Remy's Diabolical Plan

Chapter Ten: The Case of the Diabolical Football

~X~

Rogue cursed. Maybe she should have bought a different swimsuit. No, maybe she should have looked at the swimsuit before she had bought it instead of grabbing the first one she had seen in her size and then running to pay for it.

It had seemed like the smart thing to do at the time. Kitty, Amara, and Tabitha had grabbed twenty different swimsuits (per girl) and had run off to the dressing room. Rogue downright refused to try on the swimsuit before she bought it. If she did, she would have ended up in that place for over an hour because Kitty would say-"Here, Rogue, try this one! And this one! And this one! And OOO look how retro!" And then to make sure that Rogue tried them all on, Kitty would phase through the wall of the dressing room, grab her clothes, and then run off again until she had tried on every stupid suit. And Rogue hadn't wanted to do that. Again.

So she had simply grabbed a plain red one in her size and paid for it. Afterwards she went into the bathroom (which was thankfully no where near the dressing rooms) and put it on and then put her clothes back on over it. She swore loudly when she saw that it was a two piece, but decided that she was too lazy to bring it back up and exchange it. But at least the red color was pretty.

Now she was down on the beach, standing next to Remy and Kurt and she wished that she had taken time to pick a more modest one piece, not been so lazy and just bring the suit back to exchange it, and hadn't ditched all of the other girls.

So what if she was a little self conscious about her body? She was a modest person after spending most of her life with it covered up. She didn't like how pale her skin was or the size of her breasts and now wondered if that mole on her stomach was as big as she remembered it being. No clothes had come off yet and already she was dreading it. WHY had she wanted to come to the public beach again? Oh, that's right, she hadn't! Kitty had wanted to come here to meet hot, tanned beach guys.

There were a lot of people here, most of them in their swimsuits and no one else seemed as shy about it as she was, even the ones who really should have thought twice about wearing a two piece. But no one was looking at her. She realized this when she glanced around. They were all talking and laughing and sunbathing and lying on beach towels and those guys over there were throwing a football.

Rogue shrugged. It was now or never. Quickly, but nonchalantly, Rogue unbuttoned her pants and slid them down, kicking her shoes off in the process. Kurt and Remy were next to her pulling their shirts off—which made her feel a little better. At least she wasn't the only person taking her clothes off in public. Once her shirt was off she felt a little better. At least no one had barfed and no little children were looking at her and crying.

Remy, however, had to look away quickly. Friends didn't ogle at their friends when they were half naked. And they especially didn't ogle at their friends when their brother was standing right there and looking at him, as if daring him to look at his sister. But Rogue's choice of swimsuit only served to prove his earlier point. She was trying to kill him. Once Kurt looked away, Remy snuck a little glance her way. How couldn't he? That beautiful long hair and all that pale, creamy skin…

This reminded him of something.

"Sun block," he said, wincing when his voice sounded a little strangled. "Don't forget it."

"I have some," Rogue said without looking at either of them. She reached into a bag and pulled it out just as Kurt spoke.

"I don't need any," he said, sounding satisfied, "I'm a natural tanner."

"How are you a tanner? You're blue."

"Not right now," Kurt glared and pointed to his image inducer wrapped securely around his wrist. "However, I do turn darker blue in the sun."

"Well good for you." Rogue griped. "But I don't tan; I burn, so I need it."

"Ok," Kurt shrugged. "I'll meet you out there then."

"Do you have your waterproof image inducer?" She asked before he could walk off.

"Yes, mother."

Rogue tossed a handful of sand in his direction but he sprinted off, laughing and sticking his tongue out before it could touch him.

Remy honestly didn't need any sun block either. He'd never had sunburn, always tanned instead but he couldn't seem to pry himself away from the sight that was in front of him now. Rogue, barely dressed, and rubbing sun block on her body. He shouldn't look. It was bad, very bad. But he was bad man. And Rogue was a very attractive woman. If he walked away now, later he would ask himself why he had done that and wonder what the hell was wrong with him.

So he watched her (out of the corner of his eye, of course) as she rubbed it over her arms and her chest and down over her flat stomach, going over a mole next to her bellybutton that Remy had never known was there. Then she sat down and rubbed lotion over both of her legs, seemingly not noticing his widening eyes and breath hitching in his throat.

Remy looked away. She was trying to kill him! She was going to kill him! He had to get away before he did anything crazy, or she noticed his...appreciation.

"Where are you going?" She asked as soon as he shot to his feet.

He paused and turned halfway to her, gulping at the sight of her. "I-uh—I'm goin to swim." In the cold water.

"Oh…Well, can you rub some of this on my back for me first?" She held out the lotion towards him.

Rogue really was trying to kill him. But at least he would have a good time while he was dying. With a shrug, he walked around and sat behind her, taking the bottle from her hands and squeezing a generous amount into his hands.

She pulled her hair around to her front to get it out of his way, and with a happy sigh (that he tried to disguise as a cough), Remy started to rub the lotion onto her skin. It was definitely not normal for friends to take their time while rubbing sun block onto a friend's back. But Remy massaged with deliberate slowness, rubbing his fingers over her skin and trailing his thumbs up and down her spine. He really didn't think about how it must have felt—he just kept massaging his fingers in little circles up her back, over her shoulders and then back down again because it was fun making little pictures with the white lotion.

Rogue bit her lip, wondering what the hell Remy was doing to her to make her stomach flutter the way it was right now. But her stomach fluttering could have possibly been the cause of too many pancakes for breakfast in one week, and her tingling skin was probably due to the lotion. There must have been something in that lotion that made every touch feel so good. Yes, this was probably it. She wished Remy would hurry up before she couldn't help herself anymore and leaned back into his touch and she let out the little moan that was threatening to escape. Damn that lotion. And damn those pancakes. They were causing such strange feelings in her.

Remy finally finished. Rogue let go of her lip, feeling relieved. Remy, oblivious, stood and offered a hand. She took it without thinking, but regretted it as soon as she felt herself being jerked up and then swept up off of the ground.

"What the hell are you doing?" She yelled shrilly as Remy picked her up bridal style and started towards the water.

"Takin ya swimming," he grinned.

"And why are you carryin me?" She hissed, trying not to notice the other people on the beach looking their way.

"Because," he waded into the ocean up to his hips and then grinned down at her. "I've always wanted to do this."

"Do wha-" and then she was tossed into the water, and Remy was above the surface, laughing and swimming away. She came up spluttering, furious, and drenched, immediately searching for the one who had caused it all. But Remy was no where to been seen—or so that was what she thought as she tried to dry her eyes.

"Remy!" She said angrily, "I'm going to kill you! Where are you?" Looking to the left, and then to the right, Rogue couldn't spot him anywhere, but she did see Kurt a few yards away and pointing at the water. "What?" She asked, but before he could answer, a hand grabbed her ankle from under the water and jerked her under.

More water had gone up her nose and the shock of being emerged twice without warning had her ears ringing. But when she came back up the second time, ten times madder than before, Remy was already standing in front of her, howling in laughter. She simply glared at him, wiping her hair from her eyes and making sure her suit hadn't slipped off in any vital places.

"Remy," she said slowly but was only met with more laughing. "Remy," she tried again but still to no avail. "Fine," she shrugged and then disappeared under the water only to come up a moment later with a handful of wet sand.

Remy stopped laughing and his eyes widened. "No, wait-" he turned and the sand that had been happily slung smacked him on his right cheek and ear with a loud SPLAT. "Oh, gross," he muttered as little trails of it dribbled down his neck.

Rogue didn't even stop to laugh—for too long, anyway—before she dove under the water and came back up with more, this time hitting Remy on the shoulder with one handful, then when he screamed and turned away, landing a hit between his shoulder blades.

"Ah!" Remy dove under the water, scrubbing furiously at the places that had been hit.

As soon as he came back up again, ready to tackle Rogue and throw her under the water again, a giant handful of sand slapped into his chest, then one hit his arm and then another hit his stomach. How was she throwing so much at once? Remy held a hand up to shield his face from flying sand to see that Rogue had been joined by Kurt and both of them were happily teaming up on him.

That wasn't fair. Remy dived under the water again, swimming to the bottom (which wasn't that far) and searching until he came across a small shell. He swam over to where he could see the two siblings standing (and noted with some satisfaction that they were trying to get away) and after causing the shell to glow red, let it go towards their feet.

He broke through the surface again just in time to see the resulting under water explosion shower Rogue and Kurt and cause them to scream and dive away from him.

This started an all out war.

Remy had snuck up and held Rogue still as a particularly large wave crashed over them, and then Kurt had taken that opportunity to jump on his back and scrub a fistful of mud into his hair. After Remy had finally been able to sneak up on him by swimming under the water, he had dealt the mother of all wedgies to Kurt, causing him to scream and many other people to look their way.

The girls finally arrived after a half hour of this. Amara wouldn't come past her ankles into the water, but Tabitha joined in their fight, alternating between team Rogue and Nightcrawler and Team Gambit. Kitty came into the water and warned them that she didn't want to wet her hair. This ended with Kitty drenched of course and swearing loudly at them as she swam back to shore. Feeling tired, Rogue followed after her, catching up to try and tell her that Remy and Kurt had coerced her into wetting her hair. Which they hadn't. Rogue had coerced the two of them into it. But Kitty didn't need to know that.

"Yeah, I'm sure," Kitty sounded unconvinced as she plopped down on their beach towels and started wringing out her hair.

"It's true, I swear," Rogue said innocently and sat next to her. "You know how Remy and Kurt are. They're masters of persuasion."

Kitty continued to wring her hair and stare off into the horizon in thought. "Have you noticed that Kurt seems a bit…different lately?" She asked.

"Different how?" Rogue pulled a water bottle that one of the girls had brought from a bag and drank thirstily.

"I don't know." Kitty bit her lip. "He's just…you know…I…well, you know."

"Why yes, I have noticed that!"

"Don't get sarcastic. I don't know how to explain it. But he's different like, he's a guy now or something."

"Um," Rogue lifted an eyebrow. "I'm pretty sure he's always been a guy. Unless there's something he's never told us…"

"I like you better when you're not being sarcastic."

"And I like you better when your hair is dry but we can't have everything we want, can we?"

Rogue grinned as Kitty threw a towel into her face. Amara walked over to join them and sit on the sand across from them as Rogue pulled it off of her head.

"Amara, why won't you go in the water?" Kitty asked.

"Water's not really my thing," she replied. "Plus, have you ever thought about how many people have peed in the ocean?" The other girls wrinkled their noses but she continued. "And not to mention the sea creatures that always do their business in there. They also eat their food in there, which is already gross but then sometimes that gets blood and guts in the water. And have you ever cracked open a history book? Any long trip across any ocean when someone dies always ends up with dead bodies being thrown overboard. So essentially, the ocean is just a bunch of piss, crap, blood, and rotted human flesh along with various other things that I'd rather not think about." She shrugged. "Maybe I think about it too much but you're not getting me in that water."

Kitty and Rogue just stared. Neither girl had really wanted to hear any of that, especially after swimming in it. They both suddenly felt very gross and wished that they had decided to stay home that day like good children.

"Amara…" Kitty said slowly, "you were right. You do think about it too much."

"I'm gonna be sick," Rogue held a hand to her stomach.

"What?" Amara had no idea why they were both looking green.

"You-" Rogue started but then cut off when a football landed on the ground next to her. She looked over and just blinked in confusion before Kitty gasped.

"Oh my God," she squealed quietly. "That totally hot guy just threw his football over here! I bet he did it on purpose. I bet he wants to come over here and get it back."

"Why don't you look and see?" Rogue asked and was turning to see if anyone was coming over but Kitty grabbed her by both upper arms and jerked her back around.

"No!" she hissed. "Don't look! If you do he'll know we're talking about him!"

"So what?" Rogue attempted to pry her arms from Kitty's grasp but the girl was stronger than she looked. "Let go of me you robot!"

"I will if you don't look."

"Fine!"

"He is heading over here," Amara told them happily.

"You looked?" Kitty asked, horrified.

"Of course I did. He's cute too. He's got red hair. Or is that strawberry blond? Either way it's pretty."

"Stop looking!" Kitty told her.

Rogue stared distastefully at the football. This boy probably had thrown it on purpose but that wasn't what bothered her. What bothered her was her ever present hate of football. Why did they have to be throwing a stupid football of all things? What ever happened to the good ol' Frisbee? Would he miss it if Rogue picked it up and threw it into the ocean? Maybe a shark would come up and tear it to pieces. That would be enjoyable to watch. She hated football that much.

"Oh, hi there," the boy came up to them and bent next to Rogue to pick up his ball and smiled at them. He wasn't much to look at (he certainly didn't fit Kitty's description of 'totally like buff beach bod') but he wasn't unpleasant to look at either. His hair was strawberry blond and his eyes blue and he had a very round, boyish face. His body was lean and a little on the skinny side but was fit and he had a few muscles to show off. Rogue suspected that he was probably a year younger than her or right at her age. "I'm sorry," he told them, "I overthrew my ball."

"That's ok," Kitty gushed and Rogue grimaced at her tone. "I'm sure it's hard not to overthrow when you've got such strong looking arms."

Rogue rolled her eyes. She had thought that she was getting sick before with Amara's speech, but this was much worse. And if that wasn't bad enough, then the boy said-

"Oh they're nothing, really. Would you like to feel for yourself though?"

"Yeah, like, totally!" Kitty stood and walked around to him, eagerly reaching a hand out and gripping his bicep. "Ooo, that's a lot stronger than it looks."

Probably because he was flexing it as hard as he could, but no one mentioned this. Rogue looked away. The scene unfolding in front of her was too painful too watch, it physically hurt her eyes to see it. Amara was just discreetly giggling behind her hand.

"Would you girls like to feel?" The boy asked politely.

Rogue couldn't help herself. She scoffed rudely and Amara just giggled harder.

"No thanks," Rogue told him. "I think I'll pass."

"Are you sure?" He asked. "This is a perfect opportunity for me to act big headed and display what little muscles I have."

She didn't laugh, only gave him a very forced looking smile because that had been exactly what she was thinking. "That's ok; I don't feel up strange guys."

"Oh, well in that case, my name is Adam. Want to feel me up now?"

Rogue just stared at him. He obviously thought he was cute whereas she was starting to realize that he kind of looked like Pippi Longstocking's pervert twin brother. That is, if Pippi Longstocking had had a pervert twin brother. Perhaps she should tell him this. Maybe she should ask if he knew Pippi. Maybe she should stop thinking about girls with pigtails and freckles and come back to the present.

And maybe it was completely unfair but he was on of those people—she was experiencing one of those moments. He hadn't really said much and he hadn't done anything to her. But Rogue automatically disliked him. His demeanor wasn't imposing or intimidating, he was acting perfectly nice (albeit annoying as he could get) but there was something about this boy that told her not to trust him. Something in her gut made her feel uneasy.

It was probably nothing though. It was probably because he was so annoying.

"No thank you," She said a little more firmly. Maybe that would get the message through.

"Oh come on Rogue," Kitty said as she gave his arm another squeeze. "It won't kill you."

"I'll kill you," Rogue muttered.

"What's that?" Kitty asked.

"Nothin!" Rogue stood and dusted sand off of her thighs. "I'm going back to swim in the piss and human flesh. See ya."

She didn't look back as she walked away, but she could hear Amara behind her giggling loudly and Kitty sounding embarrassed and saying, "She's kind of weird…"

After spotting where Remy was currently swimming, she started to go back in just as Kurt was coming out. But he stopped before he was totally out of the water and after looking up at the beach, turned to her.

"Who's that?" he asked.

"Some guy whose not funny and not cute and can't take no for an answer." She replied brightly.

"Oh…" he trailed off and his eyebrows came together. "He's talking to Kitty."

"Yeah, she's being very Kitty rightnow if ya' know what I mean. I had to leave." She made a retching sound. "Are you getting out?"

Kurt stared up at the shore for another moment before shaking his head. "Nope. Let's go attack Remy and Tabby."

"You ok?" She asked, worried about his demeanor. He didn't seem as happy as he had been earlier…

"I'm fine," he shrugged and then leaned down to splash her with water. "Come on," he grinned, "Let's go attack Remy."

His manner and voice were playful but as Rogue followed him she couldn't help but notice that he was no where near as animated as he had been earlier…

To Be Continued...