Written to: Harrison St. - Ryan Groff, crosspost from AO3
Solecism: A grammatical mistake, a minor blunder in speech. A breach of etiquette or decorum.
"The Lady Jane demands closure," Thor says apologetically, scuffing at a spot in the carpet that has been there for centuries and looking at his feet, if only to avoid Loki's furious gaze. "And it would truly be rude not to grant her that, would it not?"
Loki scoffs, rolls his eyes. In his opinion, this Lady Jane Foster was not someone who deserved anything. In Loki's opinion, having Natalie Portman portray her was nothing short of blasphemy to Natalie Portman, whom he was sure was a very nice person in real life and nothing at all like Jane. Helpless, pitiful, Midgardian Jane. Loki scoffs, examines his nails, and allows Thor to squirm a little longer.
"The Lady Darcy said it would be horrendously rude if I did not accompany her to this social function," Thor protests, knowing full well that Loki and Darcy are best friends. "I did not want to commit any social faux pas."
"Faux pas, I assume you mean. Not fox paws."
"Yes, that," Thor agrees, shooting a tentative look at Loki, who is still glaring daggers at him. He quickly looks back down. "And I have already sworn to her that I would attend her at the ball for the medics."
Loki sighs, lamenting Thor's manipulability for the first time. Usually he was the one manipulating, so it didn't matter, but this, this was really much too much. He briefly wonders if there might be some way to make Lady Jane gain fifty pounds without being too conspicuous. A strange addiction to cheesy potatoes? Loki snickers to himself, thinking about how she would be featured on a TLC TV show.
Thor smiles tentatively, unsure what Loki is laughing at. From the tone of his laughter, it cannot be very kind, but as long as Loki is not shouting at him, anything would be nice.
"Very well, since you have already promised her you would go, I suppose you must," Loki says, shooing Thor away as he heads into the library to research some choice spells on food fascination. "Don't forget to compliment her."
"Compliment her? What ought I to say to her?" Thor asks, tagging along and holding out a hand to keep the library door from closing. Loki looks back, disgruntled.
"I don't know," he says, shrugging. "Tell her she looks thin. I believe Midgardian women enjoy that sort of thing."
The instant Thor sees Jane, he breaks out into a bright smile, reaches for her hand, kisses it.
Tells her that she looks lovely, looks positively brilliant, looks incredibly malnourished.
Jane gasps, colours, and slaps him across the face, storming off.
Loki is hard pressed to keep from laughing when Thor relates the story to him, back in Asgard with an ice pack held to his face and a brilliant swelling of red in the shape of a hand across his cheekbone. He sorts the potato addiction spell into his head for later, thinking that Jane has suffered enough for the present moment.