Disclaimer: Frozen and all recognizable characters are owned by Disney. (Though I'm pretty sure you all knew that, already. ^_^ )
Summary: Rather than talking to paintings, after Elsa shut her out, Anna took to playing with her invisible friend, Mara. Only, as she grew up, Mara didn't go away.
Author's Note: Right... Frozen was a musical, wasn't it? Well, not every story has to have any songs in it... but this one will. ^_^
Bit out of practice at that sort of thing. Don't worry, I promise I'll do my best to make any future songs blend with the action of the scene.
Lyrics are "Wonder" by Megan McCauley.
It was amazing how quickly two weeks could fly by.
It was also rather surprising just how much was involved in an event like a coronation. The palace staff, so long operating at a small percentage of what it had once been, had not only been (if only temporarily) bumped back up to what had once been normal, it had surpassed it. Rooms that hadn't seen any visitors but an exceedingly bored princess were reopened and cleaned from top to bottom. Great mounds of dishes and servingware were taken out of storage. Sufficient food for the banquet table at the reception was secured.
Elsa had decided against having a formal dinner. Her official reason, if she needed to provide one, was that the various political tensions and rivalries made coming up with an appropriate seating chart impractical, and that it would be far too easy to offend someone by seating their rival first, serving the wrong food... The list went on.
In truth, those who knew her secret knew she simply wouldn't be able to handle that, especially having to sit at the head of the main table, being forced to remain there, all eyes on her. She'd also be on display during the coronation and reception, true, but she'd be able to move, to keep the number of people she interacted with at once down, and to hide - if only behind clusters of guests - if she really needed to.
"You may be the single bravest person I've ever met," Anna decided as she watched Elsa posing in front of a mirror, rehearsing for her part in the coronation one last time.
"That doesn't say much for the palace staff," Elsa commented with false levity, watching the ice generated by her nerves creep up the candlestick and ornament she was practicing with. "Even when I know it's fear that's the problem, I can't..." She sighed, putting the items down on the closest side table in resignation.
"You're doing fine," Anna assured her, stepping closer to give her a hug. "And I'll be right there with you!" She paused. "Okay, standing off to the side, but still, right there." It went without saying that where she was, Mara would also be. In the past two weeks, the sisters had done their best to follow Anna's suggestion of setting all Mara-related issues to the side until after Elsa's coronation. Technically, they mostly succeeded in this, but the slight tension in the air made it clear that they weren't very far to the side. Elsa's jaw tensed as Anna looked slightly off to her right, head tilted in a by-now familiar listening pose. "Oh, I like that," she said, a soft smile tugging at her lips. "Is that a quote?"
For a moment, Elsa debated just ignoring it, as she had the other few times she'd caught Anna talking to Mara over the past two weeks. She was already under enough stress from thinking about being crowned Queen of Arendelle in a few short hours, wasn't she? That felt too much like slipping into her old habits, though - and she would confess a certain curiosity regarding what Mara had 'said'. "What did she say?"
Another now familiar movement, a slight twitch that indicated Anna hadn't realized she'd been speaking aloud. She'd gotten to the point where - with Elsa, at least - that was her only reaction to slipping like that. "Courage is not the absence of fear, but the ability to continue in spite of that fear."
Elsa's eyebrows rose. That may have been the single most supportive thing the wraith had ever said regarding her. Well, as far as she knew, anyway. It wasn't like Anna transcribed their private conversations, after all. "Wow."
"I know, right?" Anna beamed. "See? Even Mara thinks you can totally do this," she said, gesturing toward the wall.
By sheer reflex, Elsa's eyes followed the movement... and she went rigid as she noticed that Anna's shadow was moving out of sync with her. "What in the...?"
"Hmm?" Anna looked over. "Oh! That. Well, I thought that it wasn't really fair that Mara didn't have a way of interacting with anyone but me without really straining herself, and I thought you might be happier if you could actually see what she was doing, so we've spent the last two weeks experimenting. What do you think?"
Intellectually, she knew she should be careful, that she could easily hurt her sister's feelings otherwise. Still, before she could stop herself, she blurted out, "I think this may be the most disturbing thing you two have ever done."
Anna blinked in surprise, while her shadow rested its hands on its hips, directing what was probably an annoyed glare at Elsa. "I don't think it's that bad..."
"Anna, do you have any idea what would happen if you did this around one of the visiting dignitaries? Or the Bishop?" Elsa asked, trying not to shudder. This was just... wrong, somehow. Shadows were not supposed to act like that.
"We weren't planning to," Anna countered, frowning. "I'm not stupid, Elsa."
"I've never thought you were," Elsa assured her. "But you've had most of your life to adjust to the idea of a disembodied presence. If someone else, even one of the servants, sees a shadow moving about of its own accord..." There would be panic, and shouts about demons and witches, and her precious baby sister would likely be subjected to all manner of barbaric methods to drive out any evil influences and 'purify' her. Chances were, she wouldn't survive it... and if she did, she'd wish she hadn't.
She'd had recurring nightmares about that sort of thing growing up - yet another thing that made her suspicious of Mara, justifiably or not - and it was all too easy to transfer that fear to Anna. Or share it, perhaps, because her fear of her people's possible reaction to her magic had not gone away.
"I know that." Anna was definitely getting angry, now. "This isn't something we'd do all the time. It really only works when people can actually see my shadow, anyway, since she's limited to that."
Elsa couldn't help but doubt that restriction, though she made certain to keep that off her face. "I do appreciate the effort you must have put into learning how to do that." Less so any degree of influence the wraith gained over her sister. "I just... can't stand the thought of anything happening to you, is all."
Anna melted. She never had been able to stay angry with anyone for long, especially her sister. "I know. I feel the same about you, believe me." This, naturally, prompted another hug. Anna barely needed a reason to drag her sister into an embrace most days, claiming she had years of missed hugs to make up for.
Elsa never really minded. "So, I still have a few things to see to, but you... You can go into town, you know."
"Oh, I know," Anna assured her. "I will be, in a bit."
"I don't... just mean today," Elsa said slowly. "Just because I'm... not quite ready for something like that, you're not restricted to the palace, as well." She paused. "People won't immediately recognize you today, but in the future, if you go into town, I would appreciate it if you took a guard or two with you." Preferably ones who could distract from or excuse her behavior if she slipped up and started talking to Mara where people could see her, she added silently.
Anna looked touched; her shadow, however, seemed to be a tougher sell, posture conveying that Mara was unconvinced. "But what about you? If you have a... problem, and I'm not around-"
"I'm going to be Queen, Anna," Elsa interrupted. "I can't come running to you to hold my hand every time things don't go exactly right for me. As long as I know that you're safe and sound... I can certainly wait until you get home." If she hadn't spent the last three years soaking up Anna's unconditional love and affection, she knew, things would be very different. She still wasn't what one would consider normal - still suffering from flare-ups of depression and anxiety that, even now, could manage to catch her off-guard - and might well never be... but she was doing better.
"...Let's get through today, first," Anna decided. Not that Elsa had really expected her to jump at the idea. Still, Anna would, hopefully, at least be thinking about it, now, slowly getting used to it. As much as she loved spending time with her sister, it wasn't fair - or healthy - to expect her to cut herself off from all other human contact, just for Elsa's sake. Someone as bubbly and vivacious as Anna wasn't meant for that.
And maybe - just maybe - having more people to interact with would mean less reliance on Mara. Something about her just rubbed Elsa the wrong way.
Considering that, when Anna left, her shadow pointed at its eyes, then sharply at Elsa, before melting away and leaving Anna with just a normal shadow... The feeling seemed to be mutual.
She would be so glad when this day was over. Worrying about Anna's invisible friend was stress-inducing enough without everything coronation-related adding to that. She took a deep breath, let it out slowly, and indulged herself in an emotional release she hadn't dared for years: she sang.
"Midnight workings, weather down the storyline
I try to find the truth between all the lies
When Bleeding is feeling and feeling ain't real
Will I see you when I open my eyes?
Will I see you when I open my eyes?
When Breathing's a burden we all have to bear
And trust is one thing we're taught never to share
Somehow you just seem to shine
When loving means breaking and saying goodbye
And I can't help but wonder what it is you do
You help heal the pain, and the thoughts of the truth
You're a question to the universe, a wonder to the world
And somehow, when I'm with you, I never get burned
Caught in a trap of what we're taught to believe
When night overcomes day, life's so hard to perceive
And the clock keeps on ticking through night-shattered skies
Where the stars are all broken, and so are all the ties
But the one thing remaining is you
When I'm broken and bleeding, you pull me right through
And I can't help but wonder what it is you do
You help heal the pain, and the thoughts of the truth
You're a question to the universe, a wonder to the world
And somehow, when I'm with you there's nothing I'd rather do
Than be right there
To escape my own life and all my fear
And I cant feel
Am I really real?
Come and wipe all my tears
Come and wipe all my tears
And I can't help but wonder what it is you do
You help heal the pain, and the thoughts of the truth
You're a question to the universe, a wonder to the world
And somehow, when I'm with you...
I can't help but wonder what it is you do
You help heal the pain, and the thoughts of the truth
You're a question to the universe, a wonder to the world
And somehow, when I'm with you, I never get burned"
Maybe she was too close to the situation, she decided. She loved Anna too much to want to upset her, but relied upon her too much to potentially lose her to the forces of darkness. She'd talk to the Bishop after her coronation, she decided. He'd been invited to the reception as well, and it wouldn't be too hard to draw him away from the party for a private conversation. If she avoided mentioning any specifics until she was sure she could trust him to react in a calm, rational manner...
It felt horribly hypocritical to be asking for advice regarding Anna's... situation, while still concealing her own magic, but she knew her father would have checked to see if there was anything the Church could do for her when she was a child. Clearly, she was beyond their help. Anna, however, still had a chance.
And Elsa would do whatever it took to save her sister.
"Why didn't we do this sooner?" Anna murmured as she slipped through the crowd. Given the occasion, her fancy green dress wasn't nearly as out of place as it otherwise would have been.
She made a mental note to look through her closet to make sure she had appropriately casual clothing for her next visit, whenever that wound up being.
You refused to be too far away from your sister, should Elsa have any... issues.
Ah... right. She still felt nervous about that, but... Well, Elsa was right. (Not that she wasn't usually...) She was going to be Queen very shortly. If she came across as being dependent upon her baby sister, she'd appear weak. Thus, Arendelle would appear weak. And that wasn't something a ruler could allow. So Anna would pull back a little, find other ways to keep busy. She'd just have to trust Elsa to be able to hold herself together until she could get there, should there be any problems. And Elsa had spent the last three years proving as best she could that Anna could trust her.
Mara remained unconvinced. Though, really, it took a lot to win Mara over.
Not really, Mara interjected. You did it just by being yourself.
Anna smiled happily. It was always nice to hear things like that, and feel that she was being sincere. She ducked through a florist's stall in the market - did they always sell their flowers out in the open like this, she wondered, or was this something special for the coronation? - heading for the waterfront. She still had some time, yet, and she wanted to get a look at the boats. The various ships in the harbor had always been these distant, featureless dots. (Except for when she'd been able to borrow Papa's old telescope, before... Well, she hadn't been able to bring herself to touch any of his belongings in a while.) To see them up close like this...
She wanted to know more. She wanted to meet the crews, hear their stories. Granted, travel by sea wasn't her favorite thing to think about, for obvious reasons, but the before and after, where they'd set out from, where they'd gone... She'd never been anywhere but Arendelle. The prospect of learning about other places from people who'd been there was enticing.
Mara might well have such stories. But she was trying not to even think about her past, much less talk about it, unless she had to, so Anna hadn't asked.
I appreciate that. Though, I might be able to tell you about some of the... tamer events in my past.
She couldn't even pretend not to be excited at the prospect - it really was impossible to hide things like that from someone who shared your thoughts. "If you're sure..."
I am. Now, please, watch where you're going.
"Oh, don't be silly. There's nobody anyw-" Something very solid collided with her. "-wahh!" she yelped as she was sent staggering, stepped in a (thankfully empty) wooden bucket, tripped, and wound up sprawled in a small rowboat... which was about to dump her in the harbor.
She had just enough time to think that Elsa would kill her if she ruined her dress and wound up being late to the coronation before something stomped down on the end of the boat, pinning it in place on the dock.
The seaweed that landed on her face, though, she could have done without. "Hey!" she protested as it began sinking in that someone had nearly knocked her into the ocean on her sister's coronation day.
"I'm so sorry! Are you hurt?" Whoever it was sounded sincere, at least. She looked up and...
Um... whoa. "Hey!" she said again, in a far friendlier, vaguely embarrassed tone. It would figure that she wound up making a fool of herself in front of the first hot guy she'd met... well, ever. "Y- Uh, no, no, I'm okay."
"Are you sure?" he asked as he dismounted his horse... which was oddly yellow-ish, and seemed stockier and more muscle-y than its breed was supposed to be. The man himself was dressed in what might have been some kind of uniform, white jacket making a nice contrast against his blue shirt and pants.
And the sideburns. Can't miss the sideburns. Pretty sure blind people could notice those.
Internally chiding Mara for her lack of manners - really, they weren't that bad - she managed not to stammer as she replied, "Yeah, I just wasn't looking where I was going. But I'm good- great, actually," she corrected as he stepped into the boat to help her up.
"Oh, thank goodness." He extended his hand, which she slowly accepted. "Oh!" he said, eyes widening in a manner she was all-too familiar with from personal experience: that of someone who'd just remembered something important. In this case, it was to introduce himself. "Ah, Prince Hans, of the Southern Isles," he said, bowing as best he could in the limited space available.
Mara was less than impressed, but Anna, if nothing else, was determined not to embarrass herself (further) in front of the first visiting dignitary she'd met. That meant no talking to Mara aloud, and displaying manners and courtesy appropriate to her station. "Princess Anna, of Arendelle." A full curtsy was impossible, given their location, but she did her best.
"Princess?" Was it really that surprising? Should she have been wearing a tiara or something, to better look the part? She did have one somewhere, she thought... Though Elsa hadn't even suggested it once - and as frazzled as she'd been at times as the coronation drew closer, she'd gone over everything enough times that she would have - so it must not have been appropriate for the occasion. "My lady!" Hans said suddenly, abruptly dropping to one knee, head down.
His horse, sadly, followed suit. It might have been cute, had that not sent the rowboat tipping over the edge of the dock again. It did realize its mistake and correct it... which only meant that instead of falling on top of each other once, it happened twice.
Admittedly, laying on top of Prince Hans wasn't the worst thing ever... "Yes," she said dryly. "Truly, dignity and grace are every bit as natural to royalty as people think." Which could have been misinterpreted as a snide comment, she realized belatedly.
Fortunately, he not only got it, but was willing to play along. "Oh, indeed. If my brothers could only see me now, they'd be positively green with envy regarding my poise."
She stifled a chuckle as he helped her up. She was intrigued by the notion of having brothers, though. How many of them were there, she wondered.
As I recall, a lot. Also, time is fleeting, remember?
Oh, right. She should be thinking about Elsa's coronation, not remembering being pressed up against Hans' poise.
Well, that sounded dirtier than it should have.
"I'd like to formally apologize for hitting the princess of Arendelle with my horse," Hans was saying. "And for every moment after."
Yeah, right. Sure you regret laying on top of her, you-
"No, no!" Anna wasn't entirely sure which of them she was talking to with that. Remembering - belatedly - that she shouldn't be speaking to Mara aloud in front of strangers at all, she gathered herself as best she could. "That was just an accident, and entirely forgiven." There, that was properly... well, proper, wasn't it? She edged away from him, more from a desire to have solid ground under her than anything. "You needn't trouble yourself about it further." She paused next to his horse, which... was just standing there. She buried a frown.
"You're far too kind, Your Highness."
"Anna," she corrected. He was a prince, so calling each other by title or rank just felt kind of silly. "Hello," she said to his horse, scratching it under the chin the way she'd seen some of the stablehands do over the years when she'd been peeking in on them. It made a pleased, chuffing sound, which troubled her for the same reason she'd been forced to observe the palace horses from a distance, rather than go into the stable herself.
Horses just did not like her.
Technically, I think the horses don't like me, Mara corrected. They can sense me, but they can't see me. I'm an unknown, and a potential threat. She paused. Admittedly, there have been a few horses in the past that had legitimate reason to avoid me. I didn't hurt them, though.
Which was interesting... But either way, the fact remained that, her or Mara, Hans' horse should have been freaking out. Instead, it had no problem with her at all. "I need to get going," she blurted out. Admittedly, just because the horse was weird didn't mean Hans was... but Mara didn't trust easily - or at all, in some cases - at the best of times. There was too much going on today to include it in that category. "Don't wanna be late for my sister's coronation. Um, I'll see you there? Bye!" With a final wave, she turned and headed smoothly toward the church. She was pretty sure even Elsa would have approved of her exit. Mostly.
There was a splash behind her. A quick look showed that Hans' horse had evidently been mimicking his actions again, because it's hoof was in the air and the boat was upside down in the water, presumably with Hans underneath it.
It was hard to keep a straight face with Mara giggling the whole way to the church.