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Rory carefully opened the door. She'd slid in the key as gently as she could but, being an old lock and never very smooth, she couldn't help making some noise. Rory winced, hoping it wouldn't wake her mother, but the house seemed still as she went into the hall.
She groped for the light and, just as she turned it on, she heard footsteps and looked up to see her mother creeping down the stairs, brandishing a cushion in front of her. She dropped it as she saw her daughter and exclaimed,
"Jesus, Rory!"
"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," Rory said guiltily and, noticing the cushion added, "Going to attack the burglar with feathers?"
"Hilarious!" Lorelai snapped, hurrying down the last few steps. "Rory, what are you doing here? It's the middle of the night!"
"Can I stay here tonight?"
"Yes, of course, but – Rory, what's going on?"
Rory looked down and her mother took her hands, bending to look at her face.
"Where's Logan?" she asked. "What's wrong, what's happened?"
"We had a fight," Rory said and, though she thought she'd cried out all her tears, she heard her voice wobble. "I couldn't stay there tonight, I'm sorry."
Lorelai made a soothing sound and took her into her arms, stroking her hair.
"It's okay," she said gently, rubbing her hand across Rory's hair. "It's okay, sweetie."
Tears spilled out of Rory's eyes and she sobbed,
"I'm sorry, Mom. I'm sorry for coming here like this."
"There's nothing to be sorry about," Lorelai said firmly. "Go get changed and I'll make us some coffee – your bed's still made up."
Rory nodded and managed a watery smile. Her mother went into the kitchen and Rory went into her bedroom, finding another pair of flannel pyjamas in the drawer. She wasn't sure when she had last worn them but they felt soft and comforting and had a scent of lavender to them. She took off her dress and hung it up on a spare hanger and smiled ruefully – it looked odd hanging next to her Chilton uniform. She put on the pyjamas, tugged her robe on over the top, plus a pair of fluffy slippers, and padded out to the kitchen where her mother was brewing the coffee.
"Hey," Lorelai said as Rory sat at the table. Paul Anka woke up and came to join them, wagging his tail in a sleepy way. Rory absently patted his head, gld he was there.
"Hey," she returned quietly. Lorelai poured out the coffee and sat opposite.
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked, echoing Jess, and Rory shook her head.
"It was just a crappy, crappy fight," she said miserably. "And a crappy day."
"Didn't you go to his mom's tonight?" Lorelai asked and Rory grimaced and nodded. "Was that why it was crappy?" she guessed and Rory nodded again.
"She was being a cow...kept asking me if I was going to have kids soon."
"That's kind of personal! I mean, I know I ask you stuff like that but I'm allowed. Where did that come from?"
"Honor's pregnant," Rory told her. Lorelai smiled.
"Congratulations – you'll be an aunt."
"Oh yeah," Rory realised. "I hadn't thought of it like that."
"I always wanted to be an aunt," Lorelai mused. "Stupid Mom and Dad keeping me an only child."
"Yeah, being an only child sucks," Rory teased and Lorelai rolled her eyes.
"Oh, you love it. Besides, I didn't mind not getting to be an aunt because being your mom was ten times better!"
"Are you saying that just because I'm sad?" Rory asked and her mother looked at her curiously.
"Yes and no. Honey, what did you and Logan fight about? It had to be pretty bad for you to drive all the way out here."
Rory gripped the coffee mug in her hands.
"He took her side," she said hesitantly. "He didn't stick up for me when his mother was teasing about me not working and looking after him and I don't know, it just made me mad. He didn't apologise or listen to me, he said I was in the wrong for not being able to take a job and I don't know, I just had to get out of there."
"Yeah, I know that feeling," Lorelai said quietly and Rory took a deep breath.
"So I just got in the car and drove over here and saw Jess."
Lorelai had been drinking her coffee and put down the cup down with a splutter.
"You what?"
"I wanted to talk," Rory said uncomfortably, and looked away as Lorelai said, hurt,
"You can talk to me."
"I know," Rory said, daring to meet her mother's eyes again. "It wasn't like I was picking Jess over you, I just wanted to talk to him."
Her mother was silent and, for a moment, Rory wished she hadn't told her. She knew she would have felt worse not to, however, and she added tremulously,
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay," Lorelai said, trying to sound bright "No, it is – you don't have to come to me straightaway every time."
"But –"
"Rory," Lorelai said, smiling and putting Rory's heart at ease. "It's really okay."
"You still think it's weird," Rory said knowingly. "Don't you? What is it?"
Lorelai sighed.
"I don't know Rory, it's just...Jess? I'd understand going to Lane first, or Paris, but Jess?"
"He's a friend too."
"Rory, he's your ex-boyfriend, he broke your heart!" Lorelai exclaimed. "Isn't it kind of weird to talk to him about stuff like this?"
"Why?" Rory demanded, heart pounding. "We were friends first."
Lorelai nodded but they both knew she didn't agree. Rory drank the last of her coffee defiantly, staring deep into the cup.
"I think I'm going to go to bed," she said, putting it down on the table. "Thanks, Mom."
"Okay," Lorelai said, sounding a little surprised. "Sleep well, sweets."
"You too," Rory said, getting up and hugging her mother tightly. "Night."
Rory waited until her mother had gone upstairs before checking her phone. There were no calls or messages but she texted Logan all the same to let him know she was at Lorelai's before going too the bathroom and brushing her teeth with the toothbrush her mother had considerately bought her. She splashed cold water over and over her face and in her mouth but the taste of whiskey was still there as she went into her bedroom and crawled into bed. The room looked soft in the dim glow of the lamp and Rory closed her eyes gratefully as she switched it off, falling into a deep sleep as her head hit the pillow.
Sharp light assaulted her eyelids. Rory slowly opened them, wondering for a moment where she was and then why she was there and not in Hartford. She lay still and then remembered, sitting up and looking around the room. It was very early, just after six, and somehow it looked different to when she and Logan had stayed there a week before. Rory looked at the bright, cheerful walls, adorned with posters of all the places she had dreamed of going. She remembered buying the very first one when she was ten, tacking it up on the wall and wondering if she would ever make it out of the state. She had now been to almost every country on her list and, though travelling with Logan had been more luxurious, Rory still remembered backpacking through Europe as her best trip.
Rory swung her legs out of bed and drew back the curtains, casting the bright sheen of the morning across the room, the sunlight tickling her toes. She turned away from the window and looked back at her room. It felt good to have it to herself again, without waiting for Logan to come back. Rory stretched, feeling considerably more relaxed than she had in weeks, and looked at the books on her shelf. Her mother hadn't touched them and there were still secret layers of more across the room. They looked more welcoming than before.
Rory leaned up and took a book from the shelf; Franny and Zooey which she remembered discussing endlessly with Jess. It had been years since Rory had read it. She flicked through it, smiling at the notes in the margins, and took it back to bed. She opened it, began to read, and jumped two hours later when her mother looked round the door.
"I was seeing if you were awake," Lorelai said, going over and sitting beside her. "What's that you're reading?"
Rory showed the cover. Lorelai smiled.
"I remember you being obsessed with that book."
"I was not obsessed!"
"If the shoe fits," Lorelai teased, laughing at her daughter's pout. She patted Rory's leg and said,
"I'm going to make some coffee."
Rory nodded and put the book down. She grabbed a towel and went upstairs to shower, only realising that she didn't have a spare set of clothes when she came back down. A search through her drawers provided some faded jeans and sweatshirts. Rory felt a little embarrassed as she looked in the mirror, wearing the uniform of her teenage years. It was almost as though another Rory was looking back and hastily she folded the dress she had worn and put it in a paper bag, hoping it wouldn't crease. Then she went out into the hall and checked her phone. She had no messages yet didn't feel terribly hurt and, instead, she went into the kitchen where a wonderful aroma of coffee was filling the air.
Lorelai was tipping pancakes onto plates as her daughter came into the room.
"Sit, sit!" she insisted, gesturing with the spatula and, noticing the phone, "did Logan get back to you?"
Rory shook her head and Lorelai frowned.
"Well," she said brightly, "maybe he's nervous or couldn't get through."
"Maybe," Rory agreed, slipping the phone in her pocket. She remembered the times before anyone owned a cellphone and how much easier it was to lie to yourself if a phonecall never came through. She picked up a fork, dug into the food and rolled her eyes as her mother laughed.
"What?"
"Nothing, I just didn't know the casual look was back in."
"Hey, these clothes have never gone out of fashion," Rory said angrily. "I never wore stupid trends as a teenager, you can't mock me for jeans."
"No, but I can mock you for wearing a shirt that says Millennium Teen on the cuff," chortled Lorelai. Rory looked down, blushed and started to laugh. They were still giggling by the time they finished their pancakes.
"So, do you want to go to Luke's?" Lorelai asked, picking up the plates. Rory opened her mouth to agree but then she hastily shook her head.
"Why?" Lorelai demaded, crestfallen. "His pancakes are way better than mine, they come with strawberries!"
Rory had thought the same but suddenly remembered that Jess might be there and she felt embarrassed, suddenly, about drinking whiskey in his darkened apartment and telling him her problems. It had felt good at the time but after hearing her mother's confusion she felt a little awkward about it and wondered if she should have gone straight to Lorelai after all. It was a little odd, she knew, to go to her ex-boyfriend for advice about a marital fight and she knew she wouldn't enjoy breakfast with Jess in the room, painfully reminding her of the night before.
"I should get back," she said firmly. "Settle this thing with Logan."
To her surprise and relief Lorelai nodded.
"I understand. Drive safe and here, have another pancake for the road."
Rory nodded and as she began to eat she told her mother,
"I had a fight with Paris."
"You didn't tell me that last night."
"I know, I didn't want to think about it. She said..."
Rory's voice trailed off and Lorelai looked at her curiously.
"She said I'm not looking hard enough for a job," Rory said in a low voice. "That I'm unhappy."
She looked nervously at her mother, unsure of what she wanted her to say. Lorelai was silent for a full minute and eventually asked,
"Do you think there's truth in that?"
"I don't know," Rory said quietly. Lorelai sighed.
"You have seemed kind of down lately," she admitted. "But I thought it was the stress of the move, or..."
"It is," Rory said quickly. "Paris just caught me on a bad day."
Lorelai nodded despite looking unsure. Rory stood up.
"I'm going to hit the road."
Half an hour later Rory was back in Hartford. The roads had been clear and she could have been home quicker but she remembered her mother telling her she was going to be an aunt and made a stop at a baby store where she bought a pink teddy bear. She nearly chose one in green but was suddenly forcibly remembered of Sherry's baby shower and how green was the new pink, so chose a different colour.
Rory drove back to the apartment and started up the stairs, feeling horribly nervous. She hadn't felt anxious at all on the drive but wondered if her husband's silence was cause for concern and her hand shook as she took out the key and opened the door. She dropped them in surprise as she pushed it open and smiled. Logan was standing in the middle of the room with the largest bouquet of flowers she had ever seen and walked over to her, holding them out with a boyish smile.
"Logan, what -?"
"I'm sorry," Logan said, smiling sheepishly. "Forgive me?"
"I..of course, they're beautiful," Rory exclaimed, staring at the blooms. "We have to put them in water."
"Done," Logan said, taking them to a vase he had prepared on the table. "Are we okay?"
"Of course," Rory said as he turned back round. "I'm sorry I drove off like that."
"I'm sorry I yelled. I know Mom can be tough."
Rory nodded gratefully.
"I'm sorry I didn't text back," Logan said, putting his arms around her. "I was out buying those."
Rory opened her mouth, to try and explain the rest, but Logan was putting his mouth on hers and she relaxed into his kiss. She opened her mouth as he slid his tongue into hers but stopped, pushed him away and exclaimed,
"Logan, how much have you been drinking?"
"It was only last night, after you left," Logan protested. Rory caught sight of the empty liquor bottle on the table and asked,
"Didn't you brush your teeth?"
She knew she was in no place to judge, after the whiskey the night before, but suddenly saw the odd, bright look in her husband's eye and smelt the freshness of drink of his breath. She opened her mouth to ask further but Logan kissed her again, filling her mouth with the taste again, and said gently,
"We've just finished one fight, let's not start another."
Rory nodded and he added,
"It's hard for me too, settling in. I was thinking of throwing a housewarming party."
"Alright," Rory said doubtfully, her mind still on the bottle on the table and Logan noticed the teddy in her hand and laughed.
"Need that to sleep at night?"
"It's for Honor," Rory said defensively. "My first present as an aunt."
"She's not due for more than six months," Logan said dismissively and Rory snapped,
"Your mother's building up a regular collection already."
"Rory, I told you to relax about that," Logan said, tracing a finger over her collarbone. "Mom's not in charge of when we have kids."
Rory smiled but didn't relax. She knew her husband would prefer it to be sooner rather than later, hugged him and didn't say a word. He relinquished her and Rory went to hang up the dress, sighing with disappointment. It had creased all the same.
Logan took her to a fancy restaurant for breakfast. The food was incredibly expensive and delicious yet Rory thought, as she bit into her four egg omelette, that she would sooner have eaten at Luke's after all. When they returned Logan fell asleep on the sofa, snoring loudly, and Rory took the laptop into the bedroom. She searched for jobs in Connecticut, bookmarking some sites, and, though she felt frightened at the idea of actually applying to any, she felt that she had made a step by doing it.
The rest of the week was dull. Logan was late home every night and all the dinners Rory made were either spoiled or eaten alone. It was, he claimed, due to a tough business partner named Stu and, when Rory confessed to being lonely in the evening, he said blithely,
"I'm sure you'll find some way to entertain yourself. Got to run, Ace. I've got a meeting in Boston."
He kissed her cheek and slammed the door. Rory was still seething with anger by evening and, upon receiving a message to say he was working so late he was going to stay in Boston Rory was even more furious. She sat alone at the table, her lonely dinner uneaten, and then she picked up her phone. She had a way to entertain herself, she thought grimly, and dialled her friend's number.
"Hey, Jess," Rory said as he picked it up. "What are you doing tonight?"