Disclaimer: Frozen and all recognizable characters are owned by Disney. (Though I'm pretty sure you all knew that, already. ^_^ )
Summary: Rather than talking to paintings, after Elsa shut her out, Anna took to playing with her invisible friend, Mara. Only, as she grew up, Mara didn't go away.
Author's Note: Now, there is a song in this chapter, but I'm not gonna tell you which one just yet. Instead, if only to surprise you a tiny bit, I'll list the song and artist at the end of the chapter, instead.
"Anna!"
The word tore its way free of Elsa's throat in a ragged shout. She didn't feel it. She didn't feel any of the minor cuts or bruises that being knocked down and pelted with debris had caused. She didn't even feel her usual reflexive desire not to attract unnecessary attention. All she felt was an overwhelming need to find her sister. She pushed herself up, gritted her teeth as she forced aside a momentary surge of lightheadedness, and started toward the door.
"Queen Elsa, wait!" Carlos. He grabbed her arm, heedless of the magic he'd seen her display. He was brave enough, she'd give him that. Not very bright, though, if he actually thought she was going to stop. "You can't just run after her."
"I think you'll find that I can," she snapped.
"Not alone, and not without a plan."
"I think you've helped enough!" The temperature began dropping. "You couldn't leave her alone, could you? You had to keep pushing!"
"And with good reason. You yourself intimated that the wraith within her might have been manipulating her, creating illusions of appearance or seeming."
"I wasn't thinking-"
"And you are now?" he interrupted. She couldn't remember the last time someone - who wasn't Anna, anyway - had done that to her. "If you just run out there, shouting for your sister, you're liable to get another lightning bolt thrown at your head." He gestured toward the hole in the wall.
"She wasn't aiming at anyone," Elsa disagreed. "She was just hurt and angry, and was lashing out." However she felt about Mara, she didn't believe she would have risked attacking anyone standing so close to Anna in such a manner. She shook her head. "This is pointless. We have to find Anna before she does something foolish. With demons and mind controlled government officials about, it would be far too easy for her to get into trouble."
"And the wraith?"
"I imagine they'll be together," she said dryly, pulling her arm free of his grasp and heading for the doors. They only had a little time before servants came running to investigate what must have sounded, to them , like an explosion.
"That is not what I mean, and you know it."
She sighed. "Mara's been with Anna since she was five. If that demon was as surprised by her name being mentioned as you say, then chances are she's hiding, for whatever reason."
"Perhaps. It is also worth mentioning, however, that in centuries of recorded encounters with wraiths, none of them have ever hinted at any control over the weather. If that's a side effect of bonding with a host for so long... We can't let them get their hands on her."
Oh, wonderful. Because, clearly, she hadn't had enough to be worrying about, yet. "I think that's what I've been saying this whole time," she said archly. For very different reasons, but as long as their goal was the same, she'd let him tag along. For now, at any rate.
She'd barely gotten into the hallway before running into the crowd of servants she'd been expecting. She quickly assured them everyone was fine - pulling the door to her study closed behind her to keep them from seeing the damage for the time being - and sent them on their way. Kai and Gerda, however, she enlisted in helping her find Anna. She impressed upon them that Anna was distraught, and calming her down was a priority, after which they should get word to Elsa as to her location.
She knew that the hole in the castle wouldn't go unnoticed for long, assuming it hadn't been seen already. A massive lightning bolt was difficult to miss, after all, especially at night. She would eventually have to deal with that. And she would.
Later.
More pressing, however, was the fact that, if she was right, and Mara had been hiding, she'd just loudly - very loudly, in fact - announced her presence to anyone who'd know what to look for. She'd be running. And Anna, hurt and confused, would naturally want to go with her.
She had to hurry, before she lost Anna for good.
Anna, where are you going?
"I don't know," Anna admitted as she ran down one of the halls. In the back of her mind, there was the thought that Elsa wouldn't like it that she was running... which only made her run faster.
No more. No more lying, no more pretending, no more concealing. All that time she'd spent arguing with her sister to give up her 'Conceal, Don't Feel' approach, and all the while, Elsa had insisted that she conceal her best friend from the world.
And rightly so. You have no idea the things I've done in the past... or the enemies I've made. If my existence was widely known, you would have been in danger.
Well, after that lightning bolt, everyone would certainly know something was here, if not who or what.
Yes... I know.
She didn't like the sound of that.
Anna... Mara began slowly.
"No."
Anna, you have to realize...
"No!"
I refuse to put you in danger.
"All my life, you're the only one who's never left me," Anna replied, fighting back tears. "You can't go now."
Do you think I want to? But I could lead them away from you.
"No. I told you, whatever comes, we'll face it together." She burst through a door that lead outside, onto the castle ramparts... and skidded to a halt before she ran into the person standing there.
Which, she realized a moment later, was silly of her, as the person in question was Mara, meaning no one was actually standing there. "Anna, you're not thinking," Mara said urgently. "If you run like this, when they know I'm here... You won't be able to come back from this. They'll assume I've corrupted you, somehow."
"Then they'll be wrong. They've been wrong about a lot of things."
"And your sister? Anna, all your life you've wanted to get your relationship with her back, and you've finally achieved that. Don't throw it all away now. I'm not worth that."
Anna stared at her, aghast. "Yes, you are! Don't ever say things like that!"
"No, I'm not. I've told you, Anna, you have no idea what I've done. Some things... I hope you never do." She sighed. "Listen to me. Just... say you're sorry. You can still be with your sister. What you've worked and waited for. You can have all you ever wanted..." It might have been because of her connection to Anna, but she'd unintentionally started singing her words, if only a little. Neither really paid that sort of thing any attention, anymore. Anna had always loved to sing, after all. It was something she and Elsa had once had in common.
"I know," Anna acknowledged softly. It didn't matter, though. If only out of habit, she slipped into song, as well. "But I don't want it- No. I can't want it, anymore..." She looked out over the fjord. "Something has changed within me. Something is not the same. I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game. Too late for second-guessing, too late to go back to sleep. It's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes, and leap! It's time to try defying gravity. I think I'll try defying gravity. And you can't pull me down!" This was sung while pointing at Mara, then she spun about and started walking along the castle wall.
Mara shook her head and followed her, singing, "Can't I make you understand? You're having delusions of grandeur..."
Anna knew better, though. She was finally standing up for herself, and for Mara. No matter how anyone else felt about it. "I'm through accepting limits, 'cause someone says they're so. Some things I cannot change, but till I try, I'll never know! Too long I've been afraid of losing love I guess I've lost. Well, if that's love-"she yanked the ruined amulet from her neck, breaking the clasp, and threw the wretched thing on the ground. "-it comes at much too high a cost! I'd sooner buy, defying gravity. Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity. And you can't pull me down..."
"You don't know what you're saying..." Mara's resistance was clearly waning. As much as she hated the thought of letting Anna do something she knew she'd regret, she couldn't deny that, over the years, she'd preferred it when it was just the two of them, and Elsa was a non-factor.
And Anna knew it. "Unlimited... Together we're unlimited. Together we'll be the greatest team there's ever been. Dreams, the way we planned 'em..."
She knew she shouldn't agree to this, but if Anna was so dead set on it... Maybe it would be possible for her to make up with Elsa later on, after all? Once everything was settled? If not... "If we work in tandem..."
If not, she'd keep Anna safe. No matter what.
Together, they sang, "There's no fight we cannot win. Just you and I Defying gravity With you and I Defying gravity..."
"They'll never bring us down!" Anna boldly declared.
"This is insane, you realize."
"Maybe," she admitted. "But I don't care." The sky rumbled overhead, and a fog bank had encircled the castle. Good, she thought. That would help mask their escape. Clearly, she and Mara were on the same page on this. How far did the whole weather thing go, anyway? Was it just lightning and (evidently) fog, or was there more to it? Wraiths, she was fairly sure, could fly on their own, but if Mara was anchored to her, they'd have to try something else. If it worked...
This would be so much fun.
"Princess Anna!" Gerda called from back the way she'd come. She turned to see the servant hurrying after her, a guard disappearing through the door into the castle. Going to fetch Elsa, no doubt.
No time to linger, then.
Anna dashed along the wall, only slowing when she got to a spot where she could climb up onto the edge.
"What are you thinking?" Mara asked her warily. She was far too familiar with Anna's impulsive nature to believe there was a fully formed plan in her mind, but hopefully there would be at least a vague idea.
This was the longest in a while Mara had maintained the illusion of a physical presence. Maybe, once they were finally away from prying eyes, she'd be able to do so more often. "I already told you," she said simply. The fjord partially lost in the fog, but she could clearly see the North Mountain off in the distance. That would be far enough away from the castle - and Arendelle - that Elsa would be able to deal with Hans and his 'friends' without Mara being placed at risk.
"Your Highness, what are you doing?"
She couldn't be upset with the woman. Not really, anyway. Any secrets she'd kept from Anna, it was because she'd promised the King she wouldn't say anything. And a promise was a promise. "I'm leaving, Gerda. And you're not going to stop me."
Poor Gerda. She obviously had no idea what was going on. Unfortunately, Anna didn't have time to explain. She couldn't take the chance that Elsa might risk using her magic to prevent her from leaving, or that Carlos whatever-his-name-was had something else up his sleeve that might hurt Mara. She wasn't sure she'd be able to get away from them again.
There was one thing she could do, though. One final nod to the fractured bond she and her sister had shared. She could make it clear to Gerda (and anyone else who might come along before she got away) that she was acting alone. She could tell Mara understood and approved of the plan. She even let her illusory body vanish to help her remember which pronouns to use.
And if Mara was with her on this...
She lifted a foot and set it down on the fog... which shimmered where she stepped, feeling for all the world like a solid surface. With a giddy smile, she pushed herself up onto the fog, taking several steps away from the castle. The fog actually didn't extend far enough to cross the fjord, she saw, but it did at least stop Gerda from following her. Besides... She had a better idea, if Mara could do it. "So if you care to find me, look to the Northern sky! As someone told me lately: 'Everyone deserves the chance to fly!'" Even as she sang the last word, the wind surged under her and lifted her up into the air. This, she decided, was easily the most amazing thing she and Mara had ever done together. "And if I'm flying solo, at least I'm flying free! To those who'd ground me, take a message back from me." Why just hover, she decided, when they could fly? She let the wind sweep her along in time with the song, diving, gliding, swooping, climbing... She didn't think she could ever get tired of this."Tell them how I am defying gravity! I'm flying high, defying gravity! And soon I'll match them in renown! And nobody - no master of laws, no Snow Queen that there is or was - is ever gonna bring me down!"
With that, she let the wind carry her off into the fog, toward the North Mountain. And for the first time in forever...
She was free.
Elsa stood frozen in the doorway out onto the wall, staring in stupefied amazement as her sister flew away. Flew. She didn't even know what to say in response to that.
Knowing Anna, she was probably loving it.
She didn't bother asking if that was normal or not. Carlos had already made it clear that he'd never heard of a long-term bond between a wraith and a human before, so by definition, it couldn't be normal, could it? The wind picking up had drowned out a lot of Anna's song - she doubted anyone not out on the wall had heard it at all, which was just as well - but she'd caught enough to pick up on the gist of it, and it made her heart hurt. She wanted to try and make it up to Anna, to make things right, but how? What could she say or do that would fix this?
She had no idea. Her thoughts kept getting stuck on one part of Anna's song, the words repeating over and over in her head:
...no Snow Queen that there is or was...
She wasn't sure when Anna had developed that less than flattering nickname for her - this was the second time she'd used it while angry, so it couldn't be too recently - and right then, she didn't care. She was more focused on something else. 'No Snow Queen that there is or was'? Was? She had done a great deal of research into attempting to ascertain the origin of her magic, as had her father before her. It didn't exactly run in the family - being the Royal Family, they had detailed records on all relatives, close or distant. She wasn't the first, the illustration in that old book her father had gotten from his study the night she'd hurt Anna proved that. (She suspected he'd been quietly looking into the matter ever since her magic had first manifested, but prior to that, it hadn't been a priority.) Unfortunately, it didn't provide any details, and a question to the trolls before they'd left them that night had made it clear that they didn't seem to know, either.
She'd never even considered asking Mara.
The idea that an answer she'd been looking for her whole life might have been right there, the entire time...
Well, she'd already decided she had to go after Anna. All this meant was she'd have one more question to ask when she caught up with her. Them. "Have my steed waiting for me in the courtyard," she told Gerda, then turned and headed back inside at a rapid pace.
"Your Majesty," Carlos began behind her.
She could guess what he was going to say, and she didn't want to hear it. "I'm the only one who has any chance of talking her into coming home, and if you even suggest using force, our garden will be getting a new ice sculpture."
"You cannot simply leave while anyone who might be in charge during your absence is under demonic influence," he continued, unphased.
"You'd better start handing out those amulets, then."
"And where are you going?" Because even he could tell this was not the way to the courtyard.
"To change. This is hardly appropriate attire for horse riding, after all."
"I would ask that you not leave without me." Before she could object - and she was going to - he pressed on. "If the wraith is exercising her abilities so blatantly, she's running. Which means it's all too likely she'll be chased, and you have no combat experience."
That... was true. She had her magic, yes, but even thinking about using it against someone brought up images of Anna laying there, still and cold. Monsters and demons weren't the same as her little sister, so should the need arise, she would probably be able to fight them. She hoped.
But she wasn't going to stake her sister's future on maybes. "You'd better hurry then, hadn't you?"
Anna already had a decent-sized head start, and it was getting bigger by the second.
The lyrics in question are, obviously, a somewhat modified version of 'Defying Gravity', composed by Stephen Schwartz, originally recorded by Idina Menzel and Kristin Chenoweth. So I suppose it's somewhat ironic that the character not voiced by Idina in the movie got to sing it here. ;)