AN: Thank you everyone who has been reading and especially those who have been faithfully reviewing - reading your kind words brings me as much of a smile as you tell me the story brings you. So thank you - and please know that each of you are appreciated beyond words, wish I had time to thank everyone by name each chapter.

Hope everyone is doing well.

Take care and enjoy.

CHAPTER 37

CATHERINE POV

"I spoke with Kelly," I state, figuring it's as good a place to start this conversation as any.

This isn't going to be easy, and I think the best approach right now is going to be just diving straight in.

Sara takes in my words, eyes looking me over. "Okay."

"You didn't tell her about the incident at Harvard, did you?" I question, referencing the last paper that Sara included in her information.

While Kelly had clear issue with one of the largest revelations Sara included, I know my friend would also have found great concern with the Harvard incident. I know she would have brought it up during our conversation if she'd known about it.

Of all the things Sara shared with me, this alone held the most concern for me personally. This is something I know I need more information about before I go any further.

"No," Sara confirms my thoughts.

"Why not?"

She shakes her head slightly, "I didn't have to. Once she heard about everything that happened with my brother, I could see the shift in her. She'd already made her decision." Sara's eyes lower slightly, "To add anything else at that point was irrelevant."

I take this in, understanding Sara's approach. Sara can read people better than almost anyone I've ever met. I don't doubt she probably knew Kelly's decision even before my friend did.

"Do you really think you hurt that girl?"

Sara swallows tightly, the room falling to silence. When she leans back, I note her hands are shaking.

"I don't know," she gets out, voice barely a whisper. "But I think that fact alone is concerning enough. To know it's possible for you to have done such a thing. That's more than enough to be alarming."

"Walk me through it."

"Catherine..."

"Walk me through it, Sara. Make me understand why you included it."

"We were alone," Sara forces out, making herself honor my request of her, despite how painful it clearly is for her to do so. "We were drunk and high, alone in her dorm room."

Sara breathes out, her breath as shaky as her hands.

"When I woke up in the morning, she was lying on her bed, but... but her clothes were ripped. Her underwear was on the floor...and there... there was blood..."

Sara's features are so pale that I'm worried for her, her hands clenching together to try to hide how badly they're trembling.

"She was clearly sexually assaulted," Sara gets out.

"And why do you think it was you?" I push, knowing that this, of all the information in Sara's papers, is the one thing that gave me genuine pause and reservation. The one thing that seemed so out of character for Sara, the version of her that I've seen and think I know her to be.

"She was my girlfriend," Sara gets out. "We were alone. Who else would it have been?"

"How much of the night do you remember, Sara?" I ask.

"I remember us drinking, taking some pills and whatever else she had, we were going to watch a movie in her room."

"How much do you remember?" I press again.

"I remember the first part of the movie."

"And then?"

Sara swallows, head lowering as she clenches her fists tightly.

"Then nothing until the next morning."

"So how can you know it was you, Sara?" I state honestly. "How can you assume it was you that did those things to her?"

"Who else would it have been?" Sara asks darkly. "We were in her room. Alone."

"Did you lock the door?" I question. "Or were you like most college students and left it open?"

Sara's head stays lowered.

"It was closed, but not locked."

"Did she have other roommates that lived in her dorm room with her?"

Sara is quiet, her head lowered.

"Answer me, Sara."

A pause.

"Yes."

"So any one of them could have come in while you were blacked out?"

Another pause.

"Yes."

"When you woke up, you said there was blood. Was there a lot?"

"Yes."

"And was there any blood on you? Your hands, your clothing? Anywhere?"

She turns away, head staying down.

When she's quiet, I push again, knowing we need to pursue this all the way through.

"Sara. Answer me."

"No," she forces out. "There wasn't."

"Then how in the world can you think that you, of all people, were the one that did something like that."

"Because how can I not, Catherine?" Sara bites out. "My girlfriend and I plan a movie night together, we get high off our asses and she ends up sexually assaulted while we're alone in her dorm room. How the fuck am I supposed to come to any conclusion but that one?"

"Sara," I cut in. "You know as well as I do that there are way too many variables in that to assume anything of that magnitude. How improbable it would be that you assault someone who is bleeding heavily, and yet have no trace of blood on you. No injuries of your own. Not to mention how you could manage to have the strength and ability to assault someone when you're intoxicated enough to be blacked out for hours yourself."

I move to the edge of my seat on her couch, trying to get just the slightest bit closer to her.

"Run it like any scene of ours, Sara. Think through it. If it were my case, I'd have cleared you already as a suspect."

"But you don't know," Sara counters. "You can't know for sure it wasn't me."

Sara's hands are now shaking violently when she runs them through her hair.

"Just the thought that I could have done something like that to her?" she gets out, voice strangled.

"Stop."

Moving forward, I perch myself on the edge of her coffee table.

"Look at me."

She shakes her head, dark hair falling over her shoulders.

"Sara, look at me."

When she doesn't, I reach out, pulling her jaw upward until she's facing me.

"You didn't hurt her, Sara," I tell her sternly. "You can't go through your life thinking you're some rapist just because it was never learned who did hurt her. This isn't something that becomes your fault by absence of the real perpetrator."

She clenches her jaw, eyes haunted.

"Just the thought of it...of knowing we were alone when that night started...and seeing her like that...the thought that I could have done something like that..."

"I know," I tell her gently, keeping my grip on her jaw firm. "Which is why, even more than the evidence against it, I know you had nothing to do with what happened to her that night."

"You don't know me," Sara counters. "The things I'm capable of..."

Sara pulls back, ripping my hand from her.

"You know now I'm a murderer," she states in a dark tone. "Why not also a rapist?"

She stands, expression dark as she turns away from me.

"No," I cut in, standing myself and putting my body directly in front of hers. "You don't get to do this."

"Do what?" she asks. "Be honest?"

"No," I respond. "You don't get to give me information about you and then try to tell me how I feel about it. You gave it to me so that I could decide that for myself."

Reaching out, I turn her face back to mine, not caring how much it's pissing her off. She's not going to keep running from this, from me.

"I may not have known you long, Sara, but I know you well enough to know you're not a rapist. I knew it before I asked for more information about what happened, and I sure as hell know it for sure now. I don't care what you believe happened that night, because I know there's no way you hurt that girl."

"You-"

"I'm not finished," I cut her off sternly. "You're going to listen to what I have to say."

Her jaw tightens under my grip, her eyes dark.

"I don't know what the hell happened to her that night, but I know in my heart that you had nothing to do with it. That's not who you are, Sara. That's not the type of thing you're capable of."

"I murdered someone!" she cuts it, one of the very few times Sara's ever raised her voice around me. "Why the hell are you still so naïve about what I'm capable of?!"

"Killing that man was not murder!" I bite back, my own tone just as stern. "Killing that man was protecting your family! It was keeping your sister safe and making sure no other child ended up like your brother did!"

I shake my head, my free hand clenching so tight that it's shaking.

"What you did was not murder someone, what you did was protect a whole lot of someones!"

I stare her down, my gaze battling with her own.

"And that's how I know you had nothing to do with what happened with your girlfriend. Anything violent I've ever seen you do was always to protect someone. Your sister, me, Lindsey. You protect people, Sara, that's what you do. You don't hurt them."

My voice softens as my anger leaves me, filled with something else.

"I'm sorry, honey, but what I told you at my house the morning after your nightmare is still true. I've already seen who you are, Sidle, and nothing changes that."

Sara's silent, her labored breathing the only noise in her entire apartment.

"You don't..."

"I know enough," I answer the unspoken remainder of her comment. "I've seen more than enough evidence regarding who you are, your character."

I rub my thumb along her jaw, not letting go, but careful to keep my touch one of comfort.

"You gave me all that information, every possible moment in your past that would give someone pause, to allow me to determine if I still wanted to pursue something with you. You don't have the right to take that decision away from me now."

Sara is quiet, her eyes narrowing as she takes in my words.

"You mean..."

"I mean I want to pursue a relationship with you, Sara Sidle. I mean that nothing you shared with me changes how I feel about you in any way."

I let her see the truth behind my words, the honesty there.

"What you shared definitely took me aback," I tell her. "It made me angry, sad, disgusted, and a whole lot of other things. But I felt those things regarding what you'd been through, what other people did to you, Sara. Never about anything you did."

I run my thumb across her skin, feeling the tension underneath her clenched jaw.

"Knowing your past helps me understand you so much better," I tell her gently. "And I can never thank you enough. But, your past didn't change the person that I see standing before me. The person that I'm still so proud of, so admiring of."

I watch her gaze, making sure it's even with mine.

"The person who I still trust with my life. With my daughter's life."

Swallowing, Sara shakes her head slightly, the only movement my still tight grip allows.

"How can you be so sure about me?" she questions. "When I have so many doubts?"

I smile slightly, "I think mirrors sometimes are a lot less reliable than windows."

The apartment again falling to silence, Sara seems to take in my words as her gaze leaves mine.

"If I let go of you," I question when the minutes stretch on. "Are you going to promise not to keep trying to run away from me?"

Closing her eyes briefly, Sara finally nods.

Removing my hand from her jaw, I move it to lay flat along her chest instead.

"I care about you so much, Sara," I tell her honestly. "And I just wish you could see yourself the way I see you."

I smile warmly, "Because, sweetheart, I have absolutely no reservations about the person that you are. I've seen who you are, and she's nothing but beautiful, inside and out."

Sara swallows, and I feel how hard her heart is thundering against my hand, how tense this moment is.

"Are you sure?" she asks me, voice so quiet I nearly miss it. "Are you sure you trust me? Because I'm not sure I trust myself."

"I'm sure."

There's no hesitation, no qualms about my statement. I would never take a chance when it comes to my safety or the safety of my daughter. If I thought for one second Sara was a threat, I would never even waste a second thinking about pursuing something with her.

I'm sure of this, I'm sure of her. Even if she's not sure of herself.

I'm willing to be sure enough for the both of us.

"If you'll still have me," I state, "I'm more than interested in seeing where this goes. In giving whatever this is between us a shot."

Sara smiles slightly, shaking her head at my wording.

"It would be my honor, Catherine," Sara says genuinely.

"When did you know?" I ask curiously. "That you had feelings for me?"

I told Sara when I knew my feelings for her, but I'm genuinely curious about her own feelings that I was sure were less then pleasant towards me for most of our early time together. Hell, even most of our more recent time together.

"I realized I was physically attracted to you when you approached me in the locker room, telling me we needed to talk about Gabe."

I raise a brow, "That was our first meeting."

Sara's cheeks blush lightly, a soft shade of pink working it's way towards her ears.

"I know."

Looking up, she shrugs lightly, still looking more than a little embarrassed.

"I have eyes," she says. "You're gorgeous. I didn't need more than one meeting to notice that."

I laugh, shaking my head.

"But you hated me," I tell her.

She laughs now as well, the sound light but genuine.

"Your personality took a little longer to grow on me than your looks."

Smacking her arm gently, I watch as she once again grows serious.

"That night at the bar, when you gave me your drink," she says. "That's when I think I finally allowed myself to see through to who you really are. See how much you care about everyone. Your daughter, Kelly, your job. Gabe."

She searches my eyes with her own.

"I saw someone that evening who is warm, caring, selfless. I saw someone who I wanted to get to know better."

Sara watches me, "And, as I've gotten to know her better, I've just fallen harder and harder."

I breathe out deeply at her words, seeing the sincerity there, the openness.

"Feeling's mutual," I offer, voice nothing but a whisper.

Then, her eyes on mine, I feel my hand along her chest take gentle hold of her tank top. Pulling, I draw her closer, her body now mere inches from mine.

Her gaze deepens, her hazel eyes moving from mine down towards my mouth, then back up again. Seeing her swallow tightly, I feel myself doing the same.

Then, without a further thought, I close the final distance between us, bringing my lips to hers.

The kiss is soft, tentative. My lips meeting with her own, noting the vibrations that seem to hum through me at the contact. Free hand reaching up, my fingers tangle themselves in her hair, using the position to increase the contact between us.

Her own hands raise up, placing themselves along my neck, making me gasp at the sensation.

Pulling back for breath, I see Sara's eyes fluttering open the same as mine.

Watching each other, we both seem like we're both connected in a way we never have been before.

Eyes flickering downward, Sara's gaze is on my mouth, her thumb reaching up to gently trace my lower lip.

Then, without hesitation, she leans in.

This time, the kiss is much deeper, much less reserved. I feel her one hand place itself along my hip as her other returns to the sensitive spot along my neck.

Moaning, I immediately grant her access when I feel her tongue tracing along my bottom lip. The humming between us now seems like a full electrical storm, every inch of me feeling like it's pulsing with energy, exposed and yet safe all at the same time.

By the time we pull away from this second kiss, we're both breathing heavily, Sara's cheeks flushed as I'm sure mine are the same.

"Wow," I breath out.

Sara smiles slightly, blushing for the second time today.

"Feeling's mutual," she echoes back my earlier words.

Smiling deeper, she watches me, her fingers tracing gently along my cheek.

"I think I'd like to see where this goes, too," Sara tells me, voice quiet. "If you're sure."

"Stop asking me if I'm sure," I smile slightly. "That kiss should have shown you just how sure I am."

I shake my head, running my fingers gently across her cheek bone.

"But, in case you need further convincing..."

I reach out with my other hand, drawing her back down to me with a smile.

AN: Thanks for reading.