.
The Counselor's headquarters looked no different than a standard principal's office, complete with a long desk, a few chairs, a window, and even a few house plants placed against the walls. The Counselor herself was an olive-skinned woman in her mid-forties, dressed in a white suit and long matching coat, and sitting behind his desk in a tall rotating chair.
Standing before her was a small boy of about eleven years in age, yet the boy was dressed in a light blue suit and black tie and matching black dress shoes. This was no schoolroom; this was a legitimate place of business. And the boy was no ordinary boy, but a fully robotic sentient being by the name of Rock- Commander of the Redemption Squad's Search and Rescue Division.
Counselor Alyx Vance was holding her chin in his folded hands with her elbows pressed on the desk; she looked tired and worn down from time. But there would be no rest for her, now that the squad had a new member to initiate. That was what this meeting was about, of course.
"I've sent the word out to Raz's home world that he's recently been released from that prison dimension," explained the weary-looking counselor. "Unfortunately, we haven't yet caught the person that framed him for violating what they call 'Psychonaut protocol,' so until we crack the case he won't be welcomed back there. I'll arrange for a proper place for him to feel more at home here in the colony. Since you were the one who orchestrated his escape, I'll leave him in your care, Commander."
"Yes Ma'am," nodded Rock.
"Hmph," smirked the tall human. "I figured there'd be no objections."
"Aw, Counselor Vance, I could never leave a child homeless," frowned the robot boy. "I can only imagine what it feels like to not be welcomed on your own planet. Poor guy, he must be really torn up about it."
.
R-I-I-I-I-P, went the pillow that was flying Raz's way; he had used his telekinesis to rip it in half before it made contact with his face.
What started out as a friendly competition in the sleeping quarters of newly homeless youngsters turned into all-out war. Like the other preteens around him, Raz was put in a long and narrow room full of bunk beds, complete with fluffy feathered pillows and quilts. Some of the youngsters had built forts out of said pillows and quilts and even some mattresses, while a team of pillow-armed marauders made it their intention of toppling those forts. Clearly, it was past their bedtime but boredom took over.
On the side of the marauders, Raz began to put his telekinesis to use, but he soon learned the hard way that some of his opponents were sword-wielders in their home worlds. Among the tougher pillow fighters were a spike-haired brunette with a red bandana and a matching scarf named Randi. Another smaller boy with wild orange hair and a large red hat with a pirate emblem in its center named Zack, and he wasn't alone; he had a yellow monkey companion named Wiki, whose acrobatics gave the duo an edge over the fortress holders.
But fighting on the side of the fort defenders was a white-haired boy with no name to speak of from a world known as Bastion; he fashioned a mace made of a stick and a pillow tied to its end, which he used to bat away at the oncoming pillows. And he wasn't alone; Randi's two female companions, Popoie and Purim, used their defensive magic against Raz's team.
It was only a matter of time before the game turned into chaos; pillows became the first ammunition, but when they were worn out the teams moved up to mattresses, then dresser drawers and lamps… then toy weapons.
.
Meanwhile, Commander Rock and Counselor Vance were found walking down a hallway that would lead them to Raz's new sleeping quarters.
"I know you've only known him for a day, Rock, but what are your thoughts on Raz so far?" asked the counselor in a gentle voice.
"Well, he seems pretty tough for such a little guy. I'm aware that he's 'gifted,' but I haven't really seen his talents yet."
.
Raz was yet to be tagged by any of the opposing pillows and toy swords, using his mind powers to hover in the air as though weightless.
"Hey, that's cheating!" shouted one of his opponents.
"It's called strategy," argued the psychic in a smug tone.
The white-haired boy threw his pillow-mace at him while he was gloating, and for once he was knocked to the ground. He landed safely- well, he landed on Zack's back, but he himself was u harmed.
"Man down!" shouted Randi, who was quick to draw a training sword and charged toward the white-haired boy. The two of them tussled; still in play-mode there was no real animosity, but their strengths were enough to knock whole beds off kilter.
.
"And is he getting along with everyone?"
"Oh, gosh yes! You should see him with the other kids; they really love him!"
.
"Hold still so I can KILL you!" raged Zack the boy pirate, as he charged Raz.
Somewhere in the tussle, Raz went rogue and started to telekinetically throw pillows at everybody. Perhaps he accidentally lost his place in the game, or perhaps he took an earlier hit too personally. Either way, he was soon surrounded by young sword masters, but because he could temporarily fly, he was just out of their reach.
.
"Well," sighed Counselor Vance as she and Rock stopped at the doorway of a certain chamber; "I hate putting him in a bedroom full of complete strangers, but everything's happened so fast that we haven't really planned on giving him his own room to call home."
"I'm sure he's okay," Rock assured her. "He's just grateful to be out of that awful prison."
"I hope you're right," said Alyx as she pressed a button by the door, indicating it to unlock.
As the door slid open, a pillow and its feathers went flying passed the heads of the authority figures. Both Alyx and Rock flinched, swaying their heads left and right respectively to not get hit by the fluffy ammunition.
Seeing the children running amok and screaming like headless chickens put a damper on Rock's spirits quite immediately. Alyx, on the other hand, couldn't help but let out a small chuckle.
He had given the rambunctious rascals a few seconds to realize that they were not alone, but seeing as how even the psychic among them was ignoring him and his superior, Rock's patience wore off. "TEN-HUT!" he shouted.
The youngsters were quick to respond by lining up next to each other, most of them covered in feathers. Raz was among the tattered and feathered, spitting out feathers as he saluted his superiors.
"Raz," said Counselor Alyx.
"Yes Ma'am?" peeped the psychic nervously.
"I can arrange a personal living space for you within a few days, if you like."
"I'm okay, Ma'am."
"I've just assigned you to train under Commander Rock and his Search and Rescue Division. Are there any objections?"
"No Ma'am."
"Good." As the woman turned to prepare her departure, she looked down to the blue-suited robot beside her with a coy smile. "He's all yours, Commander… Good luck."
As the counselor marched off, Rock paused to exchange an awkward stare at the messy and obviously restless Raz. As a free-falling pillow feather landed on his head the youthful robot sighed, almost in dread.
Raz made a nervous grin; the feeling of dread was mutual.
..
..
THE REDEMPTION SQUAD
Snodin
.
Level 2:
CRASH COURSE
.
.
On that same afternoon, Commander Rock- still dressed in a blue suit and black tie instead of his more iconic blue armor- walked his new agent Raz around the heart of what appeared to be a small city bubbled by super-thick glass, with deep space peering from the other side. The city was a cluster of hotels and house chains, with narrow roads and walkways. At its center was a massive park, The Gardens as it was called, home to woodland critters both feral and civilized.
The Commander explained, "This is Colony B; this is home to many creatures from all kinds of worlds who've lost their homes to the Erasers, or other evil forces. Colony A is similar, except it's home to the humans who helped built this place. Most people who come here tend to stay, since they have nowhere else to go. But others, like you and me, come and go as we please. Well in your case, you'll stay here until it's safe for you to go back home."
"How many worlds have you seen so far?"
"Me, personally? Let's see…" After doing the math in his mind, Rock declared, "twenty-three, so far. But there are countless worlds out there, I doubt we as a squad have seen them all."
"Wow…"
"Our hope is that one day we'll find a safe home for all of these poor souls who lost their worlds, but that won't be possible with monsters like The Combine and Erasers running around."
"…Combine?" paused Raz. "What's The Combine?"
"An inter-dimensional race," frowned Rock. "Basically, they can warp in and out of worlds like us, but instead of helping worlds they're out to conquer them."
"And the Erasers?"
"They're a bit more mysterious; what we know so far is that they oppose any and all dimensional travel- they think we're somehow destroying the fabric of time and space. But that theory hasn't been proven… at least, not yet."\\\
The conversation sort of stopped there, as the two of them traveled into a far more tranquil section of the colony: The Gardens.
.
As they walked through The Gardens, which looked more like a temperate forest in the middle of a walled-in metropolis, Raz almost lost himself in the peaceful greenery. He could tell that this area was made for those traumatized animal-like creatures who craved native fauna, and could spot one or two anthromorphic animals frolicking through the trees and brush as they passed by.
"So, how does it work around here?" asked a curious Raz. "Are you like, Commander of the whole squad or something?"
"Oh no," replied Rock. "There are five main Divisions- I'm the leader of Search and Rescue only."
"What're the others?"
"Our Divisions ranked by the level of danger: First, there's the Diplomatic Division; they're made up of world leaders, and they basically keep the peace through politics. Then there's the Scout Division, which is how we were able to find you; then there's mine, which does your standard rescue missions. Then there're the Hunters, who track down and arrest dangerous criminals… And finally we have the War Division, which as you can imagine, is our last resort to conflict."
"Okay," nodded Raz, "so you're the leader of your own team… But you only have the three members?"
"Not really," shook the Commander's head. "My friends and I only need a few members for each mission; we only call for backup when it's absolutely necessary. Each member plays a crucial part though: we have at least one gunner- that's Jim, one strongman- Mighty, and one healer- that's Jade. I usually fill in for other members, because I'd rather not endanger any lives."
"What about me? Where do I fit in?"
"We'll need to train you first, for all sorts of situations. You'll be put through both physical and mental tests, and if all goes well, you'll likely wind up as part of my crew, as a wildcard. Though, if I were you, I'd gun for the Scout or Diplomatic Division."
The young Psychonaut frowned in disappointment, "Why? What's wrong with all the other jobs?"
"It's simple, kid," came a feminine voice up ahead. Sitting on a park bench with her piggigh companion Pey'j, right on cue, was the mysteriously green-eyed and lipped Jade. "The Commander hates violence- downright loathes it."
"Not that I blame 'im," added the portly pig with his sleepy eyes half open and his arms crossed. "Sendin' a kid out to war's not somethin' I'd want on my conscience either."
Rock smiled warmly as he greeted them with a nod. "Jade, Pey'j."
"You guys weren't following us, were you?" asked a suspicious Raz.
"She was," the pig ratted while giving his niece a friendly elbow; "I'm just here for the fresh air."
Jade winced her bright green eyes at him before confessing, "We were both on our way to the food court when we saw you two. How're you doing, Raz?"
The smaller, goggle-headed boy shrugged, "Eh. It's better than floating in a bubble for all eternity."
"Still no sign of the guy who framed him," Rock frowned. "But the Police Division is on it. As soon as I get word from Commander McCloud, I'll…"
He was stopped by a sudden buzz in his ear, which activated his Blue Bomber armor instantly. Raz was stunned to see his new boss 's body suddenly shift with bright blue flashing sprites into his battle mode.
Mega Man pressed the red button on his right earphone. "Yes, Counselor Va- Oh! Counselor Freeman, this is a surpri- ….Yes? …Yes, sir…"
"Wait," mused Raz to himself. "That guy actually talks?" He was, of course, referring to Freeman, who as far as he knew couldn't say a word.
Rock's eyes stilled as his superior's orders reached his ears. "…I understand… I'm on it, sir." As his friends waited patiently, Mega Man took his finger out of his earphone and addressed them: "Jade, we've got a call. Round up as many volunteers as you can, 'cause this is a big one."
"Yes, sir!" saluted Jade, who stood straight up from her bench seat in compliance.
"Aww," frowned Pey'j. "Still no time for lunch?"
The woman turned to her companion with a smile. "Just go on without me, uncle. You know how I like my burgers." She then leaned over to give him a quick peck on the cheek before running off in a hurry.
A surprised Raz turned to his Commander. "Uncle?"
Mega Man just replied, "Long story."
As the Blue Bomber started to take off in a rush, he was followed close behind by his newest agent. This caused the robot boy to stop in his tracks to face the young Psychonaut with a disapproving grimace. "You're not coming, Raz."
"What?" gasped the boy. "But I'm part of the squad now! Aren't I?"
"Not yet," shook the robot's head. "You still have a lot of training to do; it's not safe. Just stick with Pey'j; he'll give you the rest of the tour."
"But, I-"
"No buts, Raz! Stay behind, that's an order."
Reluctantly, the young Psychonaut watched as the commander continued his hurried steps toward the closest available recruits for the mission, whatever it may be.
..
Raz was many things- brave, intelligent, good-hearted… but there was one thing he wasn't: obedient.
Having given Pey'j the runaround in the park, as soon as the pig lost sight of him the boy went running off in Mega Man's direction. This would lead him back to the docking base of the squad's bird-shaped space crafts.
Hiding behind a small eyeball-shaped space pod, Raz saw the new lineup of Search and Rescue crew members: Captain Falcon, known for his expert driving skills as well as his deadly punches; Chrono, the spiky read-headed swordsman of legend, whose own adventures through space and time were well known by the squad;"Gunstars" Red and Blue, who came equipped with self-upgradeable firearms; Sparkster the Opossum, better known as Rocket Knight, who donned both a jet pack and a blue suit of armor topped with a sword of gold. And of course, rounding up the team were Jade, Earthworm Jim, and Mighty the Armadillo.
The crew lined up in salute, as their commander marched up and down the line to brief them of their mission. Raz paid little attention to what he was saying; his eyes and thoughts were on the giant circular machine standing in the middle of the room. It had a silver arc with sharp edges, and its center was nothing more than a void; it was likely that this was the portal gate through which the team was about to cross.
"Okay everyone, you know the drill?" called out Commander Rock. "Now saddle up; we're taking The Crane."
"Yes, sir!" the crew replied.
As the Commander and his crew boarded their large white ship, Raz scurried over to a collection of much smaller, one-man piloted space crafts. He figured that he was a perfect fit for the perfectly circular one, and crawled in. After briefly looking over the simplistic controls, including just one steering rod, he mused, "Heh, looks easy enough." With the push of a big red button, his cockpit was sealed up in a dark grey glass, appearing to be the iris of his eyeball-like ship.
From his seat in the Crane's cockpit, Mega Man called out, "Set the coordinates, Iris."
"Yes, Commander," replied an eyeball-like droid with a bright orange iris. She floated over to a control panel beside the portal gate, and with extended wire-thin fingers she tapped away at a set of buttons.
The portal gat's black middle began to glow a warm pinkish hue, indicating that a warp vortex was being formed. This was the crew' cue to activate the Crane's engines. The ship's hind legs, facing downward, were lit aflame, and it began to hover in mid-air.
As the much larger plane began to hover toward the pink warp vortex, Raz quickly switched on the small engine of his round spacecraft. He wiggled the steering rod around, causing the eye to bounce off the walls and other vehicles like a pinball, before he finally got the knack of the controls. And just in time too, as the Crane's backend was now the only visible part of it that hadn't yet crossed through the vortex.
Hastily Raz's small ship zigged and zagged toward the vortex before it closed up, and before he knew it he was careening through a beam of pink light. Having put his goggles over his eyes, he wasn't blinded by the strange light; however, he was feeling quite shaky and uneasy, not being used to such a drastic speed through time and space.
For a few seconds, his small eyeball craft was tailing behind the Crane beautifully, but what Raz didn't take into account was the fact that it didn't have enough fuel in its tank to make a whole trip. Feeling a sudden drop in gravity, he realized his error in jedgement and began to dread the worst. "Oh no… Oooh, no…."
Oh, yes. His space craft began to freefall, well out of reach of the Crane, into unknown territory, Raz screaming helplessly all the way.
..
..
The Wumpa Islands.
On a remote, yellow-sanded beach of the main island, a short and scrawny man with a massive, geometric head, dressed in nothing more than a pair of black swim shorts, was laid out on as lounge chair, shadowed by a large red umbrella under the blazing summer sun. The man's skin was a sickly yellow, his head almost completely bald except for the black sideburns that protruded outward like spikes. On his forehead, along with a small tuft of hair, was a large dark letter "N", a symbol of his name and heritage. On his small chin, a handsome, three-pointed goatee- a true symbol of his inherit evil, as truly the most evilest of men wore goatees.
This was Doctor Neo Cortex- well, sort of. Having been the arch-nemesis of the islands' top protector, Crash Bandicoot, one would think he'd be in some secret laboratory, plotting his latest scheme of world domination. But instead, he was here- lounging on the beach with swim shorts and sunglasses over his tired, saggy eyes. And as he drifted off to sleep, he never looked so peaceful, or so happy…
Suddenly, a bright light beamed down on him- was it the sun? He was sure his umbrella was big enough to block it. "Ugh," he groaned. "N. Gin? Quit stealing my umbrella, I'm trying not to get sunburned."
"It's not the sun that'll burn you, you incompetent fool."
He knew that deep, dooming voice! Cortex's eyes peeked from their shades, and sure enough they were staring into the soulless eyes of a floating Tiki head. He yelped in high-pitched terror.
"Cortex!" boomed the evil island spirit known as Uka Uka. "I've been hovering all over these islands looking for you, and this is how you spend your afternoons? Sunbathing? Relaxing on the beach?"
"Not really," peeped a wrenched voice nearby. The floating wooden head turned to see Cortex's Igor-like henchman, N. Gin, in his own full-body swimwear of blue and white stripes. With a tooth-gaped smile, the metal-faced, lavender-skinned lackey mentioned, "We also brought hot dogs." As he declared this, he was standing over a barbecue grill, with hot dog meats sizzling over a fire.
"IDIOTS!" howled the floating head, whose empty eye sockets now spouted fire. "When are you going to take your jobs as evil minions seriously? I was put on this miserable planet to control it, to prove myself as a feared entity; not waste my days getting suntanned and eating hot dogs!"
"But they're so juicy," frowned N. Gin.
"Quiet you!" The floating Tiki head thrust itself forward to the big-headed mad scientist so that their eyes could press up against each other. "I am giving you until the end of the day to come up with some kind of world domination scheme, or I'm throwing you and your slightly dumber lackey into the volcano!"
"Hmph," was Cortex's small response.
"The active one!"
"Aaugh!" screamed Cortex in genuine fear.
"That's more like it," growled the floating Tiki head, before it vanished into thin air.
At first, the little man was shaken with his jaw dropped in terror, but moments later he was back to being the old cool and collective mad doctor. Only now, his mood was dampened in regret.
"Oh, why? Why, N. Gin? Why are we cursed with such a horrible evil spirit for an employer?"
"That's technically your fault, Master; you were the one who freed him from his prison."
"I'm tired of wasting all of my energy on that demonic spirit, Uka Uka!" lamented Cortex. "I miss the old days, when it was just me against that insufferable bandicoot and his friends."
"Again, that was your fault. You made Crash with your mutation experiments, Master."
Ignoring him, Cortex continued his pitiful rant. "I was the great Doctor Neo Cortex! I was the scourge of the Wumpa Islands. I should be the one plotting world domination with my own army of willing subjects. And I should be able to do it when I want, and how I want! Being evil twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week is just…. ugh, it's so taxing."
"We don't pay taxes, Master."
"N. Gin?"
"Yes, Master?"
"Run face first into the umbrella pole."
"Yes, Master."
…CLANG!
"Thank you, Master! I needed that," cheered the obviously pained N. Gin.
"Yes, indeed." Cortex then managed to break the fourth wall by reaching high into the sky and pulled down a red curtain in front of him. Seconds later, the curtain pulled up, and he was no longer in swim trunks but instead his signature white lab coat and black rubber boots and gloves.
Now fully dressed, the mad doctor began to stroke his devilish goatee as the wheels in his swollen head began to turn. "Hmm… If only I had enough Power Crystals; I could use them to seal Uka Uka away in his mountain prison once again, and then I would be my own lackey- I mean master! But getting said Crystals takes a lot of time, and a lot of manpower…"
"And a go-kart."
"And a go-ka… wait, what?"
N. Gin unzipped his full-body swimsuit to reveal his own lab coat and boots underneath- it's better not to ask how. He then reached into a pocket in his white coat and pulled out a rolled up scroll he unraveled it to reveal a poster ad for, "The Von Clutch Motorworld racing circuit!" he read. "Heh! There's a big kart race happening today, and the grand prize is one hundred Power Crystals!"
"One… hundred… Crystals?" The lights went on for Doctor Cortex, as his eyes turned like a slot machine's wheels from irises to crystals. "That's it, N. Gin! All I have to do is enter that race and win those Crystals, and then we'll finally be rid of that horrible Uka Uka once and for all! Heee!"
"There's just one problem, Master."
"Nothing you say will deter my hopes, N. Gin."
"Crash is entering the race."
"…except that."
As they began to hatch their nefarious scheme, they failed to notice the small falling object in the sky that resembled a shooting star… Well actually, if one were to look more closely at it, it looked more like a falling eyeball.
..
..
Von Clutch Motorworld, ten minutes later
It was a beautiful afternoon on the mainland; nary a cloud in the sky- the perfect day for a kart race. After months of preparations (not to mention a complete overhaul of the park since its last adventure regarding a rogue mascot), Von Clutch Motorworld looked as menacing as ever. Already, the stadium seats were packed with various animals and aborigines cheering and waving colored flags of their favorite racers. Lined up at the starting gate as part of the park's tropical themed "Mystery Island," were five color-coded go-karts, three of which were mounted by orange cartoon-like bandicoots.
From a podium atop the main stadium sat a cassowary with a Mohawk-shaped crest, dressed in a blue suit and black tie. Beside him was a floating Tiki head; one not as bulky or feathered as Uka Uka, but rather modestly thin and sporting a few rainbow-colored feathers on his brow.
"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen," clucked the cassowary, "and welcome to our annual Von Clutch Motorworld Raceway Extravaganza! I'm your host, Cass O. Wary, and with me today is a very special guest commentator. You know him as the benevolent guardian spirit of Wumpa Islands: the one and only Aku Aku."
"Greetings, friends," smiled the Tiki spirit in a deep voice peppered in a tropical accent. "It's so nice to be a part of this event, now that Von Clutch made a full recovery after losing his power crystal."
"Yep, that ol' cyborg may be a little rusty, but he's got enough tight bolts to make this his most elaborate and possibly historic race yet."
.
From the stadium, the announcer voices echoed like thunder to the crowds.
"For this race, we are combining the main elements of our four main parks- Mystery Island, Happily Ever Faster, Tyrannosaurus Wrecks, and finally, Astroland- into one long and heavy-hitting raceway!"
"Each racer will start out with a fairly modest vehicle, but we've scattered special upgrades along the roads in unmarked crates; whoever crosses over them will make their vehicles faster, or bigger, or you might even get a bad item. Who knows?"
"We don't even know, 'cause we already forgot what we put in 'em! Now, let's meet the racers!"
The crowd went wild as the five racers lined up at the starting line in color-coded go-karts.
"In the grey kart, the powerhouse of the Bandicoots: Crunch!"
Standing at just over six feet tall, the brown-furred bandicoot with a metallic right arm was the largest of the racers, and yet his go-kart was about the same size as the others. His strategy was to get the upgrades to make his vehicle much larger- not just for an advantage in the race, but perhaps to make it more comfortable to sit in.
"In the pink cart, the brainiest of bandicoots: Coco!"
The blonde-haired kid genius of her family, Coco gave the crowd an enthusiastic wave.
"In the green kart, the prettiest pluckiest of possums: Pasadena!"
Dressed in a dark blue pilot suit, the female opossum saluted her fans while maintaining a calm composure.
"In the red cart, his mechanical majesty himself: Von Clutch!"
The smallest of the racers, Von Clutch was a green-skinned humanoid whose body was almost completely clockwork. Normally dressed in a dark suit, his middle was now triple-strapped in belts to keep his inner power core from popping out from his chest.
"And in the blue kart, the hero of Wumpa Islands himself, give it up for Crash Bandicoot!"
The medium-sized, scrawny-limbed and big-mouthed hero shook his clasped hands in the air with great confidence, making the crowd cheer loudest for him. Unlike the others, he had no plans of upgrading or even winning; he was just here to have fun.
"Alright racers, on your marks… Get set…" Aku Aku's voice began, when suddenly his co-announcer's voice clucked in.
"WAIT! Hold your horses, racers! It looks like we have a last-minute competitor!"
Screeching in on an old-looking and smoke-exhaling four-wheeler was the scourge of Wumpa Islands himself, Dr. Neo Cortex. Dressed in his usual lab coat and dark rubber gloves, he gave his fellow competitors a spiteful grin. His four-wheeler nearly bumped into Crash's as it took its place by his left side.
A less than cheerful Aku Aku's voice echoed, "Um… okay? I'm being told by the officials that this new racer is indeed eligible. Our final contestant, in the black kart, is Doctor Neo Cortex!"
"Cortex?" gasped Coco in disbelief. "Who invited him?"
"Oh don't be so melancholy, my feisty furballs," said the smug mad scientist. "I'm just here to have a bit of fun, like the rest of you. You like friendly competition, don't you Crash?"
The scrawny bandicoot blew a raspberry in reply, indicating his disgust.
Cortex sneered. "My sentiments, exactly."
"Okay, is that everybody now? Yes? No? …Good! The race will now begin: On your marks… Get set… GO!"
All of the karts burned rubber as they tore across the starting line; most left a trail of white smoke, while Cortex's left a distinctive trail of black smog.
.
Mystery Island
The first leg of the race, Mystery Island, had a tropical theme complete with rivers, log bridges, pirate carvings, a fake whale spouting water, and of course lush island greens. Since this was the first of four arenas, the road was rather simplistic with wide turns and small hills. That, and the fact that there were little to know power-up crates on the road made this track the one where the racers could go all out and just plow through with no holds barred.
Cortex, the most aggressive racer of them all, only had a small Gatling gun on his vehicle which had poor aiming. His ping pong ball-sized bullets did little damage to his opponents, but it did cause a distraction for Von Clutch and Coco. As the mad scientist and cyborg tore down the lane, they saw a single crate sitting in the middle of the road. Their karts collided and pushed each other back and forth as they vied for the crate. Ultimately, it was Von Clutch who got the wheel power-up; his kart magically morphed into a giant monster truck which flattened Cortex's black four-wheeler temporarily.
But Von Clutch only gained a little bit of the lead; Crash Bandicoot was not far behind, having played a skillful game with no damage to his go-kart thanks to careful driving. Suddenly, a white ball appeared just a mile ahead. Believing this to be a power-up item, Crash veered his kart around Von Clutch's and went full throttle toward the ball. The blue kart slammed into it, causing a "Thunk" sound. The ball ricocheted and bounced onto the back of Crash's go-kart.
Curiously, the bandicoot turned his head to see what he had obtained, and to his shock, the ball's dark visor slid open, revealing a small orange-skinned boy inside.
"AAAHHHH!" screamed Raz.
"AAAHHHH! FISH FACE!" echoed Crash.
In his state of surprise, Crash pulled down on his steering wheel's left and careened into the lane's barrier. This caused the blue vehicle to spin frantically, giving Von Clutch an easy lead.
"Oh, look!" cheered the voice of Cass O. Wary. "It looks like Crash got one of our Assistance Upgrades!"
.
"Wait a minute," argued Aku Aku. "I don't recognize that assistant at all."
"Eh, must be a freebie," shrugged his co-announcer.
.
After momentarily losing his cool, Crash regained his composure and righted his kart to continue the race, but by now his siblings and even his arch nemesis had run past him. He slammed his foot on the gas pedal, causing Raz to hold on for dear life, and his escape pod.
Just then, Cass' voice called out, "Remember, racers: your opponents can knock out your upgrades with their own weapons- that counts as a free hit, as your kart won't take damage."
"Augh!" cried a fearful Raz. He pleaded to the furry creature behind the wheel, "Please! Whatever happens, don't let them knock me out! I'll help you, I promise, just don't throw me out of this car! Okay?"
With his tongue blowing in the wind, the dim-witted but big-hearted Crash gave his new copilot a smile and a thumbs up in compliance.
"Great," sighed Raz in relief. He then took a moment to carefully survey his new surroundings: "Okay… So, we're in a race. Wasn't expecting that- then again, I'm not sure what I was expecting… Did you happen to see a blue robot that kind of looks like a kid with big doll eyes?"
Crash shook his head, which gave off the sound of a dog shaking water off its soaked fur.
"Okay, so I must have landed somewhere else. Um… Who're we racing against?"
Crash pointed across the lane to his opponent, of whom Raz gave a quick observation: "Let's see… Lab coat, wild hair, goatee. He's the bad guy, am I right?"
Crash nodded his head, which gave off the sound of shaking maracas.
"Okay, got it. So we just outrun him, and the day is saved?"
"Pancakes!"
"I'll take that as a yes."
.
Meanwhile, near the end of the arena, a large pirate ship was propped as a backdrop. Its cannons were there for show, but Cortex's henchman N. Gin had already begun to set them up to become a new obstacle for the race. As soon as the karts came tearing around the sharp corner, he let out a maniacal cackle and pressed a button on a small control switch.
.
"BOOM!" The cannons fired, and out came non-lethal but very large cannonballs. All but Cortex were caught by surprise; he stayed focused as his opponents frantically swerved their vehicles left and right to escape getting flattened. But N. Gin himself stayed out in the open on the ship's edge, laughing at the sight of the fearful bandicoots.
"Hey!" hollered Coco as her eyes caught sight of the purple-skinned lackey. "Cortex's friends are rigging the race!"
Nearby, her older brother Crunch turned a stink eye up at N. Gin. "We'll worry about that later," he advised. "Right now, let's just focus on outrunning Cortex." Seconds later, he was faced with a boulder-sized cannonball, which he promptly punched with his metal fist, knocking it out of the lane.
The racers managed to escape the cannonballs as they came toward them, but now that they were running down a slope, those same boulders started to chase after them. Only by hitting a spring at the end of the slope could they make it toward the next arena; poor Pasadena Possum was knocked to the side by Cortex, who cared only for his own safety. Pasadena's green kart went barreling into a lake full of fake sharks.
"Uh-oh," joked Cass O. Wary's voice, "looks like Pasadena Possum is sleeping with the fishes tonight."
.
Happily Ever Faster
The second leg of the race was a revamped version of an old favorite track: a fairy tale-inspired arena complete with a castle where Rapunzel's blonde braided hair dangled down from atop the tallest tower as part of one of the road's obstacles. Other props included beanstalk ramps, a patch of forest with gingerbread houses, and a sleeping fire-breathing dragon, whose spine became part of the road itself.
Leading the pack was Von Clutch, followed by Crunch, then Cortex, then Coco and finally Crash. Now that the track was getting bigger and with more slopes and turns, the racers became more aggressive. Coco received a speed upgrade, pushing herself past her brother Crunch. But then Cortex received a weapon upgrade, turning his small Gatling gun into a heat-seeking missile launcher. With it, he blasted his way into second place, just behind Von Clutch. He only managed to damage the cyborg's monster truck, knocking it back down into a small go-kart, but he still maintained the lead.
"Woo-hoo!" cheered the voice of Raz, catching Cortex by surprise. To the mad doctor's horror, his rival was now picking up speed and headed his way.
Cortex turned his missile launcher around and gloated, "I hope you like my missiles Crash, because they can't seem to get enough of you! Hee-hee-hee-hee!"
Three missiles came spiraling toward the bandicoot in the blue kart, who was quick to reach out and grab the dangling blonde braid of Rapunzel's hair. This triggered a secret path; he and his kart were pulled upward and tossed onto a second track made of a giant false beanstalk. This track, higher and loopier than then main one, would launch him well ahead of his opponents. However, the heat-seeking missiles were still on his tail.
"I've got this," smiled Raz. "Keep driving!" As his partner went full throttle, Raz reached out with one hand and pressed against his temple with the other. Using his telekinesis, he redirected the missiles into each other, and they burst upon collision.
Crash and Raz ran along the beanstalk until it launched them into the third part of the track, which was the dragon's spine. By now, they were in second place and well ahead of Cortex, much to his dismay. However, he had another trick up his sleeve…
.
The head of the dragon was designed to detach from its mechanical neck and chase after the drivers, but it was never meant to harm them. However, another one of Cortex's minions managed to sneak onto the track and rig the dragon's head just before the race began. As the racers leapt from the dragon's snout, it detached and began to run after hem on three wheels on each side. But as it opened its mouth, a strange figure appeared inside: it was Dingodile, a half-dingo, half-crocodile mutant, armed with a flamethrower and a tank of gasoline strapped to his back.
"Fire in the hole! Hahahahahahahaha!" laughed the pyromaniac hybrid. As he did, his flamethrower spewed a torrent of fire, almost making it seem like the dragon itself was spewing the flames.
"Oh no, friends! Looks like the competition is really heating up!"
"Aw, don't crack jokes now. Someone can get really hurt!"
Not one to simply lag behind, Dingodile had his own control pad and used it to steer the dragon's head closer and closer to the racers. He pushed Crash aside and nearly barreled over Crunch, but it was Coco who would get the better of him.
While the pyromaniac was blindly throwing fire her way, Coco was focused on the road ahead, and steered into a power-up crate. This unleashed her companion Polar, the baby polar bear. He jumped to the back of her kart and exhaled a breath of ice and snow. Despite his grandest flames, Dingodile was no match for Polar's icy breath; both he and his dragon head mech froze in place.
"Looks like we need a new dragon," joked Cass O. Wary, "'cause this one just got fired!"
"…You're gonna make bad puns all day, aren't you?" feared Aku Aku.
"Well of course! Bad puns are in my name… No, really!"
.
Tyrannosaurus Wrecks
The third leg of the race consisted of a fiery, prehistoric theme, with a volcano spouting fake lava, rocky formations used as ramps, and mechanized dinosaurs as part of the scenery. But of course there were some hazards on the road: giant Venus flytraps that could swallow a go-kart whole; slick black puddles meant to resemble tar pits, and one mean Tyrannosaurus Rex machine designed to chase the karts down. After plowing down the gravely road, dodging the Venus flytraps as they swooped their jaws at the competitors, they were soon tailed by the giant robotic lizard, eyes glowing red and jaws clattering.
"Careful, racers!" warned the avian announcer. "Anyone who lags behind will get the business end of our T-Rex!"
And he wasn't kidding; the mechanized beast roared as he dipped down to try and snatch up Coco, who was momentarily in last place. It was Polar who came to her aid, whose ice breath left a trail of ice on the road. The Mecha-Rex slipped on the ice and slowed down, giving Coco more than enough speed to escape its snapping jaws.
.
"I would say that dino ex-stinked! Hee-heeheehee!" laughed Cass O. Wary, but his co-announcer replied with a grim frown. "….Aw come on, that was a good one."
"Maybe… if you're deaf."
.
"Is it just me," asked Crunch to his brother Crash nearby, "or is this race becoming more like a giant death trap?"
Coco sped up to meet with them and replied, "It seems like Cortex and his buddies get here long before we did. Keep your eyes out for N. Tropy, or Tiny, or any of those goons."
Charging down the rocky and spiral track, the team's karts were shuttled closely together, making each other bounce back and forth like bumper cars. Things only got worse when oil slicks on the road caused the karts to go faster than their riders intended. But such momentum became a blessing, when the road they were on suddenly gave way to a loop-de-loop.
At the end of the loop were two crates sitting carelessly on the road. Both Crunch and Coco were convinced that they were power-up crates, and each one collided with one. But Cortex had secretly replaced the original crates with these new ones, and he even slowed his kart down to make sure he wouldn't be the one to activate them.
Crunch the bandicoot got the shock of his life when, upon releasing the crate, he was not greeted by a power-up for his kart but instead an old rival: Tiny the Tasmanian Tiger! The muscular brute snarled at the brown bandicoot and clawed at the wheel, sending the two of them on a wild spin off course and into a fake lava pit.
Likewise, Coco was greeted by a rigged crate as well, only her new companion was a wild-eyed, drooling, straightjacket wearing blue kangaroo.
"Ripper Roo!" she confirmed in a fright.
Ripper laughed as he swatted little Polar off the back of the kart and took his place. He then tried to use his clawed feet to kick her wheel out of her grip, but despite her moment of surprise, Coco regained her composure. "Oh no you don't," she declared.
Veering her kart hard left to hard right, she couldn't shake him despite his obvious lack of balance. Then another idea came to her mind, as she saw that she was headed straight for a patch of voracious Venus flytraps on the side of the road. She purposely steered her pink kart to the very edge of the track, and while Ripper tried to bite the back of her head, he failed to notice that he too was being snapped at, until it was too late. In a violent "CHOMP," the wily 'roo was trapped in the jaws of a flytrap, freeing Coco.
Meanwhile, Cortex went full steam and zipped past the unlucky bandicoots, catching up with race leader Von Clutch. Their karts slammed into each other, causing friction, until another oil slick spun them out of control.
Von Clutch burned rubber and plowed through the slick, and in his haste he failed to realize that he was now driving in the wrong direction. It wasn't until he passed by Crash and Raz, who waved to him sullenly, when he realized his mistake. But just as he was about to turn around, the T-Rex mech that was chasing the racers this whole time met with him and stomped the cyborg and his green kart flat into the ground.
"Ouch!" the feathered announcer lamented.
"I know he's mostly machine," frowned Aku Aku, "but that HAD to hurt."
"At least he's still got his power crystal."
As if on cue, Von Clutch's dark power crystal "pooped" out from his chest and shattered to pieces.
"Nevermind."
.
Astroland
The final leg of the race was the aptly-named Astroland, a futuristic arena with a giant rocket ship as its centerpiece.
"Welcome to the future," the main announcer said with glee. "And unless you're in first place, you'll soon be history!"
"Seriously man, stop it," warned his partner.
"This is the final lap of the race! Who will win? Who will go crying home to mama? Let's watch and find out!"
While this track had its share of tricks, turns and loop-de-loops, all Cortex could focus on was the road ahead, on which his remaining minions- N. Gin, his neice Nina, and the Komodo Brothers- lined up a row of power-up item boxes for him to plow through. They made a mad dash off the road before the mad doctor's smog-spewing go-kart came barreling by. In a flash and a puff of black smoke, Cortex's once feeble little four-wheeler became a monster truck-sized death machine, complete with heat-seeking missiles, a giant fist-shaped battery ram on a crossbow on the front bumper, and a huge chainsaw attached to a crane on the back of the machine.
"No more tricks this time, Crash!" grinned a sly Cortex to the puny blue go-kart trailing his. "No traps, no goons. Just you and me and my MASSIVE GO-KART OF DEATH! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
It was now or never for Crash and his orange-skinned passenger; they were either going to win this race, or get pulverized trying. "Crash!" said Raz frantically. "You focus on driving, I'll take care of this guy's gadgets."
Nodding his head, Crash Bandicoot burned rubber, making a sharp right to avoid the death kart's various weapons which only worked while their pilot had a clear target. The blue go-kart had just barely scraped by without incident, while the chainsaw crane dipped down in an attempt to skewer it.
With Crash's kart just barely in the lead now, Raz faced the death kart head on, his gloved hands balled in blue glowing fists. "Okay, tough guy. You wanna play hard ball? I'm game."
Accepting the challenge, the mad doctor launched his first weapon at him: a rocket-sized missile. Raz caught it with his telekinesis- Level 1, which was blue-shaded. He struggled with the missile as it hung in the air just inches away from his head, but in seconds he managed to force it around and shoot back at Cortex. BOOM! The death kart shrunk down a bit and lost its fighter missiles, but it was still much bigger than Crash's kart.
Round two: Cortex's chainsaw crane swooped back and forth to try to knock Razz off balance, but his nimbleness was too much for it, as he hopped like a grasshopper over every swing.
Round three: The Battery Ram. Connected to a large crossbow, Cortex launched it at Raz's head, but he caught it with his Level 2 telekinesis, shaded green. In its green halo, the fist of the battery ram hung in mid-air. This proved to be a slightly bigger struggle for Raz, but with shaking fists he persevered and flipped the fist in reverse, and it punched the death kart. WHAM! The black truck was now flaming at the wheels, but still not fully demoted to go-kart status.
Round four was reminiscent of round two, with Cortex letting loose a hailstorm of bullets. Raz formed a blue bubble shield around himself, and had to hold it steady with his mind, before Cortex's ammo ran out.
Final round: The Chainsaw of Doom. With this as his last weapon, the mad doctor furiously pulled on a stick lever on his vehicle, and the chainsaw crane came flailing at Raz in full force until it tried to plunge itself on top of him from straight above. The Psychonaut tapped into Level 3 of his telekinesis, hot pink-colored. The now flamboyantly colored chainsaw remained hovering in the air while its chained teeth kept on rolling, trying desperately to break loose. Raz was now using all of his strength, grinding his teeth and buckling his knees. Somehow though, he managed to gain control of the giant chainsaw and pulled it backward, onto the front of the black death-kart. SLASH! In a great puff of smoke, the once mighty monster truck was now a feeble four-wheeler again.
All while this was happening, Crash Bandicoot did as he was told and kept his buggy eyes firmly on the road ahead. Unlike his rival, who was too focused on Raz, he swung past and around all of the road's hazards and pulled himself further and further into the lead. And now with Cortex's kart back to it first level, there was at least ten feet of distance between them.
"This is it, folks! The final lap before the finish, and Crash is at the head of the pack! Heck, can you even call it a pack? It's really just a one-on-one race now!"
Seeing the checkered finish line's banner on the horizon, Crash's mouth gaped open with a wide smile, but then he closed it leaving only his dragging tongue while he gunned his engines.
In his last ditch effort, Doctor Cortex and his flaming-wheeled go-kart started spinning out of control as he thrust all of his pedals forward. He soon collided with the blue kart's side, and as they rubbed against each other their friction created small sparks.
"I'm not finished yet, Crash Bandicoot!" screamed the hapless doctor. "I've still got one ace up my sleeve!" He was referring to the one small weapon he had left: his own laser gun, which he always kept under his belt. As he aimed the gun at Crash, he seemed to have forgotten all about the little psychic boy that demoted his vehicle.
"You know what, Doc?" smiled Raz. "You really need to put a lid on it!" Having lost all of his psychic energy at this point, Raz's one last hurrah came in the form of the very eyeball-shaped orb he came flying in! He held it up over his head with both arms triumphantly before throwing it onto Cortex's oversized cranium. The hapless mad doctor seemed to be swallowed up by the orb's ajar cockpit, and without his sight to guide it the black go-kart went reeling off course, jumping over a platform that led to a ramp that headed straight for the rocket ship centerpiece.
As he crashed into the ship's thrusters, the flames of his wheels lit the fake spaceship's flammable rope, ala the sticks of dynamite of old. The fire not only sent Cortex and his kart flying, but so did the fake rocket, which was actually a gigantic firework. As it soared into the stratosphere, it blew up into a spray of color.
None of this was witnessed by Crash, who joyfully threw his arms up in victory as his blue kart hurled itself across the finish line. The crowd, of course, went wild.
..
..
Less than thirty minutes later, at the winner's circle, Crash stood proudly on the highest tier, with Von Clutch (recently rebuilt) on the third place tier, and a charred Doctor Cortex on the second place tier.
The two announcers, Cass O. Wary and Aku Aku, rewarded the runners up with small medallions, and the plucky orange bandicoot with a trophy cup big enough for him to swim in.
"We are pleased as punch," cheered the jolly Tiki god, "to announce this year's winner of the Von Klutch Motorworld race to our good friend: Crash Bandicoot!"
As the hero took his trophy cup, he paused in wonder. His buggy eyes wandered until they found the mysterious boy who aided him in the race. He was standing by with the other racers, including Crash's family. Raz looked proud of himself, yet was humble enough not to take Crash's moment of glory away from him. But then, while he was caught off guard, the cartoony bandicoot grabbed him from behind and hoisted him up with one hand, while still holding the trophy by one of its arms in the other. This was Crash's way of saying that he couldn't have won the race without his new friend. And Raz of course, was all too thrilled to share in their victory.
.
Sulking in the far back were Doctor Cortex's defeated minions, soon joined by their half-cooked leader, who all paused to sneer and boo their victorious rival. But it was Cortex himself who seemed the most disturbed.
"All my hard work and scheming, for nothing!" he whined as his grief soon turned into dread. "Now how am I ever going to get enough Crystals to rid myself of-"
"CoooorrrrteeeEEEEEXXX!"
"AIEE!" shrieked Cortex, as he and his lackeys were suddenly under attack by fireballs, spouted from an enraged Uka Uka as he phased into the scene in a blaze of fire.
Crash and his family and friends then paused to watch as their rivals ran in circles, dodging fireballs and each other in a frenzied panic. None of them even seemed concerned for the villainous gang, and perhaps it was just as well.
.
"Man, oh man!" cheered Raz as he was placed back onto the ground. "Wait till my friends back at Pandora hear about this!"
"Pandora, you say? No kidding," said a mysterious male voice from behind.
Suddenly, the boy's feet became detached from the ground, as a large yellow hook hoisted him up from the back of his jacket. He yelled in surprise, squirming and kicking in resistance. "Hey! What the- what's the big idea?"
The hook was in fact the end of a large cane, held by a tall anthromorphic raccoon; the black bandit around is eyes could have passed for fur; his dark blue cap, suit and boots served to blend in with darkness, though in broad daylight he stuck out like a sore thumb.
"So," grinned the raccoon, "you're the one who stole my scout ship. Raz, is it?"
Still dangling helplessly in the air, Raz's jacket turned so that he could face the stranger head on. "And you are?"
The grey and blue raccoon tipped his cap. "Sly Cooper, Scout Division, at your service."
As the stranger said this, a glint of light flashed from his jacket. Raz recognized the emblem of Aperture Industries he wore as a badge. "You're from the Redemption Squad," the boy gasped.
"Yep," nodded Sly, "and you're a runaway. And stealing government property? Shame on you… that's my job."
"Oh," blushed Raz; he realized now that the raccoon was referring to the scout ship he hijacked in order to follow Commander Rock's crew. "Uh, about that! I can explain."
"Later," frowned a more serious looking Sly. "I'm taking you back to HQ, pronto."
"Wait! …C-can't I at least say goodbye to my new friends?"
The raccoon lowered his cane to free the boy. "Make it quick."
With a heavy heart and a long face, Raz turned to his other furry friends. "Sorry you guys, looks like I've gotta get back to my home world."
"Hey," smiled Coco pleasantly, "don't be a stranger kiddo. You can visit us anytime."
Crash and Crunch nodded in agreement, Crash bearing the much tootheir grin.
"You sure you guys will be alright here?" asked a genuinely worried Raz. "We can help make this world a much safer place- I mean, that is what we do."
"From who? Them?" Crash and Coco glanced back at the villains, who were still running scared from the fiery Uka Uka. Coco then turned back to Raz with a knowing smile. "I think we can handle it."
Raz smiled. "Fair enough."
"Come on, kid," said the tall and lanky Sly Cooper. "You've got a lotta 'splaining to do back at HQ."
As the young Psychonaut reluctantly followed the raccoon's lead, he sighed deeply. "...I'll bet wherever Megaman and his buddies are, it can't be half as fun as this world."
While the two of them walked off, the bandicoots waved goodbye, while their rivals still ran in circles in the far off distance.
..
..
Speaking of Commander Rock and his crew...
On a planet far beyond that of Crash Bandicoot's, a fully armored Mega Man and his crew look onward very nervously, as a seemingly endless swarm of UFOs came barreling through the night sky toward them. Surrounded, outnumbered and clearly unprepared, they were in for a very long night.
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SAVING GAME
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NEXT LEVEL: "Alien Nation"