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Somebody familiar , though it was hard to focus through the pain .

"Dad?" Alex had only seen pictures. But it was unmistakable. The blonde hair. Brown eyes. But it was impossible. His dad was dead. Then in walked another person. A female.

"Mum?"

" Alex" The sound of his mums voice washed over him. This was not possible. But it was so real.

His mum walked over to him and reached out a hand to touch his face. He leaned into the touch trying to invalid himself in her warmth. Trying to remember every single feature in her hands. This would be the only time he could.

Before he could stop himself a tear rolled down his cheek.

"Mum help me please. I don't want to do this anymore. Please make it stop. Mum it hurts. It hurts everywhere. I give up. I only did it to keep her here. I didn't want her to go back to America. For my own selfish reasons. I didn't mean to. If I just said no then she wouldn't have died. Tom wouldn't have been tortured. The pleasures wouldn't be in danger. It's all my fault. Now look what happened." He couldn't stop himself. The tears were rolling down.

"I killed them. I killed them all. Mum do you know how many lives I've taken. It hurts. It hurts everywhere. I want it to end. Please mum. Please make it end." He knew he was begging but he just wanted it all to stop. It's not fair that he stays living, while the others died. He should be dead.

"Alex I'm so so sorry. This is my fault. If I knew this would I happen I would never have-" his dad was silenced by the sound of a bullet and a hole though his head.

"DAD!" Alex screamed.

His mum ran to his dad's side. She turned around to look at Alex. "Al, I love you-" then she too was silenced by another bullet.

"MUM" he screamed. "MUM DONT LEAVE ME. MUM WAKE UP" he couldn't run to them. His hands were tied to a pole behind him.

The door swung open and Ian walked in. He reached his parents and was shot dead.

Then jack walked in. Two steps. Dead.

The yassen. Dead

Sayle. Dead

Mr grin. Dead

Grief. Dead

The clones. Fifteen. Dead.

Mrs stellenbosche. Dead.

Sarov. Dead.

Conrad. Dead.

Cray. Dead.

Rothman. Dead.

Nile. Dead.

Drevin. Dead.

Major yu. Dead.

Ash. Dead.

McCain. Dead.

Razim. Dead.

They kept coming in and being shot dead. Piling one on top of the other. Forming a mountain of human bodies.

In came more people. People he didn't know.

He began to understand. All these people. His parents. His uncle. Jack. Yassen. The madmen. He was here because they died or they died because he was here. Here meaning the world of espionage.

He was screaming. Begging for whoever was doing this to stop. He screamed that he knew. He knew he was a murderer. He knew that he had killed. He knew already. But they wouldn't stop. They kept coming in.

He saw Julius grief walk in. The only man Alex had looked in the eye and shot. He waited for him to die like the other but he didn't. Julius walked up to Alex and handed Alex a gun. He understood. Julius was forcing Alex to do it again. But he wouldn't. He couldn't. Julius Untied Alex's hand and forced the gun into them.

"No" he said. " I won't do it. I won't shoot you".

"Julius smirked.

"You will. Because you want to. You are a murderer. An assassin. You will do it. And you will enjoy it."

"Alex felt his hand rise and fire the shot.

"No" he screamed as he watch the life leave julius.

"For heavens sake, wake up cub".

Wolf woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of talking. His thoughts went along the lines of 'who the hell was talking. If it's eagle I swear I am going to kill him' wolf got up, ready to beat the crap out of anybody who woke him up when he realised
that the talking was coming from cub. But it wasn't really talking, more like the whisper you here when somebody is sleep talking.
Curious, wolf walked up to Cubs bunk to hear what was said.
"Mum" came a whisper.
For all the expressions that cub hides during the day, at night he is like an open book.
Wolf watched Cubs expressions change from confused, to comfort. The young innocence that showed on Cubs face made wolf truly wonder how old cub was.
Before wolf could dwell on that line of thought, he saw Cubs expression shift to one of surprise? Horror?
Cub then started silently screaming. The sound was barely audible, but it was horrifying. It was worse than normal screaming. It seemed muted. Tortured.
Cub then stared pleading. Begging. Calling out stop. Begging someone to stop. He began crying. Tears running down his cheeks. It was torture just to watch. Cub carried on begging but it came to an abrupt stop.
Wolf thought it was over and began to turn around when he heard it.
"I won't shoot you"
Wolf being a soldier, turned around to find cub looking horrified.
He then stared screaming "no"
No longer in a whisper, but a shout. Eagle and snake jumped up, ready for action.
Wolf signalled for them to come over. They came over and heard the shouts of "no" coming from cub.
Wolf had enough. He had never seen such pain on an adult, let alone a child.
He didn't want to startle the kid and risk his life like last time so he decided to shout to wake him up

"For heavens sakes cub, wake up!"
Cub woke up and sat up with a gasp. It took a moment for him to realise where he was and what was happening and when he did, he brought his knees up to his chest and wrapped his hands around them, attempting to hide himself.

When cub woke up, he was thankful beyond belief towards wolf. He knew he wouldn't have been able to wake himself. That had been the worst dream by far. His wall had been punctured but he couldn't summon enough energy and will power to repair it at the
moment. He couldn't shield himself from k unit. Couldn't bring up the blank mask of indifference. He just let them stare. Let them glimpse some of the person underneath the masks.
Whoever that person was.

K unit stared at their youngest member. For once he didn't have the horrible mask of indifference, but what they saw was way worse. Beyond the first mask of happiness and the next of indifference and blank. Underneath all that was...
Nothing. The boy infront of them was by all means of the word empty. Hollow.

Kunit stared at their team mate. They've seen war veterans but never had they encountered one like this. A kid.
"Cub are you ok?" Eagles quiet voice pounded in the eerie silence. It was a stupid question, but it was a necessary one.

"I'm great. Just great. Fine and dandy." Came the sarcastic reply which held no humour.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Snake asked.
Alex shifted his gaze to snake and snake felt Cubs eyes pierce into his own. He felt like he was being examined. X-rayed. He finally understood what Harry Potter felt like when sitting in front of Dumbledore.

After 5 seconds Alex replied with a short cut "no" then got up and walked out of the hut.
They didn't stop him.

Alex walked out of the hut wanted to get away from their curiosity. He needed a moment to compose himself . To gain back some of the sanity.
They didn't care about him. The only asked because they wanted to satisfy their curiosity. Nobody cared about him. Nobody. Because all those that do- no did- are dead because of scorpia. Whether direct or not.
First his parents.
Then his godfather.
Then his uncle.
Then yassen.
Then jack.
Every single person who had cared about him was dead. He had no one. It was better that way now. Because scorpia can no longer take anybody away from him. The irony in that statement almost made Alex laugh. Almost. Scorpia told him not to form any connections
because in this world connections only get the ones you loved killed and you. Wasn't that what happens with yassen. Died because he refused to kill Alex. Wasn't that what happened to jack. If Jack didn't know Alex then she would be alive and breathing.
Alex wouldn't let that happen to anyone else. Nobody else would die because of him. He wouldn't let anybody care about him. He will push them all away. Keep them safe.
Alex felt his eyes burning and scolded himself. He will not cry. He will not give anybody the satisfaction of seeing him cry. He will not let anyone know that he is breaking.
Alex steeled himself. He searched into the deepest part of his fragmented soul to find some traces of sanity. He brought back the mask. The mask of cub. And now the mask of Alex. Just Alex.

When k unit saw cub walk in they were truly and utterly shocked. There were no traces of the person who had left. The person who can back was completely different. Apart from the eyes. The pitiless holes. The Windows to the soul.
Cub walked to his bunk and began to get ready. K unit followed his lead.

Out of the blue snake piped up in an attempt to break the silence. " we have shooting today cub. We were told that you will be joining us"
Alex tensed, just the slightest so nobody noticed but his heart rate was increasing rapidly at the reminder of his dream and went on the edge of a flashback.

Breakfast was short and uneventful and apart from the obvious tension between k-unit, nothing happened.

K-unit then set off to do the shooting exercise.

"Alright soldiers... And Child" began the instructor with a smirk on his face.
Alex glared at the man and k-unit moved protectively closer but nobody said anything. Alex frowned internally at this action. K-unit were never protective and they had no reason to be of him. He put it in the corner of his mind to think about it later.
"Today the exercises will be slightly harder than everyday. You will have 12 bullets and six moving targets. The aim is to get two bullets at the centre of each target.
Any questions"
Silence.
"Good. Now cub can you shoot?"
"yes" cub replied.
The instructor waited for him to elaborate but when he got no reply
"How well can you shoot?"
"Fairly" another vague answer revealing nothing.
The instructor was getting very annoyed but decided that the only way to find out is to see for himself.
"Ok cub. As you are the newest, you can go first."
Cub didn't reply but walked up to the gun.
As Alex walked up to the gun, he felt the wall that he so carefully built, begin to crumble.
His hand hovered over the gun.
The past and the present were threatening to intertwine I'm a series of flashbacks bringing back the worst of his memories. The ones were he has killed. Every second the flashbacks become harder to control and everyday they are getting worse.

He didn't see the common soldiers gun on the table. He saw the gun he aimed at Mrs Jones and the gun he aimed at Julius grief and the gun he trained with on malagasto.
He couldn't do this. He couldn't fire a single bullet. His wall would shatter and he would be right back in the beginning.
He couldn't do this.
"Come on cub sometime today would be good" mocked the instructor. "Is cub afraid of the gun?"

Alex steeled himself. He gathered every bit of strength and courage that he could muster and picked up the gun.

He was surprised by the how familiar the gun felt in his hand. How right it felt. Everything tuned out and his eyes glazed over as he remembered the beauty of this mechanism in his hand. The innocence of this gun that only does evil when it is forced
to by the wielder. Alex never thought of it this way but the gun was like him. The gun forced by the holder. Alex forced by the employers. He subconsciously began to run his hand over the gun, working out every mechanism that this gun has built this
work of art. This he remembered, is how an assassin feels.
"Ok cub" the instructor said hesitantly as he witnessed the dangerous way in which cub moved with the gun. "Reassemble the gun"
Alex did so without a moments hesitation, letting his instincts take over. He realised that this gun was very dirty and needed someone to clean it. He told himself to do it later.
He then walked up to the firing range and pointed the gun. Only it was no longer a gun but an extension of his arm. Just like scorpia taught him. He cleared his mind of all emotion and thought and focused on his targets. He then closed his eyes imagining
the targets and began shooting as soon as he opened his eyes.
Bullseye bullseye bullseye.
He felt the rush of having so much power, so much control.
But suddenly he remembered the moment when he was infront of julius grief and he couldn't stop the sudden emotional takeover . He was there again, the night that jack died and he was infront of gried holding the gun to his head.
And with the sound of Alex's gun hitting the final bullseye, the bullet entered julius' head once again.
Suddenly he heard footsteps and turned around to see Mrs stellenbosche, mr grin, Nile and Conrad running towards him. He got into the defensive stance, on the balls of his feet with centre of gravity low. He knew he couldn't defeat them all. He could
hardly hold his defends against one, but he had to try. He had to survive to go back home to jack.
He waited for them to get close enough and he attacked. He attacked using every bit of knowledge he had gained from karate, from his uncle, from his missions, from malagasto( though he could never deliver the killing blow) he dodged almost every hit and
he didn't feel the ones that landed because of the adrenaline rush. However they seemed to be holding back, non of them delivering a killing move even though they had plenty of opportunities. They seemed to want to grab and restrain him. No he wouldn't
let them capture him. He would rather die then go to whatever hellhole they have planned for him.
He hit one of then man in the temple and they were knocked unconscious. That made him falter. The blow was not strong enough to knock any of the assassins he was fighting.

Slowly, like a picture focusing, he began to remember where he was and realise who he was fighting: k-unit.

Wolf saw the way cub looked at the gun. It was with something like fear. No it was way worse than fear. Wolf didn't understand and wanted to stop cub but he picked up the gun.
When cub picked up the gun, there was a sudden change in his demeanour and he began to play around with the gun.
Cub would never admit it, but the way cub moved the gun was scary. It was dangerous. Not the he-can-accidentally-pull-the-trigger-child dangerous but the he-can-kill-you-assassin dangerous.
Cub then dissembled and reassembled the gun so fast that wolf was stunned. It was obvious this kid had some experience with shooting, but nothing would prepare him for what was to come.

When cub began shooting, it wasn't normal shooting but instinctive firing which was not taught in any legal government business. It was suspicious.
Cub shot every single bullet with exact precision without even looking. It was amazing for lack of a better word.

As snake watched, he noticed something change in cub. Cub tensed and his eyes glazed over. He finished shooting and k-unit rand up to him to get answers for how he could shoot like that.
But as they walked up to cub, he lashed out and began to fight. K-unit had no choice but to bring up the defends and fight back, but this was their first experience of Cubs full on fighting.
Snake saw the obvious signs of PTSD but that made no sense. He didn't know how old cub was, but he was definitely too old to shot signs of ptsd.
Snake had no time to think, cub was fighting all out and the unit were trying to either knock him out or restrain him but they had no chance. Cub was fighting like a professional-no he was a professional.

Suddenly eagle dropped to the ground unconscious and Cubs attacks subsided.

Cub looked at his unit with fear and started backing away, trying to escape. His eyes darted from side to side looking for a possible exit, before his eyes narrowed and he escaped out of a window.

Before wolf could ran after him, a hand slipped over his mouth.
He barely had time to recognise the smell of chlorine before he was knocked out.

Alex ran and ran until his legs couldn't keep going any longer.
His mind was racing trying to comprehend what was happening but he couldn't focus. His wall had completely shattered. Emotional pain that he kept locked up behind that wall for so long has just been let loose and it was agonising. The memories were strong
and every sound brought a flashback, every breath reminded him of his past. He didn't have the will power to stop them. He couldn't keep that wall up any longer. And because of that he couldn't go back and face k-unit. How could he explain what happened
and what will happen. How could he explain when he had no self control left. They would not even care to understand.
A voice piped up in his head. Small, quiet, shy.
'But they do care.'
'No they don't. They can care about me.' He told that voice in a shut up way
'Why not?' The voice argued.
'Nobody cares about me'
'They do'
'They can't'
'Why not?'
"Because everybody who cares about me is dead" he screamed out loud to the world.
Silence.
And then once again that voice in his head spoke.
'Not everybody'
'Who's left?' He questioned himself.
'You know who'
'Not him'
'He's alive and you know it'
'He is dead to me'
'No he is not. You care about him the Same way he cares about you'
'Oh yh? He cares about me by putting me in a bull fight'
'Stop finding excuses' the voice told him. 'Now get your butt of the ground and haul it of to the canteen before dinner is over. You can deal with k-unit later'
The voice that was so small was now controlling him and he found himself walking to the canteen.
He opened the door and froze in his tracks.
"Hello Alex. Nice of you to join us"