As soon as the speech started, Annabelle looked up at the speaker on stage and took her measure in an instant. The woman was small and slim and looked typically sun-tanned in the requisite fashion. She wore her dark hair short and cropped and her wide smile exposing immaculately shaped gleaming teeth conveyed the exact corporate requirements for a sincere smile. She wore the regulation power-dressing dark trouser suit and was the very embodiment of marketable feminism. To Annabelle's jaundiced point of view, she knew that if she hadn't marked out her own destiny, she'd have had a sense of impending doom hanging over her. So this woman, leader of the Chamber of Commerce, was supposed to inspire her to become Ms Bigshot? She had never seen her mother delivering one of her famous speeches but she knew beyond doubt that this woman, whoever she was, might as well be her mother. The same stream of phrases wafted past her consciousness, leaving no imprint while her lover's sheer poetry stuck in her mind. Just now and again, she bothered to odd phrases
"I can still remember what it felt like to be young, when you are carefree, when life's promises are just waiting for you to fulfil your potential. It doesn't stop you having a little fun, to hang out with your friends and to flirt with the opposite sex," Ms Chamber of Commerce confided with just that right degree of intimate girlishness until she got back to the serious stuff in her finale.
"As a working mother, I know only too well how demanding running a home and pursuing your career. However, I can assure you that you will be up to life's demands and duties. The way you learn to make your mark amongst your peers, to be a leader will not be for nothing as they are guiding spirits. Above all else the pride you will take in the school you have been nurtured, St Theresa's Catholic High School are lessons you will unconsciously apply when you start to map out your career. In this way, you will give back what has been unselfishly given to you by your hard working, intelligent, caring teachers whose spiritual mother, the Mother Immaculata has designed and fashioned to be the finest educational institution in this State of California. I also proud to count the Mother Immaculata as a dear personal friend of mine and I know what great and good works she does every day of her life..."
"I think I'm going to be sick," muttered Annabelle to Simone who turned to face her. She was immediately concerned that the younger woman's understandable sensitivities would physically revolt against the stream of empty clichés pouring forth. Her English teacher's instincts were already being severely critical of content, structure and stylistic technique of this speech that could just as easily have been delivered by an Autocue that could speak. She was also seething with anger to see Father Harris being so brutally marginalised. She reached for inspiration that could prevent her lover from physically throwing up as she surreptitiously squeezed her lover's hand briefly.
"Just try not to listen, darling. I'm really sorry I forgot to buy us ear plugs."
Her irreverence and solid advice did the trick. Annabelle grinned appreciatively as she saw Simone studiously ignore the disapproving looks focussed on them from outside their group.
"We can't conform to their standards not even if we spent a year practising," observed Annabelle to which Simone nodded. Just at that moment, the entire audience broke into enthusiastic applause at the conclusion of the speech. While Simone only clapped tepidly as a token effort, Annabelle resolutely refused to clap the self important bitch for the lies that she spewed out for suckers to believe in. She felt Simone's sideways glance at her but knew that she had always respected her opinions from way back.
"I don't blame you," Simone said quietly just before the next scene started in the movie in which they were only so many unregarded extras.
"I'm sure that everyone will be grateful for the truly inspiring address by our speaker who I am delighted is a personal friend of mine who filled in at the last minute. I trust that all of you girls will remember everything that's been told to you. And now is the part of our proceeding which I always enjoy and it is your day, you the students. Could you make your way into the side hall as quickly and as orderly as possible while you, the proud parents remain with your thoughts awhile," announced the Mother Immaculata in her strident carrying tones.
Somehow Simone's eye had been off the ball and she hadn't anticipated being separated from her friends. As Annabelle stood up ready to join the multi-headed queue for the side-door, she gave Simone such a look of loving affection."Stay safe, I'll be back soon," her lips seemed to mouth. Then she was gone amongst the crowds of her school year. The cold chilly side hall was bare and Annabelle looked for some spare space in the hall to prepare herself. She donned her black gown that gave her a touch of grandeur but virtually covered her dress. For one second, she feared that her individuality had been taken away from her but took confidence that such an effort of mind control could never overcome her resilient defences, especially when the formidable alliance of her partner's mind and will was there to back her up. She arranged the orange coloured wide sash over her head to drape over her chest, arranged it right and stuck the mortar-board on her head. She knew she was no Cinderella figure and she was going to the ball come what may, kicking and screaming if need be.
As she looked around, she had real difficulties in picking out those she knew strangely because of the way everyone was dressed alike. It crossed her mind that she was immersing herself one more time in the life she'd led for the previous year with the other seniors before they flew apart in different directions. It gave her a certain feeling of detachment in the way she viewed them all. Once she'd finished giving her hair a final brush, she circulated around and fetched up with Colins and Kirsten as they shuffled round for a place in the queue. She smiled reassuringly and talked to Colins who was typically nervous. Sister Clair was in charge of this part of the operation and she walked down the line. As she passed Annabelle, she smiled remembering the times she'd weakened and supplied the younger woman with packs of cigarettes. To this day, she wondered why she had done it but the Mother Immaculata wasn't going to hear about it.
"OK, Martha can lead the way when I give the sign,"Sister Clair said according to strict instructions given to her."Remember what you've been told in rehearsals, look graceful when you walk across the stage, smile and thank the guest when she presents you with your degree, cross the far side and walk quietly down the side aisles and take your place back with your parents. When you're told to, then everyone can have refreshments if they want or stand and talk outside. Remember, it's your day today."
"So I'm being told to be nice to the authority figure one last time,"Annabelle muttered mutinously under her breath to Kristen's shocked surprise. She was expecting a full-on rebellion but she was surprised to see her friend shrug her shoulders and fall into line with the others. It didn't matter if she'd been left out of the rehearsals as she knew she could busk it. Colins followed her lead.
All at once, the line of women filed slowly out the door and up onto the stage, Simone's wandering thoughts suddenly took definite shape as her heart leapt inside her with an incandescent glow. This was the moment she'd dreamed of. Her lover had been the outcast in past years but was now right up there with the others. She was so proud of her as she finally came into view as she walked so elegantly across the stage. This was their moment of validation. Added to that, she felt a halo effect of all her hard work in teaching which was bearing its final fruit. She shouldn't deny herself credit for what she'd achieved.
Annabelle placed one foot after another, feeling glad she was wearing sandals with her oriental dress as she felt grounded. The only thing that mattered was to get to the centre of the stage and receive her diploma as a 'fuck you' to the schools that had expelled her. What she would say to Ms Bigshot didn't matter. She didn't impress her. No one impressed her unless they could stand naked in front of her with wearing only their wisdom.
"You must be very proud of herself," the woman finally said to her just as she'd said to Kristen ahead of her.
"I am," Annabelle said brazenly with no false modesty, her grey eyes transfixing the woman with no willingness to defer to her."I worked really hard to get these grades."
"Well, here's your diploma, Annabelle Tillman," came the automatic reply as she gave her the diploma certificate.
"Thank you," the younger woman said tonelessly and then she made her way off the stage. Somehow, her legs of rubber carried her down the aisle where Simone had to fight hard to stop her from hugging her lover. Instead, a beaming smile radiated her joy as she fingered the certificate.
"You couldn't be more overjoyed if it had happened to you Simone," Annabelle said, all the tenderness of her loving nature in her voice and a tear or two trickling down her face. She felt with every ounce of her being that her intense joy was Simone's also. Somehow the sounds of daughters and mothers exchanging self congratulatory conversations and general chit chat faded into the background where only she and Simone existed. Kristen and Colins were aware of this unfortunate focussing inwards and wondered if Miss Bradley would notice their achievements. After all, she'd taught them all
"Hey, Miss Bradley you got me through my exams as well," a very nervous Colins finally said nervously and politely. It broke their spell as both women felt guilty that these good friends had been shut out of their loop.
"Hey, I'm really sorry," both women chorussed at the same time. Simone and Annabelle looked at their friends diplomas and they were delighted that Colins and Kristen had done respectably well in their grades. They immediately enthused about them, their natural warmth overflowing all around them.
"Of course Annabelle was always the genius at English. Everyone knew that," Kristen said very generously to her friend who flushed with pleasure like the original birthday girl. A stray thought crossed Simone's mind that no one questioned Annabelle's grades, her coursework having gone through her hands yet how curiously distanced she felt from her former incarnation as teacher. She chattered away with the others like she was one of the girls.
"This is where the problems might start," Simone said laconically as they filed out to the refreshment area behind the stage. Annabelle knew very well that being pinned down to their seats had had its advantages as it had kept them away from their enemies. They had no choice but to face their destiny.
"Simone," suddenly intoned that voice in shocked disapproval from out of nowhere. It made all four women jump and Simone immediately realised that this was a moment of truth. This was the woman who had haunted and ruled her life until recently, the Mother Immaculata and also her aunt. Last time around, she'd been taken at a disadvantage, wearing her jeans and bra while Annabelle was wearing her slip. This time would be different. Both Colins and Kristen cringed away from the woman who had held unquestioned authority over them. Annabelle was silent but knew that this was Simone's fight."Isn't it enough that you drag this respectable institution through the mud by taking advantage of one of our delinquent students? I would have thought that you would have never darkened our doors again and stayed away from the graduation ceremony. As far as this school is concerned, you are history and something that should be expunged from the records."
"I came here because I was invited. Here's my card and Annabelle's which Father Harris kindly provided," Simone said with cold disdain
"I shall have to have words with him. His action was highly innappropriate," stormed the
Mother Immaculata, breathing fire and brimstone largely because her imperious command of events had been outflanked.
"On the contrary, his action was entirely appropriate," pursued Simone, inwardly gleeful that she'd found a chink in this woman's armour and she was going on the counter-attack after all the shit she'd gone through with being arrested and her public reputation ruined.
"I came because one of your most distinguished scholars was going to be on her own and Annabelle and I have been models of discretion. I also wanted to give my best wishes to all my old students. It is you who is causing a scene, Just look all around you."
The obstreperous woman was alarmed to see a gathering crowd in a situation where only she'd be the loser. She coloured deeply with embarrassment to Simone's delight, Annabelle's love for her lover's spirited defence and Kristen and Colins total astonishment at seeing the walls of Jericho come crashing down.
"We'll have our share of refreshments, circulate for a while, look up those worth looking up and we'll disappear. No need for us to ever meet again in this lifetime?" Simone pursued in a soft but firm tone of voice.
The Mother Immaculata nodded eagerly and then headed for the exit like a dog being let off the leash. To Simone's curiously detached sense of surprise, she saw that the Mother Immaculata was approaching her own mother who appeared briefly out of nowhere before they both disappeared out of the room. Two sisters, two of a kind, she thought. It had never occurred to Simone that she'd be there as well though she'd never spotted her. It was a matter of indifference that both were disappearing out of her life.
"We'll do what we promised and head on to the refreshments. No need to gloat," commanded Simone in firm tones. It equally possible that her friends' deference to her lead was because she was once their teacher or because of the wisdom of her advice. Besides, they suddenly felt very hungry.
"Do you want a cigarette, Annabelle," called out a different voice from the side. It was Sister Clair, her face wreathed in smiles and a twinkle in her eye.
"No thanks Sister Clair," Annabelle replied politely."I only started smoking as I was sure St Theresa's would forbid me smoking so I wanted it all the more. Now that I'm out of school and have the choice, I'm not interested. Simone caught me smoking my very first cigarette after my parents dropped me off here."
There was a general laugh at Annabelle's droll explanation of one aspect of her rebellion. It signalled a general move towards the refreshments queue which Sister Clair joined.
"Mmm, these home made cakes taste great," exclaimed Annabelle excitedly through a mouthful of food, nearly dropping her diploma certificate as she reached for a coffee. Simone discreetly popped the certificate into her handbag. "I used to be such a pig for them when I was a kid, that and ice cream but Simone knows my guilty secrets."
Colins looked on at the two women wishing that she could be in such a loving relationship as Annabelle and Miss Bradley clearly were. They made perfect sense to her. More than ever before, Miss Bradley's busting didn't seem a hanging offence.
"That's because I made them," chuckled Sister Clair."It's nice to hear them appreciated as well as being wolfed down and no one says anything."
As they stood talking and eating, it was obvious that Sister Clair was becoming increasingly restless. She felt guilty as Simone was being really nice to her.
"I really have to go. You know how it is, Simone. However nice a group of people you meet that these affairs, you have to circulate and give everyone equal chances. You don't have to talk to all of your ex-pupils. If they've got anything about them, they'll come to you. Besides, I haven't seen the Mother Immaculata and I'm kind of worried about her."
"Sure, we know what you mean," Annabelle said with all the wisdom of the world in her voice, taking pity on the old woman who was the unpaid drudge for the female tyrant who ran this school as a cute financial operation and kept all those who worked for strictly in line. The narrow constricted way Simone had behaved in the past compared with how free she had now become measured the hold she could maintain which Sister Clair was still trapped in. She was at the point of no return and she was infinitely sorry for the woman.
They finally strolled out onto the terrace where Father Harris appeared from out of the blue.
"Welcome to St Theresa's as always, Simone and also our latest distinguished scholar. It's a pleasure to see you, Colins and Kristen not that I want to underrate your efforts."
"Annabelle always was a smartass," Kristen started to say without thinking and then coloured slightly at her choice of language." I mean we all saw in class what she was like."
Father Harris chuckled as Simone knew he would. It prompted the question that had lurked in her mind for a long time as to what sort of broadening experiences he'd undergone before entering the church.
"I'm really glad you and Annabelle could both make it or more accurately that you found the courage to be here."
"We did what had to be done. Some parts we've really enjoyed," came the reply from the younger woman. Father Harris smiled approvingly at this razor- sharp woman who stood before him.
As they started to chat to each other, they suddenly noticed the background chatter around them. A couple of mothers were expanding at length what plans they'd got for their offspring and relating the trials and tribulations of bringing up children these days and generally stroking each others' egos. Another of them was busy taking pictures of everything that moved and a lot that didn't. It prompted Simone to reach inside her handbag for her own camera. She clicked off a few shots before pausing for thought.
"You don't mind taking a couple of pictures of us, Father Harris?" Simone asked nervously but glad she'd got the words out.
"Certainly," Father Harris said genially."You;ll have to show me which buttons to press as I'm not as young and energetic as I used to be."
He peered through the viewfinder but there was something strained and artificial about their stance. It crossed his mind that they wanted this to be an ordinary photograph no one could possibly take exception only they were trying too hard. It didn't work and finally, Father Harris had the answer.
"Simone, it is permitted for you and Annabelle to hold hands if you're more comfortable that way. I am an amateur but even I can see that it would make a better picture," Father Harris said with mock sternness. Immediately, their two hands were interlinked and huge beams of pleasure spread all over their faces. At that point, Father Harris clicked off three photos in quick succession.
"Hey you guys," Kristen said."We were going to look up some of the other guys while they're here, maybe exchange addresses," Kristen said
"We'll bring any of them over who want to meet you," Colins said eagerly, being her way of reconciling wanting to be in two places at the same time.
"So how is life at St Theresa's finding you these days?" Simone asked, attempting to make polite conversation.
"Not good," came the blunt answer."I'm sure you know that I was shut out of the loop in the events following the end of year party. I don't get on with the Mother Immaculata these days as she is too greedy for power. Part of the reason I arranged for you both to come to the graduation was that at last I had the chance to make a decision, the other reason being that it was the right thing to do. Worst of all is the feeling I've got that I'm only allowed to ramble on making sermons as I please as long as it doesn't really change anything and it panders to the vanity of an old man ready for a retirement home."
"I really liked listening to your serrmons, Father Harris," Annabelle interjected, looking the elderly directly in the eye in that way that unnerved the insincere and the philistine."I'd always thought that religion is really lame but your sermons are, well really fresh."
"Perhaps you'll end up following God's word- in your fashion, Annabelle," Father Harris said with blue twinkling eyes as hope was renewed in his tired old heart.
"Could I do it in any other way?" Annabelle said, a laughing challenge in her voice.
"My door is always welcome to you both even if other doors aren't."
The sunlight shining down and the kindliness of this old man who was short of friends made this moment of the graduation most significant and meaningful. It was one that they'd never forget.