A palpable feeling of growing excitement ran backwards and forwards along the invisible intricate spider's web communications network that connected a community of women and sustained their emotional ties and, above all, drew them out of the relative isolation of their separate homes. More often than not, they struggled along in their own niches, stuck with whom they were forced to associate with in the nine to five world. The unluckiest of those had been used to deploying that external persona to negotiate with the outside world while what was most urgent and vital remained underground. Those more fortunate women who came home to their partners knew that isolated domesticity meant a turning in on themselves and kept them away from those they most identified with and , besides, they needed their own scene so they could put on their glad rags These were the occasions when, above all else, they could be free to be themselves, one of life's most precious experience and the birthrights of every freeborn American
Sadie's unofficial function was to help drum up support for the socials and she saw no reason to make a big secret of a couple of her customers whose account she handled. She passed the news onto the first friend she called.
"If they're going then I'm so into coming out this Friday and so is Erin," she said excitedly, holding her mobile with one hand, the other being lovingly clasped by the slim fingers of her beloved."I read the papers and all I got was the standard shock horror, sexy teacher seduces cute innocent child and I know that's bullshit. I really want to see what they're like."
"Did you ever have a crush on your English teacher when you were in high school, someone who you wanted to show her your poetry? I know I did," a teasing voice called out to her from above her when she came off the phone.
"Vanessa and I are coming as we've have met them already. They're really great to hang out with," a second voice down the other end of the phone told Sadie in definite tones which made it easy to pass on to the third on her list. Finally, Sadie chatted to a dark haired woman she vaguely knew who was a more background character of the scene.
"Thanks for letting me know. I'll be there with my girlfriend," she said in a flat level tone of voice. Inwardly, it caused her heart to skip a beat and her nervous system to start pulsing away. An inflammatory cocktail of emotions churned away of jealousy, heartache, resentment that she'd spent so much wasted time in putting her feelings on the line for her. Surely, the woman standing before her could see how she felt and did she really need to involve her best friend Kristen in passing notes to her? She'd poured out all her dreams that she'd fantasised about her in the relative privacy of her dorm bed when she could hide under the covers. All this woman did was to politely reject her overtures week after week until she graduated and did her best to forget her first love even she'd not as much as even held hands. She even pretended that she'd be cool on the night to the fair haired woman and immediately ensconce herself in a corner of the bar with some woman and publicly kiss her so no one would possibly get the wrong idea. She was a regular reader of the Los Angeles Tribune and a slightly crumpled copy lay in her drawer like a guilty secret which wasn't in too much danger of unwelcome discovery. It pictured a certain fair haired woman trapped in the glare of a flashbulb and the headline "No charges to be filed in teacher student sex scandal."She knew better than the other couple just what had gone down from what she knew of the situation.
As soon as Simone and Annabelle walked into the bar, they felt incredibly shy and tongue tied. They were conscious that, in the subdued lighting, slinkily dressed women were appraising them with a thousand looks that crowded their psyches. Some were at the bar ordering drinks, others were seated round low slung round homely looking tables sipping at an assortment of cocktails. They were highly conscious that, except for the graduation, they'd become used to each other's intimacy and that mingling with the lesbian scene raised the bar to a terrifying height for them to negotiate. They gave off a sophisticated, worldly aura that both women found intimidating especially as they sensed that everyone had known everyone else for ages. They were the new kids on the block with only the last two weeks to show for solid experience. What made it worse was that, on glancing round the room, there was no sign of Nikki or Helen and it dawned on them that they would be the centre of attention just when they didn't want it. They found themselves introduced to a series of women and they were hard put to register their identities. They indulged in small talk to cover their own nervousness and both felt acutely that they came over as really lame. They got the feeling that the conversation was edging ever so gently into finding out about the background story to the tabloid headlines written by the regular obvious uptight homophobes who sought to keep the state Republican and right thinking. What they didn't want was to make out they were some kind of stars and their instinct was to minimise what they'd done. They really wanted the women they'd met already to help them smooth the way into the party so they could relax. It depressed them that an event which they'd built up their hopes on wasn't turning out as they had wanted.
"I'm intrigued to meet the latest manifestation of women who've thought they've been the first to think ther're out and proud. By the way, my name's Miranda," cut in a challenging voice from the background in a way that other women gave space to for some unaccountable reason. It spoilt the atmosphere which had been warming up and included them in the general good vibes. In the corner, two women were softly kissing each other and running their fingers through their sleek long hair.
"So you think you're so smart," challenged Annabelle abruptly as something in this woman goaded her to react more sharply than she had intended, her primal instinct being to stand her ground and fight back. . Her opponent wore this elegant black dress which was unusually shaped to leave her arms and shoulders bare but was shaped round her neck in a striking fashion. Her features were striking and bold, her slightly wavy hair pulled back from her face and resting on her shoulders. She was the epitome of the elegant audience who had first greeted them.
"So you're Annabelle. I'd forgotten how the young can be arrogant in your presumed knowledge and have yet to mature. As for your friend, perhaps she's overestimated?"
the other woman purred in a tone of voice that was both seductive and dangerous at the same time.
"Not by be," Annabelle flashed back."from the very first moment I flirted with her in school, we never lost respect for each other. She got me pretty quickly when so many others saw me as the original wild child who couldn't be tamed."
"So you think you're so tough," came the lightning quick retort.
"Why do you come over as some kind of dyke Mrs Robinson as in the Graduate?" Simone said at last in soft wondering tones as she found her way into the conversation. It drew a gasp of astonishment from the audience as this razor sharp observation hit home.
"So how do you relate to some old seventies film of a straight guy who screws around with this older woman and then her daughter?" purred Miranda, secure in the knowledge that her facts were undeniable.
"That's not the point. I can really relate to that guy who's so lost, who does crazy things that makes no sense from the outside. I'd have been like him if I'd been as fucked up. I really love the music. 'The Sound of Silence" was the first song I ever learnt to play," Annabelle retorted, fighting back with a raw intensity which clashed against the languid, mannered style of her opponent whose cool was starting to fray at the edges.
While this accelerating drama was uncoiling itself, Nikki and Helen quietly opened the door to the bar. The fact that all attention was focussed on this confrontation suited their purposes as they wished to case the joint before making their presence known.
"You really don't come over as a gold star lesbian, do you," fired back Miranda.
"We define ourselves the way we want to," put in Simone."For example, I've loved the poems of Rilke and Walt Whitman for years because they have something to say to me , even when I was straight."
"Come on, chill out," called out a stranger in easy joking tones from behind their backs from the front of the bar," or else I'll have to set my prison governor lover on you to restore order. That is, unless I do it myself." Those quickest off the mark concluded that it could only be one of their guests, Nikki Wade making her arrival.
"I'm sorry we're late but not so late that our presence isn't needed," added a second voice in a contrasting accent. They turned around and there appeared before them, Helen Stewart with her bright smile,twinkling eyes and equal sense of command.
The effect of this twin presence was electric. The whole audience fell in love with the combination of Nikki's warm educated English tones rolling over the audience like honey
and Helen's contrasting Scottish brogue. Both voices were the sexiest voices that they'd heard in ages. Simone and Annabelle were as dumbstruck as the rest as these two women stepped outside their official portraiture in the most natural way imaginable. Soon Nikki and Helen were introduced to all the women in the group who gave off that suntanned Californian look with stylish clothes to match as they picked up names and faces. Even Miranda's sense of cool sophistication was stripped away from her as they were properly introduced and she felt as if a part of her was in danger of feeling like a blushing schoolgirl however much she covered up. In a split second moment of self-realisation, she knew that she'd got off on the wrong foot with Simone and Annabelle and she owed it to everyone to make a graceful public retreat. She also saw immediate possibilities in all four women making this gathering something really special and the mistress of ceremonies in her took charge in the way that she knew best how to perform for the benefit of them all. There was something of the actress in her but one that she deployed for all concerned though this time around her social instincts struggled to excavate herself from the hole she'd dug for herself. She made the right move at the right time to command centre stage.
"I really feel I ought to say a few words here. First of all, I offer a warm welcome to two of our very special sisters from England, Helen Stewart and Nikki Wade whose inspiring story, I feel, has only told the half of it and I'm sure we'd love to hear the rest if you wish to. You might have wondered just what you'd walked into. Believe me, our nights aren't that dramatic. Seriously though," and here Simone noticed the woman fiddle with her fingers as she laughed in a delicate, half embarrassed fashion as she reached the nub of her confession,"I should explain that as a thirty-something lesbian, I have very little experience of the rising generation so I did not anticipate a highly intelligent eighteen year old woman would give me so hard a fight in my favourite sport of argument. Even though the experience has been largely at my expense, it really gives me hope for the future. I should not overlook, Simone, how misleadingly mild-mannered you are and should have remembered that you're a teacher. We really want to welcome you both as part of our community and I want to ask both of you could you forgive me for my bad manners?"
Neither Simone nor Annabelle could resist this charmingly delivered apology and knew that behind her stylish mannerisms, she was being genuine. After all, she ran this bar for all their benefit so she was putting her money where her mouth was. Annabelle was the first to stand up and hug this very complex individual and Simone was glad to follow suit. This move was well made as the emotional backwash neatly pulled everyone into
the gathering.
"Hi Simone and Annabelle. Great that you could make it. This is my better half Jenny. Sorry I'm late everyone," called out a cheery voice from behind them, finally addressing the crowd in general.
Simone's mouth hung open as she turned round, hearing a familiar voice. She realised it was Sadie from the bank and how she'd changed. She was looking dark and mysterious, wearing a diaphanous pale turquoise off the shoulder dress and her hair hung long and free and slightly frizzed out. She was holding hands with a blond-haired woman who had that same eager innocence of an All American cheerleader, her cheeks fresh and glowing, her hair pulled up on top of her head and flowing down over her shoulders, wearing a white dress with subdued looking horizontal stripes and short sleeves.
"I've seen you before," Simone breathed as the shock of a fascinating discovery dawned on her. "Many months ago, I saw you in a restaurant. It was the one I took Annabelle to recently on our first meal out together. You might not have noticed me. That was in my straight days when I was stuck as part of a foursome figuring out how to escape."
"I remember," Sadie said as she did her best to focus her mind back in time. She brought up an image of that foursome with a very attractive fair-haired woman who looked very uncomfortable.
"So how do you want us to handle this thing, Miranda? I hope you aren't going to put us up on stage with spotlights and TV cameras trained on us,!" Nikki said light-heartedly. Annabelle's sharp eyes noted favourably how genuinely afraid she was of being put up on a pedestal and how she and Helen were as informal as any American and really meant it.
"No one's looking up my skirt either. That's reserved for Nikki," laughed Helen in her delightful fashion. It raised a general laugh which concealed stray thoughts of how fetching Helen looked in her short skirt and purple blouse which exposed a generous display of cleavage.
"What about moving chairs and tables around so we all sit in a circle and no one gets left out?" suggested Miranda in her masterful way."That feels friendly."
Instantly,the women set to work with a will, Helen and Nikki included and it gave them a nice little communal feel. Finally Nikki, dressed in a very smart black suit and crisp white shirt tapped the glass to gain attention.
"OK, suppose I kick off and tell it like it is. Some of you might have read about us so apologies in advance. I'd sooner go for feel than mathematic calculation any day," Nikki said lightly, gathering her thoughts together as she spoke."My partnership with Helen goes back a long way or so it feels so I know she'll fill in the gaps as we go along. When we're done, we would really love to hear Simone and Annabelle say something about about your experiences. We've read the press when we got here so I feel on a gut level that everything will relate."
"Is that OK with you both," Helen asked kindly, smiling that special smile on Simone and Annabelle. They nodded dumbly. Newcomers as they were, they'd obey the behests of these two wondrous visions anytime. A palpable feeling of support for them, Miranda especially, tipped the balance.