1. The Idea

-x-

"It's interesting how such a simple case would bother you to no end," Ai observed with a small smile, breaking the thoughtful silence that had followed Conan's account of the most recent homicidal case. It was almost impossible to decipher her smile, which might be due to mockery, sympathy, understanding, or all. Keeping her arms crossed in front of her chest, she stared off into a distance and continued, "It's also interesting how you've been confiding in me recently."

"Shut up, you." Conan slumped in his chair and scowled as he watched Ai's enigmatic, somewhat sad smile curve up into a grin. She was looking at him again, but this time with smiling eyes. "It's not like I have anyone else to talk to," he added as a harmless insult.

"What will you do if it were to stay this way?" Ai asked softly, her small smile reappearing on her face.

Conan raised his eyebrows and cast a wary look on the strawberry blond sitting across the table. "What do you mean?"

There was a pause before Ai, not once taking her eyes off Conan, replied, "I mean what I mean."

Conan scoffed and rolled his eyes. "I see the case doesn't bother you."

"What do you not understand about the case?" Ai asked in a tone as if everything about the case was the most obvious thing in the world. "She shot her dead sister's boyfriend right in front of your eyes. She didn't run away but waited for the police to come and arrest her. She stated no reason for the murder, but she accepted her sentence with grace. What outcome could be more perfect and what case simpler, Sherlock?"

"You mean what you mean," Conan reminded Ai as he sat up straight, placed his arms on the table, and leaned forward, looking into the girl's eyes. "'I've done what I've come to do,'" he quoted the murderer with an eerie, quiet voice, "is what she said. And that is not a reason for committing a crime – no, let me speak. Before that, she asked us what difference it would make to her sentence if she told us her reason. Therefore, there is a reason, Haibara, just like there is something you meant when you asked that question."

"But you don't know what the reason is, just like you don't know what the something is," Ai finished for him much to his annoyance, for her tone carried more ridicule than needed. "Maybe when you find out what I meant, you'll find out why she killed him."

"Do you know why she killed him?"

Ai flashed a benign smile. "No. I don't know why she killed him." She paused and he made a face in response. "May – " A loud clatter and several squeals accompanied by laughter came from the kitchen, interrupting her and causing the two of them to turn their heads toward the closed door.

"What was that?" Conan asked but received no answer from Ai, who slid off her chair and headed for the kitchen. Okay, he thought, never mind. He jumped to his feet and was about the hurry after the girl when his cellphone rang and startled him. From the corners of his eyes, he could see her stop and turn to look at him as he fumbled for the phone. After a glance at the number, he lifted his gaze and their eyes met. She lifted her chin slightly, and he rushed out the front door, grabbing his bowtie on the way.

-x-

"Shinichi?"

"Hi, Ran," Conan greeted through the bowtie, his voice as shaky as Ran's. "What's up?" he forced himself to ask.

"Uh..." A nervous chuckle.

Conan could imagine Ran twisting the telephone line and biting her lip while deciding on what to say next. No, how to say what she wanted to say next. He wondered if her heart was pounding like his: afraid. But of different things. Taking in a deep breath, he asked, "Well?"

"Ahh, sorry," Ran said quickly. "I, uh... You... You! Shinichi, do you have time next Saturday?"

Next Saturday. Conan felt his heart sink. "I-I... Ran, I..." He tightened his grip on the phone as his voice trailed off.

There was a pause. "I guess you don't have time, then?" Ran said softly, and he could picture her with a sad and disappointed smile. It was her eighteenth birthday that he'd be missing, after all.

"I..." He knew that he should apologize, because anything else said would be inappropriate. And he didn't want to make a promise he couldn't fulfill. But he was afraid that with an apology, he'd close off any possibility left. He'd find some way, he told himself. He would. They were already working on it. "Hey, listen up. What do you want for your birthday?"

"I want you to be here. I want to see you, Shinichi."

No hesitation at all, he noted. He knew that getting her any other present would not suffice but only serve to upset her further. He leaned his back against the door and slid down to the ground. I'm sorry, he said in his mind, I don't think I'll be able to make it.

"You didn't even come back for your own birthday, stupid!" Ran continued, beginning to sound displeased and beginning to ramble. It made him smile, however, even though he felt guilty. At least she wasn't keeping things bottled up. "But that was your birthday. And nobody cares about your birthday. I don't even know why I bothered. All those for nothing! And now... You know what? I don't care anymore whether you come or not." She sniffled. "Have fun investigating your case!" And the line went dead.

What now? he wondered as he ended the call and switched off the phone. What now? Ever since her call to him on his birthday and the disappointment then, he'd been afraid that the same or perhaps something worse would happen for her birthday. Haibara had suggested that they could try to do something to compensate for his absence somehow, but neither of them had been particularly moved by the idea. Ran, of course, would pretend that she was content and cooperate, in a sense, but that wasn't what he wanted to see. What now?

The door behind him flew open and he lost his balance and fell flat on his back. Blinking his eyes to adjust to the lights in the room, he found himself lying at Ayumi's feet. He looked at her.

"You okay, Conan-kun?" Ayumi asked. He nodded. "In that case, dinner!" she announced, grinning, and ran off, presumably, to the dining room. He could tell that she was thoroughly amused by his falling-over. Mentally thanking – sarcasm dutifully noted here – Haibara for sending Ayumi to call him (what if he was still on the phone, dammit?), he stood up and went to join the others at the table.

The food was simple and not very appealing. Most of the sushi was out of shape. If anything was cut, it was badly done. And Conan swore that something was burnt. Next Saturday, he decided, Haibara is doing the cooking. Yet, he couldn't help but smile and appreciate the effort of those three spending almost an entire afternoon to prepare such a feast. Really. If they practiced a little more, they might actually produce a decent meal for the surprise party that they – the three of them – were planning for Ran.

"Ran-neechan's birthday is next Saturday," he'd thrown out there a couple days ago, hoping that someone, something would inspire him to come up with a killer idea to make Ran happy. He hadn't expected the three of them to catch on to the event and become such enthusiasts. Well, they were sincere, and that relieved him. Who knew?

Before he sat down at the table, he caught sight of his reflection in the dark window. Behind him stood Ai, who took no notice of him. Maybe she didn't see him looking at her through the reflection. It wasn't that he didn't have an idea. Since Ran's call to celebrate his birthday, he'd had one that he knew would work, possibly, but one to which Ai would object. So he'd reserved it as the last resort, not to be used unless someone's life was on the line. He turned away from the reflection and sat down right across the table from Ai. Again, she took no notice; she was talking to Agasa. Nobody's life was at stake, not now anyway, he reminded himself, but...

"Why are you discussing this with me?" Ai'd asked when he'd brought up Ran's birthday last week.

"Because you're capable of understanding. I've known you long enough to know that," he'd responded. He hadn't been sure of her true reaction, for she'd just kind of scoffed and smiled and shaken and nodded her head at the same time. She'd looked away after that, and in the end, she'd replied nothing verbal.

"Yoshida-san made lemon pie for you," Ai said after taking a sip of her water, as if to wake him up from the memories and to leave them.

"Cool," he responded automatically. "Thanks."

-x-

He waited till Ayumi, Mitsuhiko, and Genta had gone home and after she'd put the dishes away before he entered the doorway of the kitchen to talk to her. When she noticed his presence, she raised her eyebrows and looked at him inquiringly.

"Can I ask you a favor?" he asked at last.

She crossed her arms. "You can. I just may not do it."

"Look. I'm serious."

"So am I."

A pause. Then he sighed. Looking away, he said, "The temporary antidote." He looked up to take in her reaction so that he could act accordingly, but she was expressionless. Just staring at him. He wondered how he appeared to her. "Can you give me one? The temporary antidote to APTX?"

She continued to stare at him. He felt as if her gaze was becoming harder, but he wasn't sure. He took in a deep breath and went through all the possible answers from her, ready to counter her arguments, to persuade her –

"Why?" she asked.

He blinked. Not "No"? Not "You're out of your mind"? Not "It's too dangerous, moron"? Or would these just come after he answered her question? He swallowed. "Why do I want the temporary antidote?" He took her lack of response as a sign to continue. "I..." He turned his head away, all of the sudden losing the long list of reasons he'd had in his mind. "I know I don't really have a good reason, but – it's Ran's birthday and... she – I just want to, okay?" He looked into the strawberry blond's eyes. "I know it's lame, and I know you're afraid that I'd run off to some case, but I promise – I'm willing to take the risk. It'll be my responsibility solely!"

She stared. "What exactly are you trying to say?"

He paused. "I want Ran to be happy on her birthday. And she wants to see me... as Shinichi. I know every reason that I shouldn't use the temporary antidote, but just for that one day, I don't want to see her cry." He looked at Ai, who seemed to be thinking. Knowing from the past few times he'd asked for her favor, he added, "Please, Haibara? I'll do whatever you want."

She looked up and frowned, if not narrowed her eyes, for a second. "The antidote can't be bought or exchanged for, Kudo-kun," Ai responded with precision and began to head out the kitchen. "Temporary antidotes are especially costly and useless."

He frowned at her answer, turned, and shouted after her, "What am I supposed to do then?" Maybe he was asking for too much.

She turned around, saw his eyes, and suppressed a sigh. "I'll think about it."