Thanks for the feedback!

The following fortnight sped by and before she knew it Rory was ready to leave. Monday was her last session with Doctor Moran and Rory felt more emotional than she expected. She hadn't realised how much she'd come to rely on these sessions, how much she'd got from then and on that warm, fall afternoon she smiled shyly across the desk at the doctor.

"So you're all set?" Doctor Moran asked. Rory nodded.

"All set. First stop, Fez. I'm leaving Saturday night, after my birthday."

"Happy Birthday," the doctor said warmly. "Do you have any plans?"

"Oh – not really. It's on Friday so we'll be going to my grandparents' anyway, for dinner."

"Are you doing anything with your friends?"

Rory shrugged.

"I'll go see Lane on Saturday and my mom'll be there. She's my best friend."

"I see," the doctor said mildly. "Well, that sounds very pleasant."

Rory nodded and said,

"When I was a kid I had the best birthday parties."

"You did?"

"Mom went all out. We'd stay up all night and eat candy for weeks and when I was eight the police shut us down."

Doctor Moran laughed and Rory added with a giggle,

"And arrested the clown!"

"You stopped having parties as an adult?" Doctor Moran asked. Rory's smile faded.

"I guess. The last big birthday party I had was when I turned twenty-one. It was when I was fighting with my mom and my grandma threw me this fancy party at her house with laced invitations."

"Wow."

"Yeah. She threw me one kind of like that when I was sixteen."

"Did you enjoy it?"

"No," Rory said honestly. "She invited all these kids from Chilton I didn't like without asking me – Paris was there but we weren't friends then - and made me give a speech to the entire room. She tried, anyhow. I got mad and yelled at her and stormed off."

"Not the best night then."

"No. But my mom gave me a real party the next night. And when we made up, after our fight, she took me to Atlantic City and we played bingo and drank shots."

"That sounds like fun. You're not doing anything like that this year?"

"Probably not. I'm turning twenty-six, it's not a special age."

"You're still entering a new year in your life," Doctor Moran said. "And that's exciting."

Rory smiled.

"You sound like my mom."

"I think your mother has it right."

"I'm kind of excited," Rory admitted. "I'm flying out the next day. It's scary, but in a good way, I think."

"I completely agree," Doctor Moran said. "And I think you've made a very smart decision."

"It still doesn't feel real," Rory said thoughtfully. "I mean, my last birthday was in California. I was married to Logan, I didn't think anything would change."

"You changed it."

Rory looked at her.

"Thank you," she said genuinely. "Thank you for helping me and talking to me. I don't think I could have done it without you being there."

"You've made so much progress, Rory," Doctor Moran said. "You should take some credit."

"I don't think I'd have made it if you hadn't helped," Rory said. "I didn't realise how much I needed it."

"You made all your decisions," Doctor Moran said gently. "You should be proud."

Rory smiled, hesitated and delved into her purse, coming out with a book.

"This is for you," she said shyly, handing it to her. "I don't know if you like reading but it's one of my favourite books and I wanted to give you something."

Doctor Moran turned the novel over in her hands. It was Tales of Eva Luna by Isabel Allende.

"Everyone likes House of Spirits," Rory continued. "But I've always loved Eva Luna."

"Thank you," Doctor Moran said, smiling and looking up. Rory breathed a sigh of relief.

"Do you like it?"

"I love it," Doctor Moran said. "I always mean to read more."

"It's good – at least, I think it is. I think you'll like it."

"Not The Bell Jar then?" Doctor Moran asked and Rory looked up to see she was teasing. They both chuckled.

"I might be taking a break from that novel for a while," Rory said. "I know what Plath is talking about."

"I want to know what you talk about," Doctor Moran said. "When you come back. Are you still going to write down everything?"

"As much as I can."

The women smiled at each other and Rory stood up, reaching over the desk.

"Thank you," she said fervently. "I mean it."

"It's been a pleasure, Rory."

Rory smiled. She wanted to hug her but it seemed inappropriate, in a doctor's office, so she reached out to shake her hand. Doctor Moran took it and said,

"I hope you come to see me when you're back, Rory. I want to hear all about your trip."

"I'll probably still be messed up in the head," Rory said, half-joking. "I'll probably still need help."

"Everyone is, a little," Doctor Moran said seriously. "Normality isn't something you can simply achieve, Rory. Remember that."

"I will," Rory said. They smiled, Doctor Moran relinquished her hand and Rory turned to go. She turned to look back once more and Doctor Moran gave her an encouraging look. Rory kept it the whole way home.

There was a thump in the bed in the middle of the night. Rory slowly opened her eyes and saw her mother beside her. The clock on the table read 4:03 in shining red numbers and Rory groaned. The past few days had been exhausting and she'd slept soundly every night this week except, it seemed, this one.

"Happy Birthday, little girl!"

"Mom," Rory said sleepily, moving over. "I'm not a little girl."

"Yes, you are, you're my little girl and it's so hard to believe that at exactly this time, many moons ago..."

Rory shifted on her pillow, resolving herself to her mother's speech.

"...and I still don't know why they gave me iced chips," Lorelai said, puzzled. "Their only use was pelting the nurses."

"Which you loved."

"Well, it was fun," Lorelai grinned. "Took my mind off pushing what felt like a boulder out of my vagina."

"Hello, gross!"

"No, what was gross was you being laid in my arms and thinking I'd given birth to phlegm!"

"Thanks for that image."

"I don't know why women call it the most meaningful experience of their life," Lorelai remarked. "It was definitely thought up by a man. I did discover what a large vocabulary of swear words I had, though."

"As long as there's that!"

"So, is there anything I can do?" Lorelai asked. "Improve your life a little?"

"You know, you still haven't gotten rid of humidty," Rory said and Lorelai snapped her fingers.

"Rats. Knew I'd forgotten something."

"It's pretty good," Rory said sleepily. "I like my life."

"I like yours too," Lorelai said softly. She kissed her daughter's cheek and Rory snuggled up to her.

"I love you, Mom."

"I love you, too. I can't believe it's been twenty-six years since I was lying in that hospital bed. I can still remember those contractions like it was yesterday. Did you know what the doctor said when he saw your head? He..."

Rory fell asleep to the sound of her mother's words. They were still curled up together at six o'clock the next morning.

That evening they went to Emily and Richard's. There was potroast and pudding for dinner, alongside a large birthday cake, and, after the maid had poured wine into their glasses, Emily lifted hers and said, "To Rory and her exciting adventures abroad!"

"Even if she will be sleeping in rooms with uncouth youths who don't shower," Richard added. "I must say I'm surprised, Rory."

"I've done it before, Grandpa."

"And I was shocked then, too!"

"It feels right this way," Rory told him. He shook his head but smiled affectionately and, after dinner, he pulled out an envelope and handed it to his granddaughter.

"Happy Birthday, Rory," he said fondly. "For Fez."

Rory opened the envelope and gasped. Richard had given her $500.

"Grandpa, it's too much!"

"Nonsense, it's necessary," Richard said firmly. "You'll need to explore Fez."

Rory, touched, hugged her grandfather hard.

"Thank you, Grandpa."

"I'm pleased you're finally going," Richard said as she relinquished her arms. "I'm proud you're finally going."

"I am, too," Rory said, smiling. "I'm glad I'm going."

"We're both proud of you, Rory," Emily said. "Proud to be your grandparents."

Rory blushed, smiling. She wanted to say how it meant to her but instead she said,

"I'm proud you're mine."

For a moment no one said anything and looked shyly at each other, eyes bright. Lorelai stepped in.

"Guys, she's not going to the North Pole!" she said, quickly wiping her eyes. "Rory'll be back in four months!"

"Unless she gets a taste for foreign life and shacks up with a man named Paolo!" Emily said loudly. Rory laughed and shook her head.

"I will be back," she said seriously. "I promise. And there won't be any men named Paolo!"

"Pedro, then."

"Lorelai!"

"Relax, Mom, I'm kidding," Lorelai said, squeezing an arm around her daughter tightly. "She's going to have an incredible time."

"Well, of course she is!"

"I'll call all the time," Rory promised. "All of you."

Emily nodded and said,

"You two had better head back. Rory should get an early night."

Rory's flight wasn't until late the next day but she and Lorelai got their coats anyway and kissed Richard and Emily goodbye. They stood in the doorway and waved until Lorelai and Rory had driven away.

"They didn't seem too upset," Rory remarked. Lorelai laughed.

"Wait until you're gone, I'll be fielding calls about keeping you safe the entire time you're gone!"

They drove out of Hartford and Lorelai said casually,

"So did you get any gifts?"

"No," Rory said, not fooled. "Logan didn't send anything."

"That obvious, huh?" Lorelai cringed. "Do you mind?"

"No," Rory said shortly. Her mother looked at her, unconvinced.

"It feels a little weird," Rory admitted a few minutes later. "But I'm glad he hasn't sent me something. I'm glad he's not trying to get me back."

Lorelai nodded. She adjusted a gear and asked,

"Did you get anything from someone else?"

Rory knew who she meant.

"Jess hasn't sent me anything."

Lorelai nodded, looked ahead and turned a corner. She didn't ask Rory how that made her feel.

The next morning Rory went to see Lane. Zach looked after the kids and they bought icecream, sat on the bridge and cried a little.

"I can't believe you're going," Lane said, wiping her eyes with her napkin. "I mean, it's all you've talked about for the past month but it didn't seem real. It still doesn't seem real, even though it's happening."

"I kind of feel like that too."

"What time's your flight?"

"Midnight."

Lane nodded, the last of her tears dribbling down her cheek.

"It's so weird," she said. "I just got you back and now you're going."

"Lane –"

"I know that sounds selfish," Lane interrupted. "But you're my best friend. I look forward to hanging out with you so much and now..."

"I know."

"You think I'd be used to it, after you moved to California," Lane said. "I guess I thought you'd stay this time."

"Lane, it's only for four months," Rory said encouragingly. "I'll be back after that."

To her surprise, her friend shook her head.

"You won't stay."

"What are you talking about?"

"I know you. This will inspire you to do something awesome. You'll move somewhere else."

"Lane, I'm not going to away and never come back."

"You'll come back to America," Lane agreed. "But you won't stay in Stars Hollow."

Rory didn't know what to say so she gripped Lane's hand tightly.

"I don't have anywhere else to go."

"You'll figure something out."

Rory looked at her silently and Lane burst out,

"I'm going to miss you so much. I don't have anyone else to talk to, hang out with."

"I'll call all the time."

"That's not the same," Lane argued. "I don't want you to stay – I mean, I guess I do but you should go – but I miss not having to be a mom or wife all the time. I'll miss seeing you."

"Lane..." Rory couldn't think of what to tell her. "You told me about that cool mom at the paint class the twins went to last week. It sounded like friendship potential."

"She's not you," Lane said. "She's not my best friend since Kindergarten."

"Lane, you'll make me cry again!"

"What am I saying?" Lane demanded, wiping away the fresh flood of tears. "I want you to go, you should go. I can't wait to hear all about it."

"We'll talk all the time," Rory said firmly. "Every night, if you want."

"I might take you up on that."

The friends walked silently back to Rory's house. Rory pushed open the door, about to ask Lane what kind of tea she wanted, when a loud group of people shouted,

"Surprise!"

Rory nearly jumped out of her skin. She turned, hand on heart, to see Lorelai, Paris, Miss Patty, Kirk and Lulu, Babette and Morey, Sookie and Jackson and their kids all laughing at her. Rory whirled around to see Lane grinning behind her and Rory exclaimed,

"What's this?"

"Surprise, honey," Lorelai laughed and Rory cried,

"Paris! You said you were stuck in Boston!"

"Heard there might be a pig race involved," Paris drawled. "Couldn't miss that!"

"And you guys!" Rory exclaimed at Sookie and Jackson. "And Davey, Martha and Ellen! I can't believe you're all here!"

"Neither can I," came a sullen voice and Rory looked up to see Michel in the corner, a grumpy expression his face and a party hat on his head.

"Oh, cheer up," Lorelai said brightly, clapping her hands. "It' a party, for god's sake!"

"Mom, I can't believe you did this," Rory said. "I don't know what to say."

Lorelai walked over and hugged her tightly.

"It's not every day my little girl has a birthday and leaves the country at the same time. That deserves a hell of a party, don't you think?"

"I do," Rory nodded, sniffling, and jumped as Zach shouted,

"And cake!" from where he'd been hiding in the corner, along with his and Lane's brood.

"I've got that!" Sookie exclaimed, emerging with a heavy, cream-coated cake which wobbled dangerously in her arms. "And I'm going to drop it!"

Lorelai hastily cleared a space and they all sang Happy Birthday as Rory was ushered over. As she bent over, her face illuminated in the flames, Rory was suddenly reminded of her other birthday party here, when she was sixteen. It was hard to believe that was ten whole years ago, that she and Paris had hated each other and that the young girl then had thought she was so grown up. She'd had no idea of what was to come and Rory blew out all the candles in one.

"What did you wish for?" Lane asked. Rory grinned.

"If I say, it won't come true."

The party went on for hours. The entire town seemed to have shown up and Rory talked herself hoarse to Andrew, Gypsy and even Taylor, who was sure Rory would regret turning down a space at the Soda Shoppe team. Luke arrived and looked surprised as Rory threw her arms around him, but he hugged her tightly back.

"Happy Birthday," he said fondly. "Here...Happy Birthday. I said that already, but it's for that."

Rory took the gift from him and smiled. It was a compass.

"It's probably dumb," Luke said. "I guess you don't need a compass unless you're in the mountains or something and if you are, I hope you have a guide, but –"

"Luke, I love it," Rory said, beaming. "Thank you."

He hugged her again and Rory tried to ask nonchalantly,

"Is Jess coming?"

Luke hesitated and Rory's heart sank.

"He's packing up the apartment," he told her. "He's moving out on Monday. He said he'd come by if he had time, so maybe..."

"Right," Rory said quietly. "Thanks."

Gradually, the party died down. Lane and Zach and Sookie Jackson left early, saying apologetically that they had to put the kids to bed, and Michel left to beat traffic bed. Taylor said he didn't want to disturb his evening routine, which everyone begged him not to go into detail about, as with Kirk when he announced he and Lulu wanted to try and conceive before the day was over. Lorelai and Rory watched as the guests departed one by one. Paris was one of the last to leave.

"Well," she said, hands on hips. "I guess this is it, Gilmore."

"I guess so."

The friends smiled shyly and then in one movement embraced.

"You're not going to regret this," Paris said, as they moved apart. "This is the best decision you've ever made."

"Ever?"

"Well, I'd say going back to Yale but dropping out in the first place was one of the dumbest."

"Thanks," Rory said, laughing at her bluntness, and Paris said seriously,

"I think it's a really smart thing to do. I'm surprised. When you moved back and lived in Hartford I figured you'd never go away again. Only go on vacation with hubby's approval and only to the richest places."

Rory looked down for a moment.

"Thank you for telling me to get some help," she said quietly. "I didn't think I needed it, but...thank you."

"Hey, I've been on meds for years," Paris joked. Her tone was light but her face was serious as she said, "Take it from someone who knows."

Rory hugged her again and Paris said,

"This is getting a little too after school special. You're not going to ask me to do a Thelma and Louise thing, are you?"

"Do you want?" Rory teased. "Kidding. I'll write you, though."

"You'd better." Paris paused and then said, "Happy Birthday, Rory."

"Thank you, Paris."

The friends hugged and Rory walked Paris to the door. She watched her drive away and then Luke was at her shoulder.

"I'm heading off, too," he told her. "Thanks for the party."

"Thank Mom, she did it all," Rory said and then smiled as Luke hugged her goodbye.

"Take care," he said seriously. "Use the compass if you need it – I don't know why you would, but you know, if you did."

"I will. Thank you."

Luke smiled and started down the steps. Rory watched him, wanting to ask him to say goodbye to Jess, but found herself calling,

"Look after Mom."

Luke was halfway down the steps and stopped.

"What?"

"Mom might be lonely," Rory said, heart beating fast. "Keep her company."

Luke grinned.

"I don't think I have a choice."

Rory nodded and he called,

"Safe trip!"

Lorelai appeared next to her and they both waved goodbye. They watched until Luke was out of sight and Lorelai said,

"Well. We still have a while before you leave. Want to watch a movie?"

"Mom, let me clean up."

Lorelai waved her hand.

"No, the birthday girl mocks those who does! I'll clean up and then we'll watch a movie."

"Actually," Rory said slowly. "There's someone I need to say goodbye to."

"I see," Lorelai said knowingly and Rory turned round.

"I'll be back in time for the movie."

Rory hurried down the steps in Luke's wake but didn't follow him to the diner. Instead, she turned the corner to the other streets, to Jess's apartment and made her way there. Someone let her in as they were going out and Rory hurried up the stairs, knocking on Jess's door. He opened the door but didn't seem surprised to see her.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"You look busy," Rory remarked and Jess looked around, as though seeing the boxes for the first time.

"Something like that."

There was an awkward pause and Jess said,

"Happy Birthday."

"You remembered," Rory said, touched, and Jess shrugged.

"Luke said you were having a party. I wanted to come but I didn't know if –Happy Birthday, anyway."

"It's okay. Thanks."

"I remember us telling each other when our birthdays were," Jess said as Rory came into the apartment, now filled with boxes. "On the bridge."

"You do?"

"Yeah. You said you were glad you were born in fall because it's just when the air cools down from summer."

Rory went a little red as she smiled.

"Did I really say that?"

"Word for word."

"I remember yours, too," Rory said. "July eighth."

"Thank God it wasn't Fourth of July, right?" Jess said. "Imagine the jokes that'd come with that."

They laughed a little and Jess said,

"So what time are you leaving?"

"My flight's at twelve."

Jess nodded and Rory said awkwardly,

"I wanted to say goodbye."

"You're coming back, right?" Jess asked, looking into her eyes.

"Jess..."

"It's not a total goodbye," he said. "Is it?"

Rory shook her head, not looking away.

"No," she said. "It's not."

Jess took her hand. It was warm, or maybe hers was, but Rory didn't shake it away. She clasped it tightly and moved into his kiss. They kissed heavily, neither making a move to stop, and Rory didn't protest as Jess placed his hand into the small of her back and pressed it against him. They kissed and kissed and Jess started to say,

"Rory..." but she said desperately,

"Don't. Don't say anything."

So he didn't. Rory didn't want to think or keep her vow of staying away and they moved into his bedroom, onto his bed which Jess thankfully hadn't packed away. They lay down together and Jess deftly lifted her shirt over her head, pulled her jeans down and she tugged his down as they kissed. She pressed her chest against his, feeling their hearts beat and he moved his hand inside her, his penis hard against her leg. Rory took his hand away, moving her legs apart and guided him inside her. Jess pushed and pushed and she thrust back, their arms around each other tight, until they came, Jess first and Rory shortly after. He moved out and they lay together, their chests rising and falling, neither saying a word.

"I'm still going," Rory said eventually. Jess looked at her and said simply,

"I know you are."

He sat up and began to dress. Rory did the same, slowly, and Jess left the room. She heard water running and looked at the clock. She had stayed for much shorter than she'd thought it had been but still should get back and was slipping on her shoes as Jess came back into the room, a package in his hand.

"What's this?" Rory asked, taking it from him. It was small and light, wrapped in green paper and Jess said,

"Happy Birthday."

Rory unwrapped it and the breath stopped in her throat. It was Slaughterhouse Five.

"I want you to have it," Jess said shyly. "I've put more notes in the margins."

Rory flipped through it and Jess asked,

"Is it okay, as a gift?"

"I love it," Rory said seriously. "Thank you."

Jess smiled but they didn't kiss. It was almost as though the sex hadn't happened and he said,

"Guess you'd better be getting back."

"Yeah, Mom's waiting."

He walked her to the door and said once more,

"Happy Birthday."

"Thank you, Jess."

Rory didn't say a word to her mother when she got back. She couldn't think how to explain it to herself. Instead, they talked of the party and watched a movie and a few hours later Lorelai drove her to the airport and walked her to the gate.

"Be careful," she said, putting her hands on her daughter's shoulders. "No cheap Mexican condoms."

"I'm not going to Mexico!"

"Well, I don't want you coming home with any stomach complaints!" Lorelai said, widening her eyes until Rory nodded. "Okay?"

"You know I'll be careful."

Lorelai nodded, looked at her and said,

"Well, I guess this is it."

"I guess so."

Lorelai looked at her and hugged her tightly.

"Have an awesome time," she said tearfully. "I know you will, of course you will. Call every night. Don't drink water that isn't bottled. Don't pierce anything, don't get a tattoo and don't shave your head, got it?"

"Got it," Rory laughed and Lorelai added,

"But do make friends with some low-lives, okay?"

"I'm going to miss you, Mom," Rory said, her throat suddenly tight.

"I'm going to miss you more," Lorelai said. "Kid, don't set me off. This is a good thing, right?"

"Yes. Of course it is. I'll take tons of pictures. I'll be home in no time."

A loudspeaker announced it was the final call and Lorelai hugged Rory one last time, kissed her cheek hard and pressed something into her hand.

"Trashy magazine money," she said. "For the plane."

"I love you, Mom."

"I love you, too!"

Rory kissed her goodbye and started to walk through. She looked back until she couldn't see Lorelai anymore and took a deep breath. Rory stepped on the plane, ready to start her adventure.