AN: So so so so sorry for the long delay in updates. Holidays, life, getting sick, work, and a bunch of other random stuff in between has had things a bit more hectic than usual. Thanks as always to those reading and reviewing, the inspiration and motivation is always because of you.

Hope everyone is doing well.

Take care and enjoy.

CHAPTER 38

CATHERINE POV

"We should go in."

No response.

I smile slightly, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Sara. We should go in."

No response.

"Dear God, Sidle, stop looking at me like that."

This finally gets a response from the brunette, Sara grinning slightly as she raises a brow.

"Like what?"

"Like that. Like you wish we weren't at work so we could…you know..."

"I do wish we weren't at work," Sara smiles wider. "So we could…you know…"

"Gasp," I state dramatically, placing a hand over my heart. "Did Sara Sidle say she wishes she wasn't at work?!"

Laughing slightly, Sara shakes her head at me, placing her coat in her locker.

"We should go in," she says this time.

Straightening up, she closes the distance between us. Looking into my eyes, she pauses a moment before leaning down to meet her lips with mine. Kissing me softly, she pulls back.

"Sorry," she offers quietly with a smile. "We may be at work but I couldn't help it."

I shake my head, "No complaints from me."

Reaching out, I take her hand, knowing this private moment in the locker room is going to be the last time we'll have this luxury all day.

While Sara and I can joke about where we are and what we're doing, we're both much too professional to even consider carrying any sort of relationship over into the workplace. We know that when we're between these walls, our personal life needs to remain on the periphery. As soon as shift assignments start, our relationship pauses.

Giving her hand a squeeze, I pull back.

"Stay safe tonight," I tell her.

"You too," she offers, taking a deep breath before she opens the door for me, leading the way out to learn what unfortunate souls require our assistance this night.

"How did it go?"

"Good, I think."

Kelly sends me a thoughtful look, passing me a menu.

While the situation between Kelly and me is a bit complicated, she's my best friend. One of the most important people in my life. When I got to work this morning, I sent her a text asking if she wanted to do lunch.

Kelly and I are always open and honest with one another, and along with that pact we also try not to ever let things keep us apart. But, I know myself, and I know Kelly. Sometimes, when we're bothered by something, we tend to let space come between us, then each of us waiting on the other to initiate contact again. This time, I didn't want that to even have a chance to become an issue, wanting to see Kelly as soon as possible to be sure we're okay after our conversation.

"So you and her…it's official?"

"We talked, agreed to see where this goes," I tell her, pausing to place my order with the waitress.

"And that's it?" Kelly asks when the waitress leaves. "Just talked?"

"Talked and…kissed."

Kelly raises a brow.

"Look," I cut in. "I'm hoping to take this slow. My time in Vegas, not to mention my interactions with Sara so far in Vegas, have been less than simple. We have a hell of a past to work through, and I want to move forward carefully. Get to know each other better, spend more time together. Then, if all goes well, see if we still want to take things further at that point."

"Okay," Kelly taps her fingers against her water glass, still looking at me with slightly narrowed eyes.

Kelly knows me, which means she also knows my tendency to jump into things with my romantic partners. I haven't exactly been the most patient lover in the past, usually letting my desires dictate the pace.

"I'm serious," I tell her. "It's not that I don't want…to…you know…with her…because I do. God, I really do." I clear my throat. "But, even more than that I don't want to mess this up. Everything is complicated enough without jumping right into things before we're ready."

"You mean before she's ready."

I consider her words, the insinuation of her words.

"Partly," I agree, knowing Sara probably has different timelines when it comes to relationships than I usually do. Different timelines when it comes to trust. She doesn't strike me as someone that just dives in headfirst with people before she knows them, fully trusts them. "But also before I'm ready."

I send her my own look.

"I'm trying to start a new life here," I tell Kelly sincerely. "That doesn't include making the same mistakes I made in Montana. I need to know this is headed somewhere long term before I even consider getting to that level with her."

"What changed?"

I answer easily, "Lindsey."

Kelly nods, already knowing what I'm saying with that one word alone. Lindsey is old enough now that she understands her mother's actions, understands and notices the people that she brings into her life. She's too old for me to be sneaking around or rushing into things with people, bringing them into Lindsey's life only for them to disappear a short time later.

Sara and I need to do this right, not just for ourselves but also for the people around us. That includes Lindsey, and that includes Kelly. They both have a lot at stake, in different ways, regarding Sara and I and whether or not we ultimately work out.

And, while I've fallen more than hard for Sara already, we have a ways to go before I feel we're at a place of being in an official, public relationship - one that's shared with our friends, family, coworkers. Right now we're getting to know each other better, and then seeing where things go. I refuse to let us get too far down a road until I'm sure we both want to be on it, and are in agreement about its destination.

But, I remind myself with a steadying breath, the hardest parts are behind us. Now we have the ability, and the pleasure, to finally be moving forward – at a pace we're both comfortable with.

"You're happy?" Kelly asks quietly, watching the thoughts passing through my gaze.

"Very."

She sees the genuine answer, the sincerity behind my words.

"Good," she responds, offering a small smile. Then to lighten the moment, she shrugs, "But if you're ever not happy and need me to kick her ass for you, let me know."

I laugh, raising my brows, "You really think you could take her?"

Kelly shrugs, "Maybe. You know I'm scrappy in a fight. Plus, your girl may be a badass, but she's scrawny as hell."

I snort, trying not to blush at the reference to Sara as 'my girl'. But, to be honest, it sounds damn good to my ears.

"Willowy," I smile. "She likely prefers willowy to scrawny."

"Whatever," Kelly rolls her eyes. "Willowy, scrawny, gangly. Bottom line, I could hold my own against miss dark and mysterious."

Laughing, I shake my head, "Let's just hope we never need to test that theory."

Kelly smiles, looking a little lighter, a little softer from the last time I saw her - when I revealed to her my feelings for Sara and my desires to pursue those feelings. I know we still have some further to go in regards to getting ourselves back to the carefree relationship we both cherish, but we're well on our way.

Reaching across the table, I take Kelly's hands in mine.

"Thank you for being supportive of this," I tell her sincerely. "I know it can't be easy for you."

Kelly shrugs, trying to be casual about it.

"It's a lot to adjust to," she eventually says honestly. "But I'm getting there. I just want you to be happy, Cath. And, despite my threats to take out Sara if she upsets you, I really just want her to be happy, too. You both deserve it."

She lets out a long breath.

"Maybe you can both finally be happy. Together."

Walking me to the door to the lab, Kelly gives me a hug, holding on tightly. A lot is communicated in that hug, and I hold her back just as tight.

There are very few places in the world I feel happier than when I'm with my best friend, and I'm so glad to have her back in my life.

"Have a good rest of your shift. Stay safe."

"Thanks," I smile as I pull back, noticing the car pulling into the lot behind her.

She notices the motion as well, turning to see the occupants getting out of the black SUV. We go quiet as we watch Sara and Nick head towards us.

Nick offers Kelly a smile, recognizing her from my house warming.

"Hi, Kelly," he greets. "Nice to see you again."

"You as well, Nick," Kelly responds politely, giving him a nod.

As he moves inside, Sara hesitates by the door, eyes avoiding contact with Kelly's. They both remain completely silent, clearly unsure of what to do or say.

"I'm, uh, going to go help Nick get this processed," Sara eventually breaks the silence, referencing the evidence bags in her hands.

Eyes finally glancing at Kelly, she offers a small nod to my friend before opening the door and walking into the lab.

In the resulting silence, Kelly and I both seem to remain stuck, unsure of what to do.

"Well, that was awkward," my friend finally gets out.

I snort, "I think awkward is an understatement."

"Sorry," Kelly apologizes with a sigh, pushing her hands down into the pockets of her jeans anxiously. "I didn't mean to just freeze up like that. I just wasn't expecting…to see her…"

"I know," I tell her, gently squeezing her arm. "Nothing to be sorry for. It's going to take time. For you and for her."

Kelly nods, letting out a deep breath.

Sending me a smile, she shakes her head. "Anyway, you have to get back to work and so do I. Stop being lazy, CSI Willows."

Swatting her on the arm, I laugh as she heads back to her car with a wave.

Letting out a long breath of my own, I prepare myself for the rest of the shift. I know things are going to take time, for all of us, but I can only look forward to the day when all of this is settled, when both Sara and Kelly are not only in a good place with me, but also with each other.

"Hey," I greet, careful not to startle the brunette as I enter into her back lab where she's filling out a form.

Looking up, she sends me a small smile.

"Hey."

"You think you're going to get out of here on time?" I question, trying to gauge the amount of work spread out around her. It's a hard task, none of the surrounding items giving me much indication as to what's already been processed and what hasn't.

Sighing, she straightens up, tapping her pen against her hand.

"Not sure yet, actually."

"Okay," I try to remain hopeful. "Well, text me when you get out of here?"

"Of course," she sends me a nod and another small smile, this one coming much closer to reaching her eyes.

"Catherine?"

Turning when I reach the door, I note Sara's tapping of her pen has turned anxious.

"I just," she shakes her head. "I'm sorry about outside. With Kelly."

I furrow my brows, not getting what she's sorry about.

"I should've…" she swallows. "I should've been more polite to her than I was."

"You were cordial," I tell her, not having expected more from Sara, or Kelly, than what they gave. Which was polite and mutual acknowledgement.

"But, she's your best friend," Sara counters in response, shaking her head. "You deserve me treating her better than I did."

"I don't expect anything from you, Sara, other than honesty. Your relationship with Kelly is independent from my relationship with you. Don't ever think otherwise."

Sara watches me, her eyes searching mine.

"She doesn't want you to be with me, does she?"

Sara's quiet question throws me, not expecting Sara to have asked it. Now. Ever. But, her soft, and steady, tone tells me it's clearly something she's had on her mind for a while.

"Why would you say that?"

Sara's gaze doesn't falter.

"I scared Kelly. I scare Kelly," Sara corrects. "It's why she didn't want to pursue anything with me."

She takes a deep breath in, steadying herself against the unseen emotions within her.

"If she doesn't trust me with the safety of herself, she isn't going to trust me with the safety of her best friend."

Closing my eyes, I take in her words, hesitating with my own. How do you tell someone that they're right about something like this? That yes, someone is scared for their safety around you - that they think you're a danger to them and their loved ones?

When I open them again, however, I see Sara's expression. I see that she's already aware of the truth behind her own statement. She knew the answer before she even asked the initial question, and it would be worse to try to lie to her.

"Kelly has her reservations," I confess truthfully. "But she also gave us her blessing. She's willing to trust me on this decision."

Sara goes quiet, not responding as her eyes leave mine to focus somewhere behind me.

Stepping forward, I make sure the distance between us still looks casual to anyone walking by, but I angle my head to meet her eyes.

When her beautiful hazel gaze finally reconnects with mine, I let her see everything.

"The only one who still needs to trust my decision is you, Sara."

Her jaw working tightly, Sara struggles not to look away again.

"I should talk with Kelly," she says after a moment, not directly responding to my statement, but acknowledging it in her own way. "I think we need some closure."

"I think that's a very good idea," I agree, knowing Sara and Kelly can't keep up this awkward dance around each other. Avoidance isn't going to remain as a practical option for much longer. "And I'm proud of you for being willing to do that."

"She deserves it," Sara says without reservation. "And, so do you."

Watching me, Sara finally lets out a tense breath, shoulders relaxing slightly for the first time since I entered her workspace.

"Now, let me get back to work," she smiles slightly. "So I can hopefully get out of here at a reasonable hour and finally get to do more than just stare at you from across a layout room."

Laughing, I smile back, "That's a solid plan. One I'm in full compliance with."

Heading to the doorframe, I give her one last look.

"Try not to take too long."

By the time Sara pulls into my drive, it's easily a good two hours after the end of shift. Hearing the light tapping at the door, I let her in.

"Hey," she greets quietly, knowing Lindsey is asleep. "I'm so sorry, I got caught up with –"

Stepping forward, I silence her, pressing a gentle but purposeful kiss to her lips. She responds almost immediately, deepening the kiss as her mouth grants access to my own.

Pulling her towards me and deeper into the house by her jacket, she follows me, managing to avoid any major collisions as we blindly head towards the kitchen.

When we arrive, I feel my back connect with my counter, moaning quietly as Sara's body presses into mine.

When our hips meet, I feel like I may lose all control.

Pulling her head back, Sara's breathing is heavy, her eyes lifting to mine as we simply watch each other, trying to catch our breaths.

"Shit," Sara mutters after a moment, shaking her head as she starts to move away.

"Hey," I reach out, grabbing her by the waist of her jeans and pulling her back to me. "Where are you going?"

Watching me, she studies my expression.

"I…"

She hesitates, like she's trying to figure out what to do, what to say.

"You think I don't want this?" I ask her seriously, wondering if she's fearing that she was being too forward.

Reaching out with the hand that isn't currently holding her in place, I take her own hand, moving it to my chest.

"Feel that?" I ask, my heart thundering against my ribs.

She looks down at our joined hands, her eyes then raising back up to mine.

Leaning in, she kisses me, this time softer, slower, but no less intense.

In fact, I think I'm learning that nearly everything Sara Sidle does is intense.

When she pulls back, her cheeks are blushing slightly.

"Glad I'm not the only one feeling that way," she confesses quietly.

"Does it scare you?" I ask, my voice nearly a whisper.

Sara looks at me, expression more open than I've seen it in a long time.

"Yes."

Reaching out, I run my fingers lightly down her cheek, to her jaw, her neck, and then stopping when it rests against the edge of her collarbone peeking out from the collar of her shirt.

"Me too."

Yes, we at some point need to talk, need to communicate our boundaries and pace and figure out where we're headed and our plans for getting there.

But, right now, she's standing here with me in my kitchen.

Exhausted, flushed, and so damn beautiful.

In this moment, the only thing I can think about is how much I want to kiss her, hold her.

So, for once I stop thinking, and I do exactly that.

All the rest can wait.

AN: Thanks for reading.