As Helen's eyes opened, she took in the wave of sympathy from the crowd but in the centre was the wave of emotions that emanated through the caring expression in Simone's blue eyes and Annabelle's penetrating grey eyes. The blond haired woman acted perfectly naturally in moving forwards and folding the smaller guest in a gentle embrace. She felt intensely how Helen had gone to the wire and beyond in standing up for her beliefs. Annabelle's similar move to Nikki was a wide-eyed realisation that this tall Englishwoman was as strong and tender-hearted as she wanted to be and the reality of her time in prison was overwhelming especially in view of her own lover's nasty but thankfully short lived experiences. Sadie was quick to follow suit as she'd been deeply moved by the experiences laid out before her senses which were so intense that she'd doubted her ability to emotionally encompass them. Even Miranda cast aside her sophisticated façade and joined in the queue. This experience was, after all, everything she'd first dreamed of when she'd set up her club.
As Helen was finally brought back to a free floating present, high on loving emotions, she knew how she and Nikki had related so much to these other women's lives. It had been such a random but certain trail of events that had led these four women to finally meet right from when she and Nikki had first speculated about when they'd read that throwaway newspaper.
"Don't you find that long term relationships destroy your individuality, that you make too many compromises just to please the other? Far too often, there's the urge to merge in lesbian relationships which is why I prefer to stay free and single. I'm an artist and I have my own studio. Perhaps you care to come round some time," a challenging voice called out from a fair-haired woman looking straight into Helen's eyes. She'd been at the back of the crowd until she'd made her move to slip towards the front. The barefaced cheek of the remark rendered Helen temporarily speechless.
Simone gasped with shock as she turned round to face one of her former students, Michelle Peters who had pursued her so ardently a year ago by passing notes to her in class. She'd certainly changed her style and was hard and cynical instead of gushingly romantic as she used to be. This interjection annoyed Nikki as she'd come across similar attitudes in the past. Just what the hell was this woman doing in making sweeping generalisations which could so easily justify betrayals like the 'two faced tarts' she'd come across in her past? She saw the pained expression on Simone's face, deduced where that dart was aimed at and took up the cudgels in their joint defence.
"Thanks for listening to us, whoever you are. Don't mind us spoiling the show and talking about social realism and how women's lives get messed up by an unjust system," Helen shot back with an incendiary stare that made Michelle Peters flinch.
"We're talking about paying our dues- it happened to us and we didn't choose it. If you're going to talk about relationships and completely ignore a prison with thick stone walls right round it ten feet high keeping you apart from your nearest and dearest, you need to consider that opposites can attract, like Mulder and Scully as in the X-files." retorted Nikki with blunt forceful logic."We're fans of that series as it appeals to the mysterious and the unknown. I'm the emotional intuitive one like Mulder even though he's a guy and Helen's the analytical rational one just like Scully, incidentally a great reversal of conventional stereotypes. I'm most at home in jeans and trainers and Helen likes dressing up as you can see but we both have strong, distinct personalities. We communicate because we know how to meet in the middle. We went through hell and high water to get to where we are now. It was no casual one night stand in a club that's so easily possible. Together, we're unbeatable," Nikki declaimed clearly and proudly, the light of battle glowing in her eyes. Spontaneous applause rippled round the circle of women as these trenchant truths were laid down while a red faced Michelle Peters scowled in anger and quietly slipped off. Miranda let a little time pass for emotions to well up in support of these two strong-minded women who had that appealing air of ordinariness about them.
further questions and points raised were much more sympathetic and the two women eased into replying and expanding on their contributions in a relaxed manner.
"We're really lucky tonight to have two friends of ours drop in from across the Atlantic. What would really make this evening unique would be if Simone and Annabelle say a few words as all we've heard about them has been through the tabloids. I feel there's a common theme we could all explore together,"Miranda intervened claiming centre stage when the cross talk gradually fizzled to a halt.
While the group had asked questions of these visitors from foreign shores, the two women had suspected that this was coming and Simone's right hand had interlocked with Annabelle's left hand nervously. Some instinct prompted them to silently ask questions of themselves so as to ease them into making their own contribution. Somehow, tensed up as they were, they felt as if they were at the point of being just about to go on stage. They were as prepared as they ever would be and the audience awaited them. Nikki and Helen smiled encouragement at them with all the kindness of the world in their eyes. They knew Miranda would hold the ring to make this good for them. Suddenly, Alison and Vanessa appeared out of nowhere so two more friendly faces gave them reassurance. Sadie and her girlfriend Jenny waved genially in their direction from the far side of the circle.
"You start darling," Annabelle said, leaning shyly over to whisper into Simone's ear."I'll join in whenever."
Thus it was that Simone started to speak, drawing comfort from the fact that the situation of an attractive high school English teacher was a familiar experience for her audience to identify with. If the audience had grasped the reality of some faraway English prison where that extreme loss of freedom might be very hard to imagine, their situation should be a lot easier for the others to relate to. What buoyed her up was tonight, was her darling lover next to her and also that these women's sensitivities were wide open. Simone's smooth, slow voice transported the audience to everyone's archetypal girls school where all of them had undergone the irresistibly attractive, sometimes terrifying sensation of being drawn along the path where instincts led the way. The fair-haired woman was halfway tempted to stand up and stroll about the way she has as a teacher at St Theresa's but sitting as part of the circle felt better, a circle which would and must not be broken. As promised, Annabelle gently interposed her part of their shared story when the time felt right and she took up the slack. Gradually, the whole experience built up as if they were viewing this story on a cinema screen. Nikki and Helen were incredibly moved by the courage of these two women as they tried to find their way through their own conundrums
"You mean to say, Annabelle it was actually a criminal matter for you and Simone to make love when you were under eighteen? "questioned Helen incredulously.
"In England, the teacher could well lose her job if she was caught out but no more," added Nikki by way of helpful explanation.
"All it took was a jealous bitch called Cat Pegrum who'd hit on me before, who wanted to use me as her science project while she could carry on dating guys," Annabelle said bitterly.
"That is such a bad deal, Annabelle," Nikki answered, her voice overflowing with sympathy."I got expelled from boarding school and disowned by my parents when I was sixteen because a girl I didn't like got jealous of me and my first lover. We were all in the same form and I know how rivalries get sort of compressed in closed institutions. I still got dumped in the shit as I've always been upfront. "
That emotional bombshell that could only come from shared intimacy sparked off a beautifully mutually supportive set of conversations which somehow meshed in together and left no one out. Simone and Annabelle navigated their river of experiences as they threaded their way through their biography that went on well into the night. Finally, it started to peter out and the women started to circulate and chat in a pleasant, informal way. The evening became the kind when snatches of interesting conversations wafted their way round the room, equally to overhear as to take part in as the women circulated. During the middle of it, Annabelle passed by Miranda and noticed a smile stealing across her face as she passed a drink over to her and Simone.
"You've got a really nice smile. I'm really glad we aren't going to end up as enemies. You may be surprised to hear it but life's too short for unnecessary bullshit, mine as much as anyone's," Annabelle remarked with typical candour.
"'Dyke Mrs Robinson',"Miranda said with a soft laugh which was sparked by this young woman's refreshing candour and intelligence."Where did you get that line from, Annabelle? I'll let you into a secret but a long time ago, she struck me as the original sexy older woman and really wasted on the guy and as for her husband..."
The younger woman laughed out loud at the memory of the uptight corporate man who could so easily be one of her mother's friends.
"Such an asshole. I've seen his kind before," Annabelle commented acerbically.
"I've done my best to escape his kind. Mrs Robinson was supposed to be such a wicked woman yet I adore her. It means there's hope for me yet,"Miranda said, her voice tailing off on a slightly disconsolate note. The sharp-eyed younger woman figured out that this formidable woman has a vulnerable, lonely side to her.
Nikki approached Miranda with a touching nervousness of manner that surprised the self-assured woman. Neither she or Helen were on any kind of star trip which was the most appealing side of their personalities.
"Miranda, do you have a daytime hangout we can meet you guys at? We've only got another week or so before we have to fly back to England but we would make time for you all," she asked.
"What about the bar round the corner from the bank where I work? Simone and Annabelle know where it is," suggested Sadie to a nod of satisfaction from Miranda. They would get word for more than the normal handful to turn up any lunchtime they care to name.
"We're coming this way on Monday lunchtime if that's OK. Er, talking about Simone and Annabelle, Helen fixed up for us to go over to their place on Saturday night. We're not treading on anyone's toes are we?" Miranda could have loved this woman in another era she was so touchingly considerate as she sought to reassure her.
"Of course you're not. You and Helen are on holiday, remember? The time is yours. You've done so well in making this evening so memorable."
"Oh yeah, so we have," Nikki answered in her charmingly confused fashion. She'd got into the mindset of scheduling their holiday to ensure there was enough of them to go round when all the time it was their holiday and the time was their own.
In the meantime, Annabelle and Simone were having a great time, a nice golden haze in their systems partly due to the wine they'd been drinking. The atmosphere was already buzzing thanks to the soft music pulsing round the bar and the succession of emotional experiences and great conversations. The lights were low and women were fondly embracing in the corners. She and Simone exchanged loving looks as Annabelle boldly slid her arm round her lover's waist. She knew more than anything that the open exchange of intimacy was only really possible outside their house in this sort of environment and they knew that they were going to be part of this scene. It was certainly very accepting of them. A thought suddenly popped into the head of the younger woman as she realised that this scene might also be the source of help for the next stage in their life project.
"Hey Simone, what about checking out if anyone knows of a bass player and a drummer for our band? You know we need more than our two guitars."
"Your wish is our command," said Sadie from behind them."I can introduce you to Diane and Erin, better known as the Rhythm Sisters. They want to work with some class singers and writers."
Simone and Annabelle spun round, open mouthed as their dreams has suddenly become reality. Their first impression of these two women were good as they all started to chat away to each other...
Finally, the time came when the bar had to close and everyone started to stream out into the cool night air. It was really, really late. Simone and Annabelle stumbled along to their car alongside Helen whose arm lovingly encircled Nikki's waist. They'd been on an emotional high from engaging in interesting conversations with really interesting women so that, in the quietness of the night, snatches of them replayed themselves. Somehow it was fitting that these two visitors from distant shores happened to reconnect with their two most thoughtful questioners.
"You know, I can't believe you got through your troubles and came through the other side. They seem so huge," Simone said reflectively. t was in keeping with her that she had mulled over these intense experiences she'd come across and returned to them again.
"So do we looking back on it all," Nikki replied with a humorous edge."We were becoming the women we are right now and it wasn't easy going through heavy changes. That's what everyone should do."
"Makes sense to us. We're aspiring musicians," Annabelle commented. Both she and Simone had taken in this advice and absorbed it deeply.
"We were trapped in roles of prisoner and prison officer. Now, we have a semi-official existence as critics of the prison system and pool our knowledge to give practical help. I feel almost sorry for that woman who was talking about the free life. She just doesn't get it," Helen observed compassionately, obviously referring to Michelle Peters. She'd got her anger out of her system.
"There's more to it than that, Helen. There was all that bollocks was about 'can I show you my etchings?' That's the oldest chat up line in the book from some predatory young woman with intellectual bullshit. Real love, real intelligence, real caring feelings are something else," Nikki answered and Simone smiled to herself, having known the other woman of old.
"You mean they're all connected," interjected Annabelle, feeling more and more at home with these two comfortable down to earth women..
"Most people compartmentalise. They don't see connections where, at heart there are,"Simone continued in her soft gentle voice.
The older women smiled. These two Americans were women after their own hearts. They really took a shine to them and their minds were made up.
"She'll be all right," Nikki said in her laconic fashion."She's certainly not stupid. She really needs to know that she doesn't know everything in this world and when she does, she won't be so full of herself. She needs someone to give her a good kick up the backside and then she'll understand."
"And you're the one to give it her," grinned Helen good naturedly."That's why we accepted your kind invitation to come to your place on Sunday night. We want to carry on where we've left off tonight."
The two women arrived at their car and stumbled inside. They waved to the other women who were doing the same. They were tired out and happy and ready for the long journey home and their welcoming bed.