Everything in front of Simone's eyes and in her heart was so clear and felt so painful. She could visualise the end of term party at St Theresa's so well and it had started so miserably. She was coming in her capacity of teacher to her class who had worked so well, consort to Michael, a teacher at St Paul's High School and as one of the teaching staff, headed by the Mother Immaculata. As she stood there in her white lace dress, she couldn't believe the way that her boyfriend, Michael had done his usual face saving routine in inviting her out onto the dance floor as an example to all the would be couples. All the schoolgirls in all their finery had sat on the benches and the schoolboys, all gauche and awkward had stuck to the safety of their gang while eyeing the alien beauty of the girls out there on display. She'd compromised as she always had done, to keep the peace and had pretended to smile as his hand rested on her waist even though she felt like crawling out of her skin. Then she felt the full intensity of Annabelle's gaze resting on her as she suddenly emerged out of nowhere and innappropriate desires rose up in her and churn around with her resolution to hold back from each other for both their sakes.
After the group had taken their break, Annabelle had reappeared with her guitar round her neck and talked rapidly to the fair haired guy, Catherine's brother who led the group with electric guitar, bass and drums. She started to sing and play the song and all at once Simone's being was grabbed by this beautiful voice with a trace of husky shadings in it which knocked her sideways. More to the point, her song saw right through Simone as she always had, right from the beginning, through her confusions and it wasn't just was a plea for their love but an honest mature expression of such a protective minded woman, something that met her profound needs. Least of all right now, Annabelle was no flighty adolescent. Yet all the time, she was stuck there in her own self-imposed suit of armour which made her scream out inside to throw it off and just be herself.
"In the space between what's wrong and right
you will find me waiting for you
All your fortresses go down in the night
To the dawn I'll see you through
Cause I know, that you know
you're all over me now
And it's clear it will show
Your curtains will close
And if your heart is cold
My sheets are warm
I will shelter you from the storm."
I will shelter you all through the storm."
The clear tones of her bell like guitar, her gorgeous singing and the incredible intensity of her love filled her with pain and hopeless longing at the same time. Tears started to run down her face amongst all the party sounds and false conviviality. She turned away from everything, from security, from her teaching which had been her vocation, the one thing that she had loved while around her was cold and without meaning. The sound of the music faded away into nothing.
Suddenly, a solitary guitar started playing softly again, without the soft electric phrases backing it, the light tap tap of the drums and gentle pressure of the bass. The finger picking pattern of notes made up a different song with that exactly same enchanting voice but this time the song was strangely familiar. Simone tried to figure out what was going on and became gradually aware that there is no other competing sounds, no party, no thunderstorm outside, no Michael, no Mother Immaculata, nothing but the gentle guitar sounds and soft singing. She realises that she needs to open half an eyelid to get her bearings and she gradually became aware that she was naked, lying on her side underneath the snow white duvet and that she is in her own home. The quilt the other side of the bed is disturbed and empty and Simone thinks she knows the answer.
"Hey Annabelle," she calls out sleepily, her voice failing to achieve that normal clarity of sound she's used to. She sounds like she's smoked a packet of cigarettes the night before and her lungs sound nicotine roughened, she thought to herself.
The circular pattern of music stops and a light pattering of sounds marked the approach of her barefoot lover. Still holding her guitar in her hand, the glorious sight of Annabelle's naked curves emerged through the door. Simone couldn't take her eyes off the centre of her desires. A broad lazy smile spread across her face as she stretched full length and stretched out her arms, to fold them behind the back of her head. This was the life, she thought.
As Annabelle laid aside her guitar,she inclined her head on her side and an impish little smile showed how she'd read her lover's impure thoughts.
"Guess you really love looking at my crotch," she said in her laziest tones.
"I should do as I know it pretty well by now," Simone retorted pertly, folding back a portion of their quilt to display some of her own charms."Why don't you come back into bed with me?"
A laughing Annabelle ran the short distance to their bed and slid alongside Simone. She loved the way their bodies fitted so intimately together so easily and, this time, it was Simone's turn to sweep aside their duvet, lay her lover on her back and make sultry passionate love to her. When both of them had climaxed with a glorious feeling of physical fulfillment, morning sunbeams peeped round the corner of their world and smiled at their interlocked bodies as they dozed off asleep until they were ready to face the day.
"So how come you were playing the guitar so early in the morning?" Simone enquired politely out of interest, leaning on her elbow.
"That music you played me was so inspiring," Annabelle replied so excitedly, a glow of inspiration spread across her face while she lay on her side."You're so great at laying good poetry on me but Tori Amos started also making me think about chord changes, musical arrangements. I know I have to reduce all her little musical tricks down to just my guitar but I woke up at six in the morning with ideas buzzing around in my head. Don't get me wrong I really love lying in bed with you but I was really, really itching to try out the ideas in my head and see if they worked out. You do understand me?"
What could the tired but happy woman say to Annabelle's touchingly eager enthusiasm especially as she was feeling sexually replete with the taste of the younger woman's intimate areas on her tongue? Besides, she was highly receptive to the idea of artistic inspiration and really touched that this woman of hers loved her music like this. For Annabelle to be inspired to deploy her musicianly talents to learn how to play a song that Simone loved was a terrific compliment to her. Tears of joy prickled in her eyes as she gently and lovingly kissed Annabelle and drew her down next to her.
It wasn't until a little while later when they'd got dressed and drank a mug full of hot steaming coffee when Simone couldn't help but verbalise her feelings.
"Do you know, I've had the happiest time in my life these last few days. My life's been completely turned around."
"I'm as sure as hell grateful I decided to drive out here. I really didn't know what I'd be stepping into. I'm really glad I've found out. This is home to me. I really, really love you,"Annabelle replied in her unique way as as her wisecracking mode of speaking melted into unabashed sentiment.
Everything went still as they gazed into each other's eyes seeing what they most loved in the reflection of the other. It took Annabelle by surprise when Simone suddenly veered the conversation right off course.
"I know. Let's go food shopping. We're down on food."
"Do you know, if my mother had suggested it, I'd have felt like throwing up?"Annabelle laughed without a trace of malice in her voice. She had pictured the absurdity of that elegant woman, wearing her blue trouser suit, high heels, every tinted blonde hair immaculately in its sculptured place and then imagined her wrestling with a shopping trolley and waiting patiently at the checkout, while her important schedules were relentlessly piling up.
"So is that a problem? I mean we can't spend days of sea, sunshine, walking along the beach, listening to music and the most glorious sex I've ever had in my life without being just a little bit practical," Simone observed in her mischievous way. Annabelle shook here head and laughed at the endearing way her lover stacked up the order of events, leaving what was the most important to them both right to the last.
"No it is definitely not a problem. Living with you has certainly made me more domesticated,"the dark-haired woman said dreamily.
They looked through the virtually empty fridge freezer together to check out what they'd got and resolved on a full stock up. The dark-haired woman looked idly on as Simone got out her laptop and carefully check out her account on the Bank of America website. It seemed the prudent thing to do as did the way she threw in her ideas for the shopping list. She hung around as Simone locked the front door and they made their way up the long flight of steps right up to the roadside. There at the roadside was her silver grey convertible car, appearing magically out of nowhere.
"There's my car. I never thought I'd see that again," Simone breathed with a sigh of pleasure. She'd been driven here by the Mother Immaculata and coldly deposited along with all her belongings after she'd been released without a word spoken and had never thought further. Jagged pieces had been torn out of her memory and the wonders of her present life with Annabelle had not inclined to reminisce over darker episodes in her life.
Smiling, Annabelle produced the car keys from her holdall and dangled them in front of her.
"How did you get the car keys? Are you qualified to drive?" stumbled the fair-haired woman, trying to get a grip on the chronology of events.
"Sure I can. I found the car keys in your room right after you were arrested. I took my driving test the week after I left St Theresa's. I persuaded Cat's brother- he's the singer in the band- to drop me back at the college and I walked into the school and saw your car and just took it. I saw the Mother Immaculata stare at me as I walked up to the school, glared at her and just drove off in the car."
"Then in that case, I'll do you a deal. I so much want to drive this little beauty to the supermarket but you can drive us back. How about that?"
"I'd so love that darling,"Annabelle said, grabbing her lover and giving her a big hug and kicking both heels off the ground behind her. Simone braced herself as she felt her lover's weight but her heart felt as if it was flying free, full of admiration for Annabelle's headstrong daring.
The fair haired woman eased herself back into the comfortable seat and familiarised herself both with the controls and the necessary mindset. She exchanged broad smiles at the excited woman next to her and knew that when both of them sat in the car, it was at a time when Annabelle was making tentative moves around their budding relationship where she was still in denial about it. She turned the key in the ignition and the rather neglected car sped off down the road, the wing blowing their hair all around them. This was the life, they thought once again, as Simone retraced her rather rusty skills in local geography. The streets of that sedate suburb passed by in apparent slow motion, everywhere quiet and deserted at this hour for reasons why Annabelle couldn't work out. Finally, the car swung into the universally spacious car park where, evening in mid morning, they had to search out a convenient space.
Simone pushed the trolley into the foyer, supposing that the supermarket was a conveniently anonymous place to be. It did cross her mind that, here she was, with another woman at her side but surely it was no big deal. Annabelle held at the list written out in the older woman's neat literate handwriting knowing that her own handiwork was a bit of a scrawl and Simone's script was more restful on her eyes. She smiled at herself knowing that she'd made sure that her own bids were secured, partly due to her lover's easy-going nature, freed from the necessity to play teacher. She looked at the endless aisles of food they passed and wondered, Jesus, why is there such a necessity to have so many brands of sauces?
"We've got to have maple syrup. That's my very favourite," pleaded Annabelle, inching a few improvisations on the list as they went along.
"Your fourth very much favourite?" joked Simone, throwing her a brilliant smile of appreciation."All right, stick it in the cart."
She had turned her head towards Annabelle and carried on walking and didn't notice that the teenager ahead of her with thick brown hair who was talking endlessly in a constant stream to an older woman who soaked everything up without responding.
"Ow. Hey dude, watch where you're driving,"the voice suddenly said in an ugly kind of way before the teenager turned round, scowled and stuck in the verbal knife."Oh, it's you Annabelle. Good morning, Miss Bradley, fancy meeting you here."
"It's no big deal, Catherine. You're out shopping together and so are we," Simone said in her coolest, most unruffled fashion in a way that drew Annabelle's intense admiration.
"Are you two together, I mean as in together together,"Catherine said nastily. Both women took in the other woman with her and she was so clearly a carbon copy in terms of looks and personality. Her glare of disapproval was exactly the same as the junior version. It had a curiously calming effect on Simone while Annabelle became coldly contemptuous.
"You are so ungrammatical Catherine. Haven't you ever learned anything in English?"Annabelle retorted in a very superior fashion. She knew that she sounded really shitty but she reasoned that there were some assholes around who deserved everything they got and didn't deserve consideration. She intercepted Simone's sidelong glance of approval and that was good enough for her.
"I read about you two in the papers. I suppose you're going to tell me you're innocent. You're a couple of goddamn perverts. You shouldn't be allowed to teach for a living."
If there was anything in this world that inflamed Annabelle more than anything else, it was hypocricy. Catherine had the knack of pressing her buttons anyway with her bullying ways and the way that she had kept on needling her all through the last summer term about 'was anything going on with her and Miss Bradley?' The combination of Catherine and the self righteous, censorious Middle American woman living off her addict husband, drumming with 'The Weary' band caused her to deliver a series of short, sharp verbal punches that were designed to verbally kill.
"How's your father, Cat? Is he still in rehab? Do you still get your dad in rehab to send you out any more pot? Have you found any other girls than me to kiss as part of your science experiment?.Oh sorry, I forgot I wasn't supposed to kiss and tell."
"You know, Catherine, the eighth deadly skin is hypocricy, not lesbianism,"quickly interjected Simone with perfect cool and with no attempt to speak quietly in case the neighbours might here. Annabelle's heart rejoiced as she loved this incredibly brave woman of hers. She longed to embrace Simone in the middle of the supermarket but even she thought it was going too far.
"Come on, Catherine. I want to get the shopping done. I'm in a hurry," Catherine's mother said, giving them one last glare and turning away from them. Simone stood, her hands on her hips, breathing in and out rapidly, watching as their enemies slunk off. She caught sight of her lover, her eyes shining like stars and gave her hand a quick squeeze. The monotonous workaday sounds of the supermarket faded into insignificance.
"Make that two maple syrups Annabelle," she said nonchalantly with a little grin on her face and the younger woman darted away with an expression of starry-eyed admiration on her face.