Written to: Won't Go Home Without You - Maroon 5, crosspost from AO3
Pettifoggery: A trivial quarrel.
"It is our 5,000th," Laufey says one wintry Jötunheimr morning as he wakes up to find the icy sun shining in through the window and flowers creeping onto the windowsill.
"Hard to believe," Farbauti agrees, stitching yet another quilt for Modi. And Laufey loves his grandson, really he does, but he doesn't quite understand why the baby needs thousands of blankets and thick clothes. Surely, his jötunn blood is sufficient to protect him from the mild cold spells Asgard sometimes suffers, from when Loki is feeling a bit upset at Thor and casts eternal winter over the entire land. Loki had convinced Farbauti and Laufey to watch Frozen as well - Farbauti had been humming Olaf's In Summer song for the past six months, much to Laufey's amused chagrin. "Has it really been so long since we got married?"
"Indeed it has been," Laufey says, sitting up and smiling at his wife across the room. "Of course, it would appear that time passes quickly when you are with one to enjoy it with."
"You flatter me," Farbauti says, blushing prettily and turning her face to the side. "Did you have any plans for today?" she inquires, setting down her embroidery.
"Not really," Laufey admits. There wasn't much to do today, he didn't think - some administration of the local villages, one tribal jötunn squabbling over frost chicken grazing grounds, something of the sort, nothing that Helblindi couldn't take care of...but Helblindi was on Midgard with Darcy, and as much as he loved his sons, Laufey was not quite sure if Byleistr would be able to produce a fair judgment, and Loki didn't care for administration at all. Helblindi was clearly the most suited to ruling of the three; Byleistr would as soon eat the frost chickens and the tribal jötunn as make a decision, and Loki would most likely turn the jötunn into a frost chicken himself for bothering him with such trivial matters.
"We would need to bring Helblindi back for whatever duration of the events you have planned," Laufey says. "I am reluctant to cut his time with the Midgardian woman short, short as it is already."
Farbauti taps her mouth, thinking. "She could come with him," she says, with a slight shrug. "Helblindi can show her around the realm after he is done with his duties."
Laufey looks pointedly out the window, at the bleak, icy landscape. "Yes, because Jotunheimr has a lot in terms of sightseeing and tourism," he says, with a little laugh. Farbauti just smiles innocently, tells him that she had planned a trip to the Caribbean; Loki had spoken highly of the place .
"She seems like a responsible woman," Farbauti says, convincingly. "I am sure she could help Helblindi in whatever things he has to negotiate."
And because Farbauti seems so clearly excited about visiting the Caribbean, because she's been humming Olaf's part for the past six months, Laufey can do nothing but acquiesce.
"How much grazing land could six chickens possibly need?" Darcy asks, horrified. The tribal jötunn glares at her, looks pleadingly up at Helblindi, waiting for him to talk sense into the dithering Midgardian woman who clearly knew nothing about the intricacies and needs of frost chickens. Unfortunately, the crown prince seemed rather infatuated with the woman, much to the jötunn's dismay, so he was left, in his faltering knowledge of English, to try to argue his point.
"Six chicken, much territorial, will kill," he explains, staring up at her.
"Kill what?" Darcy asks, seemingly ignorant to the jötunn's increasing frustration. "Kill each other?"
"No, no," he explains, frowning. "Kill jötunn."
"You're afraid of six chickens?"
The jötunn snarls a few choice words in his own language, prompting Helblindi to turn to him and tell him in a very firm tone that the meeting was over and his chickens would only have a certain designated area in which to roam.
The jötunn sighed, backed out of the throne room, and made a mental note to invest in some good, strong armour and a sharp pitchfork to keep the bloodthirsty chickens at bay.