Chapter Four
"Run!"
They dashed around the corner to the left and made an immediate right down a round tunnel, the Doctor pushing himself past Angel to the lead.
Fives steps down the tunnel, the Doctor wrenched open a door to their right and pulled Angel through it into a room that looked like it belong to a teenage girl from the '60s, rapidly followed by Rory and Amy. He slammed the door behind them and leaned against it. "Amy, Rory? Alright?"
"We need to keep moving," Angel said. The door was decorated with a Beatles poster, but Angel pressed his ear to the door anyway to listen for the Master, ignoring the crinkling of the paper and trying not to think about exactly what part of the poster he was plastering his body against.
It was quiet on the other side of the door, but the Master would catch up soon enough. "He'll be able to follow our scent," Angel continued. "Are you sure he can't get through that front door?"
The Doctor waved off the concern and stepped across the earth tone shag carpet to where Amy was dabbing at Rory's bleeding face with a towel that she had found on a shelf. "Angel, Angel, Angel, nuclear explosions can't get through that door."
"How about this door?" Angel pointed at the door. "He's going to burst in, murder you, and take that key. And then I'm going to murder you again for putting my son in danger."
The Doctor looked back at the door in question. "Not explosion proof," he decided. "But! I did manage to reconnect the psycitry."
Angel didn't know what that meant. His fist ran into the Doctor's face before he managed to ask.
The Doctor tumbled away. Angel followed and picked him up by the jacket, pulling his fist back again. Amy and Rory were shouting at him. The Doctor held up his hands in surrender. "Which means that I can tamper with the hallways! We're three miles away!"
Angel's fist hovered as he took that in and pondered how much he believed that they had suddenly traveled a whole three miles inside a spaceship.
"Great," Amy said. "You took us three miles away from the console room. Which is where, I'm pretty sure, we want to be if we're going to get out of this mess alive."
So Amy believed him. It was good enough for Angel. He lowered his fist.
The Doctor managed a weak smile at Angel and then gingerly touched his nose. "Ow," he whimpered. "That's it. I'm swearing off vampires."
"Can you do that after we get rid of the Master?" Rory asked. He took the towel from his wife and pressed it to his cheek.
"Right!" The Doctor perked up. "So! The Master should now be happily chasing us through endless empty hallways. We just need to sneak around behind him, pop into the console room, fly to where he's supposed to be and then it's a simple issue of pushing him out the door. Easy!" He grinned around the room and found it full of three very skeptical faces.
"Maybe Amy and I should just stay in here until you do that," Rory suggested with what was supposed to be a light shrug. "Since you clearly won't need us for this 'easy' plan of pushing him out the door."
"Rory," Amy hissed. "We want to help."
"We don't want to die," Rory protested. He waved his bloody towel as evidence. He looked at Angel and added, "Thanks, by the way. Wasn't looking forward to death-by-vampire."
"I don't recommend it, myself," Angel replied.
Rory looked down at his feet, pressing the towel against his cheek again.
"Rory's right, Amy," the Doctor said. "This might be best left as a Pondless adventure."
Amy crossed her arms, scowling at the Doctor. She was about to launch into her argument, when a drop of liquid splashed on her nose. She wiped it away and eyed the liquid on her fingers.
"So what, then?" Angel asked. "You move us back to the console room, I stand guard while you do stuff, then we lure him back?"
"Sounds easy!" the Doctor said in his too-loud voice that Angel thought he used when he was willing everyone to be in enthusiastic agreement with him.
Amy squinted up at the ceiling. Angel agreed: he was not in enthusiastic agreement.
"Things are never easy with the Master," Angel said. "But if that's all we've got…"
"Great!" the Doctor clapped his hands together like Angel has said this was the best plan ever. "Off to the console room."
"And when we finish, you should check the plumbing," Amy added.
"Fine. Plumbing." The Doctor was already walking away. He paused and turned on his heel. "What?"
"Your drainpipe in the ceiling is leaking," Amy pointed up, where the dripping water was turning into a dribble. "I'd question the choice of putting a drain in the ceiling at all, but here? Who are we kidding? It just shouldn't leak."
The Doctor frowned at the water. He stuck his hand under the flow that was now puddling significantly on the floor. Rory moved away. Amy raised an eyebrow. The Doctor licked some off of his hand.
"Can you psy-fix-the-plumbing?" Amy asked.
"I don't think this is the plumbing," the Doctor said slowly.
Something in the Doctor's tone made Angel's stomach knot with suspicious apprehension. He took a few steps forward, sniffing. It smelled like water, but something about it made his skin prickle.
The water splashed from where it hit the Doctor's hands, and a few drops landed on Angel's trousers. Angel reached out a finger and touched the stream.
Fire hit his finger and Angel yelled out in pain as he stumbled backward, causing everyone to jump.
Angel looked at them in shock, realizing that he must have shifted faces for how much sharper they looked. "Holy water," he gasped.
The Doctor swallowed. "Well, that's not good. Angel? Can you get to the door?" The Doctor didn't take his eyes off of the stream of water.
The path was dry back to the door that they had come through. Angel backed toward it. "How much holy water do you have?" he asked, feeling for the knob.
"I had Boniface bless the swimming pool. It was funny at the time..."
Angel cursed and fumbled open the door, pushing it open with one hand without taking his eyes off of the water pouring from the ceiling. A sharp pain hit his hand, and the smell of smoke filled the air. Angel yelled again and stumbled back into the room, staring out into the very well lit hallway. "Sunlight! Doctor, what the hell?"
"Oh...very, very not good at all." The Doctor ran to a door on the opposite side of the room and pulled it open. "Okay," he said, "this way should be safe. For now. Rory? Out you go, into the hallway. Amy? You next."
Both Amy and Rory ran out into the hallway. Angel and the Doctor both eyed the pool of water that was quickly growing into a lake between Angel and the other door.
"Okay..." the Doctor looked around and his eyes focused on a brown plaid couch. "Right." He scrambled over and dragged the couch over into the puddle. "Over you go!"
Angel didn't need to be told twice. He scrambled over the makeshift bridge and leapt the distance that it didn't cover, tucking and rolling out into the hallway where he slid into the far wall. The Doctor ran out, slamming the door behind him. Water slowly leaked from the crack under the door.
Eyeing the walls, the ceiling, and the floor, Angel backed himself up against the far wall. Before he could gather enough to ask a question, Amy pointed a finger at the Doctor's nose. "Your ship is trying to kill us. You said that the TARDIS was safe."
"Yes, I-I did, didn't I?" The Doctor held up his hands placatingly. "It's not trying to kill us, Amy. It's trying to kill Angel. You and Rory are perfectly safe. Except, you know, for the vampires..." He looked over at Angel. "Vampire. Upstairs." He pointed at the ceiling.
"Can't you tell it to stop?" Rory suggested. "You haven't just forgotten to tell it that Angel's a friend or something?"
The Doctor shook his head. "It's broken. I didn't have a lot of time. I fixed the map vector settings and tried to reboot the security system so we could find Amy. We found Amy," he waved at Amy, "and the security system is definitely functioning. It just seems to be unable to differentiate between vampires."
Angel took several steps away from the widening puddle of holy water from under the door. Something in the wall had started to vibrate. "Doctor?"
The Doctor pressed his hand against the wall.
"So basically-" Amy started, leaning in to poke a finger at the Doctor.
The Doctor grabbed her hand and started to run. "We need to move," he said, snatching Angel's leather jacket sleeve and he ran past. He let go of Amy to twist the doorknob of the first door he came to and pushed Angel inside just as the corridor began to brighten uncomfortably again.
They had entered a round room that looked like it belonged in Star Trek (or Star Wars? Angel couldn't keep track), with computer screens built into the walls and control panels jutting out like countertops. The Doctor pressed his hand against one of the closer smooth panels.
"So basically what you're telling us," Amy started again, inserting herself next to the Doctor, "is that either we leave the security system on and let it kill both the vampires on this ship, or we turn it off to save one vampire while the other one finds us and eats us?"
"Eh..." the Doctor said, his eyes wide and staring at the quickly shifting circular symbols on the screen in front of him, "actually, it should be a simple issue of getting Angel back to the console room. Everyone's safe there."
"...Including the evil vampire that's going to kill us," Amy said like the Doctor might be slow.
The Doctor jerked away from the console just as the symbols started to flash across the screen. "Move!" he said, pointing at a door on the opposite end of the room.
Angel didn't need to be told twice: he ran for the door. He could hear Amy and Rory jogging behind him. He tugged open the door, looking into the room beyond. It was the inside of an ocean blue sphere the size of a cathedral, the floor sloping down from the doorway. Angel couldn't spot any other doors. He looked back at the Doctor, who hadn't moved from the control panel.
"Override," the Doctor kept repeating to himself.
"Doctor," Rory said over his shoulder. "There's no way out from the next room."
"No. What? No." The Doctor pointed at the wall to the left of the doorway that Angel was standing in. "Run! I can't keep rebooting the sprinkler system forever."
"That's not a door!" Angel said, waving at the wall.
But Amy let out a cry like a warrior charging into battle and just ran at the wall. Just before she hit it, a hidden door slid aside. She disappeared through it.
Rory pushed Angel after her. "Go on," he said, "you're the one in danger."
Angel leapt through the opening and abruptly found himself falling through the air. He yelled in shock, bright colors whirring past him in twisting tube-like shapes that looked fam-
Angel crashed into the pit of plastic balls and plunged in so deep at least a foot of the balls closed back in over him. Above him, he heard Rory's terrified yell and the Doctor's exhilarated whoop. Angel struggled to get out of their way, but a second later Rory landed to his left and the Doctor landed on his foot.
"Ahhhhg!" Angel burst up to the surface. "This ship," he yelled at the Doctor, "is insane!"
"Malfunctioning," the Doctor said, as he popped up. He tilted his head back, staring longingly back up the tubing. "I need controls… Voice Interface!"
A little girl flickered into view. She had red hair, round cheeks, and wore a red cardigan over a flowered white night dress. Amy and Rory yelled again, jumping away from the image as if it were the Master himself. Angel wondered if he was missing something, but the Doctor appeared at ease with it. Angel was not sure if he should take comfort in that and found that he was exhausted of being unsure all the time. It had been such a nice night before the Doctor crashed in.
"Warning," the little girl said in a lifeless tone. "Hostile lifeforms aboard the vessel. Rebooting sprinkler systems. Damage to the following systems: Navigation, Security, Chameleon Circuit, Gravitational, Psy-"
"Yes! Yes! Turn off the sprinklers!" the Doctor said.
"Sprinkler systems off," the girl reported.
"Doctor," Amy said, pushing forward. "Why is that me?"
The Doctor waved dismissively. "It picks a random image from the archives."
"Tell it to pick a different one!"
"Hey!" Angel cut in, "Ship trying to kill me, evil sadistic vampire trying to kill all of us. Priorities!"
"Yes, priorities," the Doctor agreed. "TARDIS, power down the security system."
"Password required."
The Doctor started to wade through the ball pit toward the climbing wall.
"Password accepted. Error. Security system damaged. Please initiate repairs in the main console room."
"Which is three miles away, right?" Angel said, pushing through the balls after the Doctor. Amy and Rory followed.
"Well, now it's one door up, through the garden, up the ladder and past the kitchen," the Doctor said.
"Okay, tell me this," Angel drew level with the Doctor. "If you can make it so we're three miles away, and now suddenly just," Angel gestured vaguely toward the door, "through the door, past the garden, up the kitchen, whatever: why can't you just make it be through that door?"
"There's a structure," the Doctor said, grabbing the first handhold on the climbing wall and pulling himself out of the ball pit, "that I can't change. There are certain fixed points around the main-"
"Sprinkler systems rebooting."
"Turn off the sprinkler system," the Doctor said, reaching for the next handhold, "the point is, we can make it. We just need to not run into the other Master."
"Okay," Amy said, grabbing her first handhold, "you do know that you just cursed us to run into him, right?"
Angel, who had already reached the second floor door and was pushing it open, said, "I can go ahead. Make sure the way is clear." There was grass on the floor that Angel climbed onto. In the room beyond an eccentric cacophony of organic, flowery smells wafted over him. They'd found the garden, lush and green with ornamental bushes cut into perfect spheres, cherry trees in full bloom, and wooden structures that looked like ancient Japanese shrines, which varied in size from birdhouse to castle.
"Er," Rory said, grabbing at a handhold with tired resignation at having to do this again, "not sure that's a good idea. Sprinkler system's on the fritz and the TARDIS could cut you off from us."
"Good point, Rory. Angel, I need you to stay in the same room as me. I'm turning the lights down for you as we go. TARDIS! Please locate the hostile lifeforms."
Angel looked back into the garden, suddenly suspicious. It looked...green. He sat cautiously in the doorway, leaning against the frame and letting one leg hang over the ball pit below as he waited for the others to catch up.
"Danger. Hostile lifeform in current location," the TARDIS reported.
"He's not-okay, nevermind. The second one?"
"Danger. Hostile lifeform in the main console room."
All four of them sighed loudly. Angel hit the outside of the doorway he was sitting on in frustration. He looked down at the other three climbing toward him, thinking while he watched.
The Master had surprised him. That was a first. Not that he'd actually spent that much time with the guy, but he was a predictable sort of villain. He wasn't following his prey, or trying to get the key to the door, but was instead trying to...what?
Oh, Angel suddenly realized. To keep control of the console room. The Master might still think the Doctor was a sorcerer, but he was smart enough to realize that the "magic" was centered around that console, and that they would have to return to it eventually. He wouldn't have to hunt his prey when his prey were sure to come back.
The girl in the red cardigan was still standing in the ball pit, staring ahead blankly at the climbing wall. Angel found her deeply unsettling.
The Doctor reached the door and Angel positioned himself to offer his hand.
"Why didn't he leave the console room?" the Doctor said as Angel pulled him up. "Surely he wanted to murder one of us. I mean, look at Rory. Everything tries to kill Rory."
"Thanks," said Rory, shouted up the wall.
Angel narrowed his eyes and he answered the Doctor in a low voice, "He knows we want him to move."
The Doctor heaved a sigh and leaned his head against the doorway. "I thought you said he was an idiot," he said.
"He is," Angel insisted. He leaned out to offer Amy a hand. "But…" he conceded reluctantly, "he hasn't been leader of a devoted vampire cult for centuries for nothing." He hauled Amy up the rest of the way and after making sure she had her balance back, turned to the Doctor. "He knows the console room is the source of a lot of power. He's waiting for us."
Amy crossed her arms. "Yeah, and he's probably pressing every button he can find on that console in the meantime."
The Doctor psssh-ed the thought away. "He can't drive the TARDIS. He'd never even be able to start the engines."
"No, but he could find the button that unlocks the door," Amy pointed out.
A deep, sickening silence fell-punctuated by Rory's grunts of effort climbing up the wall-as they each realized the severity of what that meant. The Master didn't need the key. He didn't need to hunt them. Could he have figured that out?
If he could figure out that the console was the source of all power, he could definitely figure out that it had the power to open the door.
"Oh my god," Angel said, horror twisting his heart.
"Your son," Amy said.
The Doctor stood very, very still.
Angel nodded, temporarily unable to speak.
"So," Amy said decisively, "we'll just have to get there before he figures out which button to press."
"And we'll figure out what to do when we get there," Angel agreed, turning. "Let's go."
"Er, hello?" Rory's sweaty brow appeared at the bottom of the doorframe. "Could I get some help, too?"
Angel grasped Rory under both arms and pulled him up.
"Thanks," Rory panted as they all hurriedly followed the Doctor across the grass toward the nearest winding path through the cherry blossoms as he told the little girl that was the TARDIS (who had flickered up next to them) to turn off the sprinklers again. Angel made out a stone gazebo in the distance to their left.
"Okay," Amy said thoughtfully. "Doctor, cover your ears." She turned to Angel. "If we get some kind of weapon, can you kill the Master?"
"Can I? Sure," Angel said with more confidence than he felt. "Will I? No."
"Thank you," the Doctor grumbled. "Amy! Stop suggesting death as a solution."
"Okay," Amy said, waving the Doctor off, "aside from the fact that you had your ass handed to you last time you came up against him, why not?"
"I did not have my ass handed to me," Angel protested as he ducked around the low hanging branch of a cherry tree, the pink blossoms puffing their petals fragrantly around him when he touched them.
"Uh, yes you did. The Doctor did all the saving in that hallway."
"Angel saved me," Rory said, pointing at the scratch on his face.
"Thank you," Angel gestured at Rory.
"Yes," Amy agreed, "good job crashing into the evil vampire in order to save Rory. Now you just need to do that with a wooden stake or a silver knife or whatever in your hand that kills you guys."
"No," Angel said, "that's just it. I can't kill him because Buffy needs to kill him in the future. His future. My past. Whatever, it's really important. He goes back to his own time alive."
"Plus," the Doctor added, "exploding timelines. Remember?"
They came to a dark wooden bridge that spanned a wide, babbling creek. Amy's heels clunked on the boards as they crossed.
"Right," Amy said in reluctant concession. "Okay. No killing the evil monster. Doctor, it's your turn."
"My turn?"
"Yep. Tell us your plan to get us out of this mess."
The Doctor straightened suddenly and spun around to look at her, beaming. "I have a plan?" he asked. "Why didn't I tell me?"
Angel thought that these words might have been appropriate dripping with sarcasm; not the genuine curiosity with which the Doctor said them.
"You always have a plan," Amy replied. "Of course, you tend to tell yourself right before we're all going to die..." The Doctor nodded reasonably with her explanation. Amy continued, "But you couldn't change that, could you? I mean, not that I don't appreciate the occasional rush, but I'm worried about Rory's kidneys."
"Adrenals," Rory corrected.
"Ah, yes," the Doctor said a bit sheepishly, veering suddenly to the right along a new, smaller path. "I'll give it a good try, Amy, I really will. But you know, it's not so easy to come up with a plan to lure something away when it won't take bait."
"It'll take bait," Angel said. "Just not us…"
"So, what," Amy said from behind him, "we hang a giant bloody steak from the ceiling and hope it falls into our tiger pit?"
"Angel," the Doctor said suddenly. "Angel, you might want to duck."
"Mm?" Angel glanced up out of thought.
"Like, right now."
"What?"
"Duck!"
Angel ducked, and a wide, razor-sharp axe swung through the air right where his neck was microseconds before. It spun off like a giant throwing star over the bushes, slicing off their tops before splashing into a koi pond, where several fish jumped out of the way in fright. Rory cursed under his breath, eying the bushes and trees around them warily for more hidden axes.
"Sorry!" the Doctor said apologetically as Angel stood up again, protectively rubbing his neck.
"Doctor," Amy stepped up beside him. "You never told us your ship had axes hidden in its gardens."
"Well that's the thing," the Doctor began to explain as he urged them all quickly forward again. "It doesn't. Not really. See, that wasn't so much an axe in the metal blade, wooden handle sense. It's really more of a very specifically aligned compaction of light particles meant to look like an axe."
"So why'd you tell me to duck if it's not real?" Angel asked.
"Oh, it's real. It would have sliced your head clean off," the Doctor said cheerily. "It's just a different kind of real. Think Star Trek instead of Game of Thrones."
"Game of what?" Amy asked. "Doctor, are you making up references again so you sound like you know what you're talking about?"
"Thrones, Amy. You know, 'Winter is coming!'..." the Doctor blinked at the bemused faces. "It's sciencey science stuff, okay?" He led them all up the steps of one of the wooden buildings, shoulders slumping in defeat.
"If you say so," Amy agreed, glancing up at the sweeping architecture as they hurried under it. "So do you even have bloody steaks and tiger pits? Wait," she held up a hand, "what am I saying? Given the things we've seen on your ship today, of course you do."
"I don't," the Doctor said a bit haughtily as he pushed on the door at the top of the steps. They hurried through and into the hallway beyond.
"I'm not sure that'll work for vampires anyway, Amy," Rory told her.
"Well no one else is coming up with ideas," Amy said, eyeing Angel particularly. "Especially the guy who should actually know what kind of bait to use for a vampire trap."
Angel didn't acknowledge the jibe.
"What do you guys like, aside from blood and virgins?" Amy pressed on.
They stopped at a wooden ladder that looked like it belonged in a Native American pueblo. It went straight up through a hole in the ceiling, which wasn't far, but it was so dark that not even Angel could see beyond the ceiling. He started up without hesitation.
"Plenty of things," Angel replied. "But the Master thinks Connor is the one in that prophesy. If he can get through that door, he's going to focus on getting him."
They all fell into silence again as they hurriedly climbed the smooth rungs of the ladder, Rory once again falling in last. Angel had made it into the ceiling, but everything was still pitch black. He glanced down at the hole below him.
Looking back up at him was Rory, who slowly raised his hand. "Actually," he said, "I have a bad idea."