Thanks for the feedback!

Rory and Logan set the date of the party three weeks later. It went without saying that it would be blacktie but when Rory asked her grandparents if they wanted to come they declined, to her guilty relief.

"It's a young person's party, dear," Emily said. "And it's been several years since we were young!"

Logan didn't even bother inviting Mitchum and Sira. Rory didn't pretend to be sorry.

The week before the party she went down to Stars Hollow to see Lorelai. They were sitting at the table, drinking coffee and catching up on news about the inn and troublesome guests.

"I thought Michel was going to self-combust," Lorelai sighed. She sipped her coffee and grinned. "Not that that wouldn't be funny."

"I'll tell Michel you said that."

"Oh, it's fine. I'll just buy him some cheese he likes," Lorelai grinned. "How about you? How's the new apartment?"

"It's fine," Rory said, shrugging slightly. "Logan's going to throw a housewarming party in a couple of weeks."

"That sounds fun!"

"Hopefully – it'll mostly be his work friends but I invited Paris."

Lorelai put her cup down and stared.

"Paris? How in the world did she get invited?"

"I invited her," Rory said uncomfortably. "We're still friends."

"I didn't know she was in town."

"She's not – her parents were allowed back to Hartford and she's helping them up. She's in Boston, it's not too far. I bumped into her the other day and asked her to come."

"What did Logan say?"

"He wasn't thrilled," Rory admitted. "But it's my party too and I should invite a friend. I'm not friends with his work colleagues."

"You don't like them?"

"I don't know them."

"Maybe you will at this party."

"Maybe," Rory said doubtfully and then shook her head. "No, it's not that kind of party. It'll be like those parties Grandma and Grandpa used to have, you know, where Grandpa would make shoptalk and Grandma would get impatient."

"Yikes."

"Yeah. Plus he has some new guy, practically a boss, called Stu, who keeps sending him to meetings and stuff and I know Logan will talk to him all night."

"With Paris there I don't think there's a danger of him bothering you."

"Hopefully." Rory finished her coffee and asked, "Mom, why don't you come?"

Lorelai looked uncomfortable.

"I don't know, Rory."

"Why not?" Rory demanded. "There'll food and cocktails – two things I know you like – and me and Paris isn't so bad –"

"Honey," Lorelai said gently. "You're right, those are all things I like – except Paris, some of the time – but I remember those parties Dad held. They were hideous. When I was old enough to stay up past nine I had to go to them and socialise – I was ten years old and was told to go mingle. What was I supposed to say? I'd just stand there while Dad and his friends made business talk and I'd try not to cough from the cigars they weren't supposed to be smoking."

"But it's not Grandma's party," Rory said eagerly. "It's my party. I won't make you mingle and there won't be cigars!"

"I'll have flashbacks! Sweetie, those parties really aren't my thing. Look, Paris will be there and you can come down the next day and we'll mock it together."

Rory nodded but knew the disappointment showed in her face. Lorelai bit her lip and asked guiltily,

"Sweets, does it matter so much that I come? I'll come. When is it?"

"Mom –"

"No, it'll be more fun if we mock it at the time."

"Mom, you don't want to go," Rory said heavily. "It's fine. I don't want you to come and be miserable."

"I feel like I'm letting you down."

"No," Rory said quickly and then, in a more cheerful tone, "no, don't be silly. It's fine. It's my husband's party, for God's sake, I don't need my mommy to hold my hand."

"Are you dreading it that much?"

"Huh?"

"You're making it sound like a dentist appointment," Lorelai said knowingly and Rory forced her face into a smile.

"No – I'm just nervous that people won't come or something."

"There's no danger of that, it's Logan's party. Besides, I think you'd like that – you never enjoyed parties. I know you. You'd rather curl up in your room with a book!"

Rory smiled and didn't tell her mother that she hadn't read anything for a while. The realisation made her uneasy and she decided to register at the library when she got back.

"Well," Lorelai said, checking her watch. "I should get back to the Dragonfly. Are you still meeting Lane?"

"Yep – I should get going."

"Then let's get!"

They walked to the jeep together and Lorelai kissed her daughter's cheek. Rory's car was parked beside it but Rory made no move to get in.

"Bye, sweets. You're not going to drive?"

"No, it's not far. I feel a like a walk anyway."

"Really? It looks like it might rain."

"It's okay, Mom, really. I'll be there in five minutes."

Lorelai nodded, waved, climbed into the jeep and started the car. Rory watched her disappear around the corner before starting to her friend's house.

The day was overcast and as Rory approached Lane's house fat raindrops began to fall. She let them fall, unperturbed, and the rain fortunately did not properly start until Rory was inside. She sipped the cup of tea Lane made her and watched the sheen of water against the glass.

"Rory?"

Rory turned around and saw Lane had settled on the couch with her own cup and, smiling, she followed suit. The house was silent: the twins were with their grandmother and Nico was astonishingly fast asleep.

"Sorry," she said, shaking herself. "I got distracted."

"It's okay," Lane said cheerfully. "I know the feeling."

Lane looked tired. Her hair was tangled, looking as though Lane had hastily run a brush through it, and there were bags under her eyes. Lane yawned and said,

"Bad night."

"Really?"

"It's more unusual to have a good night's sleep," Lane said darkly. "Nico yells half the night and then once she's settled one of the boys wakes up and wakes his brother up and they finally all fall asleep at dawn."

Rory winced and Lane sighed.

"Never have kids," she said and then, shaking her head, she hastily said, "No, I don't mean that. They're worth it, it's just..."

"Yeah."

"Appreciate your sleep now, that's all I'm saying," Lane laughed and Rory giggled, deciding it would be inappropriate to tell her friend that she spent most nights lying awake without knowing why. She didn't have any children, let alone three, so instead sipped her tea and kept her insomnia to herself.

"So tell me," Lane said, lying back against the cushions and letting out an exclamation of pain as she pulled out a hidden toy. "How's Hartford?"

"It's fine," Rory said as Lane dropped the toy on the floor, looking annoyed. "Logan's throwing a party next week."

"A party?"

"A housewarming party," Rory explained. "Mostly his work colleagues – there'll be cocktails."

"Sounds fancy."

Lane sounded a little wistful and Rory said,

"Hey, you should come!"

"What?" Lane asked with a laugh and Rory said excitedly,

"Yeah! Come on, Lane, it'll be fun. I'd love for you to come to the apartment."

"I'd love to too," Lane said sadly. "But not at some fancy cocktail party."

"Why not? It won't just be a bunch of suits – I'll be there, and Paris."

"Geller?" Lane exclaimed. "Now you're really selling it to me."

"Don't be mean!" Rory scolded. "Please, Lane? Get Zach to stay home and come out.

Lane sighed, looking at her cup for a moment, and then said,

"Rory, it's not because Paris is coming or because I'm worried about not knowing anyone. I can't go to a party like that right now."

"Why not?"

"Why not? Rory, I have three little kids. Nico's still feeding."

"Oh," Rory said awkwardly. Lane exhaled.

"Maybe if it was in Stars Hollow, or if I could bring her, but it's in Hartford and it'll be late. I could express milk but Rory, I kind of need the nights right now. I'm so tired. I just don't think I'd have a good time, even if I could go."

Rory felt ashamed and said in a small voice,

"I'm sorry, I didn't think –"

"Rory, don't apologise!" Lane exclaimed, looking ashamed herself. "I wish I could go! Do you know how long it's been since I was invited to a party – a real party, with people over the age of six? I can't. I've been nothing but a mom for the past three years."

"Oh, Lane "

"And I like it," Lane continued. "Most of the time, but it's not something I can ever take a break from. I miss being able to go out and not worry about diaper changes or feeds."

Rory was quiet and then she said,

"Listen, Lane, how long does your mom take the boys for?"

"Every afternoon," Lane said curiously. "Why?"

"Maybe one day you could come see the apartment," Rory said excitedly. "You could bring Nico, if you had to, and we could just relax – Logan'll be at work."

Lane looked thoughtful and then her face split into a wide smile.

"That sounds great!"

They spent the rest of the afternoon laughing and catching up yet Rory didn't tell her about the fights with Logan or going to see Jess. Lane would understand, she knew, and be sympathetic but Rory didn't want to try and explain. She kept picturing Paris's face, remembering her reaction, and Rory felt as though she had take part in something illicit, innocent though it was. She didn't want to make Lane part of it or talk about why she had gone to see Jess so conversation was kept to light topics such as times as Stars Hollow High and knowing where mothers came from, now that they were grown up. Rory left before Mrs Kim arrived, not wishing to discuss her independence again, and walked back home. She wondered if she would see Jess and almost stopped in at the diner but at the last minute decided against it and drove home. He probably wouldn't be there, she told herself, yet she felt sad on the road all the same.

The party was held two weeks later. Rory spent all of Friday poring over a recipe book for hors d'oeuvres, which someone had given them when they got married, yet the food refused to follow the instructions. Rory made one passable batch before giving in and buying the rest from a store wishing, in hindsight, that she had asked Sookie for help. Once the food was ready she set out the drinks as well as what the book called 'mocktails' for Honor, who couldn't drink, and Paris. The preparation took several hours more than Rory had expected and, feeling rather frazzled, she wished for the first time that she had agreed to a maid.

Logan came home just as she was changing. Rory had chosen a simple black dress with her hair in an upsweep and he grinned and kissed her just as she was choosing a necklace.

"Hey."

"Hey," Rory said absently. "Can you see my necklace?"

"All I can see are gold balloons," Logan said, looking around the apartment. "Is it someone's birthday?"

"I thought it would make the party seem more fun." Rory didn't add that she had regretted this decision after losing her breath for twenty minutes after blowing up an entire pack.

"That's one word for it," Logan said dismissively, kicking off his shoes. "Want to do something more fun?"

"Logan, people will be arriving soon," Rory said, noticing his grin. "There isn't time."

"They won't be coming for at least an hour – people are always late."

"You don't know that," Rory contradicted and, seeing her husband's face, added, "Logan, this is our housewarming party! People are arriving soon!"

"Says the girl who wanted to have sex at her grandparents' wedding!"

Rory scowled.

"That was when we were in college," she snapped. "And besides, it wasn't like I wanted to do it in the dancehall."

"Fine."

"Logan, I'm tired."

"You haven't been working all day!"

"No, I've been sitting at a right angle all afternoon trying to fix the stupid hors d'oeuvres and I couldn't do that right so I had to go to the store and then fix about fifty kinds of drinks and then blow up balloons which you think you are stupid!"

Logan stared and Rory blushed. She hadn't meant for her voice to sound so loud.

"Fine," he said quietly. "I'll go get changed."

"I'm just not in the mood," Rory said. "Even if no one was coming."

"You never are," Logan said quietly and, before Rory could begin to say how unfair that was, he was grabbing a towel and heading to the shower.

People started to trickle in about an hour later, as Logan had predicted. Logan introduced Rory to everyone in his office and she made polite conversation and shook all their hands. Once she had ensured that they all had a drink Rory took Logan aside and asked,

"Where's Stu?"

"Stu?" Logan sounded puzzled.

"You know, the guy who makes you work so hard," Rory said impatiently. "You said he was coming."

Recognition passed over her husband's face.

"He couldn't make it," he said. "He thought he might be coming down with something and didn't want to spread it around – the party's not the best place to go."

"No," Rory said, a little surprised. "It's not. That's too bad."

"I said you'd understand," Logan said, smiling. "Could you get me a scotch?"

Once Rory had fixed Logan's drink Paris arrived, Dolye by her side, and Rory ran to greet them.

"Doyle!" she cried. "I didn't know you were coming!"

"Designated driver," Doyle said with a pained expression. "She said she needed a designated driver."

"Oh, stop being such a baby, Doyle," Paris said impatiently. "I said you can have the reins in the bedroom for the next month."

Doyle turned pink and Rory coughed, hoping Paris didn't mean in the literal sense of the word.

"Gilmore, point me to the nearest martini," Paris said briskly. "I want to get blind drunk."

Rory made a martini for Paris and a mocktail for Doyle, who looked at the drink in disgust.

"Sorry," Rory said awkwardly. "I could get you lemonade?"

"It hasn't come to that," Doyle said, throwing the drink back and making a face. "Yet."

Paris excused herself to the bathroom and Rory and Doyle found a chair.

"So tell me, Gilmore," Doyle said. "How's my second in command? Have you taken the journalist world by storm?"

Rory shook her head and drank her cocktail.

"Not right now," she said. "You know with the move..."

"Right," Doyle said. "But you're getting interviews?"

"Soon, I hope," Rory said. Doyle nodded, looking unconvinced, and added,

"I had high hopes for you – becoming editor and all."

"Hey, you never know," Rory said defensively. "I've only just got here."

Doyle smiled and Rory squirmed, feeling, suddenly, that she was a freshman again and Doyle was criticising an article she had submitted. Before she could say anything else Logan was at her side and saying,

"Come on Rory, Honor's here and she wants to see the hostess!"

Rory gave Doyle an apologetic smile and got up. She saw Paris return from the bathroom and distinctively heard them mutter Huntzberger in a disgruntled voice.

The party was in full swing three hours later. Rory had greeted so many people that her voice had gone hoarse and the heels had made her feet feel numb. Logan had retreated to the corner of the room with some friends from Yale, including Colin and Finn, with more than one bottle of wine. Rory had smiled to see her old friends but it seemed that they had little to talk about now, besides sharing memories of Rory's arrest, which was less fun for her to recall. She retreated to the other side of the room where Paris was on her fourth cocktail and leaned against the wall.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"They your friends?" Paris asked, nodding at Colin and Finn who were roaring at some sort of joke. Rory shrugged.

"Used to be."

"They look like Hutzberger's type," Paris said coolly. She drank more of her cocktail and glanced at her watch. Rory was suddenly reminded of Madeline's party all of those years ago at Chilton and, though it was her party this time, she still felt like a guest.

"This your fourth cocktail?" Rory asked, nodding at her friend's glass. What with having to talk to so many people she had only had one drink. Paris grinned.

"Fifth."

"Paris," Rory started to say hesitantly. Her friend looked up.

"Yeah?"

"I –"

"There's no lemonade!" a voice suddenly burst out. "I can't drink any more mocktails and there's no lemonade!"

They looked at Doyle and Paris said,

"I think we should go."

"Oh – okay."

"Thanks for inviting me," Paris said. "What were you going to say?"

"Oh – nothing," Rory said awkwardly. She didn't even know. Something about not feeling like it was her party, that she didn't belong, yet even thinking it seemed stupid. She was glad Doyle had interrupted.

Rory walked them to the door. Logan was in the corner, playing what appeared to be some kind of drinking game and she had to say his name twice before he looked up. He had barely spoken to most of the guests all night.

"Paris and Doyle are going," she said and, rather rudely Logan replied,

"When did they get here?"

"It's been a pleasure, Huntzberger," Paris said, sticking her hand out. "You haven't changed."

"Yeah, likewise," Logan said and Doyle asked,

"Haven't sunk any of Daddy's ships lately, have you?"

"Don't be bitter, Doyle," grinned Logan. "Can you even reach the rudder?"

"Logan!" Rory exclaimed but Doyle just laughed, shook his head and left.

"How could you say that?" she cried, once her friends had gone. "That's so rude!"

"It was just a joke, Ace," Logan said, drinking scotch from the bottle. "He knew that."

"It wasn't funny."

"Oh, you should hear some of the things he says to us, darling," Finn slurred. "Positively outrageous!"

"Oi, I'm the flamboyant one," Colin retorted and the three dissolved into drunken laughter. Rory shook with anger and stormed away to get a drink.

Rory calmed down once she had drunk something. Logan, it seemed, had taken all the alcohol and most of the hors d'oeuvres so she made herself a mocktail and talked with Honor, who was just about to leave.

"My brother can be an idiot," she said consolingly. "Don't take it to heart."

"It wasn't me he was rude to."

"Like I said, he's an idiot. He'll be sorry in the morning."

Rory nodded and Honor decided to go. She said she could see herself out so Rory said goodbye to her there and drank some more. She decided to get some alcohol so made her way to where Logan was sitting, stopping at what she could hear.

"So is it regular?" she heard Colin ask and Logan chuckled.

"About twice a week."

"Not bad, not bad. You're not one of those couples, are you? You don't schedule sex?"

"Not yet," Logan laughed. "Though it wouldn't be bad to know I was getting a blowjob after work every Friday – she gives incredible head."

The entire group burst into roars of laughter and Rory stood out of sight, frozen on the spot.

"I thought you wanted to have a kid?" Finn asked. "You'll have to get scheduling then."

"She's not pregnant."

"Ah, but it'll be soon enough, right? Once you've got a kiddie you can forget all that. You're lucky if you'll shag once a month and you don't want to know what it'll do to her tits."

"What do you know about it, Finn?" Logan laughed. "Speaking from experience?"

"God, I hope not. That's what all the unlucky blokes with kids have told me."

"She doesn't want a kid yet anyway," Logan said. "I don't need to worry about that."

"You just want your blowjobs," teased Colin. "Does she swallow or spit?"

Rory could stand still no longer and marched into view. Her eyes were blazing with anger and they froze as they saw her. Colin let out a tentative laugh.

"Get out," Rory said in an icy tone. "All of you, get out."

"We were just –" Logan started to say and Rory shouted,

"Shut up!"

"I think we should go," Finn said hastily, getting up. "Great party."

Rory didn't say anything but coldly watched them all depart, one by one, before slamming the door shut and turning to meet her husband.

"Rory –"

"Fuck you!" she shouted. "Fuck you, Logan!"

"Rory, come on," Logan protested, making her eyes widen. "We were just catching up."

"No, you weren't just catching up," Rory said, trying not let her voice shake. "You were talking about me. How could you talk about me like that?"

"It doesn't mean anything!"

"Yes, it does! That's our business, my business, and you were telling them how often we have sex!"

"Like you never talk about that stuff," Logan retorted. "Wasn't it Paris who gave you the idea for text sex?"

"That's different!"

"How?"

"I didn't tell her how often we did it, when we did it and what you were like in bed!" Rory cried. "I didn't laugh about you or make fun of you! How could you?"

"Rory, it's no big deal!"

"It's no big deal," Rory echoed, shaking her head. "Disrespecting your wife is no big deal?"

"I wasn't disrespecting you!"

"You were laughing about me and sharing things I don't tell anyone!"

"You mean you've never told your mom how often we fuck?"

Logan's look of apology was replaced by a grin and Rory's anger came flying back.

"You're disgusting," she snarled. "You're crude and disgusting and you have never grown up!"

Logan stopped laughing as he yelled,

"I've never grown up? I've never grown up? I went to London for an entire year, I built a business and moved out here!"

"Because your dad made you!"

"You made me!"

"Oh, you're such a victim," Rory said venomously. "Spending all of your father's money and then crying because you had to get a job!"

"It was forced on me!"

"You never did a thing about it!"

"You're a fucking hypocrite," Logan snapped. "You whine and whine about never getting a job, about not having the same connections, and you live in luxury because of me!"

"Excuse me?"

"I pay for this apartment, I pay for your clothes and you sit at home doing nothing and then you say you're bored or you're too tired to fuck!"

"Oh, I should never complain!" Rory shouted. "I'm just your good little housewife who arranges a whole stupid party and gives you sex on command!"

"You make it sound like a bad thing," Logan teased, breaking the camel's back. A blind rage overcame Rory and she grabbed a glass and threw it against the wall where it shattered instantly.

"Jesus!" Logan yelled. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"I don't know, Logan," Rory said furiously. "Maybe a good little housewife shouldn't have a brain!"

"Yeah, that must be it!"

Rory couldn't take it anymore. She grabbed her jacket and keys and marched the door.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"I'm not staying here tonight," Rory said, putting her jacket on. "I can't."

"What about this mess?"

"You can clear it up," Rory snapped. "Get to know how the housewife feels!"

"Rory!"

She had already slammed the door shut and was halfway down the stairs. She drove out of Hartford as though her life depended on it and it was only when she was halfway to Stars Hollow that her tears of fury began to fall.