AN: Thank you everyone for reading and reviewing - you guys are amazing. Hope everyone is doing well.

Take care and enjoy.

CHAPTER 41

CATHERINE POV

"And I thought my case was bad…"

Sara looks up, her expression half grimace and half eye roll.

"Grissom thinks this is funny."

"Making you sift through what looks like animal feces?"

"Not looks like…"

My eyes widen the same time I shudder.

"Someone should really speak with that man," I suggest. "The things he finds appropriate for the sake of 'scientific advancement' is really off base."

Sara smiles slightly, and I'm glad to at least have brightened her previously dark expression – even if just slightly. We've both been working hard these past two weeks, fielding multiple cases – some together, most apart.

"Is this even relevant to your case?" I ask curiously, gesturing to the multiple labeled tubes and samples spread out in front of her.

"Not really," Sara shakes her head, affirming my fears. "The only potentially relevant one was sent for processing hours ago. These are so we can learn about the 'current evolutionary stage of these rare species found in remote desert locations'."

"Seriously?"

Sara's expression gives me my answer.

"Yikes," I breathe out, still keeping a fair distance from the questionable samples. "That seems like a waste of your time when you don't have much of it to begin with."

"Yeah, well apparently we shouldn't miss this rare opportunity to document the current chemical compositions of these…samples…in case we run into another case in the same area. Can serve as a recent, baseline reference value."

"And if they never end up needing to be used?" I pose.

Sara sends me a look, "Then I just spent my morning sifting through shit for no reason whatsoever."

I shake my head slowly, "Oh my."

Straightening up, Sara tosses her gloves in the trash bin next to the layout table.

"I'm pretty much finished," she says, glancing over all the freshly labeled tubes in front of her. "Did you need anything?"

"Actually," I say, stepping slightly closer now that all the 'specimens' have been safely sealed away. "I saw on the schedule this morning that we both have tomorrow off?"

Sara hesitates a moment, and I know she likely was planning to come in, even on her day off. The woman works more than she sleeps, perhaps even breathes.

Eventually, she just nods, looking up at me.

"I was wondering if you wanted to spend the day with Lindsey and I."

At this, Sara goes still, her eyes remaining on mine as they widen slightly.

"Oh…"

"If you don't want to…"

"No," Sara immediately cuts it. "No, God, that's not…"

Taking a deep breath, she stands to her full height. "I'd love to, really. You have no idea how much I'd love that. It's just…" she searches my gaze. "Are you sure?"

I see the uncertainty in her expression, the parts of her that are questioning whether we're ready for this. It's a huge step forward, and she recognizes that at much as anyone.

It's almost been a month now since we started officially 'dating' and getting to know one another. For the last couple weeks we've been spending any available free time together, often stopping for dinner after shifts, grabbing coffee early in the morning, spending evenings when Lindsey is away watching movies together on the couch – holding each other close until someone, usually me, eventually falls asleep.

It's been wonderful, and the time we've spent together has only deepened my feelings for this woman in front of me. There's nothing making me hesitate regarding taking this next step. On the contrary, I've only fallen harder for her, and I'm finding myself anxious to take this further. To finally move forward and truly be together.

"I'm sure," I tell her sincerely, letting her see for herself just how sure I am.

Eyes still searching mine, she nods, "Okay, if you're positive…"

"Sara." I fix her with a look. "I'm sure."

Finally seeming to trust what I'm saying, she nods, "Okay."

"Okay," I breathe out in relief. "I was thinking maybe a museum or something? Seeing as how the majority of us in attendance will be nerds who would enjoy something like that."

Sara snorts, "Did you just call me a nerd?"

"Yup, and Lindsey."

Smiling, I reach out, running my fingers along her arm until I squeeze her hand in mine. "It's definitely not a bad thing."

Cheeks flushing slightly, Sara chances a step closer, our bodies now toeing the line between professional distance and personal.

"Noted."

Getting serious before I lose all control with her standing this close to me, I look up at her hazel gaze.

"I was thinking though….that maybe we should also ask Kelly."

It's only because she's standing so close that I note the slight stiffening to Sara's posture. Her eyes leave mine, now studying the edge of the table.

"Oh," she says, trying to sound casual about it. "Yeah, sure."

"Sara."

Reaching over, I place my hand along her hip, resting it there.

"Sara look at me."

When she finally brings her gaze back up to mine, I shake my head at the self-doubt I see her holding there.

"You didn't misread my intentions," I assure her. "This is for you and Lindsey to get to know one another because I want to move forward with you. And, before I make that final step I want to be sure you and Lindsey are in a good place."

I see her listening, staying quiet as she hears me out.

"But, Lindsey will know something's up if it's just the two of us. I think for this first time it's better to pose this as an outing with mom and two of her friends. Lindsey needs to get to know you first in that setting before I feel comfortable telling her that you're actually something more."

Running my thumb along the prominence of her hip, I keep my gaze steady.

"Something much more."

I know Sara has a tendency to doubt herself sometimes, to trust that she's valued and cherished by people the way they claim she is. I want her to know that inviting Kelly has nothing to do with me having doubts about her. Actually the opposite. I think Sara and I have so much potential going forward, and so I want to do this right. I can't tip my hand with my daughter quite yet.

Not on their first meeting.

"Okay," Sara's quiet voice cuts into my thoughts.

I look her over. "Really?" I question, not wanting her to censor herself around me. "You're really okay with it?"

Sara nods, "I get why you're doing it, and I agree. Lindsey needs to get to know me, and I need to get to know her. But that's going to be much harder if she already knows I'm…"

"Dating her mother."

Sara blushes slightly, "Yes."

I know Sara understands my motivations, and I know from her expression that she does ultimately agree with them. But, it's still asking a lot of the brunette.

"I'm sorry to make the already stressful day even more stressful for you," I offer, knowing Lindsey would have been nerve wracking enough. Now it's Lindsey and Kelly, whom Sara has still been on shaky ground with for a while now.

"It's fine," Sara assures me, placing her hand over mine where it still rests on her hip.

"You sure?" I question, eyes on hers.

"I'm sure," she affirms, squeezing my hand in hers. "I'm excited and honored to get to know your daughter, Catherine. Everything else is irrelevant."

Seeing the sincerity in her expression, I realize for what has to be the thousandth time, just how blessed I am to have Sara in my life. To be pursuing something this wonderful, this fulfilling, with someone this caring. She's everything I'd thought only existed in fairy tales and romance novels.

"Where did you come from?" I question quietly, shaking my head at her.

Furrowing her brows, Sara looks concerned, "Did they not teach sex education in Montana?"

Smacking her arm, I laugh, the tension between us leaving.

"You're a doofus," I inform her.

"Thought I was a nerd."

Smiling, I reach up, placing a chaste kiss along her cheek.

"You're allowed to be both."

As I pull back, we exchange a smile, giving our joined hands one last squeeze before we separate to distances much more appropriate for the workplace.

"I'll see you around?" I question, making my way to the door.

Sara nods, her smile still ghosting along her lips, "See you around."

"You okay?" I catch sight of Sara, entering through the main doors of the museum. It only took one glance at her to note how pale she is.

"Yeah," Sara assures me, nodding as she glances around me to spot Kelly and Lindsey already exploring one of the nearby exhibits.

"Sara."

Looking over at me, she seems to finally take in my concerned expression.

Letting out a long breath, she reaches over, briefly taking my hand.

"I'm fine, Cath, I promise."

Squeezing her hand back, I let them drop to our sides, deciding to let it go for now.

"Hey," I call her attention back to me before we join the others.

When her eyes meet mine, I send her a small smile.

"You're going to be fine," I assure her. "You don't have to be nervous. Lindsey's going to love you."

Watching me, Sara nods slowly before taking a steadying breath, swallowing tightly as she separates from me, moving to join the others.

"You think we should intervene?" Kelly questions, taking a few swallows from the water bottles we just grabbed from the gift shop a few minutes earlier.

Looking over at where Lindsey is very adamantly arguing something with Sara, I shake my head.

"They're okay."

Their backs are to us, Sara squatting down to Lindsey's height as they both look into a glass box holding a model of the arrangements of the Earth's early continents. Pangea, if I remember correctly from our last visit.

Sara listens to Lindsey's passionate statements, watching my daughter as Lindsey gestures emphatically. We're too far away to hear what's being said, but it's clear that they're both very invested in this particular discussion.

When Lindsey finishes, Sara gestures towards something in front of them, giving her own thoughts on whatever matter it is that seems to be getting debated between them.

"How are things?" Kelly asks, watching them alongside me. "With Sara."

"Good," I answer honestly. "Very good."

"You two…?"

"No," I answer her unspoken question. "I'm sticking to my plan on this one. Though, to be honest," I state, looking over at the beautiful woman across the room from us, "it's been torture holding back."

Kelly nods with a small, knowing smile.

Even today, dressed casually in jeans and a light grey sweater, old soccer style pumas on her feet, Sara looks amazing. It's hard to fathom how someone can just simply emanate so much beauty so effortlessly, just naturally stunning. Not to mention how squatting down like she is now only emphasizes her gracefully long legs tucked beneath her – not even mentioning the sliver of tanned skin exposed along her lean back where her sweater is riding up slightly from her jeans.

Clearing my throat, I shake my head.

"Torture," I simply reemphasize.

Laughing slightly, Kelly gives my shoulder a supportive squeeze.

"Let me know if you need me to take Linds on a weekend camping trip sometime soon…"

Smiling at this, at the unspoken insinuation it holds, I nod. "I will." Then, glancing over at our companions, my smile falters a bit. "But first they need to survive today."

Seeing the continued 'discussion' having only escalated, my heart starts to clench uncomfortably. All this time, I never gave a single thought to what I would do if Sara and Lindsey don't hit it off. It's not a guarantee that Lindsey would like Sara. In fact, my daughter has an uncomfortably high number of people that she clearly would rather not spend time with. She's at that age where she's brutally honest, and she isn't going to sugarcoat it if she doesn't enjoy your company.

"Should we be worried?" Kelly asks, her own brows furrowing in concern as she takes in the animated gestures coming from the still stationary duo.

"I'm honestly not sure," I answer, my heartrate starting to pick up as my brain begins unhelpfully providing multiple thoughts of misgiving.

Please don't let this be happening.

"You okay?" Kelly asks as she approaches, looking back briefly to be sure that Lindsey is still happily listening to the demonstration being given by one of the museum volunteers.

Sara glances up, eyes barely meeting Kelly's as she nods.

"You sure?" Kelly questions, expression concerned. Gaze shifting between Sara and I, she offers, "Do you guys want some privacy to talk?"

"No," Sara answers quickly.

Too quickly.

Perhaps realizing her own tone, she straightens up, taking a steadying breath. "No, Kelly. Stay. I'm going to go get some water."

Raising a brow, Kelly watches Sara's retreat, expression growing even more worried as we both follow the brunette until she disappears around the corner.

"What…" Looking back over at me, Kelly shakes her head. "Did she say what happened? What they were arguing about before?"

"No," I shake my own head. "She's barely said two words to me."

Kelly takes this in, "Linds didn't say much either. Just a few choice comments that were slightly too rude to be repeated."

I grimace, "Shit."

"How did this happen?" I question after a few more moments of tense silence. "How was I so sure that they would immediately adore one another that I didn't even account for this possibility?"

"You anticipated what you wanted to happen," Kelly supplies gently. "You love both Lindsey and Sara, so you automatically assumed they would love each other."

I note Kelly's use of the L word. The one that I know is, in fact, how I feel about Sara. No matter how much it scares me to hear it said aloud, to admit it to myself.

"What do I do?" I pose desperately, clearly at a loss as my mind is still numbly trying to acknowledge what's happening. Acknowledge the disaster this day has become, let alone how to deal with it.

"I don't know," Kelly answers quietly after a few minutes, her own voice sounding pained.

While Kelly and Sara have their own history, I know she ultimately wants me to be happy. Sara and I both to be happy.

"She's been gone a while," I state after a few more moments of silence and no sign of Sara.

Kelly nods, "Why don't you let me go speak with her."

I glance up, eyes narrowed, "You sure that's a good idea?"

"Sara and I are still working through things, yes, but we're in a much better place than we were," my friend tells me. "And I think right now she maybe needs to speak with someone other than…"

"Other than me."

Kelly nods, eyes warm as she tries to soften the message.

But, it's a message that I have to agree with.

Seeing my expression, Kelly gives me a supportive look, straightening up as she heads off.

"Kelly."

Turning, she faces me.

"Take care of her. Please."

Kelly gives me a nod, promising without words to do just that.

KELLY POV

"Hey."

Sara spins, clearly not having heard my approach.

"Hey, easy," I call, noting just how tense she is, her back ramrod straight as she stands against the railing of the outside observation deck she's retreated to, the wooden deck overlooking the conserved plants and animals the museum cares for.

"What are you doing out here?" Sara asks me. "Shouldn't you be inside?"

"I'm out here because I was worried about you."

"I'm fine," Sara states predictably. "You should be with Catherine and Lindsey."

"Stop." Moving up in front of Sara, I shake my head. "You're not going to push me away, not now. So let's not waste our time."

"Kelly."

"I'm serious," I retort tightly. "You and I have our complications. But right now I'm here, for you, as a friend, Sara."

"Why?"

"For fucks sake, Sara," I get out. "I care about you. And I thought we ended our last conversation with agreement to try to be friends. Or was I hallucinating all of that?"

Tightening her jaw, Sara rubs her temples. When she pulls her hand down, I note that it's trembling.

"What happened?" I ask her, voice much softer this time around. "Between you and Lindsey?"

Sara's head lowers, her expression darkening even further.

"Sara."

Swallowing, Sara stiffens.

"She hates me," she gets out. "That's what happened."

"I'm sure she doesn't hate you," I counter, all the while knowing how blunt children can be sometimes. Lindsey included. "Tell me what happened."

"We," Sara sighs in frustration, her arm gesturing out to the side. "We were talking about the exhibit, and then we just started arguing."

Sara shakes her head, pacing slightly along the railing.

"For God's sake I was arguing with a 5 year old," she gets out. "What the fuck is wrong with me?"

"Hey," I reach out, trying to put myself in her path. "Calm down."

"Seriously?" Sara questions, dark brow raised in anger. "I just watched Catherine's complete devastation in there because I'm too much of an idiot to be able to get along with a 5 year old child. Her child. And you want me to calm down?"

I note her tone, her posture, everything that's telling me to back off. But, I also know Catherine's insistence that Sara's bark is worse than her bite.

I guess now is a good a time as any to test that theory.

"Yes, Sara," I state just as sternly. "I want you to calm the fuck down."

When she shakes her head and starts to turn away, I grab her not so gently by the shirt and pull her back around.

"You're not walking away from me. From this."

"Let go of me."

"Not until you stop acting like an idiot."

"Kelly," she growls out. "Let. Go. Of. Me."

I stand my ground, keeping my grip firm, our bodies mere inches apart as we stare each other down.

When it becomes clear that I'm not releasing her, Sara's body tenses uncomfortably, her head angling to the side as she tries to create space between us the only way she can. But, her hands remain in tight fists along her side, never once raising towards me, never once getting aggressive back.

"I'm not letting you walk out of here without talking this through," I offer, my own tone tempering slightly. "You can't keep closing yourself off and shutting down when things become too much. Not when you're in a relationship with someone who's counting on you not to."

Sara lets out a dark, low laugh at this.

"I'm not so sure I'm in a relationship anymore."

"Sara," I shake my head. "You need to stop assuming the worst about this. Catherine isn't going to turn her back on you just because you had a rough start with her daughter."

"She made it clear that she's only okay with this relationship if Lindsey's on board. And," Sara shakes her head. "Lindsey's clearly not on board."

Watching Sara, seeing the dark shadows creeping across her expression, I feel my heart start to sink in understanding. Start to sink when I register her specific choice of words. What she's actually saying.

"Lindsey knows you and Cath are dating."

Sara swallows tightly, "I don't know how, but yes, she knows."

"Did she…?"

"Say anything?" Sara shakes her head. "No, but she knows. It was pretty clear from the first moment we were alone."

And, suddenly, things start to make sense. I know Lindsey. The girl's brilliant, and often is much more aware of what's going on around her than people give her credit for at her age. And, what's more, is she's creative. She knows the best way to break up her mother and Sara is to hate Sara before she even gets to know her.

She probably fought against Sara about every single thing she could, whether or not she actually agreed with the brunette. Whether or not she actually would've liked spending time with the young CSI.

Sara's chances were sunk before she even got an opportunity to try.

"I never should've…" Sara shakes her head darkly. "Before I even realized what Lindsey was doing…I let her get to me…what the hell is wrong with me…"

Sara's beating herself up, hating that she allowed herself to be goaded into all those disagreements with Lindsey when it was pretty much Lindsey's plan all along.

"I should've just walked away…or something," Sara reaches out, hitting the railing angrily with her fist. "I never should've just continued trying to reason with her. I was…arguing...with a 5 year old girl. I was arguing with Catherine's daughter. What the hell kind of person am I?"

Hitting the railing again, I grimace at the solid thump her fist makes against the wood.

"Stop," I reach out, moving one hand from her sweater towards her arm.

Before I can reach it, however, she moves to do it again.

"Stop!"

This time I push her back, both hands returning immediately to grip her sweater as I push her forcefully away from the railing, out of reach of anything solid.

"Jesus, Sara, stop it. You're hurting yourself."

Head lowering, Sara swallows tightly, her hand reaching up towards her temples again - this time the trembling is even worse.

"I fucked it up, Kelly," Sara gets out.

Letting out a shaking breath of my own, I lower my own gaze, feeling some of my aggression leaving me – both of us seeming to slowly shift from anger to the much harder to stomach aftermath.

"She dislikes me because I'm dating her mom, but that's not the real issue," Sara reveals quietly after a few silent moments, voice heavy under the weight of her confession, the weight of perhaps what's bothering her most. "Even if she didn't know any of that, she still would've hated me because I don't know the first thing about how to talk to children. How to be around children. I had no clue what to say to her, how to talk to her. I was so lost, completely out of my depth."

Sara's voice is strained, nearly breaking under the emotion there.

"I was kidding myself thinking I'd be capable of doing this. Capable of being the type of person that beautiful little girl deserves."

"Hey," I call out. "Stop, Sara. You can't think like that."

"Why?" Sara shrugs, the gesture so defeated that it makes my heart clench. "You of all people know just how messed up my own childhood was. How the hell could I think I'd know anything about being around someone else's child? I don't know the first thing about children. Especially normal children with normal childhoods."

Sara's gaze is heavy, her shoulders now giving up all struggle against my grip, simply standing submissively in defeat.

"Lindsey deserves someone who knows how to be there for her, how to talk with her, play with her, teach her. She doesn't need someone like me who literally panicked when I was left alone with her, who completely froze up because I didn't know what to do. Someone who only managed to argue with her."

Sara's body flinches, "Someone whose only examples of interactions with children are from the fucking foster care system."

Sara shakes her head darkly.

"Today showed me what I should've already known."

"Sara…"

When she looks up at me, her expression is so devastated, so shattered that it takes everything in me not to shatter myself.

"Please don't do what I think you're about to," I beg.

Sara's eyes impossibly only sadden further.

"Tell Catherine I'm sorry," she gets out, voice breaking. "I'm so sorry."

"Sara-"

Before I can finish, Sara pushes away from me, my grip loosened just enough for her to stumble away from my grasp.

Stepping to the door, Sara offers me one last glance.

"Thanks for trying," she offers. "I'm sorry."

With that, she's gone.

AN: Oh my, that didn't go so well. Thanks for reading. And, a shout out to jprsauve for unknowingly predicting in your review where this chapter was already fated to end up - you and I were on the same page. I seem to have a thing against too many consecutive chapters with happiness in my stories. Sorry. :/