BEFORE YOU KILL ME:

(because believe me, I know you have every right to.)

I know it's been well over a month since my last update. Home life is rough, I've had a lot to do, and there really wasn't all that much spare time for writing.

I've been working on this two part bit for a good time now, and I only hope you will enjoy it, because let's face it. If I've put this much work into it and you DON'T like it, then I will be forced to kill this story off. For a little while at least :P

I am going to try my hardest to get the ball rolling, because in all actuality, we are getting quite close to the end. So. Yeah.

IN ANSWER TO SOME OF YOUR REVIEWS:

ANOTHER QUICK AUTHORS NOTE BEFORE YOU BEGIN READING.

This has to do with a few reviews I received concerning the fact that Peeta hasn't noticed Katniss' baby bump during certain…'activities'.

I'D LIKE TO CLEAR THAT UP.

In this case, Katniss IS showing. In HER eyes. She is one of those people who is tiny the whole pregnancy. You must also take in to account the fact that she is only about 4-6ish months pregnant here, and you don't normally begin showing until around this time.

In any case, what I am trying to say is, SHE has noticed the subtle changes in her body, because SHE knows her body, and SHE knows something isn't normal.

Everyone else is assuming it is just regular old Katniss.

So really, it's just like her belly is BARELY protruding. Like anyone's tummy would after an exceptionally large meal. Not enough to start questioning things.

And, from Peeta's POV, she just seems to be fattening up a little bit before going back in to the arena. (But of course I wouldn't have expected you to know that. That is why I just told you.)

Okay. You can read this delicious chapter now :)

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"No! What are you doing?! That's my baby! You can't take him!" I hopelessly yelled at the Peacekeepers. "IT ISNT HIS FAULT! It was me. Take me instead, please!" I called after them as they strode down the lane from the Victors Village, my sleeping baby boy in hand. The tears flowing freely down my cheeks as I helplessly watch them walk away.

"Gale, can't you do something? Go after them? Please?" I sob.

He shakes his head, and pulls me into a warm hug, letting me soak his shirt with my tears. We stand there in front of my home in the Village for what seems like hours, and when I've finally calmed enough to speak, Gale's shirt is plastered to his skin.

"It…It just isn't fair," I sniffle."First they take Peeta, a-and now our son… I… I just wish I were dead." Now I am really sobbing, and Gale is shaking me. Not just nudging me, vigorously shaking me. And then I realize it isn't Gale shaking me. It's Peeta.

"Katniss?" He sounds alarmed. "Katniss, wake up. What is it honey?"

Once my eyes come in to focus, and I can clearly see all of Peeta's scrunched up features, the tears spill over, and I am blubbering like a baby. He takes me in his arms, and even though I am sticky, sweaty, and very much naked, neither of us seems to really notice. He holds me gingerly, rubbing my back, running his fingers through my tangled locks.

"What is it? Nightmare?" He says softly.

I nod into his shoulder as he holds me tighter, sobs rocking us.

"It's okay," he coos, rubbing my back. "It's alright." He says, his lips leaving soft trails of kisses up and down my shoulder. "Do you want to talk about it?" He says quietly.

I look up at him, stunned. He's never asked to talk about my dreams before. I guess he always assumed they were about the arena. I sniffle, gazing into his eyes, still shaking slightly.

"I… No. Not this dream. Not now, anyways…" I hiccup.

He doesn't respond with words, but he pulls me closer to him, like he is holding on for dear life. We sit there on the bed encased in each other's arms for what seems like only a little while when there's a knock at the door. I scramble down under the covers and wait for whomever to enter.

It's the Avox girl.

She avoids Peeta completely, and walks over to me, handing me a note with my name penned in Effie's distinguishable scrawl across the top. I thank her, and she leaves as I skim over the contents of the note.

"What is it?" Peeta asks.

"No coaching today." I say.

"Really? Let me see," he replies, holding his hand out for the little note card. He too reads the note to himself, several times probably, to make sure his eyes weren't deceiving him. "Do you know what this means?" I shake my head at him, not understanding. "Katniss, it means we have a whole day to ourselves. To do whatever we please… No coaching, no training."

"It's too bad we can't go somewhere, though…" I say.

"Who says we can't?"

About an hour later, after warm showers and breakfast, Peeta leads me up to the roof. We lounged and talked, cuddled and laughed. When the growling of my stomach grew too noisy to bear, we ordered lunch and had a picnic. We made up games, Peeta sketched me and I practiced knots with hanging vines.

No one bothered us. I lay on Peeta, my head in his lap as we watched the sun set over the city. We didn't join the others for dinner, and no one summoned us. He played with my hair, and for once, it honestly didn't bother me. It actually felt…good. And then, without warning, he stopped. "What?" I pouted.

He snorted and then said, "Nothing… I-I just wish I could freeze this moment, right here, right now, and live in it forever."

I strong 'kick' in my abdomen. Well played, baby…well played. I wanted him. Right here, right now, on this rooftop. Out in the open, where anyone could walk in on us, and I wouldn't have cared.

I turned over and pinned Peeta beneath me as swiftly as I could manage. Parts of my body were starting to swell in unnatural ways and I was surprised no one had noticed yet. Maybe they just think I've gained extra weight for the Games? I dismissed the thought and threw my mouth on his. My kisses weren't forceful, but they weren't exactly gentle either.

Thoughts kept on popping into my head, and every time one did, I would become more urgent, press harder against Peeta, hoping he would take the hint.

Katniss, you need to tell him. He has a right to know…

Kisses on his collar bone, all the way up to the shell of his ear.

It's his baby too, you know. It really isn't nice to keep something like this from him. I thought we could tell him anything? Why is this so different?

I started to remove his shirt. That drew the line. Peeta pushed me away, gasping for air. "Katniss… I… Not here… " He panted.

I sighed. He knew something was up. After he'd caught his breath, I sat back off of him, finding a comfortable position for the coming conversation. "Peeta… I-I need to tell you something… I've sort of been keeping it a secret."

"Katniss, you know you can tell me anything. There's no reason to hide anything from me," He said smiling, tracing my jaw with his thumb.

I smiled back at him, quite unconvincingly too. "Peeta, I-" I hesitated. "Do you remember when-" I couldn't find the right words.

"Katniss, go on. Surely it can't be as bad as you are making me think it is?" He questioned.

"Well… It kind of is… Peeta. I'm-"

"There you two are! I've been searching for you forever! You've missed lunch and dinner! That's just bad manners." Effie snapped, and we both looked to the ground, ashamed. "Do you have any clue as to what time it is? You need your beauty rest for your interviews tomorrow. The whole country will be watching!"

"Sorry, Effie..." We both mumbled, grabbing our things and getting up off the ground.

"Now off to bed! Both of you! We've got a big, big, big, big day tomorrow!"

We walk silently down the stairs and slip into my room, undressing and getting into bed without a word. I cuddled into Peeta, and he scooted closer to me, sighing into my neck. "Whatever it is you wanted to tell me, do it when you are ready. Don't pressure yourself, because then it will come out all wrong, and you will regret it." He yawned, and went still. He must be really exhausted...

I instantly felt my insides clench. I felt absolutely terrible about not telling him, but how would I feel after I told him? We'd probably both be dead a minute after the gong sounded, signaling the beginning of the Quell.

I laid there in his comforting grasp for hours, just listening to the evenness of his breathing and thinking. What should I do? Only just before dawn did I finally drift off into a somewhat peaceful sleep.

The next morning, we are woken by the sobs of my prep team, as our sleeping in the same bed has sent them over the edge. Once they've calmed themselves enough, they send Peeta to his own room for prep, and I am left alone with my team. The usual chatter has been suspended. In fact, there is little talk at all, other than for me to raise my chin, or a comment on how to apply a certain piece of makeup. It's nearly lunch time when I feel something drip on to my shoulder, and turn to find Flavius snipping away at my hair, silent tears running down his face. Venia gives him a look, and he gently sets the scissors down on the table, and removes himself from the room.

Now it's just me and Venia. The silence continues on as she does my hair, nails, and the rest of my makeup, her fingers flying swiftly to make up for the absence of her teammates. The rest of our time together is spent avoiding gazes and keeping the silence, and it is only when Cinna arrives to approve me that she takes my hands , looks me straight in the eye, and says, "We would all like you to know what a…privilege it has been to make you look your best." Then she hastens from the room.

A single tear escapes my eye at her heart-breaking words. I am certain by them that they are sure I won't be returning after these Games. Does the whole world know it? I look at Cinna, seeing the look in his eyes, certainly he knows. But, as promised there is no danger of tears from him.

"So, what am I wearing tonight?" I ask, eyeing the garment bag that holds my dress.

"President Snow put in the dress order himself," says Cinna. Unzipping the bag, he reveals to me one of the dresses I wore for my photo shoot. "Even though they announced the Quarter Quell the night of the photo shoot, people still got to vote for their favorite dress, and this was the winner. The President says you are to wear it tonight. All of our objections were ignored, of course."

I rub a bit of the silk between my fingers, trying to understand Snow's reasoning. I suppose since I was the greatest offender, my pain, loss, and humiliation should be placed under the brightest spotlight. This, he thinks, will make that clear. It's so barbaric, the president turning my wedding gown into my shroud, that the blow strikes home, leaving me with a dull ache inside. I sigh. "Well, it would be a waste of such a pretty dress" is all I can say.

Carefully, Cinna helps me into the gown, silently acknowledging my slightly protruding stomach. As the dress settles on my shoulders, I can't help but give a shrug in complaint. "Was it always this heavy?" I ask. I remember several of the dresses being dense, but this one now seems like it weighs just over a ton.

Cinna hesitates, "I had to make a few slight alterations. Because of the lighting," he says. I nod, but I don't know what the lighting has to do with anything. He decks me out with the shoes and pearl jewelry, waiting to place the veil on my head until last.

"You're ravishing," he says. "Now my dear Katniss, because this dress is so fitted, I don't want you raising your arms above your head. Well, not until you twirl, anyway.

"Will I be twirling again?" I ask, thinking of my interview last year.

"I am almost positive Caesar will ask you to, and if he doesn't, you must suggest it yourself. But, not right away. Save it for the big finale," Cinna instructs.

"Give me a signal so I know when," I say.

"Of course. Any plans for this interview?" Cinna says. "I know Haymitch left you to your own devices yesterday."

"Not really. I guess I just plan on winging it. And the funny thing is, I'm not even nervous this time." There isn't a bit of untruthfulness with my words. No matter how much Snow hates me, or however much I resent him for making me wear this dress, This Capitol audience is mine.

We meet up with Peeta and his team at the elevator. He is dressed in an elegant tuxedo and white gloves, the sort of thing a Capitol groom would wear.

"You guys go on down, I need to speak with Peeta for a minute." I said, nodding slightly at Cinna, hoping he would understand what I meant. "Alone." I added.

They all agreed, and Peeta stared at me questioningly while I watched the elevator doors close. "What is it, Katniss?"

"I've been trying to find a way to tell you since… Well. Since I found out. But, that sort of thing just isn't easy, you know. So, I've been floundering for the right words, and I really can't find them so I guess-" Peeta cut me off by placing his mouth on mine; a soft kiss.

"You're rambling," He told me.

"Right… Uh. Well. The thing is Peeta, well." I took a deep breath. You can do this, I told myself. "You remember the night of the announcement?" I asked.

He nodded.

"And, you remember what happened...after?"

He nodded again.

"Well. I-I'm." I couldn't bring myself to say the words. I looked to the ground, searching for something to say, do. Anything to help him understand what it was I was trying to tell him.

He reached over to me and lifted my chin up so I'd meet his eyes. He gave me that prodding look- the one that says 'go-on-nothing-you-say-is-going-to-make-me-change-my-mind-about-you-at-all,' and then I finally realized that he was right. He loved me. I loved him. Nothing could ever change that in a million years. So I did what I thought would make understanding easy. I slowly moved my hands up from my sides, and folded them over my stomach protectively. I looked to my hands, then back to Peeta, waiting for the realization to cross his features.

He sighed. "I know."

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Le Authors Note:

Woo-hoo for cliff hangers!

Now go review, and let me know how much you hate me for leaving you without updates for so long. Don't worry. The next part will be up in a few hours :P

AND as always, a wonderful thanks to my lovely Beta, mage-luna. (GO CHECK OUT HER STUFF GUISE. SHE IS AWESOME.) If it weren't for you, I probably would have thrown in the towel on this story a few weeks ago.