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The day after the visit to Emily and Richard's Logan took Rory to the place where he had bought this car and showed the one he had chosen. Rory had to admit she liked it. It was similar to her old one, silver and slim, yet she still hesitated as she looked at it, running her hand across the metal.
"What?" Logan asked. "Don't you like it?"
"I do," Rory said truthfully. She did like it, a lot, but what stung was that she hadn't been the one to choose it, find her perfect car. She almost wanted to reject it and search for herself but it seemed petty, when she liked this one so much, and she added gratefully,
"I love it."
"See," Logan said smugly, indicating to the salesman that they wanted to buy it. "Can I read you or what?"
Rory nodded and rode home in silence, wondering why she still felt disappointed.
On Thursday the rest of Rory and Logan's things arrived. They crowded the hall with boxes and on Friday they were able to move. They drove back and forth several times, with the aid of Lorelai, and overall it was not as painful as they had anticipated. They were done by early afternoon yet Logan still groaned and sank down on the couch with a beer, closing his eyes. Lorelai coughed.
"I might head off," she said to her daughter. "If you guys don't need any help."
"We're good," Rory nodded but, as her mother reached the door, she caught her up and said,
"Do you mind if I make one last trip? I think I left my purse behind."
Lorelai looked at her curiously and said,
"Sure, hon."
Rory didn't need the purse urgently and her mother could have returned it easily but she wanted to go home one last time. Lorelai seemed to understand and, when they got back, she made them a cup of coffee each. They sat in the kitchen, drinking in silence, and Rory said,
"Thanks for letting us live here, Mom."
"Rory, it was nothing," Lorelai said, sounding surprised. "It was more a gift for me, having my kid at home again, even if just for a week. I wish you could've stayed longer."
"Yeah," Rory said quietly. "Me too."
Her eyes were filming over and she stared down at her cup. Paul Anka came and rested his head on her knee, looking at her gently. Rory rubbed his head and blinked back sudden tears.
"Rory?" Lorelai asked, bending to read her eyes. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," Rory sniffled. "I'm fine."
"You don't sound fine," Lorelai said in concern, moving her chair nearer to her. "What is it? Tell me."
Rory looked down at Paul Anka's fur. She hesitated, the words tripping on her tongue, about feeling sad without knowing why, that she felt useless and Logan wanting a baby but she forced them back. She felt that if she started talking she would never stop and she didn't want to overload her mother with marital problems, if that was what they were. She didn't want Lorelai to worry and stress over what was surely a small blip so instead she shook her head and said,
"I guess it's just hard leaving here again."
"Rory," Lorelai said gently, squeezing her daughter's hand. "It's hard for me too."
Rory nodded, unable to speak as her mother added,
"But hey, it's not like before. You're going to be half an hour away, that's nothing. It's not exactly three thousand miles, is it?"
"No," Rory choked and Lorelai smiled.
"We're going to see each other all the time. Logan won't monopolise you all the time, I'm going to demand some movie nights and sleepovers."
Rory laughed and Lorelai smiled, hugging her tight.
"And it's an awesome apartment," she said enviously. "Don't think I won't be kicking Logan out and staying over sometimes."
"I wouldn't expect anything less."
They hugged, Rory burying her face in her mother's shoulder. They sat like that for a while until Paul Anka let out a loud woof!,making them jump. Lorelai looked at the clock and groaned.
"How is it that time already? I have to get back to the inn."
"And I have to get back to my husband," Rory grinned. "Thanks, Mom."
"Anytime, kid."
Rory drove back, feeling a little lighter than before, and was smiling by the time she entered the apartment. Logan was reading a newspaper and looked up at her and frowned.
"Where's your purse?"
Rory looked down and blushed. She had forgotten it.
They woke up late the next day. Logan made them breakfast in bed, French toast with eggs and Rory lay back in the pillows feeling contented. It was the best way to start the day and she kissed Logan's cheek after finishing her coffee. He absently kissed her back and then slid out of bed, stretching, and going to the closet where he had unpacked some of his clothes.
"Hey," Rory laughed. "Where are you going?"
"Got a business meeting," Logan said, selecting a tie. "Got to be in the city for eleven."
"But it's Saturday," Rory pleaded, disappointment beginning to seep through her. "It's our first morning here, I thought..."
"Sorry, Ace. No can do."
"It's our first morning," Rory repeated dumbly. He walked over and kissed the top of her head.
"I know it sucks. I don't want to go but being head of the department means losing weekends sometimes."
"That does suck," Rory said gloomily. He laughed and patted the top of her head, giving her the irritable sensation of feeling like a dog.
"Who would have thought?" Logan chuckled. "The party-crazy Logan Huntzburger getting up to go to meetings on a Saturday?"
"Yeah," Rory said, trying to smile. "Who would have thought?"
Logan grinned and went to use the shower. Rory sighed, getting up and putting the tray away, washing the dishes and crawling back into bed with a novel she had unpacked. It was Portrait of a Lady, one of her favourites, but she was finding it hard to read this time.
Logan came back in completely naked, his towel in his hand. Rory watched him dress, pulling a face in the mirror as he adjusted his tie, before picking up his briefcase and tying his shoes.
"Good luck," Rory said in a small voice. He kissed her cheek again.
"I'll be back soon enough," he said vaguely. "Look on the bright side – you've got the whole place to yourself."
"Yeah," Rory said dully. "Great."
He laughed and left, whistling all the way down the stairs. Rory sighed and got out of bed again, going to the window and looking out.
The building was a brownstone which had been converted into flats and they had the second floor. Lorelai was right, it really was a beautiful apartment, light and airy with a wonderful city view but now she was alone it felt too big with too much space. Rory had looked forward to a long, lazy morning with perhaps a trip to Stars Hollow and now she was alone with a novel she couldn't read. She didn't understand why Logan hadn't said anything the night before and, unhappily, she sat on the sofa and picked up the paper to scan the news.
After reading the main headlines Rory set the paper down, heart thumping. Her morning was ruined but the whole day wasn't. Jess was back today and Rory ran to get dressed, wondering how she could have forgotten.
She showered hastily, wiping suds across her body and wondered what to wear. She didn't want to wear what Logan had called their wealthy clothes, which seemed to make up most of her wardrobe. Rory wrapped a towel around her and padded back out, staring at the selection before settling on a dark blue shirt. She had owned it for years, before she had got married, and it made her smile. It had been a long time since she'd worn it and, as she pulled it on with a pair of black pants, she thought she had a glimpse of the Rory she was before marriage.
Rory brushed her hair, put on a little mascara and grabbed her car keys, hesitating before writing a quick note –Gone to Stars Hollow – and leaving the apartment, her heart lit up. The day felt fresh and new again and impatiently she started the car and drove back down the main road to where she hoped her ex-boyfriend would be.
Rory hit some traffic just before Stars Hollow and banged her hands against the wheel.
"Come on," she grumbled. "Move!"
The traffic eventually shifted. Rory sighed in impatient relief and drove back into her home town, parking at the first spot she found. It was stupid, she thought suddenly, she didn't know what time Jess would even be back. He may not have returned at all but, she decided, even if he wasn't, she would get coffee and wait. She could enjoy her day in Stars Hollow all the same.
Rory hurried along the friendly streets hoping, for once, that she wouldn't run into anyone she knew, not even her mother. Her heart thudded as she approached the diner, a giddy excitement overtaking her. She felt breathless as she put her hand on the door, her whole body shaking, and she wondered what she would say if he was inside. There was the back of a man behind the counter, long and slim, a back she knew well, and Rory almost succumbed to a sudden wish to turn and run but she resisted. She pushed open the door.
The man turned around at the sound of the bell. He looked at Rory casually for a moment and then stopped, stared and opened his mouth. Rory felt frozen to the spot. Jess.
"Rory?" he asked in disbelief, instantly leaving the counter and walking to her, staring at her as though she was a mirage. "What are you doing here?"
"Moved back," Rory said simply and then his arms were around her, hugging her with a gentle strength. She hugged him back, enjoying the oddness of it, and held on, bizarrely worried that he would disappear if she let go.
"You moved back?" Jess asked, finally releasing her and staring. "Here to Stars Hollow?"
"No – to Hartford," Rory corrected. "Logan's been relocated to head the Connecticut division of the company he works for."
The joyful expression on Jess's face dimmed slightly.
"Oh," he nodded. "Right."
"Right," Rory echoed. The atmosphere felt awkward suddenly and Jess coughed.
"Sorry for, you know, hugging you like that. It's not something I normally go for."
"No," Rory agreed, remembering how he hadn't held her that way since they were eighteen. "I didn't mind though."
"Good," Jess smiled. "I'm sorry if I was...acting forward or something."
"Jess, don't worry about it."
He nodded and they grinned at each other. She took him in: he wore black pants and a smart jacket but the T-shirt was casual like before, showing he was still Jess. He looked wonderful.
"You know, Luke didn't say a word about you coming home," Jess said suddenly, putting his hands in his pockets. "I'm going to kill him."
"Where is he?"
"Buying produce. I'll kill him when he's back."
They laughed and Jess glanced at Rory's ring.
"So where's the husband?" he asked, imitating his uncle. "Parking the car or something?"
"No, he had to work," Rory said, wondering why her cheeks were turning pink. "I came here alone."
"On a Saturday?" Jess echoed incredulously. Rory shrugged and his face broke into a smile again. "Still, I'm not complaining. How about some breakfast?"
"I've already had some but I'll have another."
"You haven't changed," Jess remarked. A spurt of happiness shot through Rory and she led him to a table.
"How about something from the Rory menu?"
"The what?"
"Luke made me a special menu," Rory giggled. "In honour of my coming home."
"Why am I not surprised?" Jess said, showing his crooked grin. "Cesar? The finest food on the Rory menu please, on me."
"Oh, Jess, I can –"
"My treat," he insisted, staring into her eyes. "Please."
Cesar brought over some coffee and for a while they sat and laughed, sharing stories from the past few years.
"So how's the Truncheon going?" Rory asked. "Luke said you were here because of work?"
"Yeah – we're thinking of expanding, maybe to New York," Jess said. "I kind of hate that – it's like a chain – but we're still independent, right?"
"Right," Rory agreed. "I think it's great. I loved your open house."
Jess nodded and they fell silent, the memory of their last meeting hanging between them. Rory bit her lip.
"Jess, I'm sorry."
"It's okay."
"No, it's not, it was a really, really crappy thing for me to do," Rory said fiercely. "I was a jerk."
"It sounds like you were having a crappy time," Jess said. Rory looked up to see if he was annoyed but he smiled and said, "It's okay, Rory. I forgave you a long time ago."
Rory exhaled and he rested his hand on hers for the briefest of moments, his palm warm.
"It was for the best," he added. "That you changed your mind. You're married now."
"Yeah," Rory said, unhappiness stabbing, suddenly. "I'm married."
"Have you forgiven me?" Jess asked suddenly and Rory looked up. "For leaving, both those times?"
"Jess," Rory said gently. "You were young."
Cesar brought their food over and dented the line of thought. They thanked him, began to eat and then Rory looked up.
"I wanted to invite you to the wedding," she said truthfully. "I'm sorry I didn't."
Jess didn't look up.
"It's okay."
"I really did," Rory insisted. "But Logan thought it might be weird and I didn't want things to be uncomfortable for you..."
Her voice trailed off and she said quietly,
"I'm sorry."
"It's really okay," Jess promised. "Luke showed me pictures of the wedding. It looked like a perfect day."
"He did?"
Rory's wedding had not been how she had planned. She had never been a little girl who had dreamed endlessly about her wedding day but she had always known three things: she would wear her hair down, wear a simple dress and her mother would walk her down the aisle. Only one of these things came to pass. Rory was talked into wearing her hair up, in a fancy bun, with a long, expensive white dress, her nails shining with pearled nail polish. Lane, Honor and Paris were her bridesmaids. She had hoped to get married in Stars Hollow but instead they married in Hartford, in Logan's family church and, when she said she would rather marry at home Logan said, "You're not even religious. Why do you care which church you get married in?"
It wasn't as if Logan was religious either. Rory was ready to say it was the church she had grown up in, in a way, going there with Lane for the occasional service and helping her take notes, that that mattered more to her than what she actually believed, but Logan cut her off with a laugh.
"If we're really going by tradition," he smirked. "You shouldn't be wearing a white dress."
Rory stormed away and Logan ran after her, puzzled that she couldn't understand it was just a joke.
In the end the only unconventional element was Lorelai being the one to give Rory away. She didn't even think about asking Christopher, briefly considered Luke but knew in her heart it had to be her mother. Lorelai was the person who had raised her, been her mother and best friend her whole life and both of them were crying before it was time to walk.
"Mom, I'm scared," Rory admitted, wiping her eyes with her bouquet of flowers. "I can't be old enough to be a wife."
"I love you so much, kid," Lorelai whispered, eyes streaming. "And if you want to change your mind, right now, we can. I'll send everyone home."
Rory stared at her and shook her head.
"I'm just nervous," she said, making herself smile. "I'm happy, Mom, I'm marrying Logan."
Lorelai looked at her piercingly. Rory thought if she looked at her any longer she might burst out something else but instead her mother smiled and took her hand.
"In that case," she said bravely. "Let's go, your husband awaits."
Rory nodded, clenched her hand and, as she walked down to the alter, she knew she couldn't do it without her mother by her side.
"You looked beautiful," Jess said, making her jump. "I never pictured you in a dress like that."
The memories fell away and Rory smiled ruefully.
"No," she said. "Nor did I."
Jess nodded and ate the last of his food.
"So tell me," Rory said quickly. "Are you writing anything new?"
"Actually, yes," Jess said, putting his fork down from his pancakes. "I'm writing a novel, a long work in progress. I hate it when writers say that, it's like code for not doing anything, but –"
"I know it isn't," Rory smiled. "I can't wait to read it. I read your first book the other day again."
Jess looked at her curiously.
"You did? Did it seem different this time round?"
"Maybe a little," Rory told him, feeling her cheeks warm again. "In a good way."
"Good," Jess said softly. "That's what I want."
Rory smiled but before she could say anything else there was an exclamation of her name. They looked up to see Luke, who was beaming and saying,
"I didn't know you were coming down today."
"I was going to see Jess," Rory explained. The man in question slapped Luke's arm.
"Didn't tell me she was coming, Uncle Luke," he said, pretending to be angry. "When I asked if anything was new here, what did you say? Not much!"
"It was a surprise," Luke grinned. "And it's just Luke."
"I guess I forgive you," Jess said, getting out his wallet to pay, but Luke waved his hand.
"On me."
"But –"
"Just eat," Luke grinned. He patted his nephew's arm and walked away.
"Well," Jess said, putting his wallet away. "Guess it's on him."
"Yep."
"How long are you here for?" Jess asked, hope in his voice. "Is it...permanent?"
"Six months," Rory told him and he nodded. "It might become permanent though."
"I guess we'll be seeing a lot of each other," Jess said. Rory grinned.
"Guess so."
Jess scribbled down his cellphone number and Rory laughed.
"Look who cracked!"
"Hey, it wasn't my idea," Jess said quickly, going red. "I'm practically running a business, people are always calling...it's not like the old days where you could just keep a phone in the store."
"Oh, of course not," Rory teased. He pointed a finger at her.
"I am not a sell-out."
"Of course you're not," Rory grinned. She bent down at the napkin she had prepared to write her number on and hesitated.
"What?"
"Nothing," Rory said quickly, borrowing Jess's pen to write her number down. "There."
"Thanks," Jess said, folding and putting it in his pocket. "What are you doing now?"
"Oh...I'm not sure. I need to pick my purse up from Mom and then I guess I'll head back. Logan should be home soon."
Jess nodded, his face impassive, but he grinned again as Rory got up.
"See you around, Rory."
"See you, Jess," Rory replied. She was still grinning when she reached her front door.
Lorelai wasn't home but the key was still in the turtle. Rory made herself a pot of coffee and drank contentedly with Paul Anka, watching TV. The front door suddenly opened and Rory and Lorelai screamed in unison when they saw each other.
"Jesus, Rory," Lorelai said, hand on her heart. "You could have warned me."
"I figured you'd be home. Where were you?"
"I had to go pick up dry-cleaning," Lorelai said, indicating the bags in her hand. "What are you doing here?"
"I forgot my purse. Logan had to go into the office."
Lorelai nodded and Rory went to pick it up.
"I went to Luke's for breakfast," she said casually. "Jess was there."
Lorelai stopped and stared.
"Just drop that in there! What's he doing here? What, are all the lost kids of Stars Hollow coming home?"
"It's to do with his work," Rory said happily. "It was good catching up."
Lorelai looked at her curiously and then said,
"You had breakfast together?"
"Yeah," Rory said, confused. "It was nice."
Lorelai nodded. Rory caught sight of the clock and got up.
"I've got to go – Logan should be back now. Sorry for scaring you."
Her mother kissed her goodbye and then asked,
"Logan's got to work today?"
"Yeah – some kind of meeting."
"That sucks," Lorelai said, letting go of her daughter's hands. "Poor guy."
"Right," Rory said quietly. "Poor guy."
Her mother looked at her curiously.
"I like that shirt, Rory. I didn't know you still had it.
"Really?" Rory asked, looking down. "I like it - why would I get rid of it?"
"You haven't worn it in forever - whenever I've seen you lately you've worn something fancy."
"I still like it," Rory said, her heart throbbing. Lorelai nodded and she said quickly,
"Mom, I've got to get back. Logan will be home soon."
"Sure," Lorelai nodded. "Give him my love."
Rory felt her mother's eyes on her all the way to the door.
Logan was home when Rory got back and he wasn't happy. He had changed into sweatpants and a T-shirt, lying on the couch with the television blaring and he scowled at Rory when she got in, holding her note up.
"So much for this being our morning!"
"You had to go to work!" Rory exclaimed. "You didn't tell me what time you'd be back! What was I supposed to do, sit around all day?"
"I finished early."
"How was I supposed to know that?"
Logan switched the television off and got up.
"I was looking forward to getting home," he said angrily. "I was going to take you out for lunch."
"Oh," Rory said guiltily. "I'm sorry, Logan – look, it's not that late, we can still go."
"Forget it."
Rory followed him into the bedroom where he had stormed into and took his arm.
"Logan, I'm sorry. I didn't know."
"I texted you!"
"I didn't have my phone."
"What were you doing, anyway?" Logan demanded, seeing the bag in her hand. "Did it take you that long to get your purse back?"
"No," Rory blushed. "I went to Luke's – Jess was there. We had breakfast."
"You what?"
"He was in town!" Rory said as Logan shook his head. "We're friends."
"Oh, please, Rory."
"Why are you mad at me?" Rory asked, her voice shaking. "Nothing happened. Why would I tell you if there had? I'm being honest."
Logan scowled and sat down on the bed. Rory sat next to him.
"He's someone who meant a lot to me," she said gently. "It wasn't planned. I'm really sorry, Logan. I figured you'd be gone all day."
Her husband let out a sigh.
"I made you breakfast," he said sadly and Rory felt a horrible tug of guilt.
"It wasn't planned," she said again. "And you know me – I eat double a normal person!"
Logan smiled unwillingly and Rory kissed his cheek. She kissed it again, moved onto his mouth and kissed him fully. Logan turned to face her, kissing her back and lifted her shirt off. Rory didn't protest, nor when he slid off her bra and she peeled his shirt off too, rubbing her hands across his chest. Logan groaned and kissed her breasts, helping off her pants and underwear as she pulled off his before lying back on the bed as Rory knelt and took his penis in her mouth. She sucked at it for while, feeling him grow more excited before straddling him and pushing him inside her. Logan thrust and thrust and came with a groan. Rory kept on moving and then, suddenly, Jess's face and smile were in her mind and she came with a shudder. She lay down on Logan's chest and he buried his face in her breasts.
"Now that," he said with a muffled laugh. "Was worth waiting for. Thanks."
Rory slid off him. She walked in silence to the shower, washing herself over and over and wondering, as the hot water poured over her, why she felt so terribly unclean.