Disclaimer: I'm a 13 year old girl with no job, no money, and according to my parents, everything I own really belongs to them, so I don't think I own Castle. And even if I did, my parents would probably claim it.

*October 19, 2005 (Samantha-9)*

"Daddy, no!"

"Samantha, sweetie, I know it hurts but it's gonna be okay." Joel sighed, bracing himself for his daughter's inevitable meltdown.

"But daddy..." Samantha's eyes filled with tears.

"I know, sweetheart, I know," he soothed, even as the fat droplets streamed down her cheeks.

"But *hic* she can't really be dead. They made a-a-a mistake, right daddy. Miss Isa isn't really dead, they just, uh *sniffle* they got it wrong." Samantha was desperate, grasping at straws, forcing herself to hang on to the false hope that her beloved teacher couldn't possibly be dead. It jut wasn't possible yet it happened.

"Samantha, look at me. In my eyes. Listen baby, it's not your fault."

"You don't even know what happened! I was right there I could've helped..." She trailed off.

"There was no way that you could have stopped the car from coming."

"But she was saving me! I was the one being irresponsible. She died because of me. You know it's true daddy."

"Sam honey, it's not your fault." Her father came closer to engulf her in the safety of his embrace but she pushed him away.

"You don't understand!" She wailed in despair, "I loved her daddy. I still do. She was like a second mom to me and now she's dead and it's all because of me!" She turned her red, tear filled eyes to her father then quickly dashed upstairs to her room, slamming her door, and ignoring the voice of her father, calling her back.

Leaning against the door, tears streaming down her face, Samantha knew what she had to do. Locking the door before stepping away from it, she walked to the far corner of her bedroom to find a duffel bag to sit her purpose. Several times in the past year Samantha had considered running away after her parents had begun working longer and longer hours and she was left by herself with her annoying babysitter. "They wouldn't even notice," she told herself. But every time she attempted to pack her things and go, she thought about how much her friends would miss her even if her parents wouldn't, so she stayed. But now, she didn't think even her friends would miss her. How could they when she was the cause of the death of their favorite teacher's death. No, she resolutely decided, they wouldn't miss her. Wiping furiously at her eyes, she grabbed a big black duffel from the bottom of the pile of bags. Various items of clothing were thrown in along with a fat wad of cash that her parents weren't aware she had stashed in a purse at the back of her closet. As the girl surveyed her room for anything she might have forgotten, she allowed a few tears to fall before she steeled herself to put on a mask of calm to fool her father.

Knock, knock "I'm coming in Sam," her father call from the other side of the closed door."

"OK, daddy," she said as her father came in anyway.

"I know that you feel-where do you think your going?" He desperately tried to sound like the stern and concerned father he knows he's supposed to be, but he couldn't help the amusement that bled through.

"I'm just heading to Melanie's. Leo's there too. We're gonna grieve together. I think best friends deserve to do that. I'm sleeping over, probably for the whole weekend."