Chapter Seven

Loud cries coming through the baby monitor abruptly tore Naomi away from her deep slumber. Slowly, she sat up, rubbed her eyes and glanced at the clock on the nightstand. It was almost two o'clock in the morning. He was right on schedule. Pushing the covers back, Naomi got out of the bed and walked down the hall to the nursery, her eyes still heavy with sleep. She felt like a zombie. It was so hard being a mother to a newborn; especially when this time around, she was doing it by herself. She didn't have a partner she could take turns with. Her mother was still in town, and a tremendous help, but Naomi purposely flew solo during the night. Her mom couldn't stay forever so she had to get used to being the only one available during the early hours of the morning. As she walked into the nursery, Isaiah was still screaming, even louder than before; for three weeks old, his lung capacity was impressive. "Shhh, it's okay Zay-Zay. Mommy is right here" she said groggily, walking over to the crib.

Naomi picked him up and placed several kisses all over Isaiah's face, soothing him. She was dead tired but couldn't help but smile and give tons of affection every time she saw him. Words couldn't express how much she loved him. Isaiah calmed down until he was only making whining noises. His tiny lips puckered, like a fish. He was hungry. Knowing she would fall back to sleep if she sat down in the rocking chair, Naomi carried Isaiah out to the living room. Sitting on the couch, she turned on the TV; a late night marathon of 'Golden Girls' was playing. After untying the top of her nightgown with one hand, she carefully repositioned her son parallel to her exposed chest and let him latch on to her breast. Naomi winced as he began to suck greedily. She'd forgotten how painful breastfeeding could be; she was slowly getting used to it again, but it was still uncomfortable. Yet when she looked down at her child, it was almost easy to forget how much it hurt. Feeding time was a special moment between the two of them that no one could take away. Naomi picked up his little hand, smiled when he gripped her finger as usual. His grip was becoming stronger every day. She could tell he was going to grow up and be big and strong just like his father; Isaiah looked so much like Sam, it was scary. She saw very little of herself in his looks. Naomi shook her head, and pushed those thoughts aside, looked at the TV to distract her.

She watched TV until she felt Isaiah slow down. When Naomi looked down, she saw milk running out of the corners of his mouth. He was full but still trying to eat; he was also sleepy again. His eyes were opening and closing slowly and his grip on her finger had loosened. "Aww, look at mommy's greedy baby" Naomi teased, detaching him. Grabbing the nearest baby blanket around her, she wiped his face and put him on her shoulder. Firmly but gently, she began rubbing his back and patting him, encouraging him to burp. Isaiah must've been full of gas because once the burping began, it kept going for longer than Naomi had anticipated. "Goodness, you must feel so much better" Naomi cooed, kissing him on the cheek and enfolding him back into her arms, holding him close to her heart. He was already falling back to sleep. Naomi was grateful; she was ready to get back in her bed. But just as she was about to turn off the TV, the phone rang. To make matters worse, the cordless phone hadn't been put on the charger; it was lying on the coffee table directly in front of them making the noise even louder. Isaiah's eyes popped open in wonderment and curiosity. "Damnit" Naomi cursed under her breath.

Answering the phone rudely, she said "Hello", annoyance and disdain dripping from her voice.

The late night caller completely disregarded it. "Naomi" Violet exclaimed.

"Violet Turner, do you have any idea what time it is? I'm three hours ahead of you, not behind". So much for going back to bed; the ringing phone had completely woken Isaiah up. He was now wiggling in her arms; his eyes were roaming around taking in his surroundings. Naomi placed him on his back in her lap facing her so he could see more.

"I'm sorry Nae, but I just had this brilliant idea and I couldn't wait to call you. It's not like you had to pick up the phone; I would have left a message. What's the big deal? You're up, aren't you"?

Naomi bit her lip to keep more expletives from leaving her mouth in front of her son. Besides, it wouldn't help. It's not like she could explain to Violet that she'd woken up her newborn baby. Isaiah, amused by his mother's expression, opened his mouth like he was trying to smile; bubbles appeared on his lips and milk stained tongue. Naomi's attitude softened. "You've got a point. So what's this grand idea"? Holding the phone in the crook of her neck, she quickly tied her nightgown. She knew Violet couldn't see her, but being that exposed made her feel more vulnerable; she didn't want her friend's shrink vibes to pick up something through the phone.

"Well…I was thinking…what is that noise" Violet paused.

Isaiah had just squealed for no reason. Thinking quickly, Naomi reached for a pacifier and put it in his mouth. She also began bouncing her legs up and down, hoping it would rock him back to sleep. "It must be the TV playing in the background. So what's the idea"?

Violet didn't think the noise sounded like a TV but she wasn't there, so she shrugged it off. "I was thinking you could come back to California and work at the practice again".

She went still. If something would have been in Naomi's mouth, she would have choked. "Excuse me?! How is that a brilliant idea"?

"Just think about it. It's been over a year and we still haven't found a fertility specialist or someone with similar skills to replace you. And even if we did, they're still not you. Not only are you one of the best fertility specialists in the country, we already know you. You're our friend and family; and the timing couldn't be more perfect. Maya doesn't need you anymore; she's halfway across the world. So there's no reason for you to stay in New York. I miss you; it's time for you to come home".

Naomi sighed as she resumed bouncing Isaiah in her lap; there were plenty of reasons for her to stay in New York. Violet just wasn't aware of them. "I miss you too; I miss all of you but I'm not sure this is a good idea. Moving across the country is hard work and I'm quite settled here. And what if Maya doesn't like the program; she would come back to New York and I wouldn't be here".

"Has she said something"?

"No" Naomi begrudgingly admitted. It had only been a week but she missed her daughter and grandchild desperately. "So far, she seems to love everything about Spain; the people, the food, the culture. But things could change; life always has a funny way of getting in the way of your plans. I want to be here for her just in case".

"Naomi, Maya's an adult now; she has her own child. You can't always be her safety let; let her spread her wings and fly. You need to start living your life for you again. Come back home" Violet pleaded.

"Right, so tell me why I should come to Los Angeles again. Because right now, I would be doing it for you, not me" Naomi said, feeling a little defensive. She looked down at Isaiah whose eyes were still wide open; he looked up at her with an innocent look on his face right when an unpleasant smell reached her nose. She checked his diaper; how could babies produce so much nastiness?

"Are you really telling me that you don't want to come back? Do you really prefer New York to sunny California? Because if that's the case, I don't understand. What is so great about that city that would keep you there? I'm sure you've made a few friends but they don't know you like we do. Do you want to stay there because of…"

Naomi automatically knew where she was going and cut her off. She didn't want to hear either one of their names mentioned. As she changed Isaiah's diaper, she explained, "Maya aside, there's nothing keeping me here Violet. I'm just saying there's nothing really motivating me to move back either. I just want to be settled and since I'm already settled in New York, why should I uproot my life all over again"?

"Because the long-term benefits will far outweigh the short-term hassle; you'll be in a familiar place surrounded by the people who love you".

Naomi went back to bouncing Isaiah on her lap, thankful for the heavy eyelids she was beginning to see. "I don't know Vi".

"Come on Naomi, just think about it".

Violet was a persistent woman who could be a brat when she didn't get her way. Knowing she would be stuck on the phone longer if she flat out said no, Naomi decided to appease her longtime friend. "Fine, I'll think about it".

A few minutes later, she hung up the phone. Picking Isaiah up off her lap, she turned off the TV and stood up. "Alright Zay-Zay, let's get mommy's stinky baby to bed". As she walked back to the nursery, Violet's offer stuck with her. There was no way she could go back; part of her whole reasoning for keeping her son a secret would no longer be relevant. Distance would no longer be an obstacle. However, she still had plenty of other reasons to fall back on. And the thought of going back to a familiar place, a place that she called home for so many years intrigued her. "I can't. This is my home now" she whispered to herself as she placed Isaiah in his crib and stared at him as he drifted off to sleep.

…

All hell broke loose. Everyone was talking and shouting so loudly over each other, nothing could be understood. Ironically, the only quiet people in the small crowd were the ones in the center of the drama. Their eyes formed a triangle as they studied each other, gauged each other's reactions. Naomi could feel the hurt radiating of Addison and the resentment coming from Sam flow in her direction. As for how she was feeling, Naomi didn't know, nor could she even begin to guess what vibes everyone else was getting from her. She'd been the only one holding all the cards in her hand, the one with all the puzzle pieces. Maybe she felt relieved; keeping a secret was hard work. Or perhaps she felt more trapped than ever; the drama in her life just refused to die. Glancing over her shoulder, she peeped through the window at Isaiah again. It was amazing he was managing to sleep through the ruckus going on in the hallway. However, Naomi didn't want to take any chances that the noise would eventually disturb him. "Enough" she finally said with authority, getting everyone's attention. They went deathly silent. "I realize everyone is shocked and trying to process what they just heard. But my son is just inside that room sleeping, trying to fight off a serious case of pneumonia, and I will not allow the drama out here to interrupt his progress. So shut up".

"How about you guys just leave instead" Sam suggested. "Addison, Naomi and I need to speak in private".

"Sam…" Violet started.

"Leave" Addison shouted, leaving no room for arguments.

"Great" Naomi muttered as she watched them leave. Leaning her head back against the window, she folded her arms, creating a false sense of armor to protect herself. No matter how this played out, it wouldn't end well; she was certain of that.

Addison shook her head in despair. So this is what the other side of a cheating scandal felt like. She had thought her guilt over cheating had helped her relate to how the other party was feeling; but she'd had no earthly idea. She could see that now. She didn't merely feel hurt and betrayed; she felt destroyed. "How could you" she ask desperately, looking back and forth between Naomi and Sam.

Sam instantly moved closer to Addison but she held up her hand before he could get too close. "Addy, it was an accident; we made a mistake. I'm so sorry".

"And how exactly do you accidentally sleep with someone"?

"By drinking too much. I got so hammered when I was visiting Maya in New York, I couldn't even remember what hotel I was staying at. The only reason I wound up at Naomi's place is because Maya gave the taxi driver directions. She'd already been drinking herself. We didn't plan it, we were just both intoxicated and it just happened. I don't even remember most of the night".

Naomi momentarily glanced at Sam; she'd wondered on a few occasions how much he remembered but since they had been pretending that night never happened, she'd never asked. So he didn't remember anything, none of the words he'd spoken; but somehow he remembered how he'd gotten there; interesting.

"And yet a baby was created. It must have been some night" Addison laughed humorlessly, looking coldly at Naomi.

"I swear I didn't know. I'm just as shocked as you are" Sam swore, wiping is face in exhaustion. He was tired from a long surgery and his emotions were all over the place. He was feeling guilty and like the world's biggest jackass for hurting Addison. Yet he also felt equally stunned and enraged. He turned and glared at his ex-wife. "Naomi, how could you not tell me you were pregnant, that I have a son".

"How could you both not tell me you had sex" Addison screamed before Naomi could open her mouth.

Calmly, Naomi raised her head off the window. "Because there was no reason to. Like Sam said, it was a mistake. We didn't want to cause any unnecessary pain or drama. The practice has seen enough of that over the years".

"And my son" Sam asked, wanting his question answered.

Naomi sighed. "For the same exact reason. Sam, what happened between us should have never happened. When I found out I was pregnant, I never dreamed I would move back to California. It didn't make sense to tell you when we lived on opposite sides of the country and you were...are happy with Addison. I wasn't about to mess that up if I didn't have to. When I did move back here, it still didn't make sense to tell you".

"He's my son Naomi. I had a right to know".

"And what would you have done Sam" Naomi demanded, unfolding her arms as her frustration grew. "Would you have moved to New York, insisted I move back here, sued me for custody? I'm not going to stand here and pretend it was the best decision but it was the right decision for me and my son at the time. It didn't hurt you either; you and Addison were practically living in bliss until now. I would make the same decision again in a heartbeat".

"You're here now so that's not a valid argument. Point blank, he's my baby too Naomi. I don't care how difficult our situation was, you should have told me. We should have made a decision together instead of you making one for me. And it's my responsibility to sustain my relationship with Addison, not yours. I would have had faith our love was strong enough to get through this bump in the road; I hope it still is".

Naomi nodded, tried not to roll her eyes. "Like I said, I did what I thought was best at the time".

"No, you don't get to play martyr. You don't get to stand here and act all righteous like you made a decision in everyone's best interest. The fact is that you fucked my boyfriend and got pregnant. And rather than own up to your mistakes and admit you're imperfect like the rest of us, you took the coward's way out and convinced yourself you were doing the right thing. But your actions were selfish and self-serving". Addison's face flushed red with anger; her long fingers balled into tight fists at her side.

Naomi didn't know whether to laugh or scream at them ganging up on her; it wasn't like she was in that bed alone. One thing she was sure of…she was not about to defend herself to Addison or Sam. If they wanted to portray her as a villain then so be it. She knew her own intentions. It wasn't worth it to Naomi to explain the entire truth; nor did she think Addison and Sam deserved to know. They weren't worthy of seeing the vulnerable side of her; she wasn't about to confess that she had still been in love with Sam; or fill in Sam's spotty memory; tell him about the drunken advances that she tried so hard to ignore until her body and heart had finally given in. However, Naomi did find it interesting that Addison was talking to her like she was some random woman who had seduced her man. "If that's what you want to think about me, fine. I'll be the self-righteous bitch you believe I am. But please don't insult me by acting like I'm some whore Sam picked up off the street or a gold-digger that manipulated him into bed. I'm not just anyone; your boyfriend is my ex-husband, I'm his ex-wife. And it's not like we divorced on bad terms; we were still friends. Add alcohol to that scenario and it was a disaster in the making. What we did was stupid and wrong; we never meant to hurt anyone. But if you weren't with Sam, would you really be surprised it happened"? Naomi didn't mean to but her voice almost took on a taunting quality; pettiness was rising against her will.

"But I am with him. And I have every right to expect my best friend to keep her legs closed and my boyfriend to keep his pants zipped when they're around each other" Addison shot back.

Naomi snorted; partially amused and partially pissed off by Addison's insinuations; it was the second time in less than five minutes that Addison had inferred she was easy. However, Addison did make a valid point. No one ever expected bad things to happen, especially in loving relationships. But that was the funny thing about expectations; that's all they were. They weren't hard or fast rules or even guaranteed. What people expected is rarely what they got. Naomi had never expected her best friend and ex-husband to fall in love, so of course the universe had decided to make that happen.

Cries, more like screams, began to leak out into the hallway from the room behind Naomi. She glanced back; Isaiah was awake and not happy. Seeing this as a prime opportunity to end the awkward and tense conversation, Naomi pounced on it. Besides, there was nothing she could do or say to make either of them happy about the situation. And she wasn't about to be interrogated or berated all night. "You know what? You're absolutely right Addison. I'll be sure to keep my legs closed from now on" Naomi said smartly. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a sick baby to attend to".

Quickly, she hurried into the hospital room. Isaiah was screaming his head off; he was confused, disoriented, and scared. "It's okay Zay-Zay, I'm right here. Mommy is right here" she said softly, rubbing his belly. But he was so flustered, he wouldn't calm down. He started kicking his legs and flailing his arms as his dissatisfaction grew. It took all of Naomi's strength not to start crying at the discomfort her son was in; she couldn't take it anymore. Mindful of his oxygen tube, IV, and heart monitor, Naomi carefully picked him up and held him against her chest, let him hear her heartbeat. Isaiah rubbed his head back and forth against her body, tightly clung his fists to her shirt. Naomi rocked him, patted his back. After a few minutes, he finally calmed down and went still. "That's better" Naomi whispered. "I know you don't feel good but you will soon, I promise". Picking up a blanket off the bed, she covered him with it. His fever was finally breaking, making his skin damp and cool. She continued to hold him, not wanting to put him back down, as she swayed back and forth, wiped his tears, and planted small kisses on his face.

"My God, he's so beautiful; he looks just like Sam" Addison said in pained amazement. For as long as she could remember, she'd wanted to be a mother. Timing and circumstances had continued to get in her way and now that she was finally ready, this happened. How could Sam hem and haw about having a child with her but give Naomi one without even thinking? The realization of that ran so deep, she could feel it in her marrow.

Naomi looked up surprised. She'd assumed Addison and Sam had left. On the contrary, they had entered the hospital room without her noticing. "You're still here".

"I wanted to make sure he was okay. I've already lost too much time with him" Sam said, staring at his son".

"How could you? How could you" Addison started ranting in angry whispers, her tears beginning to fall. She turned and slapped him, suddenly remembering that he was as much to blame as Naomi for the situation. "How could you give her on 'accident' what I've been begging you to give me on purpose for months"?!

Against her protests, Sam embraced her in a hug. "I'm sorry Addison, I'm so sorry for hurting you". She crumbled and cried into his chest as he repeated I'm sorry over and over again. As her cries softened, he backed up a couple of inches to look her in the eye. "I'm so sorry Addy; I pray to God we can get through this. I love you and I want to be with you. But at the same time, now that I know I have a son, I can't ignore that. He's my responsibility; please understand".

Addison wanted to shake her head, refuse what he was saying. But she did understand; no matter the circumstances, Sam had an obligation and she couldn't stand in the way of that. She didn't know if they would get through this intact, but Addison did know one thing. She still loved Sam. Slowly, she nodded, sniffled. "I understand".

Naomi had tried to block out their conversation, but it was virtually impossible when they were all standing in such a small room. When Sam turned his attention back to her, she was already looking at him. Even though he had yet to release his full wrath on her, it was still clear that he was very angry with her. But for the time being, he remained civil. "I want to spend time with him, get to know him. I hope we'll be able to get along well enough to work something out".

"Of course. Now that you know about him, I would never keep him away from you". Naomi truly meant that. Sam had always been great with kids and a wonderful father to Maya. He would undoubtedly be the same with Isaiah. Things would be different since they were no longer married; there would be a lot of adjustments to make but they would get there.

"Can I hold him" Sam asked.

Naomi hesitated. She'd been Isaiah's only parent for so long, it felt strange to think about handing him over to his father. But deep inside, she knew it was the best for Isaiah. She still stood by her convictions, thought she did a great job as a single parent but that chapter was now closed. It was time to turn the page. "Yes".

Nervously, Sam walked over to Naomi. Carefully, he reached for Isaiah and grasped him in his hands, pulling him to chest. He looked down at him and studied him; the little boy really did look just like him. Sam's heart immediately expanded; he had a son. Holding him finally made it real for him. "Hey Isaiah, hey little guy. I'm your dad". He smiled as his eyes became misty.

Naomi looked at them, felt her heart skip a beat. She'd expected Isaiah to cry or show some type of reaction to a stranger holding him. But he'd gone right into Sam's arms without any resistance. He seemed comfortable being held by Sam, as if he already understood exactly who Sam was.

Addison watched too; watched Sam hold the child he'd created with her best friend. This wasn't happening. The baby in his arms should've been hers, not Naomi's. A pain in her gut hit her so deep and with so much force, she felt like doubling over. Not able to look at the sight in front of her a second longer, she quietly slipped from the room and ran down the hallway.