"I assume they're only targeting the cortex, though? Otherwise they'd risk potentially wiping more than just his episodic memory." I raise a questioning eyebrow.
Chris sighs, and Taye taps her pen against her notebook idly. We still haven't been assigned a new team supervisor, so the three of us are trying to figure out the work ourselves. It's been harder than we anticipated. The notes are filled with a lot of unfamiliar jargon, and none of us specialize in this area of neuroscience. I can see why Michael would have been an asset.
I brush off the thought, unwilling to let any guilt into my heart right now. I need to produce results, or I'll be just like him.
"Play the tape again, Chris." Taye nods towards the TV we're standing around.
He picks up the remote and hits the rewind button till we're back at the beginning of the scene. It's an older clip shot in an unfamiliar lab, with unfamiliar researchers. In the centre of the room, there's a restraining chair and an apparatus much like the one they recently installed in the subject lab downstairs. The subject is seated in the chair. It's hard to tell how old this tape is because he looks almost exactly the same… I'll chalk that up to the cryostasis.
A researcher coolly inserts a retainer into the subject's mouth. He obliges without protest, allowing himself to be pushed back into the chair. A pang of guilt stabs me. He seems far too used to this procedure. It's no wonder he was surprised the first time I asked for his consent to put the electrodes on.
The two arms of the apparatus, sparking with a current, come down around his head and I brace myself. His scream is muffled slightly by the retainer, but though I've seen this clip four times now, I still cringe.
"Seems way too painful to resemble TMS. I think they're using a real electric current. But how are they targeting such a specific part of his brain like that?" Taye shakes her head, staring at her notes like she might find the answer there.
The screams continue, and I can't listen any more.
"Turn it off, turn it off." I rub my temples like that could make the horrible sounds subside. Chris mutes the volume, and the silence brings us back to where we started: nowhere.
"Kenji would have known what it was." Defeated, I sink into a nearby chair, my frown growing into a scowl.
"We'll have to wait till they assign a new supervisor, we can't make sense of all these acronyms and unexplained notations without someone who worked on the project." Chris shakes his head, "I've never seen anything like this before."
"Who do you think coined this technique? We could trace it back to an original paper, maybe figure it out from there. But they won't they tell us who did the initial work that Nikolav picked up." Taye looks between us, her gaze settling finally on me.
She knows that I was one of Dr. Nikolav's students, but why does she look at me like I'm keeping some secret knowledge from her? I've already made it perfectly clear that I didn't know about this work.
I should have asked him more about it when I met him in person, but I didn't think that far ahead at the time.
"Guess we'll have to wait till they finally send someone." Chris shrugs.
We return to our readings in solitude for the time being, but ever since we played that video, my head has been ringing non-stop.
I rub my temples as I stare at the diagram on my screen. My head is throbbing like a painful bass rhythm, and I can't concentrate no matter how much I try. The work will have to wait, at least until I can get rid of this irritating headache. I take my lunch break and head down to the examination room, hoping that Dr. Jones will have some Advil.
When I enter, I find her seated in the corner, filling out a chart.
"Dr. Jones, do you have any Advil?" I note the surprise on her face. It's quickly replaced by a warm smile.
"Of course, dear. I haven't seen you around in a while!" She stands, crossing the room to open a cupboard. As she takes out a white bottle and fills a Styrofoam cup at the water cooler, I examine her closely. She looks exhausted, her frizzy hair more unruly than usual.
"Is everything okay?" I'm not in the position to be worrying about other people, but at least it'll take my mind off my own worries.
"Yep, just swamped with work. You know how it is. I was on standby all night, after what happened to Nick Fury." She hands me the bottle and cup.
"What happened to Nick Fury?" I set the cup down on the examination table and twist the lid off the Advil bottle.
"He was assassinated. They were trying to revive him all night. Unfortunately he passed away." There's a sigh in her voice, and I assume she was acquainted with the man.
"Oh. That's unfortunate." I reply before the weight of her words sinks in. Nick Fury. Assassinated.
Wait, this is a really big deal, right? I mean, the man is basically equal to Alexander Pierce. I've never met him personally, but I've seen him once. He looks like a Class A Badass.
"Have they caught the perpetrator yet?" I shake one of the maroon pills onto my palm, pop it into my mouth and raise the cup of water to my lips.
"Well, no." She sighs, "It's complicated. The only one who saw it happen was Steve Rogers, and now he's on the run. The Strike team is going after him right now."
I falter while swallowing, coughing as the water comes back up. It hurts. I let myself recover from almost choking, waiting for my breathing to return to normal before I speak again.
"Captain America is a fugitive?" the remnants of a cough interrupt my question.
"He's withholding information from Alexander Pierce." Dr. Jones shrugs. She raises an eyebrow at me, a smile tugging at her lips. "Your man is after him right now. How do you feel about that?"
I look at the empty Styrofoam cup in my hands. Don't ask it like that, like I'm supposed to be proud or something. This is Captain America. He's as good as it gets. Why would he be in the wrong? If Pierce and Rumlow are behind it, that means he disagreed with that goal they're trying to advance.
A mirthless smirk pulls at my lips. Well, this shows how little faith I have in my own boyfriend. I'm not being fair. I'm still alive right now, after all. He hasn't given away my secrets, so I feel like I should trust him more.
"Hey now, don't tell me things aren't going well between you? Relationship problems already?" She moves closer, lowering her voice.
Relationship problems? Ha. I wish it were that simple. I can deal with commitment issues or cheating or boredom. There's none of that here.
It's more difficult, because there's nothing wrong with us. If he had been anyone else, I would have thought he was perfect… But I don't know who he is. And as I find out little by little, I see a man I've never known. A man with a guarded past and an even more guarded future. One that I'm not sure I fit into.
I don't fear him because of what he's done—he's only ever been gentle and patient with me—but because of what he's capable of.
"Do you want me to have a word with him?"
I almost forgot Dr. Jones had been speaking to me, I was so lost in my own thoughts. She stares at me now, a grave frown on her face, missing the usual sparkle in her eyes. It's clear that my silence concerned her.
"No, no. He's fine. He's great. He's just… more than I bargained for." I shrug, offering a smile.
A look of relief comes over her.
"Good." She smiles. "I was ready to cuff him on the ear for making you upset."
I smile, not because of the image (which is funny, to be honest), but because I completely believe her.