Remy's Diabolical Plan

Chapter Five: In Which There Is Nothing Diabolical

~X~

It was fully dark by the time they finally arrived at the beach. They followed Professor X's directions but still got lost. It turned out that he not only owned a beach house, he owned a private beach house on a private beach. After parking the car they all stood in front of it, staring up at the house. They couldn't see much since it was dark, but the flood light automatically came on when it detected them near and they were able to make out a few things about it.

It wasn't extravagant and fancy, but it was of good size and it looked nice. They were able to see that it was blue with white shutters and a big wrap around porch that held several white colored rocking chairs and one swing. There was obviously more than one story because it was tall and loomed over them in the darkness. The stairs leading up to the porch were also white and they made their way up them (Scott limping the whole way) and up onto the porch.

But what all of them wanted to see the most, they couldn't make out in the dark. The house faced the ocean and it was just a few yards off from where they stood, continuously rolling up onto the beach and creating the most calming sound. The air smelled like salt and sand and it somehow felt different from the air back at home. It was cleaner, warmer, wetter, and so refreshing that Rogue couldn't help but to keep gulping in deep breaths of it into her lungs.

Remy picked out the right key and slid it into the lock. It opened without any trouble and after everyone took off their shoes, they all stumbled into the dark living room. Kitty held her cell phone out in front of her like a flashlight until she found a light switch and flipped it on.

The girls oohed and awed over the pretty colors and the wooden blinds and the wooden beams on the ceiling and the pretty blue paint. The guys only noticed one thing. A big flat screen TV hanging on the wall that had a note on the front of it that said 'DON'T BREAK IT'.

At some point Professor X must have sent someone here to clean the place up and prepare it for them (and write the note) but they all put it to the backs of their minds to ask him about later. They helped Scott over to sit on the couch and Kurt sat down next to him, remote already in hand. They were content to sit down and watch TV but all of the girls (and Remy apparently) wanted to see the rest of the house.

There wasn't a wall to separate the next room, and even though it was still dark, they already knew before they headed over there that it was the kitchen. A big kitchen (which Jean excitedly pointed out). This time the girls oohed and awed over tiles on the wall and on the counter tops, the island in the middle of the kitchen, and all the shiny chrome.

Kitty found the light switch and a few lights in the ceiling slowly brightened.

"OOOOOOO," they all said at the same time as they were able to better take in their surroundings.

The next room was a long hall that had three different doors, a pair of closet doors, and a set of stairs. They went through the first door under the stairs to find the dining room, another door was a small bathroom, and behind the closet doors at the end of the hall sat a washer and dryer. The last door led outside which they ignored in favor of racing each other up the stairs, nearly killing themselves because someone shouted, "Last one up is a rotten egg!" And since no one desired to be a rotten egg, they all wrestled upwards, which turned out to be quite stupid because there were no lights on upstairs yet and they didn't know where they were going. So they blindly struggled up the stairs. They ended up smacking headlong into the wall, because the stairs had turned and no one had been able to tell. But yet they still didn't stop, everyone just kept surging forward, some laughing, some screaming, and Jean was nearly wetting herself she was laughing so hard at them as she stood at the bottom of the stairs and listened.

Finally after they had become a tangle of limbs on the stairs, Kurt held up his arms and said loudly. "Ok, STOP! Everyone stop MOVING!"

Everyone instantly stilled.

"Wait…" Remy said from the bottom of the heap, "Kurt? Where did you come from? Ow!"

Rogue, who was sitting on Remy's back stopped pinching him.

"Who's on top of me?" Remy asked and Rogue pinched him again.

"Rogue!" he said suddenly, "I know that's you!"

Rogue laughed quietly.

Kurt was carefully trying to pick his way around the bodies in the dark and up the remaining steps, feeling his way along the wall with one hand and gripping the stair rail with the other hand. He didn't bother to say anything about his sudden and unexplained appearance to anyone, but instead felt his way up to the landing. It took several minutes to find the light switch once he was there, but eventually he found it and flipped it on. He busted out laughing when his gaze took in the group on the stairs, all tangled up and on top of each other. Remy was at the bottom and starting to turn red.

But once Kurt had the light on, they all fled up the stairs again, leaving Remy to help himself.

"Ha!" Tabitha shouted in triumphant. "Remy's a rotten egg!"

Grumbling, Remy followed after them, followed by a still laughing Jean whom everyone had apparently forgotten about and so she wasn't named the rotten egg.

When they made it to the landing, they were met with the sight of more blue walls stretching down a long hallway lined with white doors. Instantly they all started running into a bedroom, screaming, 'this one's mine' and then running over to see what the other rooms looked like.

There were four bedrooms. In one of them the curtains and bed coverings were a pale yellow color. Amara and Tabitha walked into this one before they even flipped on the light, claimed it was theirs, and then turned on the light and said they both hated yellow. Another room was red and tan, and Jean, swearing up and down that they would sleep in separate beds, claimed it for her and Scott. The third room was just blue and white again and after walking into it, Kurt fell to his knees and screamed 'For the love of God stop with the blue' but then he went over and started jumping on the bed and so they figured he was claiming that room. Remy shrugged and then walked in after him, peering out through the blinds and into the back yard…or to be more precise, he looked into the big black space where he supposed the backyard was.

The last room at the end of the hall (and across from Kurt and Remy's room) turned out to be Rogue and Kitty's since they hadn't called any of the other rooms. Rogue was surprised to find that she actually liked it. The color in here was purple, making them say, "OOOO pretty!" at the exact same time.

Kitty chose a bed randomly and flopped down onto it to lie amongst the pile of pillows there.

"This is nice," she commented as her eyes slid shut.

Rogue agreed and sat down on the edge of her bed to find that it was very comfortable. It was a lot more comfortable than her bed at home. After sleeping on this all summer she didn't know how she was going to go back her lumpy mattress.

"Hey," Kitty muttered from her bed, eyes still closed. "Turn off that light…"

Yawning, Rogue stood up and turned out the light. She walked back over to her bed and curled up on the soft surface of the mattress. She wasn't going to sleep, she wasn't even that tired. And that's exactly what she kept telling herself as she slowly drifted off to sleep to the soft sounds of the ocean.

~X~

Something wasn't right.

That was the first thought that registered in Rogue's mind when she woke up. Something was off. This bed felt different and her clothes felt different and something about the room she was in was different from her room. Slowly opening her eyes, she immediately saw why everything felt this way. The memories of the day before came back to the forefront of her mind to tell her where she was.

They were in Professor X's beach house. Lying curled up on her side, Rogue took in a few things. The first thing being how bright the sunshine was and how hard it seemed to be fighting to get through the lilac curtains. The second thing she noticed was Kitty on the bed opposite hers, under the covers and lying on her stomach, still fast asleep. The third thing she took in was that she had fallen asleep by accident the night before, and therefore hadn't changed into any pajamas and was still wearing her clothes from the day before.

This proved to be a bad idea. Rogue felt as far from comfortable as she ever had and less than clean. She was in desperate need of a shower, she realized. It was warm and sweat had stained her clothes in the night, her eyes felt crusted with sleep, her ears needed a cleaning, and her hair closely resembled a rat's nest. So yawning and stretching quietly, Rogue stood and tiptoed out the door, closing it behind her with a soft click.

The house was very quiet, signaling that everyone was still asleep. Rogue took in her surroundings with sleepy eyes, realizing that the blue on the walls and hard wood floors looked different when the sun hit them than it had last night. The whole house looked different, she discovered, especially the kitchen. The colors were brighter and more prominent, and the tiles on the walls and the white wood of the cabinets glinted nicely in the sunshine.

And that's when she saw it. The ocean. It was there right in front of the house and looking beautiful without even meaning to. Rogue made her way onto the beach, enjoying the feel of her bare feet wiggling under the sand. The waves rolled up onto the beach in a continuous never-ending dance, the big expanse of blue stretched out big and wide in front of her, going on and on as far as she could see. A flock of seagulls flew overhead, all letting out the same screeching sounds at once. The air smelled and felt just as good as it had the night before, if not better. Aside from the seagulls and the ocean, it was very quiet here, being a private beach and all. It all felt foreign and strange to Rogue, who had lived near the city for so long. Out here there were no sounds of traffic far off, no car horns or revving engines, and with her team-mates still asleep, no yelling people.

Unfortunately, no matter how good the air smelled and no matter how beautiful the endless stretch of blue in front of her was, Rogue wasn't able to completely forget that she looked and smelled like she'd slept in a dumpster. And since she had no immediate desire to have anyone think she was a hobo, Rogue sighed and then made her way back up the beach and around to the side of the house where the car was parked on the cement driveway so that she could find her suitcase.

The hot water and soapy suds felt good on her grimy skin and head and so twenty minutes later, Rogue stepped out of the shower feeling a thousand times cleaner, refreshed and happy. She happily and meticulously brushed her teeth while wrapped in a fluffy white towel and standing in front of the mirror, enjoying the taste of minty toothpaste early in the morning.

Over the little noises she was making she could clearly hear the sound of someone in the kitchen. It sounded suspiciously like Kurt, who seemed to be opening the cabinets and the refrigerator and then groaning loudly.

Ten minutes later she was dressed and hair dried and she went out to find Kurt sitting on the couch and grumpily watching the TV. Sighing, Rogue dropped her suitcase next to the stairs and then went over to plop down next to him.

"What's with the cranky face?" she asked without taking her eyes off of the big screen in front of her. Nothing was on at the moment, just a commercial that Kurt was watching intently. This was probably because it was a syrup commercial, and the camera was zooming up on a stack of ten pancakes while an unseen someone slowly poured the syrup onto it.

"Hungry," he grunted and when she glanced over at him, Rogue could have sworn she saw a little bit of drool.

"There's nothin in the kitchen?" she asked, though she already knew the answer.

"There's water," he said, "and lots of pots and pans."

"Oh good, we'll have some boiled water for breakfast then."

"I guess so," he said sadly. "I'm so hungry."

"You're always hungry," she pointed out just as a commercial for flea medication came on.

"So," Kurt said defensively. "I'm a growing boy. I mean: man."

"If you're a man you're already grown." She told him with a grin. "If you're still growin' then you must be a boy."

"Shut-up."

"You shut-up!"

"No, you shut-up!"

"No! You!"

"You!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Wait, what are we arguing about?" Kurt scratched his head in confusion.

"I've got no idea." Rogue shrugged. "Um…I think you were sayin that you're a butthead."

"Nice."

"I know."

It was at that moment that Remy walked in through the front door. In one hand he held the car keys, and the other two large, white paper bags stuffed full of-

"Got some biscuits!" He called cheerfully.

Rogue and Kurt just turned their heads to scrutinize him. Rogue was too lazy to get up and just go get a biscuit. Kurt on the other hand, sniffed at the air like a person would when they smelled something foul and said accusingly, "You went out and you didn't get me any pancakes?"

Remy shot him a curiously worried look as he came over to sit on one of the armchairs. "What's with you and the sudden fascination with pancakes?"

"I've always liked pancakes," Kurt argued and despite his preference for pancakes, leaned over and snatched one of the bags that Remy had set on the table. After handing one paper wrapped biscuit to Rogue, he pulled one out for Remy and then one for himself.

"I got orange juice, too." Remy said happily and pulled out two little cartons from the other bag for Rogue and Kurt.

"Mm," Rogue breathed in the scent of her food as she unwrapped it. "You got chicken biscuits!"

Kurt muttered something about pancakes.

"Hey," Rogue said slowly before she took her first bite. "Didn't the professor say somethin about not eating anywhere other than the kitchen or the dining room?"

Both guys stopped and seemed to contemplate this before Remy shrugged.

"I think its fine…Just as long as no one tells Scott."

This was true.

So they resumed eating, silently watching the commercials go by on the TV. And then the program came back on. The program that turned out to be Barney. The big purple dinosaur.

Rogue nearly choked on her food. After taking a huge swig of orange juice, she turned horrified, yet amused eyes on Kurt.

"You were watchin Barney?" She gasped. "Oh my God!" She grinned and turned to Remy while pointing at Kurt. "Remy, Kurt was watchin Barney!"

Remy just quirked an eyebrow.

"No I'm not!" Kurt shouted defensively. "I just turned on the TV when you came in! I didn't know that was on! Don't look at me like that; I wasn't watching Barney!"

It was too late now, Remy and Rogue were both convinced that Kurt had indeed, been watching Barney.

"Biscuit eating butt trumpets," Kurt grumbled as he snatched up the remote and turned the channel.

Rogue giggled, Remy cleared his throat, and Kurt continued to grumble while flipping through the channels. They were thinking their separate things (Rogue was thinking about how good her biscuit was, Remy was thinking that today should be the day for diabolical plans to start, and Kurt was hoping that no one would see through his façade and find out that he really had been watching Barney) but they all froze at the same time when they heard Scott and Jean's voices at the top of the stairs.

One moment they were all sitting down and after sharing an unspoken agreement with just their wide eyes, they all shot to their feet at the same time, scrambling to get all of the food and drinks together and bring it as quickly as they could over to the kitchen. Kurt tripped three times, Rogue tried to keep her hysterical laughter to a minimum (but failed every time Kurt tripped), and Remy was the only calm one, picking up his food and one of the bags and quietly walking over to the kitchen and setting them down on the tiled island.

By the time Jean and Scott emerged from the stairs, looking at them suspiciously, Rogue, Kurt, and Remy were the picture of innocence, all sitting normally around the island on white stools and chewing on their biscuits.

"What did you do?" Jean looked around at them with a raised eyebrow.

"Whatcha mean, Jeany?" Rogue asked with a pair of big eyes.

"Why was everyone running around in here and laughing?" she asked.

"Oh," Rogue waved a hand at her. "That was nothin. Want a biscuit? And some orange juice? Your hair looks great today, by the way. What kind of conditioner do you use? Hey Scott, how's the ankle? Did you guys sleep well in the same bedroom?"

Jean turned red. "We didn't do anything!"

"What are you talkin about?" Rogue asked as though she really had no idea.

"Um…" Jean turned a touch redder. "Nothing, nothing! Did you say something about biscuits?"

"And orange juice!" Remy offered brightly.

"Right," Jean said quickly and sat in another stool. Scott, limping slightly, found the stool next to her and they resumed eating in silence.

Smirking lightly, Remy glanced over at Rogue who shared a wink with him. This was one of the things he loved about her. The fact that she could utterly confuse someone until they forgot about what they were thinking about in the first place. That was actually a trait that she had picked up from him, (being the victim many times) but he still loved when she did it.

"Alright team," Scott said seriously ten minutes later when they had finished eating and still sat around the island on the stools. "Wait…where is the rest of the team?"

No one answered.

"Ok," Scott continued with a little shake of his head. "There are several things we need to do before we get started on the mission. Remy, Rogue, I want you two to find the nearest supermarket and stock up on everything we need." He reached into his pocket. "Here is the Professor's card."

Both of their eyes brightened and unconsciously they leaned forward. Looking a little worried, Scott looked back and forth between them, silently trying to figure out which one looked more trustworthy.

"Rogue, you hang on to it!" He decided and he passed the card to Rogue. "While you two do that, Kurt, I want you and Jean to get a lay of the land. Figure out if we need to get another car. I'll stay here and call the Professor to let him know we got here all right. Then I'll call this guy and set up a meeting with him."

"What's his name again?" Kurt asked, not able to remember ever hearing it.

Scott's brow creased. "Um…I'll figure it out."

"Right, well, we better get going," Remy stood up with Rogue and both of them looked eager.

"DON'T over spend!" Scott called after them as they ran out the door.

To Be Continued...