2001

Ashley couldn't take her gaze off of Emma. Here she was, fifteen years old and more timid than a mouse and then there was Emma, who was almost ten years younger than she was about as loud and headstrong as she'd heard most Shadowhunters where.

She wished these guys knew her better, knew how to read her thoughts… She didn't want to learn how to talk. She'd known how, at one point, but it had been so long since she'd felt any urge to talk that she wasn't sure she'd recognize it if it was a brick wall and she ran into it full force.

Still… she knew normal people needed to talk. Needed to socialize. But she couldn't bring herself to do it. She smiled shyly at Emma before looking to the one who had welcomed her in and introduced her to everyone. She wanted to get out of the spotlight, to make everyone forget she was here.

"Why isn't she talking?" the Carstair girl asked. "Can she not talk?" the boy, Julian, if she recalled right, whispered something in Emma's ear and Ashley felt like shrinking more into herself.

"Don't be so rude, Emma." someone chastised the girl. "You'll scare her away before her first hour is up." The voice came from the eldest Blackthorn child. Ashley looked away from the crowd.

"Sorry about Emma." Helena said softly, coming to stand in front of her. "She gets into more problems than should physically be possible."

The blind Shadowhunter finally dragged her eyes from the ground and looked at Helena, comprehending of the first time, that the Blackthorn was part Faerie. So there was at least two odd ones. They were both more than humane, more than just a Shadowhunter. "You can choose any room, really. We'd all love you to choose a room closer to us, of course, but that doesn't mean you can't-"

Ashley smiled softly, Helena was trying to be as kind as possible to her, but that hardly meant a thing. She subtly gestured to the stairs and the younger Shadowhunter seemed to get what she was asking. Thankfully.

Helena lead Ashley towards the rooms, the silence wasn't awkward and it seemed like they both were equally reserved.

As she was leading by the rooms, the Half-Fae didn't have to explain whose room was whose. She knew, without a doubt, where each child, and adult, slept. She could feel the rooms of those yet to be born.

Ashley stopped outside a room, feeling drawn to it. Helena noticed the change and stopped. They weren't far from the others, in deed the room that was going to be hers was next to Helena's.

"Do you want this room?" Helena asked softly. She pushed open the door and Ashley knew she had chosen the right room. It felt right. It would take some time for it to truly be her own, but she was sure it would feel homey in no time.

Ashley turned her gaze to the other girl, hoping she got the clue that she wanted to be alone. With the soft click of the door closing, she finally relaxed. To many changes in one day. To many strange emotions. She wasn't used to kids, and Emma made her more than a little nervous.

If she just stayed, locked up in her room, they wouldn't notice she's missing. Probably. Most likely they would, but she didn't plan on getting close. She wasn't going to get close to these kids. She wasn't going to trust anyone.

Her heart sputtered at the thought of not seeing Malcolm again. Yes, she would have to stay far, far, far, away from the others. At least while she gathered her bearings and was able to be the frost she grew up in.

Rubbing her face, she put her suitcase in the corner and refused to unpack. She put her whip on the dresser. She moved over to the window and noticed the sun had started to go down. She wondered what time it was.

She was hungry. Or at least she thought she should be. Who knew how long it was since she'd last eaten? How long had she been hiding in her room? Hopefully not long, because she had no sense of time in this place.

She rummaged through her suitcase, trying to find her training clothes. Officially, when she was training, she was supposed to wear the field uniform (if nothing more than to get used to fighting in it). However, on her own time, she could wear whatever she wanted. Like if she wanted to take out some pent up anger or some emotion in the training room, then she could wear whatever she wanted.

She pulled out a sports bra, a tight-fitting spaghetti strap, her yoga sweats, and sneakers. She quickly changed before softly opening the door. She heard voices from down the hall, and the clatter of plates and silverware.

The smell of homemade food drifted over to her and her stomach growled in protest. She ignored the hunger and turned toward the pull of the training room. If felt like a long walk, and maybe that was because of having not wanted a tour of her new, temporary, home. You're assuming the Clave will let you live anywhere else besides the Institutes, the island, or Idris.

Her fists clenched at the thought of never being free of this God-Forsaken world. She'd be free, she'd make sure of it. They can try to treat her as an equal, but she remembered them wanting to kill her. She remembered what she'd gone through as a child, why she refused to talk and why she couldn't see.

Angrily, she pulled her hair into a messy bun, almost tearing her hair hour in the process. It had been years since she'd felt such a powerful surge of anger and hate. Oh, she knew it was there and she knew it was a part of her being- the anger and hate boiled in the pit of her stomach every waking hour, maybe even when she slept. She didn't know what she felt when she was unconscious.

She turned and slammed her fist into the wall she was walking by. The pain of the impact pulled her back from the dark emotions she was starting to feel. She didn't want to be pulled back into the spiraling pit. The Sisters had helped her get out of it the first few times it had happened… after that, she'd had to learn how to help herself in that regard.

She could feel the blood running down her knuckle and she took a deep breath before continuing on her way to take out more emotion on an undeserving punching back.

Ashley made sure her blood didn't drip onto the floor and when she got to where she was going, she made her way over to where the first-aid kit had to be.

Shaking, she tightly wrapped the bloody thing before pushing it out of her mind.

She started with stretches before making her way over to the weapons' rack. What did she want to work on? She wanted to pick up a bow and arrow but it was illogical to even think about it. She wouldn't be able to predict where her enemy was going to be.

This is just practice, Ashley, pick up that bow and arrow and learn how to use it, even if it won't be any use in the future.

Ashley wasn't sure if it would be a good idea to use a two handed weapon after bloodying her hand. It wasn't like she'd be able to do properly hold it. Maybe learning how to throw daggers and swords would be ideal. Her whip was, in a way, a long range weapon, even if it was closer to her than other long range weapons would be.

She picked up a dagger. It felt to uneven in her hand, so she put it back and tried again. She didn't know how many she'd tried before finding the right one. Once she found the right one, she heard voices drift down the hall.

She froze and wondered if someone had seen where she'd gone. She shook her head, trying to clear the worry. So what, if they did then she could just threaten them with a dagger. Admittedly, she would have preferred her weapon of choice but that was neither here nor there.

The door pushed open and she curled her lips. She didn't want to be bothered, not by anyone. She wasn't a team player. She wasn't someone who played well with other Nephilim. She acted, and sometimes pretend, but if she had a choice in the matter she never would have chosen this life.

"Ashley!" called Helena, "Have you been in here the whole time? We were looking for you when we sat down to eat. I went to your room and you weren't there…" she paused. "We haven't started eating, and the foods still fresh, if you want to join us."

Ashley shook her head and could feel the disappointment coming off of Helena. "If you insist, then." And Helena left, her younger brother following close behind.

She couldn't help but growl at where the two elder Blackthorn siblings had been. Why did they insist on trying to be friendly when she wanted nothing to do with them. She turned and flung the dagger as hard as she could, not caring about hitting a target, or anything in particular.

It fell short of hitting the wall and landed on the floor with a thud. She glared at it, as if it were the cause of all the turmoil she felt.

She stalked over to the dummies, started beating on one of them until her bloody knuckle hurt and her other one was throbbing.

She started kicking it. She started biting it. She started abusing it until it was as broken as she felt.

"My God, Ashley." she spun on her heels and glared at the intruder. Didn't they know she was busy? Couldn't they see she needed to get whatever emotion she was feeling out of her system?

Honestly, she couldn't sense who it was and she blamed it on the emotion fogging everything. As long as she didn't have to abuse their training supplies on a daily bases to keep herself under control, she'd be happy.

"Why did you destroy that dummy?" the voice was just words. Ashley stayed firmly in her spot, not showing any response to the words. She heard footsteps coming towards her and she took a step back. The person didn't stop coming towards her.

When they got to close to her and, if they had wanted to, they could have touched her and she wouldn't have been able to stop her natural response to punch whoever was touching her and make them regret ever laying a finger on her when she didn't let them know that it was OK to touch her.

Thankfully, they clearly knew enough not to try and have physical contact with her.

"You can feel, you know. It isn't bad to feel."

Of course it was. Feeling lead to weakness and pain. That's why she couldn't be close to anyone. The Iron Sisters were different, they were secluded, they couldn't be hurt.

Her fist snaked out, trying to hit her target. The other person's face would have been ideal, but they dodged it.

And suddenly, she was in her first fight with someone she couldn't sense (it was actually her first fight that wasn't staged and she didn't think she'd be asked what she had done wrong afterwards).

She was already worn out from her earlier training. Despite being an excellent fighter (in her opinion), she was soon on her back, her head hitting the floor first and she had to bite back a cry. Her arms and legs were pinned to the floor and she didn't try to fight her way out.

Ashley couldn't hold back her glare and she heard a sigh of relief from the other person. "You're so … different when you show no emotion. It's unnerving. Mark and I can read you, even if we haven't known each other for a day." her heart sped up. They couldn't read her. It wasn't possible. It couldn't be possible.

She hadn't spent more than ten minutes in the same room with Mark or Helena or any of the Blackthorns, really.

"I know what you're thinking, Ashley, you don't think we could know you so well… and you're right. We don't know you, but we can learn more about each other. We can communicate with you, and us you, we'd just have to train with each other."

Ashley didn't want to train with anyone. She wanted to train alone, she wanted to be alone. If she could figure out what memory she'd seen when she'd arrived in LA… then maybe she could learn to trust others.

A.N

BLACKTHORN GRAYROSE

Gray is a shade of Black

Rose comes before Thorn

I DEFINITELY DIDN'T MEAN TO DO THIS BUT NOW I HAVE TO GO WITH THEM BEING THE BEST OF BUDDIES. IT WAS GOING TO BE A RAVENROSE WHICH WOULD HAVE STILL BEEN A SIGN OMG