So sorry it took me forever to update a story. I've been crazy busy with my new job and I just flew to Chicago this past weekend to visit a friend and see Audra McDonald in concert. She is AMAZING live! Anyway, hope this chapter isn't too awful. I'll try to update 'A Night To Remember' by Sunday. XOXO
Chapter Five
"I can't believe you're still working. You're due in three days" Maya complained, as she sat on her mother's bed and watched her finish getting ready. After dropping Olivia off at daycare early, she'd stopped by this morning to check on her mom before heading off to school.
"What would you have me do? Lie in bed all day and stare at the ceiling? I don't need any more time to obsess over how much giving birth is going to hurt. Mothers love to tell you that once you hold your baby in your arms, you forget about the pain. It's the biggest lie I've ever heard. I still remember how much it hurt having you like it was yesterday.
"At least you didn't have to have major surgery. I would have rather given birth the old fashioned way than get a C-section".
"You say that now. Wait until you have your next child…many years from now of course. It is no fun pushing a tiny human being the size of a bowling ball through a hole the size of a doughnut".
"It sounds like you're obsessing whether you're working or not. You might as well stay home and rest. I know you have to be tired; plus your ankles are swollen and your back has been killing you for months. You need to take better care of yourself mom.
"I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine Maya. I'm pregnant, not handicapped. Aches and pains come with the territory of being pregnant. But that doesn't mean I should stop working if I'm still capable".
"I bet if dad were here, he wouldn't have even let you get out of bed this morning".
"Well, your dad isn't here and if he was, he would have lost this fight too. Contrary to your beliefs dear, your father listened to me, not the other way around".
Maya choked down a giggle. "If you say so". She couldn't count how many times her mother had said no or refused to do something her father had asked. All he had had to do was kiss her or whisper something in her ear and she would cave. Maya remembered her mother pulling the same exact trick on her father numerous times. They had been in love and weak for each other, equal partners. It used to get on her nerves, gross her out to see her parents all over each other, constantly making out like teenagers. Now, she would give almost anything to see them so happy and together. What was the most frustrating part was that Maya knew her parents still loved each other. If they could just get over their own hurt egos and pride, they would realize they were still meant for each other. The little brother who would be making his entrance into the world soon was proof.
"I do say so".
Looking down, Maya twiddled her thumbs. "Are you sure you don't want to tell dad about…"
"Maya, not today. Please" Naomi begged. It was hard enough keeping her nervousness about giving birth at bay without her daughter bringing up telling Sam about the baby again.
Sighing, Maya consented and changed the subject. "So when is grandma coming"?
"Her flight gets in this evening if the weather permits. The news keeps forecasting a huge blizzard that could either delay or cancel flights. It's a good thing I'm only working at the hospital today. I don't have to see any patients, so I'll be in the lab all day. It would be a nightmare having to go back and forth to the office in a snowstorm".
"I know what you mean. It already looks pretty bad out there. I'm hoping it will stop earlier than they predicted. How long is grandma staying"?
"Me too. She says she's staying for six weeks. We'll see; we might be trying to kill each other by then" Naomi laughed. "How is packing going? Are you getting excited about Barcelona? You're only two weeks away".
"It's going okay. I think it's finally beginning to sink in for Olivia that we're going someplace new; she's excited. But I know my child. As soon as she realizes we won't get to see you that often, she's going to freak out. And I'm afraid about how this will affect her relationship with Dink. They don't see each other enough as it is".
"How does Dink feel about Spain"?
"Surprisingly, he is very supportive. He told me not to worry, told me we would find a way to make sure he and Olivia still saw each other. He's probably all mellow because of that new girlfriend he doesn't think I know about".
"Oh, I'm sorry Maya".
"Don't be. I don't know when it happened, but one morning I woke up and realized I was over it. Dink was great but he wasn't my soul mate, I know that now". Maya had learned that from watching her parents. Even though they were apart, she could feel the yearning emanating off their bodies. They'd deluded themselves into thinking they were happy, but they were miserable without each other. Maya couldn't say she'd ever felt that way about Dink. Sure, she'd been hurt and missed him when they'd separated, but she'd never woken up in the middle of the night reaching out or calling for him. Maya had the distinct feeling her mother had reached out for her father.
"When did my little girl grow up and turn into such a mature young adult" Naomi smiled, looking at her daughter through the mirror's reflection.
"Your guess is as good as mine". Maya hopped off the bed and grabbed her backpack. "I have to go". Heading towards the door, she looked back and said "If you can't stay home, at least promise me you'll try to take it easy".
Naomi sighed. Her daughter's concern for her was sweet and annoying at the same time. "I promise".
…
"What's wrong with you"?
"Huh" Naomi asked, absentmindedly stirring her iced tea. Violet's voice had yanked her out of her head and back into the present, but she still hadn't heard what she said. They were out to lunch but Naomi had been distracted all day; more like all month. Ever since that fight with her mother and daughter, she'd been irritated and restless. She had yet to reconcile with them.
"What's wrong with you" Violet asked again.
"What do you mean" Naomi responded, confused. "Nothing is wrong with me".
"I disagree, something definitely is. We've been friends for over a decade, but lately I feel like I don't know you at all. You're so different".
"Don't say that Violet" Naomi said, frowning. "I'm still the same woman you met all those years ago".
"Maybe, but you're certainly not acting like it. I naively thought that once you rejoined the practice, things would pick up where they left off. I thought it would feel like you never left. I couldn't have been more wrong. You've changed so much Nae. You used to be so open, funny, and generous. Now you're reserved, serious, and isolated. I'm surprised you agreed to have lunch with me today. That inner light you had used to shine so brightly, now I can barely see it. I'm worried about you".
Naomi was shocked. "Is that how you really see me? Because the way you just described me makes me sound like the saddest person walking the earth. And I'm not sad, not by a long shot". How could she be when she had the most amazing baby at home?
"But how would I know that" Violet asked. "Getting anything out of you is like pulling teeth. Hell, you joining in a conversation that's not work related is a miracle. You don't share your life with the rest of us like you used to. All I know about you is that you come to work every day. I don't know what you do afterwards or on the weekends or who you do it with; one thing's for sure, you're not hanging out with any us. You've been back for almost three months and I don't even know where you live".
Naomi knew she had been less social; Violet wasn't the first person to point it out to her. Part of it was self-imposed. Being back in California still felt uncomfortable in many respects; sometimes it was easier to stay disengaged than pretend being back wasn't hard. However, the majority of the reason had to do with Isaiah. Her daily goal was to get her work done and get home to him. That didn't leave much time for socializing, not even between patients. Every minute counted. And since she was keeping Isaiah a secret from Sam, she couldn't talk about how much she was enjoying being a mother again. Or invite people to where she lived when there were baby clothes, toys, and an actual baby in the house. What had seemed like a necessary and brilliant plan in New York was now becoming a big convoluted mess in California. How was she supposed to smooth over ruffled feathers? "Look, I'm sorry. I guess I'm having a harder time adjusting back into the fold of things than I thought. In New York, it was just me, Maya, and Olivia. I didn't have as many friends out there so when I wasn't with my family, I kept to myself and I got used to my privacy. I know less than two years is a short time compared to how long I previously worked at the practice, but I guess I haven't been able to shake that east coast mentality yet".
Violet regarded Naomi closely. She didn't doubt that part of what Naomi had said might be true, but she was holding back and keeping secrets. "Is part of the reason you're having a hard time because of Sam and Addison" she asked, trying to get to the bottom of things.
Naomi rolled her eyes. "Really Violet? Do we have to go there"?
"Yes, really. Seeing them together can't exactly be a pleasant sight for you. And it's no secret they're the reason you went to New York in the first place".
"That's news to me. Last time I checked, I went to New York for my daughter".
"Yeah, but Sam and Addison made that decision even easier for you, didn't they" Violet insisted.
Naomi stopped fiddling with her iced tea and looked directly at Violet. A little honesty wouldn't hurt. "You're right, they did. I don't like Sam and Addison together. I didn't like it before I left and I don't like it now that I'm back. Their relationship will never sit comfortably with me; but I can't control their emotions any more than they can control mine. I don't have a claim over either of them. So while the sight of them is unpleasant, it has nothing to do with how I'm settling back into California life".
"But how does them being together affect your individual relationships with them"?
"Violet, this is not a therapy session and I'm not your patient".
"Great, then you should have no problem answering my question" Violet smiled sweetly.
Naomi just stared.
"Oh come on Nae! This is the most I've gotten out of you since you've been back. Don't stop now"!
Sighing, Naomi said "Fine. I know they never set out to hurt me but I feel a little betrayed. They're less trustworthy in my eyes. With Addison, I don't feel like our friendship is over but I feel like I can't confide in her anymore. Our friendship has become more shallow or surface level if that makes sense. Sam is a little different. We've been in this weird space for years, ever since we got divorced. And our deep connection can't be severed as easily because of Maya and Olivia. I don't want to confide in him either but after all those years of marriage and genuine friendship, he knows me too well. Sometimes I can't keep things from him". And sometimes she could, Naomi thought silently.
Violet nodded; what Naomi was saying made complete sense. "Do they know how you feel"?
"I haven't told them if that's what you mean. I think Addison knows to a certain extent; she tries to be cautious of what she says around me. Even though, at this point, it doesn't matter. She's already with Sam, she might as well talk about it whether I'm there or not. Sam is completely oblivious. As much as he gets me, he doesn't understand how women relate to each other. I don't think he ever stopped to think about how his relationship with Addison would affect me; he still considers me his best friend, still confides in me".
"Men can be so clueless. It looks like Sam has been steering clear of you the last couple of weeks though" Violet observed.
"Because I told him to; he pissed me off. I just told you how I feel about Sam and Addison, yet I let that man sit in my office and vent about all his worries and concerns over Addison and their baby drama, even gave him advice. I was even trying to do the same for Addison that day we were in the kitchen. And how does he repay me? Blames me for running my mouth. He apologized but he should have known better".
"I get why you're upset with Sam, but why were you trying to help them in the first place? Wouldn't you feel better if they broke up"?
"Mainly for selfish reasons" Naomi admitted. "I don't want to deal with or hear about their daily drama; so the sooner they work out their issues, the better. The damage has been done; them breaking up wouldn't make a difference at this point".
"Makes sense".
"Are you done interrogating me? Because I'm tired of talking about this".
"I'll let you off the hook for now, but only on one condition".
"What" Naomi asked.
"You come to Addison's dinner party tonight. You're finally opening up and I don't want to give you the chance to shut back down. Everyone misses the open and honest side of Naomi you're showing me right now. It'll be just us girls, so we can sit there and talk and gossip as long as we want" Violet proposed.
"I don't know" Naomi hesitated. Isaiah hadn't been feeling well for a couple of days. He was teething and it was causing a low grade fever. She didn't think it would be appropriate to be out when he was sick.
"Please Nae" Violet begged.
She was in a rock in a hard place. She hated the idea of staying out late when her son wasn't feeling good. However, if Naomi didn't try harder to integrate back into the practice, her suspicious behavior would come under even closer scrutiny. "I won't make any promises but I I'll try to make it" Naomi finally said. Internally, she'd decided to call her babysitter, Danielle, and check on Isaiah before she made up her mind.
"I'll take it" Violet said excitedly, as they resumed their lunch.
…
It was a nice warm evening with a soothing salty breeze. The ladies sat on the patio of Addison's house, eating dinner and talking, with a clear uninterrupted view of the Pacific Ocean. The sun was setting, leaving bright hues of orange, pink, and red painted across the horizon. When Naomi could manage to stop thinking about Isaiah, she had to admit to herself she was having a decent time. It was nice to have an adult conversation, talk with people who could talk back. She would have to remember to thank Violet later; this evening was starting to remind her she was more than just a mom. As Naomi took a sip of wine, she tried not to laugh as she listened to Amelia's tirade.
"So the guy sticks me with the dinner bill and then had the nerve to expect me to invite him in. He's lucky I let him even walk me to the door. I should have punched him in his throat" Amelia said, as she recounted her latest dating horror story.
"Oh my God, that's terrible" Addison exclaimed.
"No, what you should have done is pay your half of the bill and left him at the restaurant looking dumb" Charlotte said.
"I thought about it but I needed a ride home. And at the rate, the restaurant was so far away, it was cheaper to pay for his meal. He must've spent all his money on filling up his gas tank" Amelia explained, rolling her eyes, as she took a sip of wine.
"Every time I hear one of your stories, I'm even more grateful that I'm a married woman" Violet confessed. "I do not miss the dating scene at all. Lucas and Pete are my life".
"Please don't remind me" Amelia complained. "Do you know how hard it is to work with the three of you" she asked, pointing to Violet, Charlotte, and Addison. "You guys walk in almost every morning with the glow of morning sex, all happy and in love. It's so annoying. At least I'm not the only single woman at the practice anymore, that's my only consolation".
Naomi smiled as she shook her head. "I'm not sure we're in the same boat Amelia. I've already done the marriage thing. And while it was great, I'm not looking to try it again. I'm actually enjoying being single".
"Are you serious? If anyone was built for long-term relationships, it's you. Why wouldn't you give marriage another chance" Addison asked.
Naomi shrugged her shoulders. "I guess my priorities have changed. Marriage and relationships are not at the top or even near the top of my list right now".
"So, when is the last time you went on a date" Violet asked.
She remembered the last date she'd had like it was yesterday; how she'd told Fife it wasn't going to work. He'd been the one to help Naomi come to terms with her feelings for Sam. In a surprising un-Fife like move, he'd encouraged her to act on her feelings; unfortunately, the advice had come too late. "I think it's been over two years. It was definitely before I moved to New York" Naomi replied, not supplying any additional information.
"Two years?! When's the last time you had sex" Amelia asked curiously, not concerned about tact.
Naomi's leg involuntarily began to bounce up and down under the table. The last time she had had sex, Isaiah had been created. "Over a year ago" she answered vaguely, glancing at Sam's old house, the house he still owned, in her periphery.
"There's no way" Charlotte exclaimed, shaking her head, her eyes wide with disbelief. "I would be in a padded cell climbing the walls if I went that long without sex".
"How is it even possible to go that long without sex? I think I would die" Amelia said.
"That's what showerhead massagers are for" Naomi teased.
"Yeah, but don't you miss the companionship? Skin to skin contact, holding someone close, feeling someone breathe on your heated flesh. Sex is emotional as well as physical" Addison said, a little dazed.
Flashbacks momentarily coursed through Naomi's head as she remembered the way Sam had looked at her, touched her, made love to her. She looked over at Addison who was undoubtedly thinking about the same thing with the same person. If she was honest with herself, sometimes she did miss the touch of a man, but the headaches that came with it were not worth it; not at this point in her life. Just as she was about to answer Addison, her cellphone rang. She glanced down at her phone on the table and recognized Danielle's number on the caller ID. Why was she calling? "I'm sorry, I have to take this, should only be a minute" Naomi said as she brought the phone to her ear. "Hey Danielle…."
"Danielle, calm down. I can't understand a word you're saying" Naomi said, though her heartbeat started to pound against her ribcage as her own panic was started to rise. Something was wrong with Isaiah, she could feel it. She knew she should have listened to her gut instinct and went home.
"What….what do you mean he stopped breathing?! You told me everything was fine, that I didn't have to worry" Naomi shouted as she backed up and rose from the table, tears bursting from her eyes. She was completely blind to the stares she was receiving. If anything happened to her son, she would never forgive herself; she wouldn't be able to go on living.
"He's breathing again?! Oh thank goodness…"
"In the ambulance…."
"What hospital are they taking him to…"
"I'm on my way. I'll meet you there" Naomi said urgently, hanging up the phone. Hurriedly, she wiped her eyes and looked around for her belongings. Her son needed her more than ever.
"Naomi, is everything okay" Violet asked quietly, everyone else too shell-shocked to speak. They had no idea what was going on; this was part of Naomi's life they knew nothing about. But from her end of the conversation, it sounded like someone she loved dearly was fighting for their life. How could they not know who that someone was.
"No, I have to go" Naomi said, before she located her keys and rushed towards her car, leaving her friends and colleagues completely in the dark.