Dead Weight
By Celestialfae
Stage 2 Part 2: Emotional Decline
Hello to you people who so generously reviewed to this story. I am sorry I didn't update other chapters as I am still new to fanfiction and how to update chapters but thank goodness GestpenstKAF showed me how. He is a good friend to have outside and inside fanfiction. Well enjoy and make a shoutout for Ciel. Just to let you guys know it will go downhill for him as the chapters continue. This chapter will explain what led to Ciel the way he is now.
Also I have noticed some of you are displeased by the way I have portrayed Sebastian in this. Of course, I am following the mang/anime somewhat. His duty is mainly for the sake of the contract and makes it clear he is making no emotional attachment to Ciel. But never fret this is not a Sebastian-basher. I just love him so much D.
Warnings: some language, botching of the English language, thoughts of poor body image, bad language.
Ciel was just finishing up the rest of his documents. It was merely to pass the time. It helped him ward off the events of yesterday. Sebastian had not helped in the slightest. Although at first the party had gone off to a great start, it took a turn for the worst in his opinion.
Flashback…
Ciel felt like a deer in the headlights. His own butler had just jabbed at his "weight-gain". His aunt and Elizabeth stared at him. Frances studied him as it was a custom for her to do. Putting a hand to her chin and "hmming" she looked at Ciel up and down. Finally she spoke.
"(1) Great Scott, you're right Mr. Michaelis, this boy certainly has put on a few pounds. Any more he wont be able to fit into his own fathers tuxedo come the wedding day" she exclaimed. Ciel stared at her. You bitch. Elizabeth put a hand over her mouth shocked at her mother's crass outburst.
"Mother, shouldn't we be glad that Ciel is eating and not half-starved like when we found him?". Ciel smiled.
Good old Elizabeth, always needing to be prim and proper even when in most inappropriate times. As grateful as he was to Elizabeth, it was against his manly pride to have a woman defend his honor. Before he could respond to his aunt's comment, a loud ding was heard across the ballroom. Everyone turned to the source. Standing at the front podium where the musicians sat, sat the guest of honors, Grimsby Keane and Irene Diaz. Grimsby Keane stood at the front holding a champagne bottle. That ding was the clanging of a spoon against the glass. Irene Diaz stood next to him holding his arm. She looked as lovely as ever. She was dressed in green-colored chiffon dress that hung off the shoulder and a gold sash around her arms. Her golden hair up with a few strands hanging elegantly against the frame of her face. Finally Grimsby spoke.
"Attention everyone, may I have your attention please?" he asked motioning the crowd. I would like to thank you all for attending this gala. But I did not bring you all here just to drink champagne or flirt with all the pretty ones". This earned a laugh from some who were not so haughty or thought it below them to do such "lowly" things. A moment of silence between fell over the crowd. Then he smiled and took the lady's hand. "I am here to announce that several months from now, Irene and I are to be wed". A large chorus of applause echoed throughout the room with a few wolf whistles. As soon as it started it all went back to mingling with one another.
Ciel clapped too of course. He was very happy for the new couple. Ciel simply sat at one of the tables situated near the door. (2) He was sipping some strawberry cordial when a gruff cough was heard from behind him. He turned around to call off the blaggard who dared disturb his peace. Much to his dismay Edward took the seat next to him. He had a smug look on his face.
"What do you want you reputable bastard?" the 12 year old retorted not really feeling the mood to deal with his insufferable cousin. The young man across him picked up his champagne bottle offered to him by some butlers and drank from it.
Having fun aren't we young earl? Edward piped up.
What do you want? Asked Ciel. Edward smirked. "I was just walking around then I heard something that can do a major blow to your pretty little reputation. Ciel raised his finely arched eyebrow at his cousin.
"Seems as though everyone in this place has noticed you gained some pounds and no I am not talking about money, my little one", he replied haughtily.
If Ciel had been drinking just now, it would have sputtered all over the table. But unfortunately for him that did not seem to be the case.
"What" he whispered.
"Apparently my mother doesn't keep quiet about certain things you included", Edward remarked nonchalantly.
How dare she? The nerve of that woman, I don't care if she is family if I ever see her again, I will tell her off a thing or to. Telling his headstrong overbearing aunt was all he could do as it was improper for an English nobleman to strike a woman regardless of their caste. Remembering his quarry he hung his head his bangs covering his face.
"Get out of my sight, Ciel gritted out in a warning matter.
Edward quirked an eyebrow. "I SAID GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!" Ciel suddenly screamed with a manic look on his face. Everyone turned to where the source of the disturbance was. His bastard cousin smirked again then shrugged his shoulders.
"Alright, I'll go then. So long Cousin, I do enjoy these chats of ours, if none at all", he replied sarcastically and gave an antagonistic wave.
Ciel's body shook. "Im getting some air, then proceeded to the balcony outside. As he walked he heard the whispers of his aristocratic peers. All around him he could feel eyes and hear critical whispers on him. (3) Not wanting to face the people in the room he ran for the balcony covering his ears and closing his eyes blindly running.
"My goodness imagine the earl Phantomhive being pudgy!, exclaimed one woman. Not fitting for one going to inherit his families company one day".
Hmph!Eating all those sweets can do that to you. Disgraceful, scoffed one man.
"Poor Girl being married to a chubby Cyclops (Don't kill me for thrashing poor Ciels confidence. This is just part of the story); replied a teenage girl pityingly as she mourned for Elizabeth having to marry that "thing".
"Really like he wasn't spoiled enough", grimaced another man.
It wall too much for Ciel to handle. He then opened his eyes without realizing he was outside on the balcony. Breathing heavily, he dropped to his knees when he noticed a tear fall on his pants. Putting a hand to his face he realized he was crying. His first thought was to suck it up and come back inside, but remembered the point of him coming out here was to escape the scrutiny. He sniffled remembering all those petty remarks. Throwing all pride to the wind he brought his knees under his chin and cried in his arms, something he had rarely done since escaping that place.
"I know I promised I wouldn't cry in front of anyone ever again, but having someone tell you your imperfections to your face hurts", he sniffled. First Sebastian, then his aunt, then Edward, then all of London. Oh his father would be disappointed in him if he were to see right now crying over something so trivial."Next Elizabeth is gonna start moaning about I need to eat less fattening products", he spat bitterly. He then stood up and wiped his tears away. He hung his head back and allowed himself to enjoy this one ounce of stars above looked beautiful tonight.
Suddenly a shadow appeared before him. He stopped looking at above and stared at the person walking. It was his butler. He did not look particularly happy, in fact he looked miffed.
"Bocchan, what happened in there? You yelled at young master Edward then you acted in an ungraceful manner by plowing through hundreds of people then nearly ran over an elderly woman by pushing her, then if that weren't enough you nearly broke the glass balcony doors by slamming them" Sebastian remarked as he stared at the young earl with a calculating look.
Ciel sighed. He expected he would face some scolding sooner or later. "Putting that aside, I think I am ready to leave now. I am quite tired and have some very important documents to fill out, Ciel replied with a dismissive wave. Sebastian stared at him shocked his young masters dismissivness at the recent incidents. He resisted the urge to take that child by the ear and give him a very nasty scolding.
"Alright, but no sweets for you tonight, I had enough trouble getting you into your dress robes tonight and keeping you from acting up. The cake I served you yesterday must have been the "problem". Well let us depart then and do try not to knock anyone else over. Surely you have not become portly or mentally slow as well", he said in a honeysweet-cyanide type way. Ciel's impassive face dropped into a shocked, hurt one. The comments from his peers seemed like cold water in the face compared to Sebastian's words that felt like a knife in the heart.
Flashback ends
Ciel shook in anger at the memory. He couldn't even write down anything properly without the risk of spilling ink. Last night he had arrived back at the manor and rushed into the house up to his room. He was so hurt and angry by what Sebastian said. It was by the far the worst party he attended since Alastor Chambers kidnapped him when he was in his female costume. The servants did not dare approach him for fear of getting blown up at. When they asked what the matter was, Sebastian simply shrugged and told them to finish their chores. (Figure it out Sebastian, you stupid bastard ). Ciel growled then threw the pen at the floor.
"Gah! That demon, talking about me in a (4) devil-may-care attitude while brutalizing me in front of my aunt and Elizabeth like I-I-I wasn't even there, he sadly quivered. He walked over to the long person- length mirror (wow sure are lots of mirrors in this place), and stared at his reflection once again.
"It's bad enough my own butler criticizes me but now every higher up in London society is thinking I am a fat slob. He scoffed.
" I guess even now Elizabeth is going to start lecturing me on sweets and how I should cut back, do some productive exercises, eat less and…"
(Ding! Cue candle above Ciel's heads since lightbulbs are in short demand during this time).
"That is it. (5) I will become thin again so no one can call me repulsive in the eyes of The Ton."
Looking in the mirror again he thought "easier said than done". Like all plans, there are drawbacks, aren't they?
Damn some people don't know when to shut up do they? Not you guys but the aristocrats, Edward especially. Anyways, so there you have it. Ciel's resolve but will it work? Sebastian is so cold to him. That is how it usually starts, poor body-image then the decline of confidence. This is an issue that affects me as well because it happens to a lot of girls and boys too. Some are even desperate enough to look what people define as beautiful that they will starve themselves.
(1)I often hear British people saying this to the alternative. I am sorry if offend some people by botching up the English language.
(2)Gotta love Redwall! One of my favorite children's series. In the Redwall Series: Mattimeo, Mattimeo and his friends drink strawberry cordial which is a type of wine or fruits juice I think.
(3)Have you ever watched anime shows where the character covers his ears and eyes as he/she blindly runs without bumping into anything?
(4)Devil-May-Care: carefree manner of speaking, contempt. Sebastian is talking about Ciel gaining weight like its of no real importance.
(5)The Ton is used to define the upper society of London society.
Next Chapter: Ciel's ordeal has only just begun. See just how far he is willing to go for physical perfection?