AN: Ugh, just when I thought the delay between chapters couldn't get any worse. So, so, so sorry. You guys definitely deserve quicker updates than I've been able to give - and I sincerely apologize. Between work, traveling, etc, the amount of time I've had to write has been scarce. And, as we are headed to the end of this story, I wanted to give these last parts the attention they deserve. Hopefully you will forgive the delay.

As always, thank you guys so much for all your support and kind words throughout this journey. Cannot express enough how encouraging and helpful it is when life gets crazy and finding the time to write seems impossible - you guys help keep the inspiration going.

As noted above, it's with mixed feelings I announce that this is likely the last full chapter of this story. There will be an epilogue to follow (hopefully in much less time than these last few chapters took me to post). It's been an absolute pleasure taking this journey with all of you - hopefully you've enjoyed it a little.

Since this story is coming to a close, wanted to run something by everyone. I've had a few requests for taking prompts in the past - including a few recently. If people are truly interested, I may open another story link on here (name it something obvious like "CSI: Prompts") and use each chapter to fill a prompt request. They would be one shot type of deals - aka one chapter per prompt, lengths varying depending on the prompt. I think that will work much better with my current schedule than another long multi-chapter story. Would do my best to honor and fulfill all prompt requests the best I can in the order they're received - only ask no crossover prompts as that would likely be a disaster. Let me know your thoughts and if you'd be interested.

Hope everyone is doing well. Take care and enjoy.

CHAPTER 45

CATHERINE POV

"I could really get used to this."

Fingers running gently up and down Sara's exposed back, she smiles slightly in response, eyes still closed against the early morning light just starting to filter through my bedroom window.

"Hmm," she hums out sleepily. "All we have to do is get ourselves fired, then we can have all the mornings off work that we want."

Laughing, I rest my head against the pillow, watching the way the sunlight catches on the different chestnut tones in Sara's hair.

"Then we'd be enjoying our mornings in a tent when we can no longer afford our mortgages."

"I could live with that," Sara says.

Snorting, I gently tug on her hair with my free hand. "Well, GI Jane, some of us prefer modern amenities. Like running water. A toilet. A coffee maker."

Sara's brows furrow, her arm around my waist tensing slightly.

"Shit," she mutters. "I didn't consider the coffee."

Smiling, I wonder how it's possible to be so in love with someone so relatively new in your life. Yes, Sara and I have known each other for awhile now, and been through more together in the last couple months than most people go through together in a lifetime, but it still gives me such a strange sensation knowing how safe, how at home, I feel with her.

There's a lot in my past, a lot in my current life still, that unsettles me. But here, this woman lying with her arm protectively around my waist, she, despite being the thing that should unsettle me the most, is the one thing that doesn't unsettle me at all.

Leaning my head down, I place a soft kiss along Sara's temple, taking in the scent of her shampoo, the scent of her.

"I love you," I say quietly, knowing she can hear me in the silence of the early morning.

Sara's grip around my waist tightens, her thumb moving gently along my hip.

"Good," her voice filters through the air. "Otherwise the fact we spent an entire day and night doing...what we did...would have been very awkward."

Snorting, I shake my head at her, at this woman who never fails to keep me on my toes.

"What we did?" I question playfully. "I'm not sure I know what you mean."

"Hmm," Sara raises a dark brow, finally opening her eyes to fix me with her hazel gaze. Watching me for a moment, she slowly leans down, placing her lips near my ear. "Do you need a reminder?"

Smiling, I feel her kiss gently along my neck, her body turning towards me to get better access.

"Maybe..." I get out, hating the way my voice hitches, betraying just how much power the brunette has over me.

Smiling slightly, Sara pulls back just enough to meet my eyes.

"I think that can be arranged."

KELLY POV

"Hey Cath!" I call into the house as I use my spare key. "I dropped Linds off at school, thought maybe we could grab a co-"

My words trail off into silence as I enter the kitchen, met with a pair of hazel eyes instead of blue.

"Oh," I try to keep my expression neutral. "Hi, Sara."

Sara sends me a nod, standing from the table as she places her mug in the sink.

"Catherine is upstairs," she tells me, her back to me as she rinses out the sink before placing her mug in the dishwasher. "She was still asleep when I came down, but you can check if she's awake if you'd like."

Trying to keep up my steady expression, I shake my head.

"No, that's fine, I'll let her rest."

Clearing my throat, I hesitate in the doorway of the kitchen.

"I, uh, I guess I should go then," I say. "Tell her I stopped by?"

Sara nods, hands pressing themselves into the pockets of her jeans.

"Unless…"

I pause, not sure I really want to finish the statement that I started. Really want to carry out the ridiculous idea passing through my brain.

"Unless you wanted to grab that coffee with me instead?" I pose, my body clearly not listening to reason this morning. "Since Cath's still asleep."

It's a peace offering, one that I think is long overdue ever since Sara took the step of coming to my office to clear the air between us. She's been forthright and open in regards to trying to move on, and it's time I offered her the same.

Seeing her watching me, I try not to shift under her heavy gaze. Just when I think she's going to decline, or make up some excuse, she slowly nods.

"Okay."

"Okay, great," I offer in what I hope is a steady tone, letting out a tense breath. "You want to walk up to that place on the corner? That way we can be nearby when Catherine wakes?"

Grabbing a sweater from the counter, Sara pulls it over her head, already making her way to the door. Taking this as agreement to my suggestion, I follow her out.

"So, you guys are good?" I pose the question a few minutes into the walk, no longer able to keep my silence.

Sara was at Cath's this morning, and I'm not naive enough to not have figured out she spent the night. And, I'm more than aware it's not the first time Sara's spent the night. However, as far as I knew, all the other times Catherine was still trying to keep things between them from getting intimate.

This morning, however, something feels different. Sara feels different.

"We're good."

Sara's answer is short, simple. I can't tell if she's purposefully being elusive or if this is just part of Sara's ever stoic nature.

"I heard that your coworkers found out about your relationship," I push, trying to get her to open up. "So you guys are official now?"

Sara's eyes narrow slightly, like she's trying to figure out where this conversation is heading. What my angle is.

"Yes."

At her one word, stilted answer, I finally stop walking.

"Sara."

Letting out a breath, Sara stops as well, turning to face me.

"I'm happy for you," I tell her honestly. "I'm happy for Catherine. That's all this is about."

I hope that Sara can see that I'm being honest with her, that this isn't some plot on my end. That I'm not judging her nor her relationship with Catherine. Not judging the progressions their relationship has been making, most likely including the progressions it made yesterday and last night if my suspicions are correct.

"Okay," she eventually says, eyes meeting mine briefly before she starts walking again.

Catching up, I let out a sigh. For all my statements about not trusting Sara the last time the brunette and I spoke about their relationship, I think Sara still has some trust issues of her own to work out when it comes to trusting me.

"Lindsey mentioned you built a solar system model with her the other day?" I say, trying to bring up a more pleasant topic.

But, I watch as Sara becomes perhaps even more tense.

"Yeah," she again answers succinctly.

"She had a really great time, Sar," I push further. "Spent the whole day talking about it. And you."

Turning on her heel, Sara faces me fully.

"What do you want, Kelly?" Sara finally gets out, her eyes matched with mine. "What do you really want to say? Or ask? Or whatever the hell this is about."

Eyes widening, I feel my hands raising into a position of surrender, more than caught off guard by this moment.

"I was just…" my words are hesitant, nervous, confused. "I was just trying to tell you she had a great time, that she loves being with you. And I'm happy to see you both getting along like I knew you would."

Seeing Sara's expression remaining tight, her hands tense at her sides, I shake my head.

"You're good for her, Sara." My words are honest, quiet, sincere. "You're good for both of them."

I sigh, letting out a shaky breath.

"I guess that's what I was trying to get at."

Sara continues to watch me, her face finally losing a slight bit of its edge as she angles her gaze downward. Perhaps finally realizing my intentions aren't at all what she assumed, or feared, they were.

"Hey," I call, reaching out and placing my hand on her shoulder. "Sara."

When she eventually looks back at me, I give her shoulder a squeeze.

"I'm not here to interfere with you and Catherine, or you and Lindsey. I'm not hoping that you fail, that Catherine and you don't work out. I…"

I send her a small smile.

"I'm pulling for you, Sara," I confess. "I really want you and Cath to work. You're the best thing that's happened to her since I met her. You make her happy. So, incredibly happy. And…you deserve to be happy as well. I want you both to be happy together for a long, long time."

Sara's response takes a while, and when it comes, it's hesitant.

"What changed?" she asks. "What makes you think I won't hurt them, that I'm not a danger to them?"

I consider her question, the question that's pointed but fair. The question that I think has been playing at Sara's mind this whole time, the one that's made her hesitant and wary of my affirming comments. After all, the last time Sara and I spoke about her and Cath's relationship, I was honest in my lack of trust for the young CSI.

"I think I'm realizing that Catherine was right," I state. "If you were going to hurt her, you had plenty of chances before this. She pushed you time and time again, professionally, personally. You faced some of the hardest times of your life recently, with her there prodding and meddling all the way through it. If you were going to snap, fight back, that would've been a perfect time."

I shake my head, "But you didn't, even when she got physical with you, you didn't. I think I'm finally willing to see the person that's standing before me, and not the person that's in that file you gave Catherine. The person that was your past."

Sara's gaze remains even, tense.

"But past dictates present, right?" she challenges.

"It does, and I think your past does dictate your present, Sara," I tell her, watching as her brows furrow at my apparently contradictory statement. "But I think I'm finally realizing it dictates it in a positive way."

Now looking conflicted and confused, Sara's eyes are dark.

"I think everything you went through in your past is what's keeping it from happening in your future. I think you lived through hell, through the worst of people and the vile things they can do to one another, and instead of it making you hard or violent, it did the opposite. It made you never want to be those things, made you hyperaware of yourself and being in control around those you love. Never allowing yourself to be to them what those people were to you."

Sara's gaze falters, her eyes shifting away as she tenses under my touch where my hand remains on her shoulder.

"Your past was everything you'd never allow yourself to do, to become," I get out. "And it's time for me to stop judging you for things that were done to you. To stop being suspicious of you for things that happened to you, things that you had no say in, no control over. You've done nothing to warrant those suspicions, you personally never did a single thing wrong towards me or the people that I love. What was done to you wasn't your fault, Sara, and I need to stop making you pay for it all over again in your adult life."

Sara's body is still, her jaw tightening as she swallows against her emotions, head turning to the side to hide the expression in her eyes.

"You know about my brother…"

"I do," I tell her, getting to the one issue that's truly been the point of contention between us. All this time, this is the one thing I've never been able to reconcile regarding her past. "And that's what scared me the most about you, about your past. That you were capable of something like that, of killing another human being."

Sara takes my words, not moving under the weight of them as she continues to gaze off to my left.

"I told Catherine I didn't understand the decision to take a life, that I could never do it."

I pause, trying to plan out my words to best express what I want to say.

"I think I was naïve to think I knew what I would do regarding a situation I've never been in. When I think about Lindsey, or Catherine, and what I would do if they were in danger…"

I trail off, shivers running through me at the mere thought.

"I think it's unfair for me to judge when I've never been put in that position. And, it's unfair for me to judge you for the decision you made when you were."

I place my other hand on her other shoulder, holding her in place.

"Bottom line, what you did, whether right or wrong, was not malicious. Was not provoked or initiated by you. You reacted to a situation, to a threat against the people that you love. Who am I to judge that reaction when I've never had to be in that awful position myself?"

I try to get her eyes to meet mine, but she's still looking to the side.

"Like I said before, Sara, you're not a bad person," I shake my head. "You're anything but."

I trail off, waiting to see if she's going to say anything, but she remains silent.

"And, honestly, Sara," I confess. "I think what really made me realize what an idiot I've been is when Catherine told me recently about your sister when we were talking. It came up in conversation and she told me that your sister cut you out of her life after what happened?"

Sara's jaw tenses even further, this clearly not a topic of conversation she's comfortable with.

"I was disgusted that someone could cut you out of their life for protecting your family, for protecting them. You likely saved your sister's life that night, and now she doesn't speak to you? I was so pissed off at this person I've never met for treating you that way. But then I realized…"

I steady myself, getting this final part out.

"Then I realized I'd been doing the exact same thing to you. Wanting you out of Catherine's life for actions that sought to protect, not harm."

When I trail off, the world around us goes silent, neither one of us speaking. Finally, I muster the courage to break it.

"I don't judge you for what you did that night, Sara," I whisper, giving her full absolution from any judgement I've ever had against her.

The world remains silent between us, her head lowered, almost in shame or regret. The dark emotions running through her almost palpable.

"Someday, Sara, you need to stop judging yourself for it, too."

At that, Sara's body tenses, her shoulders jerking so tightly that my hands almost lose their grip. I know right then that I've hit directly into Sara's vulnerable spot - the source of her anger, frustration, darkness. It's not directed at me or anyone else, not really. It's directed solely at herself.

For all my judgements, for all her sister's judgements, I think the one person who's been judging her the harshest is herself.

Sara tries to turn away, this conversation hitting much too close to home, but I hold her firmly in place.

"Stop," I soothe, holding her as her body trembles tensely under my grip, her jaw working so tightly it must be painful. "It's okay to feel, Sara. To let yourself be forgiven."

Her hands raise up, tight fingers clutching towards her eyes when she realizes she can't turn away under my tight grip. Dark hair falls across her temples, further obscuring her features. But, I don't need to see her expression as her shaking gets worse, betraying the emotions she's feeling.

"Shh," I get out, throwing caution to the wind as I pull her to me, wrapping my arms tightly around her. "You're okay. It's okay to let go, to stop holding all of this in."

Holding her firmly, I run my hands along her back, easily encompassing her thin body in my arms.

"Stop blaming yourself, Sara. All these years. You need to stop torturing yourself and let yourself be forgiven."

Feeling her shaking against me, I close my own eyes and simply hold her. Offer her the support that I should have offered her ages ago. Support that I think very few people in her life have given her. I suspect that Catherine and I are the only people who even know about her past, besides her sister who was there. And, with her sister and I both having turned our backs on her as a result of it, that left only one person who's ever accepted her as she was. Accepted the person that she is.

She needs to know that number has changed to two.

Holding her tightly, I keep myself steady, trying to offer her all the support I can convey.

"Hey," Catherine greets as we enter the house. "Where did you two head off to?"

Seeing her ready to start the coffee maker, I reach across and hand her the extra coffee in my hand.

Seeing the cup, and the order written on the side as her favorite, she lets out a smile.

"Question answered," she laughs, taking a long sip. "My God this is good, bless you both."

Smiling, we let Catherine enjoy her coffee for a few minutes before she puts the cup down. Looking us over, she seems to be searching for evidence of any sort of altercation. I'm sad that she worries about such things, but knowing she's not wrong to have thought it.

But, hopefully that's going to change. I think Sara and I finally reached a breaking point, one that we can now finally rebuild from.

"You okay?" Catherine asks, her eyes fixing on Sara, the brunette still looking a bit unsettled.

The brunette apologized to me about fifty times on the way home, embarrassed for what she perceived as a loss of control, weakness. When, in reality, what I witnessed was an already impossibly strong woman only become stronger.

"Yeah," Sara assures Catherine, giving her a small smile as she takes her place next to her at the counter.

"You sure?" Catherine asks, gently taking Sara's hand.

The two of them together have such a connection that it's obvious to anyone witnessing it, half their words are unspoken, the conversations happening mostly between their gazes.

"I'm sure," Sara says, giving Catherine's hand a squeeze as she places a gentle kiss into the blonde's temple.

While what Sara and I shared was a mutual attraction, a genuine connection, this is different. What she and Catherine have is beyond that.

What they have is love.

Catherine's arm wraps itself around Sara's waist, holding her close as she works her way through her coffee. All of us talking, joking, laughing as we enjoy the morning together.

All of us finally content and at peace in the ways I suspect we each needed it.

AN: Thanks for reading. See you at the epilogue.