than you know." I replied truthfully.
Shepard stomped over to me, took my face in his hands, and did almost exactly what he did that past night: he kissed me senseless. And I do love it when he does that. We moved back so we were supported by the wall. In those precious seconds before we had to break for air, I felt the entire world fall away, and not a single coherent thought formed in my head, so I settled for saying Shepard's name over and over like a mantra.
As soon as we did break for air though, the world came back and slapped me in the face like a blast of ice cold water. I got ready to dodge him, to run back to the freedom of the universe outside of this room, but Shepard's arm reached out and stopped me before I could do so. My exit blocked by Shepard's arms on either side of my head, I felt like a caught mouse.
"We don't have a problem if you liked that kiss as much as I did, because to me, our problem is you denying this with every fiber of your being." Shepard whispered, his face close enough for me to smell his breath.
"It's complicated," I told him.
"Why does it have to be? You're obviously scared I will reject you for some reason, but that is not going to happen."
"It will," I argued.
He replied in breathy whisper, "It won't. You just have to trust me. Do you trust me?"
My eyes delved into his green eyes, seeing that unnamed emotion there, mixed with hope and desperation. When I looked in those eyes, I realized I couldn't deny him. I was falling for Shepard and I couldn't help it.
"Of course I do."
"Then trust me to accept you."
I took a deep breath, getting ready to take one of the biggest risks in my life. "Okay."
Shepard took almost a double take at that, "Okay?"
I smiled, delighted I could make even the great Shepard speechless. In that extremely cheesy moment, I felt like I had found a sense of calm. I never could have guessed how that peace would be shattered on Virmire.