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Chapter Three, Dark Heart

Emma was so glad to be going home. She was finally free of her pestering father and the nuisances of public office.

Unfortunately, she wasn't free of the public. She scowled at the kids running past. "Quiet down!" she yelled. "Jeez, I like it here?" she muttered.

Boy she was in a foul mood. Maybe when she got home she could relax. Thankfully Henry was at Regina's. She didn't have to listen to the annoying video game sounds.

She just got to her car when she heard, "Swan."

She groaned. "No."

"Did you have a better day, Love?"

She turned and saw the ridiculous thickly lined eyes of Killian Jones. "No, and it just got worse."

Killian raised his eyebrow. "I see your mood hasn't improved."

"You're just so witty, Jones, how do you stand it?"

He smiled. "What do you say we go for dinner, huh? Maybe a bite to eat is just what you need to perk you up."

"I don't like being perky," she snapped. "And dinner with you would cause me to lose my appetite."

He stared. "Emma, again I must ask you, have I done something to incur your wrath?"

She balled her fists. "Yes. You're just..." She closed her eyes. She felt the urge to simply unleash on him. She held it in. "I just...need some space."

"Are you certain?"

"Of course I am! I'm a grown woman! I don't need you hovering around me all the time!"

"I am sorry if my presence bothers you."

"Well it does! Leave me alone," she screamed. She looked at his fallen face and felt a little twinge of something. "For a while," she added. She suddenly felt confused. Why was she so angry?

"As you wish," he said with a bow.

She sighed. She almost got in her car when she heard is annoying voice again. "You will contact me if you need me?"

"How the hell do I do that, Hook? You live in the dark ages!"

"The dark...I do not understand."

"Of course you don't." she sighed. She thought, 'What the hell did I see in you?' She didn't say it out loud though. "Good night, Killian," she said gruffly. She looked at him and felt a sudden surge of spite. "I won't need you. I'm sure." She saw the hurt in his eyes as she climbed in the car and drove off.

She walked into her new place. "Thank God I live alone now," she said aloud. She winced. She didn't. Henry shared his time between here and Regina's. Why did she get stuck with him at all?

Those thoughts hit her in her gut. What was she thinking? She loved Henry. She loved her parents. And Killian...

She shook her head. She felt ill. Worse, she was scared. Something was wrong with her.

"No. I'm just having an off day," she assured herself. "Yeah." She decided a nice long soak in the tub might help.

She sighed in the tub as she let the stupidity of the day drain away. She wrapped herself in her robe and walked out of the bathroom. As she went to the kitchen, she passed the guest room.

'Killian's room,' she'd thought when she saw it, a place where he could stay. A place for him where he could be home. "Home," she said out loud, with a sad regret inside.

It did not last. Suddenly she felt a hot flash of anger, even hate. She shuddered. Suddenly the thought of being with Killian made her ill.

She stepped away from the room. She scoffed. She had thought it could be his place when she wanted him close but had Henry over and she didn't want a man in her room. She had thought about him in her room, in her bed.

Just last night she had considered giving herself to him. They hadn't been intimate yet but she had been sure it was only a matter of time. She was ready to. So why now...ugh! What was going on with her?

Now the thought of being with him nearly made her want to vomit. She felt such raw hate and disgust that it shook her.

"What is wrong with me?" she cried. She fell to the floor. "I don't understand!"

She tried to eat a light dinner, but couldn't. She wasn't hungry. She poured herself some wine, a lot of wine. She thought about Killian and felt like her feelings for him were actually changing, and fast.

And it wasn't just Killian, it was David too. In fact, it was kind of everyone.

Suddenly her cell rang and she prayed to God it wasn't David and that Killian hadn't gone mobile. She groaned. It was Mary-Margaret.

"What?"

"Ooh. You're not very happy, are you?"

Emma sighed. Even faced with rudeness, Mary-Margaret was still the eternally cheerful princess of the Enchanted Forest. "I'm...not feeling...well, I guess."

"Hmm. Your dad said you were having a bad day. Want to talk about it?"

Her first impulse was to scream no. Her second was to ask Mary-Margaret the questions she had been asking herself. "No," she said simply.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

"It might make you feel better."

"No."

"I don't mind. Go ahead, Emma, unload."

"Mom...uh, Mary Mar..." She sighed. She was fighting now, between the urge to give into the black feeling in her heart and the fading desire not to hurt the woman on the phone.

"Sweetie?"

"I...no. I have to go..."

"Emma honey, talk to me. Did Killian do something?"

She was ready to rant about the pirate, but then she realized that the answer to her question was no. He hadn't done anything. "He's...been perfect," she said a little coldly.

"Are you having second thoughts though about him and you, maybe?"

She was silent.

"Emma, please, let me in."

"I don't want to! Jeez, do you have to be so nosy?"

"I'm sorry. I was just trying to help."

Emma could almost feel her heart darken. "I know, that's all you ever do: try to help! Did you ever think that maybe people don't want your busy body, chirpy, 'everything will work out,' attitude? Who the hell do you think you are that you can fix everyone!"

There was a stunned silence. Then she heard her mother in a very empty tone whisper her name.

"Like your life is so damn perfect! You have a shitty job, a whiny infant, a holier-than-thou husband, and a daughter you barely know because you missed more than half her life!"

Mary-Margaret gasped. "Emma!"

"Goodbye!" Emma screamed, ending the call. Then she turned off the cell and went to bed early.

She felt pain in her chest. It was like her heart was ripping and twisting itself into something new and wicked. Fury balled inside her. No, it wasn't just fury, it was hate, pure and raw.

Hate for everyone.

She hated Mary-Margaret for being so sickening sweet. She hated David for being so tolerant and open minded. She hated her brother for being a baby.

She hated Ruby for taking forever to make coffee and not figuring out sooner that she'd run out of it eventually. Idiot. She hated everyone in town. They always looked to her. She was the savior. Well who the hell saved her?

Suddenly she thought of Killian.

Suddenly she felt a wave of light, of calm.

Killian saved her.

Her parents...they did want her. They hadn't wanted to give her up.

Henry had found her and brought her here.

She calmed. She even let out a giggle. Maybe everything would be all right now. She felt a brief moment of hope.

Then a sharp pain stabbed her heart and she cried out. She felt heat, a glow of anger.

"I hate them all." She took her wine glass and through it against the wall. She let the hate wash over her.

She didn't need saving after all. She lived quite well on her own. She had been abandoned time after time. She could only count on herself.

She didn't need some one handed pirate to save her.

She didn't need her parents. They did abandon her and then try to force their way back into her life.

She even hated Henry. She admitted it. She hated having someone dependent on her, someone to care for, someone to... love.

Love. She didn't need it. She didn't want it. Love was pain, weakness. She would only get hurt.

She didn't need any of them. She hated them for trying to draw her back into the lie that love was strength. It wasn't.

She fell asleep feeling the blackness creeping over her, seeping even further into her mind and heart.

The next morning she was so full of hatred, it oozed off her and she liked it. She opened the front door, glaring at the sun and daring the birds to sing.

Then she saw him.

"Damn it, Hook! Why the hell are you here?"

He stared at her. He was shocked by her appearance. Not only was her face a mask of hate, but she seemed...dark. Her skin almost looked like it had a black mist over it, her hair had lost its shine and her eyes...

He swore he saw a shadow pass over them. "I...I was worried about you Emma."

She scoffed. "I don't need your pathetic worry," she spat as she closed her door. "Go the hell away!"

"Love, what's wrong?"

She pointed a finger at him like a knife. "Don't you dare call me that!"

"Emma, please, talk to me. Have I done something to anger you?"

"You just being you angers me!"

He frowned. "Might I inquire how long you have felt this way?"

She backed down a bit at that. "I...I..."

"Because until recently you did not appear to dislike my affections."

"I...I didn't, but now..."

"The other night, we had a lovely time."

"That night was a mistake."

"Why? What has changed?"

She stared right into his eyes. "I've changed," she said, weak and vulnerable for a moment.

"Emma, let me help you." He stepped forward, but she retreated.

"No!" she cried. He was pushing and it scared her. It alarmed her and stirred her heart. It made it even darker. "I don't need help!"

"Yes, you do, something is wrong."

She scoffed. "You're what's wrong!"

"Emma you're frightening me."

"Good! Stay away then!" She tried to push past him but he reached out for her.

The sight of his hand terrified her. For some reason he must not touch her, she didn't know why. It was a strange, urgent...warning from somewhere deep inside, a place that was quickly being buried.

"No!" she screamed. "Don't touch me! Don't ever touch me!" She pushed him back.

He stared at her, in shock.

She felt the darkness swirl over the strange feeling she'd briefly had. She felt the hate renew.

"I hate being around you! I hate the sound of your voice! The sight of your stupid face makes my skin crawl!"

He backed up. "Emma..."

"Go away! Leave me alone! Stop...calling on me!"

He shook his head. This was incredibly bad. "This isn't you."

"It is now!" she cried, evil glee in her voice. "I'm warning you, Hook, if you don't let me go, I will arrest you and lock you up for another three centuries!"

"As you wish," he said quietly. He moved to the side, letting her pass.

She slowly, cautiously moved, keeping her eyes on him. She got to her car and sped off, not minding the speed limit.

Hook stood still, shaking his head. He needed to talk to someone, and fast.

End of Chapter Three