Disclaimer: Frozen and all recognizable characters are owned by Disney. (Though I'm pretty sure you all knew that, already. ^_^ )
Summary: Rather than talking to paintings, after Elsa shut her out, Anna took to playing with her invisible friend, Mara. Only, as she grew up, Mara didn't go away.
Author's Note: To make up for no update last week (holiday + Black Friday = screwed up writing schedule), you get another song here, this time a Mara solo: "Myself", by Fireflight.
While Anna had originally planned on just flying right to the North Mountain and seeing what she found there, common sense - or, more accurately, Mara - had prevailed, insisting that she at least stock up on provisions, first. Unlike her sister, Anna was not immune to the cold, and if she simply flew up to the snowy peak, there would also be a distinct lack of food or shelter.
"You sure know how to suck the fun out of things, sometimes," Anna decided as they landed in the forest. As much as she loved flying, she would admit a certain level of relief to have solid ground under her feet again.
We are not having fun, Mara replied flatly. We're running away.
"You were all for it at the time," Anna pointed out defensively.
I know. And I'm not suggesting we go back. After being with you for so long, though... Running like this feels cowardly. Even though I know I couldn't win a straight-up fight, and that luring them from Arendelle is what's best for the people. It's the only thing that I - that we - can do, but it doesn't feel good.
"...yeah, I know." She'd been trying really hard not to think about that. Or that she'd essentially turned her back on the only life she'd ever known. Or that she had no real plan for survival, let alone the future.
Once things settle down, and the Order's agent leaves, you should be able to go back and sort things out with your sister, Mara told her.
"I don't want to think about Elsa right now, either." She sighed, picked a random direction, and started walking. It was summer, at least, so for the time being, she was perfectly comfortable in her dress.
Her shoes, however, were not exactly meant for a walk in the woods. As such, she had to be careful about where she stepped. It was dark, but Mara could see just fine, which meant that she could, too.
Turn right. There's a shop ahead, a ways.
Anna obediently changed directions. "So... Can I ask what you were originally supposed to do with Elsa?"
Mara hesitated, then brought forth the illusion of a physical presence again. The moonlight wasn't making it through the trees very well, but Mara was able to make it seem like the forest was being perfectly illuminated by it, and her curly raven tresses shone in the illusory moonlight. "I was supposed to investigate, discover whether or not she had the kind of elemental magic that she does, and report back with my findings." Which Anna had more or less already known.
She just couldn't help thinking there was more to it than that. "That's the only reason you were sent here? Really?"
"I wasn't sent far. I've always lived in the Scandinavian region, as far back as I can remember."
That brought up a whole new avenue for conversation, which Anna immediately seized upon. She often wanted to ask Mara about herself, and her past, but usually restrained herself, knowing how uncomfortable such questions made her. If she was voluntarily opening up about it... "How long is that, exactly?"
Mara shrugged. "Hard to say. I didn't exactly measure time the way you do. Really, as a wraith, keeping track of days would have been utterly pointless. It would also have been rather difficult, lacking any kind of clock or calendar."
"Oh. I, um, suppose that's true..."
"No, you are not being foolish," Mara said, not even letting the thought fully form before she shot it down. "Given how long I kept my true nature from you, how could you be expected to know how I existed before? I did sometimes note certain alignments of the stars repeating, certain human celebrations or ceremonies coming and going. In the beginning... I was little more than a mindless hunger. I had certain knowledge, certain instincts, that told me how to feed, and when to withdraw. Over time, though, I slowly began noticing things. Understanding what the images in the nightmares I created were. I became aware. And after that, I became aware of the one controlling me. Controlling us."
"Who are you-"
"No," Mara interrupted. "Do not ask me. I will not speak its name." Her voice dropped to a whisper as she added, "I do not want it to hear me."
"But you're in my head. How could it-?"
"No, Anna. All you need know is that... it's evil. Pure and utter evil, incarnate. Wraiths do not need to inspire nightmares to sustain themselves. I've lived with you for thirteen years without giving you any, after all. It has us do so because it likes the fear we evoke. And it... It can make us like it, too," she admitted, sounding ashamed.
Anna was stuck somewhere between seeing red and feeling sick. "And... whoever or whatever you're talking about, it wants Elsa?"
"It wants her power," Mara corrected. "It doesn't care anything about your sister, herself, except possibly enjoying her suffering. Or it would, if it had someone relaying it."
"But you couldn't get in." They'd come to a halt, Anna staring at Mara, uncertain how to feel, while Mara herself stared at the ground, looking quietly miserable. It would be easy to be upset at Mara... but she couldn't. She'd just said, after all, that this thing - the Greater Spirit she'd said as little as possible about while explaining her true nature for the first time, no doubt - could make her feel what it wanted her to. If it had wanted her thinking that possessing Elsa was a good idea, she likely wouldn't have been able to think otherwise.
"Not the way I did with you, no. If I'd tried, I might have been able to influence her dreams to some extent, and either way, I could have continued reporting back my experiences... but I didn't. I'd been watching the two of you for some time, before the night of your accident, and I just... couldn't."
Anna hugged her. It had been a while since she'd done so, since Mara was seemingly physical enough for her to, but it felt comfortable and familiar enough that it might have been yesterday. Unlike in the beginning, Mara was much more at ease with such physical contact now. Only now, Anna was finally beginning to understand why such warmth and affection had seemed so alien to her at first: they had been.
Something occurred to her as she pulled back. "You were there? When it happened?"
Mara hesitated, then admitted, "I was... not, no." At Anna's look, she added, "One of the maids... I was hungry, and..."
"I get it," Anna told her. "It's okay. You didn't know any other way to be, then."
"No," she agreed. "I didn't know anything was wrong, at first. You and your sister playing, unobserved, so that she could use her magic, was hardly unprecedented. I'd been stalling, by then, claiming I needed more time to be certain she was the one they were looking for. If I didn't watch the two of you, I wouldn't know if she was or not. But then came the shouting, and the fear... I could have felt that from the other side of the castle. When your parents took you to the trolls, I followed."
"The trolls..." Anna had almost forgotten about them. "I wonder, could they help us with the whole demonic mind control situation?"
"They do have some experience with mind magic... as you yourself know all too well."
"Right." Really, they kind of owed her for that, didn't they?
"Let's give your sister and that Order man a chance, first, before we start bringing anyone else in on this."
Mara obviously wasn't thrilled about that idea, and Anna thought she knew why. "Don't worry, if we do go talk to them, I won't let them do anything to hurt you, or try and separate us."
"I know. I'd just... rather not start any new fights, if it can be avoided."
"Neither do I." Not that she really knew how to fight.
"I do, if we have to," Mara told her. "Though doing that with someone would be a whole new experience." And not one she was looking forward to.
"Right. So, in the meantime...?"
Mara resumed 'walking', Anna keeping pace with her. "As I said, in the beginning, I was mostly a creature of instinct. When that began to change... My earliest memories of things beyond feeding are shadowy images of what might have been vikings, though by the time I was aware enough to have coherent thoughts, they were long gone. It may have been a remnant colony, I suppose. Even they're gone now, though."
Anna stumbled for a second before recovering. Mara had stated that she'd existed before she and Anna had first met, yes, but not that she'd been around for so long. "You know," she finally said, "you don't look terribly Scandinavian." With her wild mane of black, curly hair, and her dark, dark eyes, had anyone but Anna been able to see her, she would have instantly stood out in any crowd.
"I know," Mara said with a shrug that easily conveyed how little that bothered her. "I suppose I could if I really wanted to, but when I let people see me, this is what I look like. I suppose I might have picked it up during my travels."
"What travels?"
"I told you that I've lived in this part of the world as far back as I can remember, but that doesn't mean I never left. Sometimes, I was... recalled, I guess you could say, to where the evil dwells." She pointedly didn't say where that was. "Then, one time when I was traveling home, I overheard someone discussing a 'fourth crusade'. I didn't even know what a crusade was, let alone why it was evidently happening for the fourth time, and... I was curious. I knew I wasn't supposed to, that I should have just gone home, but I decided to investigate. Of course, it might have helped if I'd had any idea where the Crusaders were, or where they were going."
Anna stifled a laugh as best she could. "Oh, no."
"Oh, yes. Though, I suppose it's just as well. As I understand it, had I known where to go, all I would have found was blood and violence. Instead, I ultimately wound up in Milan. It was so strange to me, so different from what I knew, but I still thought it lovely. I was content to explore for a time, but I did eventually get homesick... and I could never shake the fear that I would be discovered, and punished. Willfulness, independent thought... They were not exactly encouraged. So I went home, and if anyone knew about my... detour, they didn't seem to care. But I'd gotten a taste of something new, so I started to wander. Up and down Scandinavia, from beyond Arendelle to far south of the Southern Isles. I started paying more attention to the people, not just looking for those who were most susceptible to my nightmares. I learned how to tap into their knowledge of languages, writing, mathematics... I began asking questions. And every time I was summoned to- Well, there, I made sure to give myself extra time both ways, so I could make other detours." She sighed, looking down. "It was the questions that started getting me into trouble."
Anna didn't like the sound of that. "What kind of trouble?"
"Not the kind you're thinking, exactly," Mara assured her. "Asking questions was one thing, questioning the authority of- Well, let's just say I was smart enough not to make that mistake. But that was the problem: I was smart enough. Mindless creatures that were little more than tools or weapons to be turned loose when needed, hungry spirits that cared for nothing but their next meal? He - it - could call them forth at will. One that could think? Could plan? That displayed evidence of any kind of tactical knowledge? That was another story. I started getting specific assignments. Specific targets. And I... I carried out my instructions. I had to. I was being watched carefully, especially at first. It didn't really bother me, at the time. I mean, wraiths aren't exactly high up there, in the hierarchy of the supernatural world, so to be afforded actual responsibility...?"
"I get it." She did, too. She knew what it was like to be dismissed as useless and inferior by many for most of your life, then have someone - Elsa, in her case - who began trusting you to handle things.
"Also... Well, everything I'd learned was mainly judged in importance by how it affected me. I mean, there isn't exactly any kind of camaraderie among the forces of evil... which is where I was."
"You are not evil!" Anna protested.
"Anna, both the Church and that book of your sister's mentions me by name. That isn't a coincidence. If the Order of Saint George had many agents stationed in this part of the world, Mister Araya would have known who I was, too. I was very, very good at my job, because I didn't care."
"Well... Like you said, there wasn't anyone around you could have learned how to be otherwise from," Anna managed.
"No," Mara agreed. "Not until I met you. When I came to Arendelle... Before my awakening, I have no idea who - or even what, for that matter - I would have fed on. Afterward... I never thought anything of it, but I tended to target adults, or teenagers at the youngest. I had no real experience with children. I'd seen them, yes, but they were never my focus. The bond between you and Elsa, the loving sisterly relationship... I didn't know what to make of it. Your sister had no idea where her magic came from, or what it might grow into, but she didn't care. It was just part of her, and she accepted that. And you... In all my travels, I've never met anyone quite like you. You have so much love in your heart, even now, even after everything you've endured. All that loss, all that tragedy, yet you've never stopped being optimistic, caring, and determined. In truth, I started paying more attention to you than I was Elsa, even though by then I'd seen evidence of her magic."
"Me? Really?" It wasn't that she doubted Mara, exactly, or that she hadn't known pretty much since the beginning that Mara liked her better, but the thought of her outshining Elsa in any possible way was so foreign to her that she couldn't help but ask.
"Yes, you," Mara replied. "You still don't understand what you did, do you?" Really, she decided, there was only one way to get through to Anna about this: in song. She didn't usually sing by herself - well, she never did - but if that was what it took... "You turned a page inside my heart, brought the light when my world was so dark. I feel something I can't explain. You consumed me and took on my shame." She didn't need to start dancing, did she? Make a big production out of the whole thing? She hoped not. That might distract Anna from her words, and she needed to pay attention to them. Closely.
"Everything is gone that held me down, your arms are around me. All the pain has left my selfish heart, and your love it surrounds me."
"You're not selfish," Anna told her softly. "You've never really asked for anything, in all the time I've known you."
Which was kind of the point... "You woke me up, and made me learn to love more than myself. You took my hand before I knew there was more than myself."
She stopped, placing her hands on Anna's shoulder, meeting her gaze squarely. She needed to be sure Anna got this. "Eyes opened wide, I see your face. For the first time I'm not in my way. A love like I have never known. A veil is lifted, now I'm not alone. Everything is gone that held me down, your arms are around me. All the pain has left my selfish heart, and your love it surrounds me. You woke me up, and made me learn to love more than myself. You took my hand before I knew there was more than myself."
Anna, eyes glistening, told her, "You won't be alone, either. Not as long as I'm here. Neither of us will."
Mara smiled. Finally, comprehension. Time to start wrapping this up, then. "Now that I know, I've finally found my home. This life is not my own. Whatever we go through, I will follow you.
You woke me up, and made me learn to love more than myself. You took my hand before I knew there was more than myself. You woke me up, and made me learn to love more than myself. You took my hand before I knew there was more than myself."
Anna hugged her again. Really, she had no choice. Once she stepped back, she cleared her throat, unobtrusively wiped at her eyes, and said, "Okay! We should... totally go find that shop you mentioned before."
Mara smiled at her fondly. "Yes, I think that would be-" She abruptly broke off, stiffening, and began looking around in sharp, jerky motions.
She'd picked up on something, Anna realized, stomach clenching. Something she didn't like. Was it the demon? A minion? Hans? Should she remain still? Resume walking like nothing was wrong? Start running? Maybe she should-
"Get down!" Mara shouted.
Or that, Anna thought as she promptly dropped to the ground. That worked, too.
Something sailed through the air her body had been occupying, snarling as it missed her. Her first impression was a jumble of fur, fangs, and claws - the latter two of which seemed far bigger and sharped than they had any cause to be. Was it a wolf?
No, she saw as she hurriedly pushed herself to her feet. It clearly was not a wolf. Wolves were not bipedal. They were also not seven feet tall, and certainly did not have glowing red eyes. "What in the world...?" she blurted out, taking an instinctive step away from it... only to freeze when its attention abruptly sharpened at her movement.
She didn't need to look to see that Mar had let the illusion of a body go, though she was maintaining Anna's night vision. I think... It may be an aufhocker.
"Um, bless you?"
Mara didn't even make a dry remark like she usually would have, which would have told her how bad things were even if the snarling beast wasn't looking at her like she was about to be its dinner. It's a shapeshifter. Mentioned in German folklore. I've never encountered one this far north. Hans' "friend" must have brought it. The name aufhocker means "leap upon." This is because according to legend, the aufhocker would leap upon the back of the victim before biting their throats. In most cases, the aufhocker is considered to be a very dangerous theriomorph that tears the throats out of humans. The connection to attacking victims in the throat is what links the aufhocker to vampirism. They don't really have an identifiable shape. It's known for taking on the form of animals and in some cases, human beings in order to fulfill whatever duty it sees fit.
She had no real idea what a 'theriomorph' was - though given the context, she supposed she could guess - and was too busy freaking out to give any real thought to her mention of vampirism, which may or may not have been real. She could worry about that later. Right now, she just wanted to know what they were going to do about the thing. She doubted it would just keep standing there and growling indefinitely.
The aufhocker can not be killed, as far as I know, Mara told her, making her heart sink. In vampire mythology, sunlight and church bells are often used to frighten vampires. These defenses are also linked to the aufhocker.
Great. They didn't have either of those.
I know.
Maybe it wasn't actually immortal? Maybe it just took care not to let the knowledge of what could hurt it spread?
Even if that was true, I still wouldn't know how to kill it.
They had to do something.
We can fight, but I don't know if we can win.
They definitely wouldn't if they didn't even try.
True.
Then there was no more time to talk, because the aufhocker was leaping at her again, slavering jaws opened wide to tear out her throat.