Being with Brittany was so amazing. In her whimsical magical world everything was good and anything was possible. Well, there was that and then there was the sex. Yes, being with her was being in a dream, sometimes it was a very hot and wet dream and sometimes a sparkling cotton-candy type of dream. It seemed to Sam like the rest of the world didn't matter, like he didn't care as long as he was with her. The apocalypse could not have come at a better time.
December 22. The world was still around. Sam guessed there was no way around it anymore. He stared at the text one last time before sending it.
"I'm not coming home for xmas."
Just as he had expected his phone went off just moments later. He let it go to voice mail. It rang again. He took a deep breath before picking it up.
"Yeah?"
"Sam... honey? What's going on?" Mary didn't sound mad. She sounded worried.
"I'm not coming home for Christmas."
"Sam, that's crazy. Thanksgiving was one thing, but this is Christmas."
"I know it's Christmas, mom."
"I don't understand. What's going on with you? You don't pick up your phone, you never call and now this. What's this about?"
"Okay I'm mad at you. There. I said it!"
"Okay. That's fine. What are you mad about?"
"I'm mad because you suck. You weren't supposed to suck, but you did, and now everything sucks."
"Sam!" she was quiet for a moment and when she spoke again the sudden harshness had left her voice. "I'm sorry – I'm sorry you feel that way. But whatever this is we can work it out, okay? Please come home and we'll talk about it."
"No, I don't want to."
"How 'bout if I came to you? I'll drive up there first thing tomorrow morning. And then we can talk if you want. Would that be okay with you?"
"I guess..."
"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow, sweetheart."
"Yeah."
…
It was well before 10 am and Sam was still in bed when the Hudson-Hummel doorbell rang. He got up and put some pants and an old tee shirt on while Carole brought his mom upstairs. There was a soft knock on the door.
"Sam? Can I come in?"
"Yeah."
"Can I give you a hug?"
Sam nodded. Mary wrapped her arms around him, and pulled him in tight. Sam buried his face in her neck. He wanted to be five years old again, just a little boy who'd hurt his knee and could crawl up in her lap. And she would put on a band-aid, kiss it and make it all better. But he wasn't five years old anymore and nothing could make it better. Still he clung tight to her and Damn it! now he was crying. And he actually felt a little better.
"You know I'm still mad at you," Sam sniffled into her hair.
"I know," Mary nodded as she broke the hug to look him in the eye, "you wanna tell me why?"
"No. And it makes me even madder that I can't talk to you about it."
"What are you talking about, of course you can."
"No, because you think it's wrong that I feel this way and you probably think I deserve this, and..." Sam sat down heavily on his bed.
"Hey, honey calm down," Mary sat down beside him and put her arm around his shoulders. "You never ever deserve to be unhappy. Will you tell me what's going on with you?"
Sam moved back a bit and turned towards her. "I don't know... Well, yeah, you know, I'm with Brittany now, I mean we're dating. And she's a girl, as you know. I guess you don't know that we got married and – "
"What? Sam – "
"No, it's okay mom, let me finish – yeah, so anyway, then the apocalypse didn't happen or whatever and it didn't count, so I don't know if we'll ever get married again. I mean, I have no idea what will happen with us in the future. But it wont change anything. You know?"
"So you're not married?"
"No, but that's not the point!" Sam stood up again. "The point is... " Fuck, this was harder than he'd thought.
"It's okay."
Sam was silent for a minute or two, pacing the floor, searching his brain for what to say. "Okay, here's the thing..." he took a deep breath before he continued. "You know mom, what you said – the way you acted – when I told you – y'know – about... Josh. I know we never really talked about it since, but you really made me feel like shit. You made me doubt everything! You could have supported me. I could have..." yeah, what exactly?
"I know, honey..."
"No! No, you don't know! The point is you don't get to decide! You don't get to decide who I'm with. Hell, I don't even get to decide so why should you? You don't know anything! You don't get it. You don't get that it hurts. More than anything. He doesn't want to be with me. I'm just a huge coward and he doesn't want to be with me."
"I'm so sorry, Sam." Now Mary was the one to take a deep breath before continuing. "You're right. We were wrong."
"Really?"
"I had never really thought about it before, and it kind of scared me. I hadn't thought about it because I'd never had to and when I did – when we did, we didn't know how to."
"But why didn't you say anything?"
"Thing is, I think I only realized this just now. I think I've kind of imagined it was something you were going through – a phase perhaps. And then you didn't bring it up again either, so I – we just assumed it was gone, I guess."
"You hoped, you mean?"
"I'm sorry, I know we've been – I've been really bad with this."
Sam sat down on the bed again and turned towards her. "You know mom, Brittany is...she's bi... too. And she's so cool about it and I guess I think that's the way I would want to be. And I'm kinda starting to get there but I think I sort of just... I really need you guys to be cool with that."
"We are – we will be."
"Dad too?"
"To be honest I don't know how he feels about it now, we haven't talked about it in a long time. But it's going to be alright, I promise. He loves you so much, y'know. We both do."
"Mom, don't cry."
"It's gonna be alright, Sam." Mary reached out for his hand and held it in both of hers. "This isn't about your father and me, this is about you. All we really want is for you to be happy."
"Yeah, me too, I guess," despite himself Sam gave her a crooked smile, and she smiled her warm one back.
"Do you want to tell me about this boy? Does he have a name?"
"Um... it's Blaine."
"Oh." There was a few seconds of silence before she asked, "Does he know how you feel?"
"Yes! Well, yes we talked, and he... I didn't expect anything else."
"I'm really sorry, honey." She stroked his hand. "Can I ask you one thing though?"
Sam shrugged, "I guess."
"What about Brittany? Do you think you should be together with her if you're really... in love..." Mary studied his face, "with someone else?"
Sam squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and took a deep breath before he could answer. "The thing with Britt is that she gets me – and I think that I get her. We make each other happy."
Blaine scrolled through the conversation he'd had with Sam over the last few days. From when Sam had finally answered his desperate "Please be alive" text, to Sam's intricate explanations of how the world was supposed to have ended, that made sense in a very Sam way, and how of course one couldn't be expected to go to school at a time like that, to the final one from today. "It's snowing!" Blaine smiled at his vision of three blond kids – one very much taller than the others – tumbling down a hill in their sleds, screaming with laughter, wrestling in the snow. It was early on Christmas morning and Blaine couldn't sleep. Tonight hadn't gone at all as he'd expected. Hanging out with Kurt had been fun and easy, they'd had a great time; he was lying on the couch in the living-room partition of Kurt and Rachel's apartment – he was right where he'd wanted to be. But his mind was hundreds of miles away. He hadn't seen Sam for almost a week. And now with himself, Sam and Sam's girlfriend all in different states he found he wasn't able to stop thinking about him. The thought of Sam peacefully asleep under his Star Wars covers made him smile. Blaine closed his eyes. Sam, his smile – that beautiful gorgeous smile, the feeling of it against his lips... It sent a flush of heat through him but it made his heart ache. How had he ended up here? So far away from the one he loved. Because he did – he couldn't hide that from himself anymore. But he had been right – it had been what, a week? – two? – before Sam and Brittany were officially an item. So he had been right, hadn't he? Then again that wasn't even it. He hadn't said the smallest fraction of what he'd wanted to say to Sam that night. And he hadn't been able to fix it – because there was nothing else he could have said. And it was still there. Everything he'd felt back in the auditorium. When he'd wanted nothing more than to kiss Sam, but felt like he might die if he did. There was a little light flashing green in the darkness.
"Merry xmas B!"
"Merry xmas Sam :)"
"When are you coming back?"
"I guess I'll be back for school."
"You won't be here for New Year's?"
"No, I know. I just, I was able to get a lot of shifts at DQ and I really need that... and it's actually really nice to be here."
"Yeah? That's good. You really miss them, huh?"
"Yeah. I mean, I never really thought of this place like home before, but now for the first time it kind of feels like it. And yeah, being away from Stevie and Stacey is killing me – it's like every time I see them they've grown a couple inches."
"I'm sorry, Sam. You gave up so much to come back, leaving your family for Glee Club, and now that's gone..."
"It's not gone. I didn't come back to win a competition, I came back 'cause I couldn't stand being away. I belong at McKinley, in Lima – with you guys."
"So you're really coming back?"
"Of course I'm coming back! It's just a week, Blaine, not even that. I'm working New Year's Eve, but then I'll come home. Okay? Oh! What are you doing for New Year's?"
"I'm... Um, my parents are going away, y'know on some cruise in the Bahamas or whatever."
"What? So you'll be alone for New Year's?"
"Well, no, I guess not. I –"
"Are you gonna have a party?"
"I, yeah, maybe?"
"I hate that I'll miss your awesome party!"
"It's not really going to be awesome if you're not there though. Then it's just like me and Tina and Artie."
"Hey, I should try to get there!"
"Really?"
"I'll talk to mom and dad about it."
There was quite a long pause. Blaine could practically hear Sam gathering himself up to say something, or maybe it was just that he new that Sam was never quiet without good reason.
"Hey, B? You haven't told me about Christmas – did you have a good time? Um, are you and Kurt back together or...?"
"No. No, we're not... not at all actually."
"Oh. I'm sorry."
"No, don't be. It's... I don't... Hm, It's okay. It's good, I think."
"Oh."
"It was like, we could be friends again. And that was kinda great."
"That's, um. Good. That's good."
"Yeah."
"So... I'll check with my parents about New Year's and talk to you later?"
"Yeah."
Was he going to have a New Year's Eve party? He'd been thinking to have Tina and perhaps Artie over, but yeah, why shouldn't he have a proper party or you know at least one for the Glee Club.
"Why aren't you here?"
"Blaine, I'm at work. And you know why."
"But I miss you!"
"Yeah, I wish I could have come."
"Me too!"
"So who's there?"
"Oh, y'know, the usual suspects. Puck is here! And Finn! And some kids I don't really know. Kitty brought like a bunch of people."
"Cheerleaders, huh?"
"Yeah, but guys too! Y'know, Sam, I think I'm drunk. Oh, hey Nate! There's Nate! Nate, say hi to Sam!"
"Um, Blaine? My break's over. I'll call you when I get off, okay? Take it easy, okay B."
"Okay."
Nate studied him as he put his phone away. "So, Sam – is he your boyfriend?"
"Uh, what? Um... no."
"Okay," he smiled. Blaine was fuzzy and warm inside. "So... this is a really cool party, Blaine."
"Um, thanks." Nate's gaze was firm and for a moment Blaine was lost in his dark eyes. "Hey, let's go find drinks!"
Though Blaine might have wished that his first kiss in the new year would be with someone other than a stranger – albeit a handsome one – with every drink and every dance, with every touch and every kiss Nate felt less like one. "It's twenty-freakin'-thirteen and it's gonna be the best year ever!" Dancing, surrounded by friends, making out with a gorgeous guy, he was happy. And he never noticed his phone buzzing in his pocket.
It was closer to two in the morning when Sam pulled into the Anderson driveway, but the house was lit and he heard music and laughter from inside. He passed by a couple of people he didn't recognize in the hallway.
"Babe!" Brittany had spotted him across the living-room dance-floor and was skipping towards him.
"Hey, babe! Mm, I've missed you," he mumbled against her lips. Then he saw Blaine. He was dancing, lost in himself, in the music. God damn it! Being away from Brittany for over a week after the time they'd had as a married couple – well, it had only been four days but they had been really intense four days – he wasn't surprised that just kissing her again did things to him, but it was like it was nothing to what he felt seeing Blaine like that. He was sweaty, which made his curls come out, his eyes closed, his lips slightly parted and the way he moved – he was just so... some guy's hands were on his hips! The touch apparently brought Blaine back to the dance floor and he caught sight of Sam.
"Sam!?" Blaine was already running to him. "Oh my god, Sam!" Beaming he threw his arms around Sam's neck.
Blaine was in his arms, standing on his tiptoes, just laughing as Sam hugged him tight. And there was no trace in his heart of whatever sting of jealousy he'd felt before. He was just happy. So happy.
"What are you doing here?"
"I couldn't miss your awesome party," Sam smiled.
"Well, it is now! Let's go get you a beer! Oh, and shots."
Now Sam was laughing too, "Yes!"
"Wait! Did you drive here all alone in the middle of the night?"
"Yeah," Sam shrugged, "so I really really need a beer now." Sam slung his arm around Blaine's shoulder and slowly they made their way to the kitchen.
"What happened, did you run away?"
"No, though I would have, but they changed their minds or something like that. I think they realized I'm almost an adult."
"Yeah, you are!"
"And so it doesn't make sense for them to not let me go."
"Obviously."
"Because if they hadn't I'd totally run away."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, of course!"
"So, it's finally time for your Christmas present!"
Sam opened the little box, his eyes widened with excitement and he beamed at Blaine, "Is this – is this what I think it is?"
Blaine looked back at him with a wide smile and nodded eagerly.
"Let's go!" Sam tugged at Blaine's sleeve as he got up and sprinted off.
"Sam, wait!" Blaine laughed. "Are you gonna run there?"
"Oh, er, yeah, we should drive back in to town at least, right?" Inside the box was a small key – the kind that opened those little storage boxes down at the train station.
…
"Here it is! 107."
Blaine was excited too, it didn't matter that he knew exactly was was in the locker because Sam's enthusiasm pulled him in and it was almost like he was seeing it with Sam's eyes now.
"Ooh! There's something in here!" Sam produced a small piece of paper with ripped and partly burned edges. Running across it was a dashed line and in the middle there was a sketch. "Whoa, dude! This is so cool! Look! There's you! And that's me and that's my bike and" Sam started to laugh "and there's that little dog and he" Blaine was laughing too now "and he wouldn't stop chasing us and we crashed... into... the... hedge!" There was a few minutes until they were able to stop laughing at that and Sam had caught his breath enough to speak only to start again. "And you had little twigs stuck in your hair for the rest of the day. Oh! Wait! So that's where we're going, right?"
"You figured it all out," Blaine smiled.
Sam was searching the hedge, he figured he had a pretty good idea which was the correct part. "So," he thought out loud "where would a proper pirate hide it?"
"Oh, right!" He could still clearly remember the feeling of Blaine's hands holding on to his waist, "We were just inches from getting ourselves killed hitting that lamppost," and the brief moment of fear before he realized they were both okay. Slowly Sam turned his head up, big downy snowflakes got caught on his lashes and there – at least four feet above his head – was something tied to the post.
"Hold on, you're gonna need these," Blaine handed him his mittens. "You think you can do it or do you want a hand?" Blaine teased.
"I can do it!" Sam snapped in mock offense. He grabbed onto the post and hauled himself up. The snow was making his shoes slip against the metal but his jeans at least provided enough friction for him to keep from sliding down again. He had to rely on the strength in his arms to yank himself further up. He grabbed the small item and dropped back on the ground.
"Yes!" he panted. "Wow! How did you even get that up there?"
"Well, it wasn't snowing yesterday so that made it easier..." Was he blushing? No, it was probably just from the cold.
Sam hurriedly removed the mittens and unscrewed the cap of the little bottle. Rolled up inside was as expected another piece of the torn up treasure map.
"It's Cap! No wait, is it me as the Cap? That's awesome!" Sam fell silent and stared at the paper for a moment. "I don't get it."
"Yes, you do..." Blaine said reassuringly.
"So... why aren't you in the picture..? Bucky!"
"Yes!"
"He was so happy that you were alive – and I was too – and he was licking your face..." – and I wasn't – "and we realized he didn't have his human so we had to help him get home, right?" Blaine was all smiles and nodding his head. "... and it turned out that he'd run like across the street from," Sam turned around and looked up the street, "just up there, that little book shop, right!"
…
"This is seriously one of my favorite places... Oh, there he is! Bucky, bud, how you doing?"
"You know, his name isn't really Bucky..." Sam didn't hear the bookstore lady he was busy getting reacquainted with his furry little friend.
…
"Oh, the little me-dude is blushing, right?" Sam chuckled, "and the you-dude is too. Wait, what's that?"
"Okay, yeah, I know it should have been you to draw these..."
"No, they're brilliant! I just don't... Oh! Yeah, that was embarrassing. I was kinda hoping that you'd forgotten about that."
Blaine smiled, that warm smile that went right into Sam's heart. "No, I could never forget that. It was the best gift I've ever gotten."
"You still got it?"
"Yes, of course! It's in my wallet. Always. Best friends forever, right?"
"Right."
"And you?"
"Yeah... I don't have it on me though." He looked into Blaine's eyes and felt that familiar tug at his heart. "I..."
Blaine broke eye contact. "Shall we go, then?" he asked with a cheerful smile and a clap on Sam's upper arm.
"Yes! This is hands down the best Christmas gift ever, B."