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Take care and enjoy.

CHAPTER 18

CATHERINE POV

"Shit. Shit. Shit."

My frantic pacing continues, only interrupted when I toss the various pens and other items topping the layout table across the room, each one skittering along its own path until it rests along the cold tile floor.

"Catherine."

"Fuck!"

Head in my hands, I sink down onto a nearby stool, trying to keep myself from literally crawling out of my skin.

"Cath…hon…"

Looking up, my eyes, brimming with moisture, meet my longtime friend's.

"Kelly…God, what did I do…"

Kelly lets out a tense sigh, coming to stand next to me, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder.

"How could I have said that to her?"

"You were upset…"

I shake my head vigorously. "That's not an excuse. Not for something like that."

"No," Kelly agrees. "It's not."

"God," I groan. "I'm losing my mind. All this shit with Eddie, with the case, with trying to make things work here in Vegas."

I lower my head, "I don't know what the hell I'm doing anymore."

"Hey," Kelly soothes softly, hand rubbing along my back in gentle strokes. "You're trying to do the best you can for you and your daughter, Cath."

Kelly tries to get me to meet her eyes.

"You're only one person, though, Catherine. You can't keep trying to do things on your own."

"I'm not," I counter. "You've helped me more than I can stand to think. I never would have made it this far without you."

"But this stuff with Eddie," Kelly counters. "I can't help you with that, not the way you need. Having Lindsey stay at my place is only a temporary fix and you know that as well as I do."

I feel Kelly grow slightly hesitant as she plans her next words carefully.

"This deal for protection that Sara worked out with…Brass, was it? It sounded like a pretty good idea."

"It means filing formal charges against Eddie."

Kelly nods.

"Which he more than deserves. In fact, it's something he deserved years ago when the two of you were together."

Kelly was never a fan of Eddie, and it's not hard to imagine why. All she saw was a man who endangered her friend, physically and emotionally. Kelly never really understood what I saw in him, and I'm sure she still harbors that same point of confusion.

"It's not just that," I tell Kelly. "It means Eddie can bring up anything he wants from my past. The cocaine, the exotic dancing, the past that I've worked so hard to put behind me."

"He can say whatever the hell he wants," Kelly stays firm. "Doesn't change the amazing person that you are. Your past is just your past."

Looking down, Kelly meets my eyes squarely.

"You need to do what you need to do to keep you and your beautiful little girl safe. Everything else is irrelevant."

I know she's right. Hell, I knew charging Eddie was the right thing to do the moment Sara forwarded me that file. It's working up the courage to pull the trigger on it that's the problem.

But, it appears Sara read through my hesitation and took that burden from me.

And, in return, I bully her, physically push her around for the second time in our short relationship, and basically spit the most hateful thing I could have said right in her face. All while she was simply trying to help me and Lindsey. I lash out when I'm vulnerable, that's for damn sure. But, this was extreme, even for me. I may be an emotional wreck right now, but that's no excuse to be taking it out on the one person who deserved it least of all.

"God, I need to apologize to Sara."

Kelly breaths out a long breath, "That's an understatement."

Giving my shoulder a supportive squeeze, Kelly moves to stand across from me. She goes quiet, and I can tell she's deep in thought.

"What you said…about her as a kid," Kelly eventually says quietly, voice somber. "Was it true?"

"Yes," I whisper, my heart and stomach sinking all over again when I think of the damage I've done. "Unfortunately."

"Shit."

"Yeah," I breathe out. "They made note of old injuries identified on her x-rays. Former breaks of multiple bones, some that were set properly, some that were left unfixed. Many were years old."

"Jesus," Kelly curses. "Do you know who or how?"

"No," I shake my head. "Sara's background information in her CSI file is very sparse. Almost purposefully so. Judging by the age of the fractures, she was young when it happened, just a child, and then lasted from what I can tell until her teens."

"Her parents?"

I shake my head, "I don't know. She never talks about family. And her personal information was no help. I have no idea who her parents were, if they're even living."

"Fuck." Kelly shakes her head angrily. "I'm really sorry to find that out about her. Not that I ever want it to happen to anyone, that goes without saying, but Sara seems so kind. A bit quiet and intense, yes, but you can tell that underneath it all she has a really good heart."

"She does," I agree, thinking back to our interactions.

They were often tense, heated. But, Sara's quest in all of them was always justice, integrity. Protection for me and my daughter. Simply doing what was right, no matter the cost.

"Damn it," I get out again, thinking of the woman I managed to hurt in perhaps the deepest of ways. "I need to make this right."

Kelly's expression says it all when she looks at me, echoing my own fears.

There may not be a way to make something like this right.

"Jim," I hesitantly knock on the open door. "Do you have a minute?"

Looking up, Brass politely gestures me in. "Catherine, good to see you. Come on in and close the door."

Doing as requested, I place myself in the chair across his large desk.

"I spoke with Sara."

He nods, "I'm really glad she came to me with this," he tells me pointedly, his unspoken statement loud to read.

"I'm sorry I didn't come to you personally," I address his innuendo. "I'm still new here and I didn't want to already be bringing my personal drama into the work place. I honestly thought I could handle this on my own."

"From what I can see," Brass tells me supportively, "it's only your ex that needs to be apologizing."

"Thanks," I get out, trying to keep the emotions from my voice.

"Look," Brass clears his throat, getting to the business at hand. "From the recording Sara shared, you have grounds for multiple charges. Threatening a minor, child endangerment, assault on an officer. I can go on. You also have everything you need to file for sole custody of Lindsey if you haven't previously."

I breathe out, having wanted to establish sole custody from the moment she was born. But, without evidence like this to Eddie's true nature, I never felt like I had the grounds for doing so.

Now, thanks to Sara, I finally do.

"I'd like that. I'd like that very, very much."

Brass nods. "Catherine, Sara also shared with me a little bit about there being other circumstances regarding your past with Eddie that you would like to remain private. Is that correct?"

I nod, surprised at Sara's thoughtfulness regarding my personal concerns.

"Yes."

"I can keep this discrete," he promises. "Sara and I brainstormed for a long time last night regarding ways to file and not have those things tied back to you. Keep the records sealed and the court hearings closed. She was clear that we would only proceed if it was of no risk to you. I think we came up with some pretty good ideas."

I close my eyes, wishing to hell I could numb the feelings pouring through me, the deepness to which they reach inside of me.

"You alright?" he questions gently.

"I just…" I open my eyes, meeting his gaze squarely. "I can't thank you enough Jim. I never expected anyone to be willing to do this for me, to go to these lengths. Especially when you guys barely know me."

"Thank Sidle," Jim laughs, oblivious to Sara and my earlier interactions just moments before. "Sara seems to think you and that little girl of yours are something special. And, I may not have known you long, but you've given me no reason to disagree."

I nod, trying to keep the tears from brimming over my eyes.

"How long could Eddie get for this?"

"For the things I listed from the recording?" Jim asks. "Couple years maybe. Assault on an officer is the biggest of the charges in terms of jail time. And Sara's willing to comply with filing a formal charge for those if you give permission. She's already let Sofia document her injuries from the altercation and written a formal statement. Everything is ready to go as soon as you say the word."

"God," I breathe out. "She just went through shit in court, and she's willing to go through all that legal nightmare again."

"You'll learn very quickly that when Sara considers doing things, the impact to herself is often the part she thinks about last, if at all," Brass says quietly, the respect and adoration he has for the young brunette clear to read in his gentle expression. "Much to my frustration."

I smile, heart sinking further as I can't imagine ever being able to make things with Sara right again. All this, she did all of this for me, with my best interest at heart, listening to my concerns regarding my past and finding ways around it. She did it for me. And what did I do for her? Bullied her and threw perhaps the darkest moments of her life right in her face.

"For what it's worth," Brass states sincerely. "From what I heard on that recording, you're doing the right thing. You and your daughter shouldn't have to live in fear of that jerk. No offense."

I smile through my emotions, for the first time staring to feel like Eddie is not going to always be a phantom haunting everything good in my life.

Now, if only I can stop doing my own damage to those around me.

"Do it. Arrest Eddie."

"Sara, please open this door."

Silence.

Knocking again, I rest my head against the solid wood.

"Sara. I need to talk to you."

I know I have no right to be asking anything of the brunette right now. Or ever really, after what I've done. But, I want nothing more than to apologize to her. It's such an inadequate gesture, but it's where I need to start.

But, it requires Sara to open her door.

Which she has not done for the last twenty three minutes of my knocking.

Knowing I'm walking a fine line of pissing of her neighbors, I try her cell one last time, my ear to the door to see if I can hear it ringing inside.

Hearing nothing but the same silence I've heard since arriving, I finally give up.

She may not even be home.

I know she's due in at shift tomorrow, but I was really hoping to catch her before then. I don't want another minute to go by without addressing my majorly inappropriate and regretful actions earlier. Actions that keep playing through my head, threatening to make me sick.

Sighing, I give one last defeated bang into her solid door, making my way dejectedly back to my car.

"And the DNA?"

"Match by default," Sara answers, pushing a piece of paper to our side of the table. "Fifty percent genetic overlap with our couple."

"Their son?" Grissom looks up in amazement, eyes alight at this new lead revealed by Sara at our morning briefing.

"Apparently he filed for emancipation as a minor, which is why he wasn't showing up. But, yes . Caleb Linton. He's our guy."

"DNA on the chainsaw."

"Only found it when I took them all apart," Sara nods. "Bastard wiped everything down, but forgot the underside of the chain on the very last one."

Grissom lets out a breath. "This is very good work, Sara. Let's bring him in."

"Brass is out with an APB right now," Sara nods. "As soon as they track him down he's ours for questioning."

"Great work."

Nodding to us in approval, Grissom gathers his things, heading off to complete his other tasks for the day.

"Hey," I call, stopping Sara's retreating form just as she makes it to the doorway. "Can I talk to you?"

Sara's body tenses, her head lowered before she turns towards me. Though she's facing me, she can't bring her gaze near mine.

"I can't do this right now," she tells me, voice low, exhausted.

As soon as I saw her this morning, it was clear where Sara was all night when I tried to find her at her place. She was here, hidden away in some remote lab apparently tearing apart every single tool that was in that shed.

She looks exhausted, features pale, hands trebling slightly from the likely multiple cups of coffee she's downed to try to keep herself awake. Add in the deep gash still marring her temple, and the young CSI looks physically and emotionally beaten down.

"Sara, please, I need-"

"I need to not do this now," Sara cuts me off, dark eyes fixing on the floor in front of her. "I'm sorry."

She's gone, leaving me standing alone in the breakroom, only the purring appliances breaking into the silence.

"It's been a week."

"And still nothing?"

"Nothing."

"She just needs time."

"It's Sara," I counter to my friend, leaning back in my chair as we watch Lindsey play in the front yard. "She'll never voluntarily talk about this. About anything, really."

"So what?" Kelly asks. "You just give up?"

"I don't know," I groan. "I want to try to make this right. She deserves an apology from me at the very least. But she won't even stay in the same room with me. Refuses to let me speak to her about anything other than our cases. Kel, she won't even look at me anymore."

"Yikes," Kelly breathes out.

As we watch Lindsey gathering leaves together, placing her stuffed bear carefully nearby, Kelly goes quiet.

"Maybe we need to try something else," her voice finally breaks the silence minutes later.

"Like?"

"Someone else."

"What?"

Kelly looks hesitant when she turns slightly towards me.

"Would you let me try to talk to her?"

"You?" I raise a brow.

"Yes, me. Your best friend who wants you to stop having to obsess over this every night for the rest of your life."

"And what do you plan to do exactly?"

Kelly shrugs. "Invite her to coffee or something. I don't know, I'll figure it out."

"And you think she'll go with you?" I question, having some serious doubts regarding this plan. Though Kelly is certifiably a genius, this plan seems to have more holes than substance.

"Sara's too polite to say no." Kelly thinks about this. "Or at least too polite to keep saying no after it becomes clear I won't stop asking."

I smile slightly, just imagining Kelly's persistent personality going head to head with Sara's stubborn one.

"You really think that's a good idea?" I question. "She probably already thinks I'm harassing her when I try to corner her every day in the lab. She'll be pissed if she thinks I sent my entourage after her as well."

"Your entourage?" Kelly laughs. "I prefer to think of myself as more of a sidekick, equal in my powers and capabilities."

"You know what I meant."

"Look," Kelly gets serious. "Either you keep trying your clearly failing plan of attack, you give up, or you let me give it a try. Those really are your only options at this point. And I know you better than to think you'd be satisfied with the first two."

"God I hate this," I groan, running my fingers through my hair.

Kelly lets me contemplate the very options she just listed to me, knowing I need to think this through. But, really, I think my mind has already been made up. Sara isn't going to waver when it comes to my attempts to get her to listen to me. For better or worse, Kelly probably is my only shot. It's a curveball that the brunette won't quite see coming. And, one I'm just as sure she won't quite know what to do with.

Which, when it comes to Sara, may be the only feasibly successful plan. Catch her off guard before she has a chance to block you out with her dozens of defensive walls.

"Good luck," I eventually tell Kelly, giving her the permission she needs to give this one last shot. "You're going to need it."

AN: Thanks for reading.