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For a moment they were hesitant but soon they were kissing passionately, desperately, pressing their bodies close. Jess's hand was on Rory's back and he was pushing her onto his chest. Rory kissed him harder and harder, knees buckling, pressing herself onto him. What are you doing? a voice screamed in her mind as she reached up to run a hand through his hair. Rory ignored it. She was kissing Jess and didn't want to stop, couldn't stop, she hadn't kissed him since she was eighteen, never kissed anyone this fiercely before. Rory allowed Jess to steer her towards the counter were he leaned against her with a groan. Rory was relieved, no longer trusting her legs to hold her up, and let out a loud moan as Jess moved onto her neck. He was already hard and she wrapped her legs around his. His breath was dizzying and Rory slipped a hand under his shirt. His skin was hot to touch and Jess gasped.

"Sorry," Rory said sheepishly as he looked at her. "Was my hand cold?"

"Yes, but...fuck," Jess said. "What are we doing?"

"I don't know," Rory said truthfully. He moved away slightly, to her disappointment, carefully retrieving his hands.

"Do you want to stop?" Jess asked, breathing heavily. "Should we slow down?"

"Probably," Rory said quietly. It was the sensible thing to do. She and Jess hadn't talked, hadn't thought anything through and she herself didn't know what to think. Rory slowly slid off the counter. She noticed, to her mild embarrassment, that her underwear was wet.

"Maybe we should talk," Jess said, his breathing even again. Rory nodded.

"Talking's good."

Jess got two glasses from a cupboard and the bottle of whiskey Rory remembered from her first visit there. She went and sat down in her usual seat and Jess followed, handing her a glass. She grinned at the sight of the whiskey and Jess blushed.

"It was the first thing I saw."

"I don't mind."

Rory took the whiskey and drank it, Jess doing the same. She noticed that his hand was trembling. He finished the glass and put it down, grimacing slightly.

"As bad as you remember?" Rory teased. Jess laughed.

"Oh, yeah."

They smiled and fell silent again. Jess moved his chair to face Rory's and looked her in the eye.

"So," he said awkwardly. "This."

"Yeah."

"Us."

Rory nodded and Jess let out a small laugh.

"The guy who's published a novel, ladies and gentlemen."

"You don't need a lot of words," Rory said, making him laugh. "Hey, that's a compliment!"

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yes! You're always to the point. You don't try and impress people with long speeches or grand gestures, you're just..." Rory's voice faltered as she saw how Jess was looking at her. "You're just you."

Jess smiled, making her blush.

"You never babble," Rory added. "You don't know much I envy that."

"I like it when you babble," Jess said. "It's very impressive."

"Impressive?"

"How much you can say in under a minute."

"Oh, thanks!" Rory exclaimed, laughing, and Jess said,

"No, I like to hear you talk."

"Thanks," Rory said, serious this time. Jess took her hand.

"So," he said, looking into her eyes. "We should talk."

Rory nodded. She couldn't speak. Jess's touch was warm and sending currents up and down her body.

"What we're doing," Jess continued, his voice less steady than before. "How we should..."

He stopped, staring into her eyes and Rory prompted,

"Take it from here?"

Jess nodded, not breaking her gaze.

"Take it from here."

"We should probably take things slow," Rory said. "If we're even...I don't know."

"Right," Jess said, rubbing his hand across hers. "Slow."

Rory felt as though she were about to break. She knew that if she moved any closer she'd fall yet she leaned over, losing herself in his eyes. Jess caressed her hand over and over and, just as she started to lose her balance Jess caught her. The chair fell behind Rory but neither noticed. Jess kissed her hard and Rory managed to gasp,

"We can talk later."

Jess nodded but didn't say anything. His chair tipped over and he and Rory knelt together, oblivious. They kissed hungrily and soon Rory felt Jess grow hard again, pushing against her. She lay down on the hardwood floor and Jess ran his hands over her, slipping off her shirt and unhooking her lace bra. Rory helped Jess take off his shirt and then he was cupping her breasts with his hands, sucking at her nipples. Rory's breath grew ragged and she stopped herself from crying out as she ran her hands over his back. Even as teenagers all those years ago she and Jess had never gone this far. They'd felt each other up during heavy makeout sessions and once, just once, Rory had let Jess touch her breasts with her bra on but he'd never seen them, never kissed them like this. It should be feeling different, new, yet it didn't seem strange at all. All Rory wanted Jess to do was to keep touching her, their pact to take things slow forgotten.

Jess stopped and sat up, unbuttoning Rory's pants and she sat up too, helping him take them off.

"Are you sure?" he asked, his hands in the waistband of her underpants. "Do you want to do this?"

"Yes," Rory said fiercely, leaning up to kiss him. "Do you?"

Jess's smile showed he didn't harbour any doubts. He kissed her back and slipped a hand into her underwear, now soaked through, sliding his fingers inside her. Rory fell back down, moving against them, and was unable to stop herself from gasping as she came. Jess took his hand away, wiped it on her breast and licked it, sending another rush of pleasure through her. Rory sat up and smiled at Jess.

"What is it?"

"You're so beautiful," he said, staring at her. "Even more than I imagined."

"You imagined me naked?" Rory teased, though she didn't want to laugh. Jess blushed.

"Not like...I just knew you'd be beautiful. And you are."

Rory didn't want to tease him this time. She moved over and kissed him again, enjoying the sensation of her breasts against his chest, their skin together, and reached down to unbutton Jess's pants.

"Wait," he panted, surprising her. "Hold on."

Rory did so and Jess got up and disappeared into his bedroom, returning shortly with a condom.

"Before we get too carried away," he said. He unbuttoned his pants, pulled them off, and Rory helped him roll on the condom. It felt strange, for a moment, them being naked together, but then Jess started kissing her again and Rory's shyness disappeared. She reached down and held his penis, moving forward and sliding it between her breasts. Jess caught his breath as she moved back and forth, letting out a hoarse sound and roughly grabbing her hips. Rory stopped only when Jess released them, moving his hand back between her legs and arching his fingers inside. Rory lay back down against the floor, closing her eyes as Jess thrust his fingers inside her. She wondered, fleetingly, if she should be stopping, if this was wrong, but it was washed away as a wave of lust ripped through her. Rory couldn't remember when she'd last felt so aroused, so alive and she thrust too as Jess touched her clitoris, rubbing it over and over. She opened her eyes as the urge surged through again to see Jess kneeling by her, his skin flushed.

"Sure?" he asked breathlessly and Rory nodded. She needed no clarification. She sat up, put her arms around his shoulders and wrapped her legs around his waist, his penis pressed against her. Jess looked straight into her eyes and pushed in.

Rory gasped silently, digging her fingers into his back as he moved. At first it was gentle but soon Jess moved more quickly, roughly, and Rory moved with him, their bodies finding a rhythm. His chest was heaving against hers, breath erratic and skin throbbing and Rory wondered if she seemed the same, so nervous yet sure at the same time. Someone was saying something, making a sound and it took a moment for Rory to realise it was her, swearing under her breath, fuck, fuck, fuck. She wasn't cursing because she wanted to stop, she knew. This was more than an urge, a whim, this was need and she bit her lip as he placed his hand on her back.

It was getting harder to keep balance. Rory's legs were beginning to tremble, her hands losing their grip and, noticing, Jess stopped, sliding out, and Rory lay down on the floor. She stretched back gratefully and Jess whispered,

"Are you okay?" and Rory nodded, wanting his touch again. She reached for him, spread her legs out and Jess pushed inside. The angle was wider and it felt better as Jess thrust deeper inside her, pushing her hair back and planting a kiss on her neck. Rory gasped and wove her legs around him, closing her eyes as he squeezed her breasts, her nipples taut in his palms. They didn't speak and Rory didn't trust herself to try. She knew she was going to come and Jess was too, despite never having sex with him before. He was closing his eyes, his breaths shorter, reminding Rory of the time they'd made out in the back of his car and she'd touched his penis on impulse through his jeans. Jess had groaned and she'd quickly retracted her hand, embarrassed. She thought about doing it again and never did, never needed to. Jess went to California two weeks later.

Rory was jolted back to reality. This was beyond anything she'd pictured at eighteen, evocative daydreams brushed with guilt, things she'd told herself she shouldn't be thinking about. This was more than any teenage musing she'd indulged in and it was crazy, impossible but it was happening, she was having sex with Jess Mariano on his living room floor. Rory locked eyes with him, pushed back even harder and wondered who would be first to break. Jess smiled shyly, his hands in her hair and kissed her neck, making her lose thought again.

Jess came first. Rory felt it, the final push and rush inside her, the liquid helplessly trapped. Jess groaned and Rory kept moving until he nibbled her shoulder, making her come too. Rory let out a small cry and he carefully moved out her, the condom full. Rory helped him take it off and looked away as he tied it up.

"I'll take care of this," he told her and she nodded, watching him walk away. Rory looked up and saw all of Jess's books surrounding them and blushed, as though they could tell. It was strange to think their secret was added to the stories hidden in the pages. It somehow felt like fiction itself, something she'd imagined, but her body bore his marks and the wooden floor was still hot from their touch. A milky smear of come was pooled in the middle and as Rory looked more streamed down her thigh. She could still feel his push inside her.

Jess returned shortly, wearing a pair of boxers. He was carrying the quilt from his bedroom and carefully placed it around Rory's shoulders. Rory took it gratefully, hugging it tight around her shoulders. She'd been so hot she was sweating but, as she held the material to her skin, she suddenly felt chilled through. Jess helped her tuck it over her legs and she whispered, "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Jess nodded. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Rory said truthfully but he still looked at her quizzically.

"You are?"

"I feel a little weird," Rory admitted. "Don't you?"

"Weird in a bad way?" Jess asked in a concern and she shook her head, smiling.

"No. You didn't answer."

"Only in the best kind of way. Did we really have sex?"

Rory leaned up and kissed his cheek, deciding it would be crude to mention the mess on his floor.

"I'm on the pill," she told him. "We probably don't need condoms."

"I had a check-up last month," Jess said. "I won't...you know, give you anything."

"Same here."

They smiled awkwardly and Rory opened the quilt, letting Jess share it. He slipped it over his shoulder and nestled close to her. Their skin was touching again but it wasn't the rough, desperate heat of before. It felt gentle and comforting and Rory leaned her head against his. They sat in silence, the scent of the books all around them and Jess found her hand. He took it and Rory slipped her fingers into his. The air felt different and a glance to the window showed it was raining outside.

"There was thunder before," Jess said and Rory looked at him in surprise.

"I didn't even hear it."

He smiled and Rory laughed in embarrassment.

"It's getting late," Jess said as the water lashed the panes. "Do you want to go to bed?"

"You don't think I should go home?"

Jess looked at her, squeezing her hand.

"I don't want you to go," he said. "But I'll get it if you want to. I'll walk you back."

"I don't want to leave," Rory said honestly. She knew it would make more sense to go back but she wanted to stay, sleep with Jess. Tonight had stopped making sense a long time ago. He smiled at her.

"Let's go," he said. They stood up together, keeping the quilt around them and lay down on his bed. Rory opened her mouth to try and make conversation but found she had no words. Jess smiled, seemed to understand and lay his body close to hers. Rory closed her eyes, intending to open them in a moment but soon she was asleep in peaceful dreams, her hand held in Jess's through the night.