A/N: So I'm glad that everyone liked the appearance of Pyro! He's one of my favorite characters and I think I had way too much fun writing this chapter. Thanks so much for the reviews! I love reading them :)

Remy's Diabolical Plan

Chapter Sixteen: The Diabolical Fiery Monkey Wrench

~X~

"Pyro?" Rogue said as a feeling of utter disbelief washed over her. There was no excuse that her mind could immediately conjure up to explain this odd and out-of-place meeting. The last time she had seen this man...if she was honest with herself she really couldn't remember the last time she saw him, but she did remember vaguely that he had been wielding a flame thrower and laughing insanely while throwing said flames at the X-men. That was probably all she really needed to remember.

And now here he was in the women's bathroom of a nice restaurant talking about setting fire to the toilets. She really couldn't figure why he would want to set fire to a toilet, nor how exactly you might go about setting fire to a toilet. There was one thing she did know, however. And that was that she was confused. She didn't know what was going on. So essentially, she didn't know anything, rendering the previous statement false.

"What are you...Why..." Not knowing where she should start, Rogue blinked a few times and then glanced into the mirror, jumping when she saw her own reflection. Her hair really did look insane now.

"Well to be honest, I didn't come to this here establishment to set fire to the pot there." A thumb was pointed to the stall behind him as he casually strolled to the sink and began washing his hands. "I was just gonna start an innocent little blaze under one o' the tables, but my sheila caught me and she's all, "don't go starting that fire where I'm sitting!" and then we got into a tiff 'bout it, cause' I just can't help making her mad, seein' as how she's all cute when she's tryin' to kill me."

He ripped a paper towel out of it's holder and continued his story, not noticing that Rogue was staring at him as if he was insane. Which he was.

"An' then she left all mad-like, cause' I tried to pull my cute and Aussie act, an' she didn't like that too much. So I came to the loo here, which at the time I thought was the fellas room, sorry again—and I started to set fire to the toilet. And that turned out to be pointless, so I just sat down and listened to two people arguing and such, and hear I am now, talking to you." Throwing his paper towel away, he turned to stare at her fully, his arms crossed over his chest. "By the way, you look sorta familiar, have we met? I coulda sworn I've seen your face before."

There...were no words. Rogue just stood and stared at him once he had finished his long-winded and pointless story. Really...why was there no reaction on his part when she had known his name? Or his code name anyway. She had no idea what his real name was.

"I'm one of the X-men." She said without preamble, at first attempting to put at least a little bit of pride in her tone, but then giving up when she realized that she still sounded incredulous...and her hair still looked like an eagle had made a nest in it.

An orange eyebrow rose at this declaration. "An X-man, eh? And what might you be doing here?"

"None of your business." She replied defiantly.

"Hey now, no need to get all, raaar on me." He made a sound like an angry cat. Then he narrowed his eyes and bent down to her level, moving in uncomfortably close to her face, studying her curiously. "But that ain't it, sheila, there's another reason I recognize you."

Uncomfortable, she leaned away but he only moved in closer. "Didn't you kick my arse once? In a factory or somethin'?"

"In a..." she trailed off as she cast him a confused expression. "If I kicked your ass, shouldn't you remember it?" She really had no idea what he was talking about. Sure she recognized him but she sure as hell didn't remember ever beating him up.

"You'd think." he said as he continued to draw his face closer to hers, his eyes still narrowed. "Aha!" He stopped moving and snapped his fingers. "Now I remember! You're the sheila that Rems was always goin' on about."

Startled, she stared at him in shock. "What?"

"Yeah, yeah," thankfully he bent back up to his normal height. "Then again it was really only once he was talking 'bout you, an' he said something bout' how nice your arse was an' I disagreed cause' I thought your rack was way betta."

Rogue glared. Of course this was the 'nice' things that Remy had said about her. The jerk. But then while she was annoyed by this, she couldn't help feeling a little flattered. Though she would never tell anyone that. Especially not Remy. And really not Pyro, who was standing there and telling her all this as if he really thought she wanted to hear it. The idiot.

"That's..." she rubbed at her eyes to massage away the sudden headache she was suffering. "That's great. Really. Now, I've got to get back to my..." her voice choked on the word. "Date."

"Ol' Jackie boy, eh'? You two kids have fun!"

The man couldn't remember when and where she had beat him up but he could remember hearing Jack's name when she had been talking to Kitty? Rogue inwardly groaned. Not at how insane Pyro was, but because she remembered that Jack was sitting happily at the table and waiting for her to return. If only the ceiling would collapse on him, or he would have a heart attack or—suddenly a thought struck her. It might be stupid, it might not work, and she was most certainly going to regret it later. But at this moment, she was so desperate to find a way out of her situation, that she would try nearly anything.

"Help me!" She pleaded, clasping her hands in front of her and staring up at Pyro while making the face.

"Kay." He replied cheerfully without thinking.

"Wait." Dropping her hands, she was unsure. "You're not gonna think about it?"

"Why would I do that? Watcha need?"

"Uh...I want you to help me get out of this date. This guy I'm with is really annoyin and if I spend any more time with him, I'll end of committing murder or somethin."

"Kay', I can do that. What do ya want me to do?"

"Anything," she pleaded, "just get me out of here."

"Well, you seem like you need the help aaaand you've still got a nice rack-" Rogue glared, "-so I'll help ya. But only if you help me with something too."

Rogue didn't have to think about it, though she probably really, really should. But she couldn't see the harm in it. It wasn't like Magneto was around anymore. Maybe Pyro, like Remy, had changed? And...setting fire to restaurants was just his way of...changing.

"A favor for a favor? Deal." She stuck her hand out and Pyro, cackling evilly, shook it. "By the way, the name's Johnny, John Allerdyce."

Gripping her hand, he jerked her forward until their faces were mere inches apart. "Alright then lass," he began, his eyes wide and insane, "This is what we'll do..."

~X~

Rogue grumpily walked back to the table where everyone was waiting for her, straightening her hair as she went. For about two seconds she had been grateful that she had found help out of this situation. Now she was irritated beyond belief because all Pyro had said was, 'This is what we'll do...' before he ran out of the bathroom, laughing like a maniac. How, exactly, was she supposed to take that? Was he running away and ditching her or was he trying to be funny or was he setting up a plan?

Whatever he was doing, he better not be ditching her. Or else she would...not...be able to do...anything. Frustrated, she growled to herself before rounding the corner and throwing herself back into her chair. Ignoring the look Kitty was sending her, she opened her menu.

"That took a while." Jack smiled. "Is everything all right?"

"Sorry," she said without looking at him. "I have the runs."

"Rogue!" Kitty gasped.

Jack just laughed softly as though this were a pleasant conversation. "You are so wonderfully different from the norm, Rogue. I like you so much."

At this, her heart softened a little bit. Maybe she had been too quick to judge him...

"And don't worry about that," he motioned to her menu. "I've already ordered for you."

She gripped the menu so hard that it bent backwards at a weird angle. "You did what?" She hissed. She hated him! She hated him! She hated him!

"Yes." He nodded, smiling. "I ordered you the catfish meal."

And she HATED catfish! What the hell was WRONG with this kid? How did he somehow manage to do everything that she hated?

Her knuckles turning white, her voice came out through her teeth in an odd cracked way that she had never heard before. "That's...that's really freakin nice of you." Where the hell was Pyro? Desperately she cast her eyes around the restaurant for him while slamming the menu down on the table's surface. He was no where to be seen. That's it. She was going to kill him.

"Rogue!" Kitty spoke quickly, as if sensing danger. "Have you like, seen any good movies lately?"

"No."

"What about you, Adam?" She asked Jeepers Creepers politely.

He smiled creepily. "Actually, the other day I watched Pippi Longstocking for the first time ever. Kind of a stupid movie, actually."

"The only kind of movies I really like are musicals," Jack said this while casting a sidelong glance at Rogue, like he expected her to agree with him.

But unbeknownst to him, Rogue hated musicals with a fiery passion. That was it. He had to die. Insanely, she grabbed the handle of her knife, only for a loud, Australian voice to cut through the din and reach her ears.

"Oi! There's my girl." Nonchalantly, Pyro swaggered over to their table, pulled up an extra chair against Rogue's and sat down with them, swinging an arm around her shoulders. "Heya," he wiggled the fingers of his free hand at Kitty who was staring open-mouthed.

"Um-uh, Johnny," Rogue said weakly, a blush lighting up her cheeks when he started nuzzling her neck playfully. "What are you doin here?"

"Sheila," he pulled back, seriousness now etched upon his features. Gently, he touched two fingers to her chin and turned her face to his. "I came to beg for your forgiveness. If you'll will give it to me, that is. Look now, I know all those things I said that night—they were wrong, love. That was bad o' me, I know that night, underneath the stars...I know it was your first time. No-" he pressed a finger to her lips when she started to fire an angry retort. "You don't gotta say a thing. I know I was wrong an' I know ya love me. Please, take me back and I'll prove it to you." His eyes no longer held the insane look they had earlier. Now they were completely sincere as they bore into her own. For a moment Rogue almost forgot everyone else around them.

"Please," he drew in closer. "I promise ya, love. I'll spend every day for the rest of our lives, proving how much I love you. I know it'll be hard. You're an X-man and I'm just a pyromaniac Aussie. We live on the same earth, but in two different worlds. But If I have to build you our own world to live in, by God, I swear right now in front of everyone, I swear it on my life, I will build you that world. I would do anything and everything for you. I love you."

There was dead silence. Everyone in the restaurant had stilled and every eye was turned on them, some of the women and at least two men were crying. But Rogue didn't even notice any of them. She just couldn't believe how well Pyro was pulling this off. He must be crazier than she had initially thought. Now a little uncomfortable, she wiggled in her chair and cleared her throat.

"O-ok." She responded unsurely.

Pyro's face broke into a grin. And then, oh-so-casually, as if he had every right to do so, he pulled her towards him and locked his lips onto hers, tightening the arm on the back of her neck so that she couldn't get away. It wasn't like she had even thought to try, though, not with how confused she was by this whole thing.

Everyone broke into applause, cheering and whistling, including the people at the table with them, though they were all clapping in a slow and unsure manner.

Rogue didn't notice this, either, as her mind was kind of preoccupied with the tongue in her mouth.

Pyro's kiss was another like she had never experienced before. She had dealt with the dry, football obsessed kiss. She had done the angry, 'I'm going to rape you with my mouth' kiss. She'd had the slobbery wet kiss. And she'd already had the pleasure of Remy's soft, tender, hot kiss that had made every one of her nerve endings stand to attention and made her feel like she was melting.

Pyro's kissing wasn't like any of those. His kiss was fast and playful and tingle inducing, but nothing like the way Remy's had been. Remy's kiss had made her tingle all over, while Pyro's kiss made her mouth relax in pleasure because of that thing he kept doing with his tongue.

But all that did was make her wonder what Remy might be able to do with his tongue.

Aaaand now her mind was going to places that she really didn't want it to go to.

Pyro finally pulled back, ignoring how dizzy she looked, and pulled her up by the hand. "Alright love," he grinned, "Now let's go home so I can make sweet, sweet, love to you all night long."

Flushing wildly and glaring at the back of his orange head, Rogue allowed herself to be dragged out of the restaurant.

To Be Continued...