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One weekend a few weeks later Lane came to stay. She and Rory walked all around the city, frequented several music stores and by the end of the day Rory had to physically lead Lane away from a large vinyl collection. The two got coffee and walked slowly back to the apartment, where they curled up on the couch and ate the Chinese food Rory ordered. They ate hastily, hungry from the day's endeavours, before sinking into a comfortable silence. Rory lazily stretched out her legs, adjusting a cushion behind her, and smiled at her friend. Lane was sitting up and examining the records and CDs she had bought, holding the vinyl as though it were hallowed.

"Good haul, huh?"

Lane jumped and grinned.

"More than that. I know I spent too much money but it's worth it. These are so rare, Zach is going to go nuts. I still can't believe I'm touching them, let alone owning them!"

"It's pretty cool."

"More than pretty cool, Rory. Those stores were awesome. New York is awesome. I know there were even more records in that other place."

Lane's voice took on a grudging tone and Rory retorted,

"Hey, you made me take you away from the last store. You told me if I didn't you'd spend all your life savings."

"I did, didn't I?" Lane said sheepishly. "I still wish I could browse some more."

"You'll just have to come back then," Rory said lightly. Lane smiled.

"I guess so."

Rory frowned and sat up.

"What's wrong?" she asked. "You know you came come anytime you want."

"I know, it's just –" Lane paused and said,

"Do you remember when I stayed with you at Yale?"

"Of course."

"Well, it was awesome living there with you but I always knew it was temporary. Even when I first got there and didn't know what I was going to do, I always knew I was a visitor."

Rory looked at her, puzzled, and Lane said,

"I'm always going to be a visitor here. I know there's no other way it could be and I don't want it to be different, but I kind of feel sad, going around the music stores and knowing I have to go home."

"Lane."

"I'm not unhappy," Lane said quickly, waving her hand. "I'm okay, I'm good, it's only – I wish I could come here and not think about going home. That's all."

"Lane," Rory said, unsure of what to say. "I...I'm sorry, I didn't –"

"Don't be sorry," Lane said quickly. "It's not a bad thing, going home. I never realise how much I miss my kids until I go back. I just think it's really cool, living here like this."

"Maybe you could," Rory said eagerly and, seeing her friend frown in disbelief, added, "I don't mean in an apartment like this, somewhere like Brooklyn. Tons of families live there, why couldn't you?"

"How could we afford that?"

"If you or Zach got a job..." Rory's voice faded as she realised how it sounded and Lane smiled.

"No, we're good where we are. It's a great place for the kids to grow up, Zach has a job, the boys are starting Kindergarten next fall – we have a life there. Everyone looks out for us. It's secure."

Rory nodded and Lane said haltingly,

"Maybe some day, in the future, we could look for someplace else."

"Really?"

"Well, the house is pretty cramped. Nico's still a baby but she's starting to walk. Maybe in a couple of years we could find somewhere bigger, but it probably won't be far away. It definitely won't be New York."

Rory smiled apologetically and Lane said brightly,

"But we will definitely come to visit."

"You have to!"

"I don't know how I feel about taking all the kids on the subway," Lane said, looking a little pale. "I might wait for a few years."

"I'll just have to be happy with you then," Rory teased. "And let you buy up all the vinyl in New York."

They both laughed and Lane looked around.

"It really is a great apartment, Rory. Do you like it?"

Rory followed her friend's eye. She had successfully erected two bookshelves, one by herself and one with Jess's help, which had resulted in a fight over brackets and resolved through sorting her fiction, placed posters on the walls and photographs of her mother and friends around the apartment. There were lamps to read by and colourful rug on the floor and Rory smiled.

"Yes, I like it," she said truthfully. "It felt a little weird at first, like I was renting someone else's place, but it doesn't feel strange anymore."

"You've made it your own," Lane agreed. "It feels like Rory."

Rory started laughing.

"What does that mean?" she giggled and Lane explained,

"It feels like you. Like your bedroom at Stars Hollow – it was totally yours. And even when you shared a room with Paris, I could tell which part belonged to you."

"Paris's craft corner didn't give it away?"

"You know that I mean," Lane grinned. "It was your place."

Rory cast her mind back to living in California with Logan and their home here. His home there. Their apartment had been simple and tasteful. The walls were cream-coloured, the space separated only by the television and Logan's games console. Rory's bookshelf had stood in the corner but that too felt almost as though it belonged to someone else, weighted by Logan's large, garish books on computers and business while Rory's novels languished on the bottom shelf. She had only one framed picture which lived in the corner of the bedroom, easy to miss. Even once they moved back to Connecticut it had never felt like her home.

"Rory?"

Rory blinked. Lane was staring at her in concern and Rory smiled, shaking her head.

"Sorry. Just thinking."

"It's weird to think," Lane said, somewhat telepathically, "that just a couple of years ago you were out in California."

"It is."

"You know, I never got to visit you there."

"I don't think you missed much."

Lane tilted her head to the side, pursing her lips and, mistaking her look for annoyance, Rory added,

"No offence to the state itself. I'm sure it's a great place when you're not having a marital crisis."

"I wasn't thinking that," Lane laughed. "I was just thinking about how crazy it is that you lived out there and now you're here living on your own."

Rory shrugged and Lane asked,

"Does it feel like a long time ago?"

"It does and doesn't," Rory said simply. "When I think about it, it feels a long way away, but I remember it really well. Sometimes I dream about being there."

"You do?"

"I dream I'm outside, looking in," Rory said. "Like I'm looking at myself and telling myself to go."

Rory stopped, embarrassed, and Lane asked,

"Do you listen? You to...you, I guess?"

"No," Rory said. "I don't see myself at all. Sometimes I start to look up and that's when I wake up."

"Wow."

"I emailed Doctor Moran about it," Rory said. "She told me to keep a dream diary. It's kind of weird, writing it all down, but it's interesting. There's stuff I would forget otherwise."

"Do you still talk to her a lot?"Lane asked carefully. "Do you see someone here?"

"I email Doctor Moran sometimes," Rory said. "I feel good, most of the time, but sometimes I feel weird. I haven't seen anyone here yet but I might. I'm still taking her advice for now."

"You look really good, Rory," Lane said. "I don't mean you looked awful before, but –"

"I know what you mean," Rory interrupted with a small smile. "Thanks."

Lane smiled back and asked,

"Do you like your job here?"

"Yes," Rory said honestly. "I do. I love it. It felt a little scary at first and sometimes I still feel freaked out, but I wouldn't want to do anything else."

"It's what you always wanted to do."

"I really wanted to be Christiane Amanpour," Rory said. "But this is pretty good."

"Still," Lane said, "not everything's changed. You're back with Jess again!"

Rory's cheeks pinked and she looked bashful as Lane said,

"Like when you were eighteen! Are you still with him?"

"You know I am! He's coming over tomorrow, remember?"

"Right. Is it weird, him living in Philadelphia?"

"It's not that far away, Lane!"

"I know, but do you want him to move here? Or do you want to there?"

"I'm happy with what we have," Rory said firmly. "It's not that far and I like living on my own."

Lane looked curious and Rory went on,

"I've never lived on my own before. It feels a little weird sometimes but it's good as well. I feel independent, I know I can do it on my own. Maybe in the future we'll live together but right now I'm good where I am. I miss him and Mom living right there but I wouldn't change it."

"Do you miss Lorelai a lot?"

"Yes," Rory said honestly. "But I've been to the last two Friday Night dinners and we talk on the phone nearly every night. She's coming to stay next week."

"I got to stay before Lorelai?" Lane said incredulously. "Wow, I'm privileged!"

"Well, Mom was going to come before but something came up at the Dragonfly."

"So I'm second choice?" Lane teased. Rory gave her a hug.

"You're always first choice, Lane."

Lane hugged her back tightly.

"I knew I did something smart, going up to you in Kindergarten," she laughed, her eyes bright, and Rory said,

"Back atcha. Do you want to watch a really bad movie?"

"You know it!"

Rory and Lane went to bed at midnight and woke at midday. They ate cookie mix for breakfast and were making some more when Jess came by an hour later.

"I expect this from her," he said, pointing at Rory. "I'm surprised at you, Lane!"

"Hey, I'm a mom," Lane said defensively. "I never get to eat cookie dough for breakfast!"

"Be careful, Jess," Rory teased. "You'll start channelling Luke and telling us how we need to start eating grapefruit every morning or we'll kill our immune system."

"A fate worse than death," Jess said seriously. "I'd tell you you're turning into your mother but –"

"Too late," Rory grinned.

"Exactly. How are you, Lane?" Jess asked, taking a seat beside them and eating some of the dough.

"I'm good. Jess, do I need my prescription changed? I'm sure I walked past Luke's last week and saw you drinking coffee with Lorelai."

"You don't need your prescription changed," Rory answered for him. "He and Mom are friends now. I didn't know they were coffee buddies though."

"Really?" Lane asked incredulously and Jess, blushing, said,

"Look, I came to see Luke to get some stuff I left last time and Lorelai was there too. We just sat together, we're not making friendship bracelets. We're definitely not coffee buddies."

"Yet," Rory said, nudging him, and as she and Lane laughed she said,

"We're just teasing, Jess. Let's go get some coffee."

The three went back into the city and found more music stores. Lane bought more CDs, saying they were too rare not to get, and was still repeating it to herself as Rory walked her back to her car when it was time for her to leave.

"Lane, relax," Rory said, hugging her goodbye. "Zach'll love them just as much as you."

"It's not Zach I'm worried about," Lane retorted. "It's my future self looking at the electric bill!"

"Tell her to think of rock and roll," Rory said and they both laughed. "I'm glad you came, Lane."

"Me too," Lane said, hugging her goodbye. "I miss you, Rory."

"I miss you too."

"I know you've lived here for a while now," Lane said, "but sometimes I think you're still at Lorelai's and I plan to go over once the boys are with Mama."

"I'll be home next week," Rory reminded her. "Then you really can come over."

"Yeah," Lane agreed. "Besides, this way I have an excuse to go to New York!"

"More than an excuse."

They hugged again and Lane said sadly,

"I really have to go back now."

"I know. Drive safe."

"I will," Lane said. She hugged Rory again, promised to give her love to Zach and the kids and got into the car. Rory waited until she had started the engine and had driven away before looking up. Jess had walked up without saying a word and he took Rory's hand.

"She's gone, huh?"

"Yeah," Rory sniffled. "I miss her."

"I know."

"I didn't see her all the time at Stars Hollow, she's a mom, she's busy, but she was right there and –"

"I know, Rory."

"I'll see her next week," Rory said, more to herself than to Jess. "It's not so long."

Jess squeezed her hand and Rory nestled into his chest.

"Want to get some Mexican food?"

"Yeah," Rory said in a muffled voice. "I do."

They headed to a vendor's and got food to go. They carried it back to the apartment and just as they got inside it started to rain. Rory lit a lamp and they ate in companionable silence, the water on the roof making Rory feel warm. As they finished Jess wiped his hands on a napkin and then got out another bag which he'd hidden beneath the couch. He smiled at Rory's frown of confusion and drew out two books.

"What are these?"

"I thought you might want cheering up after Lane left," Jess said. "So I found a book you might like."

"You didn't have to do that!"

"I know. I wanted to. I got us one each and when we finish we can trade."

Rory took the book Jess held out and started to leaf through it.

"Thank you," she said, looking up. "It looks great."

"It's pretty obscure. We'll have to go back to the place I got it, it had an awesome collection."

"Definitely," Rory said and, looking out at the rain, "not now though."

"Some other time," Jess agreed, lying back down on the couch. "It can wait."

Rory woke some time later, the novel splayed on her knees. Jess was fast asleep, his mouth open and the book flat on his chest. Rory smiled and carefully got up, trying not to wake him. Jess didn't stir and Rory looked down at him for a moment. He looked vulnerable as he slept, his brow unfurrowed in his dreams. Rory tiptoed away and looked out of the window. The sky was black, the rain making a sibulous sound against the pane. It was more like fall than summer and as Rory looked out she saw her reflection in the glass. She saw herself clad in jeans, her shirt slightly creased and the reflected Rory smiled back, reminding her of her dream. It seemed, conversely, that it was Rory in the glass who was watching, assuring herself when her dream self could not – she was where she needed to be. She was okay. Rory closed her eyes, breathing in, and when she opened them she was still solid and there. I am here. I am okay.