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The general's quarters were spacious, if basic. The building was a standard military grade structure of slabs of reinforced concrete, accented by decorative brick which bordered the double-sized entrance doors and windows. Leia had never been one to flaunt her status or drown in excess, and it showed in the building. From the outside it barely differed from the buildings around it. Inside it was only slightly more apparent that it housed someone of importance. The entrance foyer was large and pleasant, lit by large windows and a reinforced skylight. The General's rooms were located at the back of the building, while a dining area bordered one side of the garden and the guest rooms bordered the other. A spacious and comfortable sitting area was situated to the side of the foyer at the front of the building.

Kylo did not spend much time observing any of it. He was beginning to feel flighty, an excess fluttering in his bones making him shake. As soon as Han showed led him to the guest hall and showed him the rooms, five in all, he stalked out one for himself and locked himself inside, ignoring Han's voice as his father called after him.

Standing just inside the door he eyed the room warily, taking in every detail he could. The entrance area had an armchair set to one side, a lamp standing next to it, and a small table set against the opposite wall with an idyllic painting of a forest hanging above it. The second room was larger, containing a modestly sized bed at just right of center and a desk and chair against the far left wall next to a large dresser. The door to the refresher was on the left as well, and two curtained windows bordering the bed let the afternoon sun in. Kylo paused at the threshold between front room and inner room, feeling foolish yet unable to keep himself from inspecting every aspect of the rooms with the Force. Foolish, and yet he couldn't help but think - maybe someone had recognized them, maybe someone had come to these rooms first, was lying in wait, maybe…

The rooms were empty of any life, however. He allowed himself to relax a bit. The windows drew his attention however, and after a moment he reached out with the Force and slowly drew down the blinds. The sunlight muted, and the shadows in the room deepened, but he felt somewhat safer.

Only somewhat. He was in the middle of the main Resistance compound, a man hated and reviled across the galaxy, a fugitive that some would prefer to see dead rather than captured. Many. Many would prefer that. Despite his parent's hopes, he knew his future was bleak there. He was surrounded by enemies.

Once again, Kylo considered leaving, the thought tantalizing when compared to his current whereabouts. Not doable, however, not at his current state. His body shook, his limbs felt heavy and weightless at the same time. He felt worn through; he found it hard to believe that he had ever felt strong. Despite his misgivings about the compound, he needed it, and his mother's protection. He needed to recuperate, to find himself, to find the power that had been locked away from him. Once he got himself back to somewhat normal, he promised himself, he would leave and never look back. Again.

For the moment, he pulled off the jacket he wore and kicked off his boots. He should wash, probably, but he couldn't find the energy. The adrenaline that had been pushing him along for the past few days was draining away at the false sense of security. He'd rest a moment, he decided as he lay on the bed, then he'd wash. Then work on himself. Then plan…

Kylo woke with a start. Darkness greeted him, deep and unkind. He scrambled off the bed, falling to the floor heavily. His mind reeled - how long had it been this time - where was he - what a dream he'd had! Dim light reached him as his eyes adjusted, and he jolted back to the present. Still crouched on the floor, he fought to steady his breathing and slow his pounding heart, then lurched to his feet and headed to the refresher. He found the sink in the darkness, turned on the taps and let the water run. The sound of it rushing out of the faucet and gurgling down the drain gave him something to focus on, to center on. After a moment he dipped his hands in the icy stream and splashed it onto his face, letting the chill bite deep and shock him back to steady. He turned the water off, breathed deeply and slowly as he let the last of the water drip off of his face.

He headed back into the bedroom, still feeling flighty, his skin twitching and his mind whirling. Pacing the length of the room, feeling out for obstacles with the Force, he tried to remind himself he was no longer in prison, no longer locked up no longer in solitary. He could beat it, he knew he could, if he could only make himself believe the darkness wasn't pressing in around him and stealing the air from his lungs. The dim light filtering through the window blinds helped somewhat, but when he focused on it he was gripped by a sudden and feverous need to run to the windows, throw open the blinds and let whatever light was out there shine in strong and steady. It was only the thought that he could be seen, noticed and recognized that kept him from doing so - and yet, still, he crept across the floor, approached the nearest window. Carefully, he pulled a small section of blinds apart and looked out.

The sky above was dark, the light came from a security light on a nearby building. It was steady and warm and utterly bright. Too bright. Kylo decided that it was a good thing he hadn't followed his original impulse and pulled the blinds open. Too much light wasn't good either, no, it wasn't. He padded away from the window, back towards the center of the room, feeling somewhat more in control of himself.

Comparatively, he reminded himself, he was safer now than he had been since escaping the prison. No one had come knocking down the doors in the dead of night, which would have been the perfect time to catch a person unawares - therefore, he concluded with desperate logic, they hadn't caught on that he was there among them, not yet. For what it was worth, he could assume that the safety would continue until the morning, at least. Afterwards he would he would have to consider his options again - but for now he could try to get some rest.

Decided, Kylo began to walk over to the bed, but stopped himself. The room was still dark, the dim light peeking through the gaps of the blinds barely reached the bed, leaving it mostly in shadow. Eyeing the room critically, he returned to the refresher and turned on the light there, then pulled the door almost closed so only a thin sliver of light escaped. Walking to the bed finally, he sat on it and glanced around the room; the light from the refresher outlined the furniture, gave shape to the walls. There was darkness, for the light was faint, but the darkness was no longer formless and all-encompassing. Somewhat more relieved, Kylo pulled the covers back and settled to sleep again.

He'd slept deeply, and woke to the patter of rain on the windows. He washed finally, and reluctant to put back on the worn and stained clothes he'd been wearing, he put on a day robe he found in the room's dresser instead. The day felt odd, the world seemed too calm and too real, but the sound of the rain soothed him with its gentle rhythm. He found himself jittery still, the edges of his body feeling intangible, difficult to grasp. He needed to mentally ground himself somehow, and the best way he knew of was through meditation.

Seating himself on the floor in the center of the room, he closed his eyes and felt for the Force. It flowed around him, eddying in pools and swirling in long, slow waves. That was how it seemed to him, at least. Luke had told him once, when he was much younger, that those who used the Force found their own way of recognizing it. For Kylo, it was an ocean, not the beating waves on shore but the mingling currents of the deep, folding into and over itself, splitting and reforming. Steadying his breathing and allowing the Force to enter his mind and body, he gave himself up to it and let his mind go empty.

The ebb and flow of the Force rocked him, pulsed through out him, and he worked to focus on it, to make it all he knew and felt in that moment. He hadn't meditated so strongly in a long while - not since before the prison, and it had been somewhat difficult before that. While his room on the Finalizer had been customized for him, the ship was constantly moving through Force streams as it sped through space, and the flux of it made truly deep meditation difficult for him, though he'd eventually learned to manage it. But when it came to prison… the space was all wrong, everything was stiff and stifling, and the more energy he poured into forging a connecting with the Force, the closer he came to activating the manacles and implant.

When he was very young and only learning to focus on the Force, to allow himself to fall into the deep contemplation of it, he was plagued by a peripheral hyper-awareness. Anything and everything, the tiniest of distractions, could wrench him out of his silent reverie and back to the harshness of the physical and tangible world around him. It had grated on him badly - indeed, it may have been the beginning of his foul tempers and unrestrained outbursts. He'd conquered that fault eventually, but after his nerve wracking stay in the prison he found it coming back to haunt it once more.

Despite himself, despite how deeply he wanted to let go and relax into the waves of it, he could not keep his mind from wandering from the Force's flow. Something was tapping at his awareness, the low almost inaudible hum of the lights or the filtered and barely-there sounds of the world outside…

Breathing out irritably, he opened his eyes and glanced around the room. Maybe the flow was wrong. Perhaps, he could redirect it somehow. Sometimes it felt like the Force caught around objects, as if it were as physical as the world itself, or maybe the physical world projected into the Force's space - whatever it was, it wouldn't flow correctly. He wouldn't be able to feel it correctly. Rising to his feet, Kylo eyed the furniture in the room. All movable. First the desk - he moved it out to the front room, along with the chair. The dresser he pushed to the corner near the door to the refresher. He finished with the bed, shoving it across to the other side of the room and into a corner. That cleared the center of the room, and Kylo returned to his previous spot, seating himself once again on the floor.

He found that the flow was somewhat better, and whether it was all in his head or not he could tap into the Force much more easily. The swell of it surrounded him and he relaxed into it once again, emptying his mind. It was familiar, and after such a long time without it he was almost overwhelmed by the emotions that struck him. The Force had always been with him, had become the one constant in his life that he could always turn to. Until they'd taken it away, forced him to repress his connection to the Force, forced him to deny himself the one thing that made him who he was.

Deep breath in, deep breath out. He wouldn't allow himself to be distracted by those sorts of thoughts, not right then, when he was finally able to freely touch the Force again. Better to relive the good moments, to think of how it felt to have the Force under his control again, to wield it once more.

That thought brought him back to the Rodian, however, and that lack of enjoyment that had followed. Yes, he had his power again, but using it against others, taking control of others no longer gave him the same sense of accomplishment that it had. Even remembering the look on Mir's face afterwards, that mix of awe and fear, only brought a bitter taste to his mouth. Would he ever feel joy at his connection with the Force again?

The thought passed fitfully, and in its wake an image coalesced in his mind's eye, accompanied by the feeling of something deep and foreboding. A dusty, chill planet spun beneath him - winds howled over crumbling ruins - desolate landscapes swept past him. He jolted mentally, reached out to grab hold of those images, those feelings, yet they were gone almost as quickly as they had come - gone, and leaving behind the oddest feeling that he'd been touched.

It was unwelcome, strangely familiar, and his skin prickled as he shuddered. He kept those fleeting images in his mind, however, attempting to understand what they meant, and where they'd come from. Was it a message to him? Where, and from whom, could it have come from if it was? Perhaps he'd caught the stray memories if some long-lost Force-sensitive soul, too weak to become a Force ghost yet too strong to completely dissolve into the ether. It had happened to him before - Snoke had mentioned it was an odd gift- yet it had only happened rarely, and never as vividly as this time. If it was a stray memory, his search would end soon enough, but if it wasn't, if he could somehow follow the images, then perhaps…

A loud knocking on the door jolted him out of his concentration.

"There's food in the dining room if you want it," Han called through the door. Kylo could feel him linger a moment before walking on, apparently not expecting a response. Fists clenched, he scowled at the door darkly. What was he, ten again? Needing to be reminded of basic human necessities? He'd go and eat when he felt like it, not when they told him to. And just then he had every intention of going the rest of the day without eating, just for spite - was he ten again indeed? Even spite was not a good enough reason to deny himself the things he needed to recover, however. Besides, he told himself, this would be real food, not spaceship fare, and that was enough to entice him.

Rising to his feet, he reached out tentatively to scan the building. Han and Leia were in the dining room, no doubt settling down for the meal, but otherwise the rooms were empty. Truthfully Kylo didn't like the idea of facing both of them at once, there was still a bit of a uncomfortable feeling that washed over him when he remembered where he was and in whose presence he was staying, but he didn't quite like the idea of eating a cold meal either. He refused to go out there in a day robe, however, and though the clothes he had worn were still unwashed and rumpled, he felt they were the better choice. Once dressed he headed out of the room, taking his time on the way to the dining room.

Leia and Han were seated at the head of the table, and they looked up at him as he came into the room. Ignoring their looks and greetings, he inspected the room itself. Roughly two and half times larger than the guest room he'd taken, it had four large windows set in the far wall and two separate doors that opened back onto the hallway. Another door, set far in back and to the side, seemed to lead to the kitchen. The table stood at the center of the room, and the food was laid out on platters on a smaller buffet table standing against the wall between the two entry doors.

The scent of the food was tantalizing, and he took a plate from the end of the table and loaded it, unable to completely mask his eagerness. There were meat rolls he knew would be stuffed with a spicy vegetable mixture, corkscrew pasta tossed in a white sauce with sea scallops, deep fried legume strips in gravy - he fought back the pang of nostalgia and appreciation that welled up suddenly, refusing to allow himself to dwell on how most of the dishes laid out had been his favorites once.

Tactically, the dinner table was in a horrible spot. After another quick glance at the room, Kylo seated himself towards the end of the table, on the far side from his parents. His back was to the the windows but he had a commanding view of both the doors leading out to the hallway and the door on the other end of the room that led to the kitchens. No one would be able to sneak up on him.

"How did you like your room?" Leia asked from across the table.

"It was adequate," Kylo responded, not looking in her direction. Even her voice alone was enough to stagger him somewhat; his mind was remembering, and his memories were unkind, attempting to make him relax, to make him enjoy the feeling of being wanted again.
Don't you remember, they seemed to croon, they said they'd always love you, no matter what - and haven't they kept that promise? Haven't they taken you back?
No, Kylo told them, first they'd deserted me, first they'd gotten rid of me.

The memories refused to disappear, merely fading into the background, but he refused to allow them to sway him. He clung to what had been his lifeline for so many years - the feelings of loss, of betrayal, and the anger that had followed. It had served him well so far - hadn't he thought that before, of other things? - It would continue to serve him - and had it really taken him where he'd wanted to be?

Forcing the warring thoughts out of his mind, he instead turned his attention to his food, devouring it with a speed that bordered on desperation. He barely tasted anything he put in his mouth, he needed to be out of that room and away from anyone else, to be alone, to recover without distraction.

"Ben," Leia said suddenly, a beginning to a sentence. Kylo tensed, feeling her move closer to him, and he looked up from his nearly empty plate as she neared. She stayed on the far side of the table, as if worried she may spook him, and sat across from him. He hadn't seen her properly in years, even during the trial they had been refused any close contact. As with his father he found her older, gray haired and looking worn by the passage of time. Beyond that, however, was a will of steel and a strength of character few possessed, he could see it still. He'd loved her - he truly had - and he'd been intimidated by her as well. That much he'd allow himself to admit.

"How are you?" Leia said. The question wasn't enough to encompass everything she'd like to ask, like to say, but it seemed to be all she could manage at the moment. Kylo eyed her for a moment.

"Fine." He responded simply. They both knew it to be a lie, but Leia didn't look surprised.

"You know I'd like to talk with you," Leia said softly, pausing only a moment on seeing Kylo's frown, "And I know you don't want to. I suppose there's no reason to pretend otherwise."

She didn't quite sound defeated, and Kylo was certain that wasn't the end of it.

"I do have something I need to tell you," Leia continued, "I received a message from Luke yesterday. He has been travelling with Rey the past few months, but he's cutting their travels short and returning here, to D'Qar."

Kylo realized his hands were trembling. He clenched them into fists to steady them and forced himself to breathe. Eyeing his mother warily, he asked, "Did you tell him?"

"No," Leia said, "I told him nothing, but it can't be a coincidence that he'd decide to return now."

"I don't want to see him," Kylo hissed. He didn't want to be there anymore. Going to D'Qar had been a horrible idea, he never should have listened to his father.

"I know," Leia said. "And I'll tell him that when he gets here."

Useless. If Luke wanted to get to him there was nothing his mother could do, nothing any of them could do. No, Kylo thought, there was one thing he could do - leave. Now, before Luke got any closer to him. He could leave, get on the ship and get away. Go somewhere, anywhere, maybe Gree perhaps.

"No," Leia said with such vehemence it jolted him out of his whirling thoughts. "You won't be leaving. You don't have to leave. You're fine here, Ben, you're safe."

Kylo stared at her in silent bemusement; not for the first time he wondered if his mother hadn't had some Force powers of her own. Too often had she seemed to read his mind…

Uneasy, Kylo glanced at his father from the corner of his eye. Han looked slightly disinterested, he hadn't said a word during the whole exchange, but Kylo could sense that his attention was fully on them. On him. Maybe his parents had decided on this beforehand, the division of conversation.

"That's not entirely true," Kylo said finally, looking back at his mother, "But I'll stay for now."

Until he thought of a way out of it all, he added silently.

Leia accepted his statement wordlessly, and then asked, "Is there anything you need?"

To be left alone, Kylo thought.

"Clothes would be helpful," He said aloud. With that he rose from the table, anxious to be out if the room and away from the possibility of more conversation.

"Leaving already?" Han spoke finally. He didn't sound pleased.

"Yes," Kylo said tonelessly, and headed for the door, "I'm tired."

He returned to his room, his body thrumming with anxious anticipation. If Luke had sent the message the afternoon before, and now it was almost midday, it couldn't be much longer before... He could be very close now, indeed. Kylo paced inside the room, from one wall to the other. Unable to hold himself back, desperate to be forewarned, he sent his senses racing through the Force in an attempt to track the man. If Luke was in hyperspace, his search would be in vain; Kylo knew of no one who could track a person moving that quickly through space, even Snoke had been incapable of it. And yet he tried anyway, stretching his mind out along the pathways the Force created, searching for any ripple in the currents that would give him Luke's location. He poured so much of himself into the act that the throbbing started again in his head, the precursor to the implant's full activation. Still he wanted to press onward - maybe he should let the implant activate. Let the pain rise to blackout levels, let it knock him into unconsciousness, grant him a few more hours before he'd have to face the inevitable…

No, he caught himself and pulled back. He wouldn't let Luke see him like that. As much as Kylo wanted the man to see what his actions had done, he refused to appear so broken and helpless in his presence.
And so he waited.

It was nearly night when the knock came at his door. Kylo had been seated at the edge of the bed, eyeing that pale rectangle across from him for hours. He'd felt Luke and Rey arrive hours earlier, and the silence since then unnerved him. No doubt his parents had been speaking to Luke, possibly trying to explain away the situation somehow.

It did not matter then; Luke was there, behind the door.

Kylo stood, but he did not move towards the door. He opened it all the same, unwilling to drag the moment out any longer. Luke stood behind it, silent and unreadable. He stepped in, walked with steady tread through the front room to stand before Kylo. He was shorter, yet even with the height advantage Kylo couldn't help but feel that he was the one looking up at Luke. For a long moment neither of them said anything; Luke regarded him with an uncompromising look, his gaze darkening. His disapproval became palpable as he spoke, a cloud thickening the air.

"I won't lengthen this conversation by saying what I think of think of this," Luke said, his voice low. "I would have come sooner if Leia and Han had not insisted on speaking with me first."

"I'd begun to think you were avoiding me," Kylo said. Luke frowned, his gaze darkening. Kylo watched him stonily, unwilling to show a trace of emotion on his face.

"We have spoken with the New Republic Council, they are anxious to have you in their custody again," Luke said evenly, his frown unchanging. Kylo tensed at the thought, but kept his emotions from showing in his face. Not that it mattered much, Luke had always been able to feel him out.

"No, you are not returning to them, not yet at least." Luke continued, reading his nervousness. "Han's return -" and there, a flicker of emotion from Luke, gone in an instant - "has swayed some councillor's feelings towards you."

"But not yours," Kylo couldn't help but to interject. Luke was unsurprised.

"No," He replied tonelessly, "but then, I know you and they do not."

Kylo felt the sharp retort rise at the back of his mind and shoot to his tongue, but he bit it back, waiting and listening to discover what fate had been handed him.

"Leia, Han, and I have been asked to attend a meeting on Coruscant to discuss this matter further. You may have saved Han, for whatever reason, but you also facilitated the escape of the worst war criminal of this generation. In light of your past actions, they do not look on it lightly." Luke eyed him critically. "They had wanted you present as well, however both Han and Leia were vehemently against the idea. The council decided you would be allowed to stay here as long as we can assure you do not leave the compound grounds."

If staying put kept him out of prison, Kylo was willing to put up with it for the time being. All he needed was a little time, after all.

"That is a simple enough request to fulfill," Kylo said slowly, certain it couldn't be quite so easy, "I will just remain in these quarters then."

"You know how little your word matters in this case," Luke said, dryly, "Therefore the council has requested that you be guarded at all times by another Force user."

Another Force user, and if Luke was to attend the meeting there was only one person he could mean-

"Rey will move into a guest room tomorrow morning, and will remain here until we have returned. Additionally..." Luke paused then, and his face darkened for a moment. Kylo tensed again, his skin prickling at the sudden change in the atmosphere of the room, "Additionally, the representatives who are arriving in the morning to take us to the council meeting will bring with them the remote…"

Luke's voice trailed off, but he didn't need to say more. Kylo felt the chill like an arctic blast, the facade he'd so carefully put in place cracking at the mere implication of Luke's words…

"No," He said, feeling the tremors begin in his fingers, spread up his arms and throughout his body. His voice shook, he couldn't help it, "She won't need that."

"It was not my decision," Luke said gravely. Anger flared up within Kylo, sputtering but hot.

"You- they only knew it was even possible because of YOU," Kylo growled.

"The libraries on Coruscant held the information, and I was only asked to consult, not decide… I'd recommended the manacles, yes, but no more than that," Luke said slowly, voice as grave as before, "You don't believe me, of course, but I argued against the implant. Even for you."

Kylo didn't believe him.

"Go!" He spat, fists clenched in an attempt to halt that terrible tremor. He couldn't stand looking at Luke anymore, couldn't stand anything anymore. "Leave me!"
Luke didn't move, watched him in silence, face becoming impassive and unreadable once again.

"We will talk again when I return," He said after a long moment.

"Just leave!" Kylo refused to turn away, refused to retreat. He wouldn't give Luke that satisfaction, not even then, with his mind racing through the thoughts of what could happen now - what could happen with the remote so near him once again. He gritted his teeth and glared at his uncle, watching as Luke turned and left, step as steady and measured as before.

The moment the door closed he let out the sob he'd been holding in, struggled in vain to keep his breath from running ragged and fast. Stumbling to the refresher, he climbed into the tub and collapsed into the base of it, pressing his face against it's cool wall as he worked to get his racing mind under control.

The remote was a precaution, nothing more… It wouldn't be like, like before… it wouldn't… He told himself, over and over, it wouldn't be like before, until he finally began to believe it.

Heart still racing but mind somewhat subdued, he forced himself to let go of thoughts, to push away feelings. One day at a time, until he was strong enough again. Tomorrow came first, and then the day after...

One day at a time...