Wanting Something More
Chapter Twenty Five: Wanting Her
Harry looked around for Parkinson, hoping she at least made it out. Had she not alerted them, they all would have died in that room, and no one would have known. He looked to see her circling back and almost fell off his broom. How was fate so cruel? How had he survived? Someone he loathed, while the woman he loved with all his heart was obliterated before his own eyes. Why was it every person he ever loved, or cared about found death all to easily? Was it his connection to the Deathly Hallows making up for his own escape of death? Was it because he was the Boy Who Lived? Was it that the truth he suspected the cause. Was he, through Dumbledore's riddled words about him inheriting a piece of Voldemort in second year, about him being an unknown and accidental Horcrux as well? Is that why he could sense them, when no one else could?
And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives.
The words flew around his brain as he burst out of the room and dismounted the broom. I killed my parents, I killed Cedric, I killed Sirus, I killed Dumbledore, I killed Brittany. I killed them all because Voldemort will always live while I'm here. All I ever wanted was to be loved. Now I know I was never meant to have it. All those who get close to me are courting death.
Harry glared at Pansy and Draco as they landed. He balled his fist and slammed it right into Draco's face. But he actually killed her, my loving her was the catalyst. "I ought to kill you right here Malfoy. I should have killed you that day in that room like I wanted."
Draco Malfoy said nothing as the full effect of what he had been doing the past few years hit him. He knew he deserved every bit of what Potter was going to give him. He had been near insane, and killed the woman he loved, or thought he loved. "I wish you had." He whispered. He had snapped out of his insanity the moment Pansy had slapped him. He had watched in seconds the torture he had put his former best friends sister through.
Harry reeled back at that. "She never loved you. She was mine, and I am hers. When this is all over I never want to see you again."
"You aren't going to kill me?" Draco wondered.
"No." Harry was surprised at both the answer and at how fast it had come to him. "I want you to live the rest of your life with the guilt that you killed her. I want you to wake up every morning and go to sleep every night knowing that because of your selfishness, because you could never accept reality, that you murdered an innocent loving pure female. I want you to have nightmares of that moment you ended her life because it will haunt me the rest of mine." Harry spat bitterly.
Harry turned to walk away and with the rage still bubbling inside him he turned once more to deck him in the eye. Malfoy never flinched and looked straight at him as his fist connect with his rivals face. Draco remained silent as the boy who lived stormed away. Draco was lost, it was as if years of his life he was someone else. Something else. He turned to Pansy and saw her sobbing. He moved to do something, he was not sure. She flinched at his approach.
"You're a monster. She's had feelings for Potter for years. She could never approach him because of you. Now she had her chance to be happy, and for that you killed her. You don't know what love is Malfoy, because love is never like that. Love is turning around and saving the life of the man you love even after he murdered your friend. Love is staying by his side while he loses his mind to darkness brought on by an evil dark lord. Love is standing here in front of you knowing that what you've done can never be forgiven. Love is looking you in the eyes and telling you I don't think I can ever look at you the way I did before again, even if in some part you are not wholly to blame for your actions."
Pansy took off the necklace she once treasured above all else and threw it at his feet. She ran from him then wanting to get away from the madness that was in the room behind her. She wondered if she could have saved Brittany from her terrible fate. Now she would regret having loved the man she had lived for, for seven years.
Draco leaned over and picked up the necklace and saw it had opened. For the first time since he was a small child he wept. The memories bombarded him. His father pushing him towards Brittany Zabini, when the Dark Lord returned, his training and own pressure to own the female. Through it all Pansy had always had his back and been by his side. Through his own actions and those of the Dark Lord he was blind to her. As he watched her run away from his side for the first time in his life he saw just how much her presence meant to him. Now having lost that constant, seeing her face next to his beaming for him to see in the locket he knew he would never deserve her. Either of them. Not after what he had just done.
Harry could not face her friends at the moment. He could not tell them she had died. He was hard pressed to face his own friends. He had fell down the moment Voldemort began speaking. His rage boiled. If he were in fact a Horcrux, he would face Voldemort and make it that much easier for the others to live on in piece and finish what he had started. He began searching for any sign of Hermione and Ron.
He was quite surprised to find Luna Lovegood sitting amongst the rubble. "Harry."
She had called, and he guessed this was as good as he was going to get. "Luna."
"You've figured it out." She gave him a somber smile.
"You knew." Harry wondered?
"I might have guessed." She replied, her airy voice seeming to calm his frayed nerves.
"You aren't going to try and stop me?" Harry wondered, slumping down next to her. This may be the last conversation with a decent person I will ever have.
"You have to face your destiny Harry." Luna placed her hand on his shoulder.
"I should have run away with her." Harry spat out bitterly.
"You both would have regretted that. Everything has a purpose Harry. Sometimes it's hard to see the whole painting when you are focused on certain pieces."
"I failed her Luna." Harry whimpered as he began to break down. "I failed all of them."
"You have the chance to fix all that and stop the senseless death. I'm sure afterwards she'll be waiting for you. I believe that you will find her again. She would want you to be strong." Luna began running her fingers through his hair and it almost felt motherly.
"Will you tell the others?" Harry pleaded.
"They will know what you have done, and why. Hermione already suspects. We will take care of the snake, the last piece to fall before he does."
"But I'm supposed to be the one to kill him. The prophecy said so." Harry protested for a moment.
"Who is to say you training us all and preparing us for this is not your hand. You're hands trained us, at your hands we will finish this if you cannot. Prophecies are vague for a reason. There is room for interpretation. Neville could have been the chosen one, had Voldemort picked him. He fit the criteria as well, when he made you the chosen one, that was his own choice. Do what you must and know if you wish to give up at the end we will continue on. Just make sure when you are deciding whether to go peacefully into the night you make sure she is there waiting for you. If she is not waiting for you then it is not yet your time."
"Luna, what do you mean?" Harry wondered.
"You'll figure it out." She smiled. "Run along now Harry. You have a destiny to fulfill."
"What do you mean though, no more riddles!" Harry shouted.
"I promise this is the last one, well I'm fairly sure it is. All shall be made clear soon." Luna replied and stood up offering him her hand. "Hurry now before Hermione and Ron come along. You need to spare them as much pain as you can."
Harry wanted to shout but took her hand and walked away. "After this is over, make sure you marry Neville, there is never enough time in this world."
"I promise Harry. Now go!" She shouted.
Harry, felt energy pump into him and he broke out into a run towards the Dark Forest. He knew the clearing would be the place he first encountered Voldemort in his first year. Perhaps, if fate had any say, that Unicorn would see a piece of Voldemort die in that clearing. His hand moved to his robes and he felt the Elder wand, tucked nicely into a small pocket along with that snitch. I open at the close.
"I am Harry Potter, and I am about to die."
Harry watched as the Snitch opened and looked at the stone. He held the stone in his hand and watched as his loved ones surrounded him. He was hoping to see Brittany and her strength and was surprised when she was not there. He chose not to worry, Luna had said when he saw her waiting for him he would know his path. He guessed she meant when he died.
He glared at Voldemort for all he was worth and prayed that with his death, he would finally get what was coming to him. For everyone who suffered at and through his hands, he smirked as Voldemort raised his wand knowing his friends, by Harry's own hands would end this battle once and for all.
Seeing Dumbledore had been a surprise. Harry stood the in white Kings Cross station and wondered where Brittany was. Which train would take him to her. It was all finally over, and he would be with her forever now. Dumbledore seemed to pause in his leaving and smiled at the young man.
"Not a single one of those trains will lead you to her." Dumbledore replied.
"She promised she would always be by my side, why would she not be waiting for me." Harry shouted at the old man, sick of all the riddles.
"This is no trick Harry. Have you not realized it yet? Perhaps I will let you figure it out on your own." Dumbledore smiled. "I promise you it will be well worth it in the end."
Harry stood there and wondered at his words. Then he thought back to Luna and realized somehow she must have known. Somehow she knew, and he did too, this was not the end for him. Not yet, death would not take him for he was the master of the Deathly Hallows, and he had a choice. When Brittany was not running to his side he realized that he would have to return to the living one more time. He would not kill Tom Riddle in revenge, Brittany had wanted him to kick Moldybutt's ass, and defeat him, not murder him. If he dueled Tom, fate would make it's choice, where ever that would lead. Once that was done, and maybe they would both go, then she would be waiting for him. Harry knew what he had to do. He had to return, and finish what was started almost seventeen years ago.
Harry awoke feeling a lightness he had never known before, just in time to her a woman ask if Draco, her son was alive. Harry was hyper aware of the situation, and instead of flying of the handle honored the subtly, and cunning of his late love.
"Yes." He breathed out. Against all my instincts he still lives.
Narcissa Malfoy whispered back a quiet thanks. "He is dead My Lord."
Harry could hear the rejoicing and had to contain his smile. Perhaps Snape was right, a little Slytherin cunning can go a long way. I will end this my love and return to your side. We will be together after this is over, I promise.
AN: I know this one is short, and really late, and it was mainly due to the fact that I could not get this chapter right. At first I had the whole group, and they would not leave him to die after losing Brittany as well. I tried just the trio, but I always felt it was wrong Ron nor Hermione never tried to stop him from basically commiting suicide for the greater good. Then I thought of Luna, who is difficult for me to write, and it seemed to get the poing across without having this chapter run ten thousand words in the wrong direction. I also did not want to repeat what originally happened, just the altered bits. The finale is close and the finale battle is about to go down. I promise, Harry and Brittany will be reunited, I'm just not telling you how. Though baring another total computer failure, where it randomly decides to reset and set me back an hour, (Needing not only to remember what I had written but getting over the anger at the loss and the unimersion of the experience.) The next chapter should be up in a few weeks. Only a few more to go.