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Rory slowly opened her eyes. The little light in the room seemed blinding and Rory groaned. Her throat tasted like sandpaper and her stomach felt sick.

"Good morning, sleepyhead!"

"Mom?" Rory asked blearily, sitting up and regretting the sudden movement. "What are you doing here?"

Lorelai was sitting in a chair facing the bed, dressed smartly with a smile on her face. Rory didn't have a mirror but she had a feeling she looked a lot less presentable.

"What am I doing here?" Lorelai laughed. "I'm here to check you haven't puked on yourself in the night!"

Rory wished she hadn't mentioned vomiting. Her stomach turned and she clapped a hand over her mouth.

"There's water by your bed," Lorelai told her and Rory drank it gratefully, the sick feeling subsiding as she sipped.

"What happened?"

"You don't remember?" Lorelai asked incredulously as Rory replaced the glass. "You had quite an adventure last night."

Rory frowned as memory came back in a blur, the murky bar, too much to drink and Lane leaning over her, taking her home. She sank back against the pillows.

"I'm dying to know," Lorelai remarked. "All I could get from you was that you'd made a new friend called Rick. Who's Rick? Is he your new boyfriend?"

Rory sat back in horror as it all flooded back, along with her conversation with the bartender.

"Oh, God," she cried, hiding her face in her hands. "Oh, God."

"Rory? Are you having a religious experience?"

Rory ignored her. There was bile in her throat which had nothing to do with the alcohol and she groaned,

"I think I'm going to be sick."

"Do it in the bucket, not on the bed," Lorelai advised and Rory opened her eyes to see one stationed beside her on the floor. It sobered her instantly and she said irritably,

"Thanks, I'm fine now."

"Come on, kid," Lorelai said, getting up from her chair and sitting next to Rory on the quilt. "I'm dying to know here. Lane dropped you off last night but she said you should talk about it and you passed out as soon as your head hit the pillow. Come on, spill."

"I'm never going out again," Rory moaned. "I made such an idiot out of myself."

"From what Lane described I don't think you have to worry," Lorelai said, tucking some of her daughter's hair behind her ear. "It doesn't sound like somewhere people of Stars Hollow are going to hang out...or anyone concerned about their hygiene."

"Mom."

"Not that I'm judging," Lorelai said, putting her hands up. "I'm impressed, kid. It's the kind of place I dreamed about going to and shocking my parents with."

"I'm such an idiot. I'm such a moron."

Lorelai looked at her and her teasing tone was gone as she asked,

"Want to talk about it?"

"I had a fight with Jess," Rory said in a small voice. "I got mad and stormed out."

"What about?"

Rory looked at the quilt.

"Rory?"

"Over there," she nodded, pointing at the desk where Logan's letter lay. Lorelai went over, picked up the packaging and frowned, walking back over.

"What's this?"

"Open it."

Lorelai shook it open and the rings, photographs and letter fell out. Rory bit her lip as her mother took them in and said gently,

"Oh, Rory."

"Yeah."

"That's what the parcel was?" Lorelai asked, shaking her head. "He's got quite a nerve, that guy."

"He asked me to come back, in his letter," Rory said in a dull voice. "That if I want, he'll send me a ticket."

Lorelai stared and Rory said, her throat thick,

"He went back to California early. I don't know if...I don't know how I was going to say goodbye but now I can't. He just left. He left without telling me."

"Oh, sweetie."

"And Jess is mad that it bothers me," Rory said haltingly. "And I'm mad that it bothers me. I don't want it to be bother me. I want to move on. I thought I'd moved on."

"Rory, it's not that easy," Lorelai said sadly. "You were married to him, you loved him. These things take time."

"I don't want it to take time!"

"It has to," Lorelai said seriously. "Honey, you can't just flick a switch on your feelings. It's going to hurt."

Rory stared down at the photos, her and Logan hidden in the quilt.

"I don't want to go back," she said. "You know I don't."

"Yes, I know," Lorelai said and Rory swallowed.

"It's why we fought. Me and Jess. He asked if I was thinking about it. I went back before."

Lorelai sighed and Rory's throat felt tight.

"I'm not going to. He didn't understand why I was freaking out."

"It hurts to be reminded."

"Yeah," Rory agreed. "And I started thinking about things. I didn't feel guilty, about me and Jess, and I still don't, but I started thinking about what I'm going to do."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I don't want to go to California but I don't know what to do now. I can't figure it out."

"You and Jess?"

"Yes, me and Jess, but just me. What am I going to do now? I don't have anything figured out."

"Rory, you don't need to worry about that," Lorelai said, putting her hand over hers. "You can stay here."

"Mom, I'm really grateful," Rory said slowly. "And I love living here, but it can't be forever."

"Rory, no one said anything about forever," Lorelai said gently. "You've only just left Logan. I don't want you to putting pressure on yourself."

"I know, it's just...Mom, I'm scared that I don't have a plan. What if this is what I do for the next five years? I work at the bookstore and I live here and I go...I'm with Jess when we feel like it? Do you think it should be something more?"

"Honey, you're the one who should answer that," Lorelai said and Rory nodded. "Is that what you said to Jess?" she asked shrewdly. "Is that why you fought?"

Rory nodded again, miserable, and Lorelai sighed.

"Rory, I don't have all the answers for you. I'll help you, I will always be here, but I can't tell you that. I can give you one piece of advice though."

Rory looked up and Lorelai put her hands on her shoulders.

"You need to stop running away," she said seriously. "I know that it's hard and it's confusing but going to some stinky bar, without telling anyone, and drinking so you don't have to think isn't going to solve anything."

Rory was silent and Lorelai added, in a slightly lighter tone,

"And the hangover certainly isn't worth it."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Lorelai said. "And I know you got it from me."

"I'm not going to make a habit of it."

"I don't mean just by drinking," Lorelai said quietly. Rory stared at her, about to ask further, but then she suddenly remembered it was a week day and sat up straight.

"Oh my God, I have to go to work!"

"Relax, it's still early," Lorelai said and Rory breathed.

"Okay. Good."

"There's a beef burrito in the kitchen," Lorelai said and Rory smiled weakly. She made to get up and stopped as Lorelai looked at her once more.

"Rory, I'm glad you're thinking things through, but you don't have to have it all figured out straightaway."

"I know," Rory said quietly and Lorelai smiled sadly.

"Do you? Rory, you've just left your marriage. It's not going to be fixed right away."

"Is this the part where you tell me to wallow?"

"This is the part where I tell you that it's okay to take some time. It's okay not to have a plan. Eventually, yes, I want you to know, but you don't have to be Wonderwoman. You can just be Rory."

Rory was silent and her mother stroked her hair.

"Lane said she found you on the floor," she said finally. "Want to tell me about that?"

"Well, that explains the backache."

When Rory checked her cellphone later that day she found several messages from Jess and, guiltily, she called to say she'd see him after work. The day seemed to both drag and speed by at the same time and Rory was relieved when it was time to go. It was a hot day and she was glad she'd chosen to wear a light, lilac dress to work. She saw Jess standing by the gazebo, hands in pockets and his hair curling in the heat.

"Hi."

"Hi," he replied. "You okay?"

"Yeah..."

They walked in silence back to his apartment. Rory had recovered from the night before but her head still hurt and she asked for water instead of coffee. Jess gave it to her, brimming with ice, and Rory closed her eyes as she drank. Some of the pain ebbed away.

Jess drummed a tattoo on the back of a chair, looking as nervous as when he was eighteen. Rory finished the water and they looked awkwardly at each other. Jess coughed.

"Do you need some water?" Rory asked, lifting the glass and he shook his head.

"I'm good."

"Good."

Rory put the glass down, sorry that she no longer had something hold. They fell silent and then Jess said,

"I'm sorry I got mad."

"I'm sorry I left."

"Where did you go?"

"A bar," Rory admitted. "I think I made friends with the guy behind it and I know I made a moron out of myself."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I feel like an idiot, but I'm okay. I'm sorry you worried."

"Don't," Jess said shyly. "I feel like an idiot too."

"Two idiots together."

"Yes."

They smiled but Rory felt the tension return as Jess said,

"I wasn't mad you were hurt. I hate that he does that to you."

Rory was silent and he went on,

"Was it because of the letter?"

"What do you mean?"

"All the things you said. Worrying about us."

"Logan's letter made me think about it," Rory said carefully. "But it's not because of him."

Jess nodded. He looked Rory in the eye and asked,

"Is it going to be like before?"

"What do you mean?"

"You want to be with me and then something changes. Something comes up, like Dean, or Logan or it's the wrong time, and you say it can't happen anymore. That we need to let it go."

Rory wanted to close her eyes but couldn't break Jess's gaze. She stared at him and Jess added,

"I just want to know. I'm not mad, if that's what you want, but I want to know. I need to know where we are."

"I don't know where we are," Rory whispered. Jess swallowed and her mother's words were in her mind, Stop running away.

"What do you want?" Jess asked. "Do you want to slow down?"

"I don't want to be in a relationship."

"Okay," Jess said quietly. He didn't break her gaze and Rory said,

"Jess, I don't know. I love being with you but I can't be in a relationship, not now. I don't even know where I am. I can't promise anything."

Jess nodded and Rory took a deep breath.

"I need some time. I need some space."

"Okay," Jess said again. He looked sad but simply reached out and touched her arm, just below the cuff. "Maybe...maybe we shouldn't see each other for a while."

Rory stared and he added,

"Until we figure things out. I need to go back to Philly anyway."

Rory nodded. She didn't trust herself to speak and for a moment she and Jess gazed at each other across the table.

"I should go," she finally managed to say. "Mom'll be waiting."

Jess nodded. Rory turned, picked up her purse and as she reached the door he called,

"Rory!"

She turned and he indicated his head at her.

"I know you wouldn't go back to California," he told her. "I just...I want you to know that."

Rory's mouth made the faintest of smiles.

"Thank you," she whispered. Jess nodded, she moved back round and walked slowly down the stairs. His touch was still warm on her arm. She walked and walked and it was only when she reached the gazebo that she stopped, sat and allowed the flow of tears.